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So THAT's where it comes from (points...)

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

I know the source of my relationship with food.

A bit of background. I started a migraine on Friday, and it held on through the week-end and Monday. It wasn’t huge pain , but it was lots of nausea and light sensitivity and sensitivity to movement. And what did I reach for? You know it. Food. Not just food (which, you know, I DO eat every day), but ice cream and chips and chocolate. I’ve been mulling over WHY ever since.

I’ve always known part of it works (the neurologist says the ice cream thing helps through the same process that gives you brain freeze when you eat it too quickly). Clearly part of it (that would be the part that isn't ice cream) is “comfort”.

Strangely enough, I’ve expressed it a few times in posts or blogs, but I guess it never really sunk in until I read MKPRINCESS007’s blog “It is never too late”. Go read it. It’s short, insightful and to the point. You don't even have to go searching... just click on the link below!

In any event, I realize that so many people around me, meaning to do good and following medical advice at the time, conspired to make sweets especially “comfort” for me. I was diagnosed with hypoglycaemia when I was two after two weeks in hospital for a myriad of tests. Medical advice at the time was that I eat sweets when I felt ill. So there were always chocolate bars in the fridge for me (especially in case I woke up in the middle of the night sick), and if we had run out it was spoonfuls of corn syrup. When I hit my teens (aka puberty), my teachers saved their Hallowe’en, Easter, Valentine’s and Christmas chocolates for when I felt ill. A full drawer in each of their desks.

I guess I come by my “chocolate is comfort” script honestly!

That being said, this is the first time I actually put two and two together. Believe it or not, I’m generally known to be an intelligent person, but for some reason – I guess because it’s such a part of me now – I never realized how far back my lessons went. Now that I know precisely (because I’ve always generally known there was something there!), I need to develop strategies for when I’m not feeling well. Because, let’s face it, when I feel like $hit and can barely see or stand straight, I’m not going to be thinking rationally or focusing on what’s healthy. So, for my Top 4 List of today:

(1) Strategize, for home, errands and work, and find something healthy that works!
(2) Sew buttons on my son’s shorts (who, apparently, wore them half the summer last year without buttons, using the belt to hold them up) Attendant to that will be teach my son how to sew buttons, but that won’t be today since he’s at school, then getting ready for a 3-day canoe/camping school trip
(3) Make marinated salads, that will last through the week-end
(4) Tackle my desk (this is a multi-day project!)

Happy Hump Day!

MKPRINCESS007’s blog

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKCHANTAL 6/11/2011 2:42PM

    sugar is brain food, you know

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KELPIE57 6/9/2011 4:32PM

    Great blog, great insight

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JULIEANNCAN 6/2/2011 1:05AM

    So glad you were able to gain that insight! It sounds like you have a busy day. I hope you made some time for fun! :)

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TEDYBEAR2838 6/1/2011 8:57PM

    YOU GO GIRL! Isn't SP Wonderful! emoticon

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MKPRINCESS007 6/1/2011 8:28PM

    Oh wow, I feel so honored that you put my blog on your page and found some insight to yourself through my situation. That makes me feel amazing!

After reading your experience, it is so true that we both learned these lessons for different reasons, but it all boils down the same...........unhealthy view of food.

So glad you were able to glean something from me, and I most definitely did from you.

Friending you, hope that is cool!

Have a great evening


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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 6/1/2011 1:03PM

    Thanks for sharing that blog and your insights. Good luck on your goals today! emoticon

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NO_SNOW_BODY 6/1/2011 9:43AM

    Guess finding the triggers for your migraines are next then you won't run for the chocolate. Of course when I have a migraine I always eat a small piece to help me, guess I need to figure that out too.

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    Thanks for sharing your lessons! Have a wonderful 'hump' day!

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Pressing the re-start button on yesterday

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Well, yesterday was a write off. I started a migraine which, since chemo/radiation, doesn't come with tons of pain but does come with dizziness, light sensitivity and oodles of nausea. Ugh. I still have it a bit (4/10, if the doc were to ask), so I'll likely have to take it easy today. Today's Top 4 List pics up from yesterday's, but I'll probably send DH to do groceries alone instead of going myself.

