Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Completed a six-week ďLiving Well Beyond CancerĒ workshop tonight. It was a great group of people, very open to sharing their experiences and thoughts for dealing with life in general. Iíve been off work for over a year, and it helped to have such a dynamic group of people to discuss things with. I so miss my teams at work!
Tomorrow I hope to get answers for two key things. The first thing is Iím going to find out if I can ramp up the exercise and safely take on aquafitness despite the chemo-related problems with my toenails. I havenít worn closed shoes for over a year, so no boots and stuck inside when itís snowing. But I fell in love with aquafitness last week, and I walked just a bit and wound up with both big toes infected. Ugh. I belatedly recalled that the doctor said something about not soaking the feet... There has to be something that can be done! The whiny brat in me does not want to have to wait a year to take up aquafitness, and is stamping her little feet in frustration!
The second thing is Iím going to a dental surgeon to determine if I need a root canal or a tooth extraction - it will be one or the other. A cavity that had a temporary filling grew under the gum line Ė a common thing, apparently, with radiation therapy Ė so that tooth is shot. My fingers will be crossed for good news on both fronts, although with regard to the tooth Iím not sure what constitutes good news LOL!
So things are moving along, and as much as I try to direct my energies, I am not as productive or forward moving as I would like. Slow and steady wins the race, I guess. I need to bury the sprinter in me and pull out the long distance runner!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Was of on vacation, and am now catching up with the StarFish Pre-Season Assignments that I didnít do last week!
Assignment #1 Ė Challenge Commitment
Prep equipment: Everything is ready, except I want to buy a resistance cord for some exercises my DH and I want to do together. If we get medical approval, weíll be registering for aquafit later this Friday (see the podiatrist Thursday).
Nutrition: No particular 'diet' to follow; I'll plan ahead and eat healthy foods, cut out empty calories and reduce portions.
Exercise: I will be identifying a stretching (yoga/tai chi) routine that works for me; daily weight training (alternating muscle groups) and daily cardio (via walking/Leslie Sansone DVD, aquafit and/or dance).
Community: Iíll be logging in to SP every day, and checking out my team mates blogs.
Update SparkPage Ė Done Feb 17th
Assignment #3 Ė Reasons to lose weight
Too many to list them *all*!!! Increased stamina, flexibility, and strength. I miss being active, skating the canal, hiking in Gatineau Park, biking Ottawaís trails, canoeing in our many waterways... the list goes on and on. Iím tired of sitting on the sidelines.
Assignment #4 Ė Maintaining Community Ties
Assignment #5 - Trigger Foods and Situations
Iím not sure Iíve identified triggers yet, although I have some clues. Anything not measured that is eaten out of hand (e.g. nuts, trail mix) becomes mindless eating, so I need to measure! I thought the usual sugar or chips... sometimes t hey'll be screaming at me from the kitchen, other times they can sit there for weeks. Just not sure... I think I tend to eat when Iím bored, so during at least the early part of this challenge, Iíll be making an extra effort to be aware of this, try to see the patterns, and blog as I learn things. Iím also going back to logging in Spark Nutrition (I had stopped for a while), preferably before I eat!
Assignment #6 - Know your numbers.
Eat between 1290 and 1640 calories per day (as per SparkPeople)
Calories Burned: 1920 calories per week (as per SparkPeople)
Mini-Goal: Hit 180 lbs for my 50th birthday (Sept 24); Overall goal from 247 to 120 by July 07, 2012
My 5% goal is to reach 234.85 lbs, which would be a 12.36-lbs loss, in 8 weeks.
Three more assignments to do, then it's on to the challenge!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I have been feeling like I was on the cusp of big changes, and I was right! DH and I are reaching the end of a week at Justyna7ís B&B, where weíve been focussing on us, on aquafitness and on nutritional goodness all week. Itís just what I need to kick-start my energy and get back on a positive swing.
I absolutely love being in the water, and aquafitness is just the ticket for getting me active without stressing my joints or my back. Once my muscles are stronger, Iíll be adding a lot more Ďlandí exercises, but this is just the ticket for now! Itís the springboard to get me using those bike trails this spring, hiking in our wonderful parks, canoeing in our innumerable waterways, taking advantage of our yard to grow some wonderful vegs.
Iím also feeling much more positive about my energy levels and that I will be able to return to work soon-ish (hopefully in May). Itís been a long haul and quite isolating, but my co-workers are a wonderfully fun loving and supportive bunch of people, and I miss that daily interaction with them!
Aaannnd... if Iím not mistaken, itís day 68 of the 100-Day Countdown.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Iíve been doing a lot of contemplation lately, and realized that yes, I am just tired of fighting. I think I need to acknowledge it somewhere, and I hope youíll allow me to do it here...
Iíll put it in the context of:
ē Illness during my teenage years that doctors didnít know what to do with, or how to diagnose. Had to quit school at 16 (finished HS by correspondence), and was told I would never be able to hold down a job. Forget about university. Finally got to uni when I was 24.
ē Issues during pregnancy put me in bed for 3 months, then no exercise for quite a while
ē Health issues and 3.5 years of arguing with doctors finally led to thyroid removal and diagnosis of thyroid cancer, and subsequent treatments.
ē Then breast swelling, orange peel skin, etc. led to diagnosis of Inflammatory Breast Cancer and all the nightmare stories that entails regarding survivorship (or lack thereof), chemo, bilateral mastectomy, radiation therapy. Luckily, although 22 lymph nodes removed, no mets. Iím still off work, though, started Tamoxifen. I gained nearly 10 lbs the first week I started it, but am in a holding pattern now. Chemo screwed with my toenails, and I havenít worn closed shoes in a year (difficult when thereís snow, but Iíve been wearing clogs). Energy is gone.
All this to say, Iím tired of fighting. Iím tired of the uphill battle, of Ďimpressingí everyone with how strong I am, blah, blah, blah. I want to go snowshoeing, bike all the wonderful paths in Ottawa, go canoe-camping, skate the canal, so many other things. Sometimes I just want to scream, but I know it will just affect those around me really badly and will hurt more than help in the long run.
Not giving up the battle Ė not by a long shot! So many things are going well for me, my son has just been accepted in the program he wanted at College, my husband is a blessing that words cannot begin to describe, I actually have a job I enjoy to go back to and a lot of moral support there.
I just had to say it somewhere Ė Iím tired of fighting. I'll be back to my usual self tomorrow. Today, I'm wallowing.
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Iím going to have a tough finish to my week. I asked my DH to pick up a desert yesterday as he was stopping by the groceries to pick up some veg and we had someone over. ďA desertĒ I said. He came back with cookies, a chocolate coffee cake, and a carrot cake/loaf. Four cookies and one slice of cake are gone. The rest is sitting there, calling to me while Iím home all day and he and our DS are both gone.
I have to figure out some strategy to stay away from these goodies when they come in the house. Neither my DH nor my DS eat a lot of desert, but when they do go for something they always bring back 2-3 things. DS (and his friends) especially burns the calories like crazy playing soccer, running, etc. but DH and I can afford those empty calories a lot less. I know next time Iíll be a lot more specific and say ďpick up a fruit saladĒ rather than ďa desertĒ. Although he never brings back 2-3 fruit salads when I say that LOL!
Any suggestions to build up my resistance to such insidious interlopers in my kitchen will be much appreciated. In the meantime, Iím taping a fat picture to each container!
EDITED to say, no I'll tape a picture of an active healthy person to the containers - much more positive!
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