My Top 4 List:
(1) Menu, grocery list (send DH to do groceries)
(2) Sort two work boxes, pack to return to work
(3) Exercise (even something mild is better than nothing!)
(4) Meditate/appreciation

Aside from that, I'll be putzing around, trying to declutter a bit. It's rainy outside so I can't work in the garden, but I may sit on the porch with a book. At least it's quiet when it's rainy - no whipper snappers or gas mowers in the neighborhood!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 5/31/2011 2:11PM

    Hope you feel better. Do what you can! You inspire me daily, emoticon

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KALISWALKER 5/30/2011 6:22PM

    I hope you got out and enjoyed your book!

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JULIEANNCAN 5/29/2011 1:46PM

    Hope you're feeling better! emoticon

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KELPIE57 5/29/2011 10:55AM

    Take care, and take the time, and enjoy that book.

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SLS-NY2IN 5/29/2011 10:48AM

    You are very inspiring!

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Getting to my "new normal"

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Review of Thursday:

Meals... Breakfast, lunch and supper were as planned, except I had cauliflower instead of Brussel sprouts.

Exercise... Fail. No exercise at all. Very tired all day (perhaps because I hadn’t slept all night???)

- Made a rhubarb-apple compote in the slow cooker, with rhubarb from the garden and a $1 bag of apples from the day-old shelf. It was high time I went out and picked that rhubarb!
- Clear out three boxes of stuff, including a full box of things I brought back to work yesterday!
- My “nap” turned into a three-hour sleep! So I didn’t make our lunch, we ate out (but ate the same things I had planned to make).

Review of Friday:

Meals... Again ate as planned for breakfast and lunch. We had take-out for supper – Lebanese rice, fatoush, chicken. Healthy enough except (probably) for the sodium.

Exercise... Another fail. I’m realizing that I don’t have enough “spoons” to exercise and work these days, and get everything else done that I need to do. I’ll have to figure something out to make this work better.

Activities ... A very full workday requiring heavy concentration. I did some great writing and editing, and got sent to a meeting at the last minute and was able to not only keep up with the discussion, but contribute. Not bad after being away for 1.5 years! I’m happy to see that I have very mild “chemo brain” that’s managed by lists to help me focus and remember, BUT I did use up too many spoons and was exhausted last night. Still feeling it today.

And here, I have to apologize to Team StarFish, because I have totally neglected logging anything onto the points thread this week. My head was totally not there this week, and I wasn't tracking things at all. emoticon Promise to do better this week!

emoticon Today’s Plan

Breakfast – a kinda fried rice with eggs and veg. Black coffee.
Lunch – will be making a broccoli raisin salad, and I have some cooked chicken in the fridge. Supper – Pork chops on the BBQ with veg, and a bit of rhubarb compote as a 'salsa'

My Top 4 List:
(1) Clean out fridge, in preparation of...
(2) Menu, grocery list, groceries
(3) Sort two work boxes, pack to return to work
(4) Send bday notes/cards

Also, although the doc said my Vitamin B12 was fine (but was worried that my thyroid wasn’t functioning properly, until I pointed out it was removed in 2006), I double checked my bloodwork report. Vit B12 is shown as being “insufficiency” (not as low as “deficiency”, but also not “sufficiency”), so I’ve begun to take Vitamin B12 in the morning. They say that you see results within a few days, so I’ll assess next week-end if it’s helping or not.

I'm also realizing that I'm adjusting to my "new normal", if I can put it that way. I'm still not juggling my spoons as well as I could, but I'm determined to get back to being as active as I was before the two cancers, but I'm realizing I'll have to adjust my thinking about how, and especially how soon, I get there.

On my way to having a great week-end! I hope you are too!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUTHXG 5/29/2011 1:25AM

    You really are doing well. I'm so glad you are getting back into the swing of work & finding that your brain isn't too fuzzed up. It does take time to build up strength with this addition to your schedule, though, so be kind to yourself. We are not blaming you for not having the wherewithal to exercise yet--or for not always keeping up with tracking. Little by little!

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DRB13_1 5/28/2011 12:45PM

    "New normal" ...what a good term!
A little progress every day...

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KELPIE57 5/28/2011 12:00PM

    I don't like the word fail, you are doing so well everywhere please, don't put yourself down. Remember you only have so many spoons, and you can't use them all up! You are doing GREAT!

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Getting back to normal

Thursday, May 26, 2011

My part-time return to work has led to a loss of focus for me this week, and I need to get back on track. I haven’t slept all night, I’m not eating nutritiously, I’m disorganized. So my plan for the day is as follows:

Breakfast today was:
Omega 3 eggs, 1 slice walnut bread, turkey sausage, black coffee

Chickpea salad, and pasta salad, and a small can of tuna in water. I’ll have the same at work tomorrow.

Leftovers: Mashed potatoes, Brussel sprouts, stewed beef and mushrooms.

Since today is a non-work day, I plan to do both cardio (stationary bike) and strength (core and upper).

Aside from that, doing household chores is the name of the game today since it’s raining outside. Plus, I’ll likely fit a nap in there somewhere!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KELPIE57 6/9/2011 4:29PM

    nap, good word!

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 5/27/2011 11:29AM

    Hope you get back on track with this plan!

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    A change in routine always challenges us to keep up with the 'healthy habits' we have formed. Sounds like you are making headway and will do great!!

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JUSTYNA7 5/26/2011 10:22AM

    Sounds excellent. Step by step! You have the resources and I think you are right, the key is focus. Great plan.

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TEDYBEAR2838 5/26/2011 9:30AM

    There ya go. Having a "plan" is an excellent. Now stick with it. It takes time to adjust sometimes to new things.

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MUMMYUK2 5/26/2011 8:14AM

    Remember 1 day at a time emoticon

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TODDERICKV 5/26/2011 8:05AM

    Yes, I have had a rough few days and heading into a weekend out of town. I am trying to get back on track today.

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JECKIE 5/26/2011 8:04AM

    Sounds like a great plan! You just need to figure out your "new" schedule and I'm sure it'll all work just fine. :)

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Feeling much better, thank you!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Yesterday was so blah, I was nearly afraid to go to work today. But off to work I went, and things went very smoothly.

It helped immensely that my DH called me around lunch time to tell me that the soccer week-end had been cancelled. The fields are too wet to play on. So my disorganized week-end has suddenly turned into: now I have transportation to pick up plants, and help to put them in!

I did learn my lesson this week (I think... it seems I need to keep re-learning it!): I promise that I will not overdo it tomorrow, will properly consider how many "spoons" I have to spend and spend them wisely so I'm not flat on my back Sunday or Monday. Tuesday I'm back to work again.

ETA Also, a non-scale victory! I bought a new pair of jeans in a smaller size a couple of weeks ago, hoping to get out of those elastic-waist jeans. Well, today I forgot I was wearing my new jeans and I pulled them down without unbuttoning/unzipping them. Hmmm... maybe I'll need smaller jeans soon! Gotta go basement shopping this week-end!

Have a happy Sparkly week-end!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIEANNCAN 5/21/2011 1:40AM

    So glad you're feeling better! Have a lovely weekend! :)

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RUTHXG 5/20/2011 10:06PM

    So glad you're feeling better & looking forward to a productive weekend! And yes, it's so important to pace yourself--you're still recovering from some Big Stuff.

Hurray for smaller jeans!


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JECKIE 5/20/2011 9:11PM

    I love that jeans story! That's amazing. Gotta love it!
I'm right there with you on watching what I do this weekend - rest and recharge this weekend, and enjoy your plants!

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TEDYBEAR2838 5/20/2011 7:48PM

    Sounds like things are really coming together for the weekend.

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