Sunday, May 08, 2011
Things really feel like theyíre coming together, like pieces of a puzzle falling into place. Yesterday, I blogged about trigger foods and trigger situations, and itís something I had a hard time to nail down. I realized while I was biking today that one of the reasons is because thatís not my usual frame of mind. Iím usually a positive person, and I think was in denial about things that brought me to a negative place.
Therefore, without further ado, I bring you my positive triggers, defined as those triggers that get me in a good mood, feeling strong and healthy.
The first one I blogged about a while back (Nov 13, 2010), following a concept that Justyna7 had brought up: thinking about warm fuzzy thoughts instead of warm comfort foods. I wonít bother repeating my warm fuzzy thoughts here; suffice it to say that this concept really resonated with me at the time, yet I somehow forgot about it. Time to bring it back to the forefront!
My mantras (blogged March 19, 2011) continue to support me on my journey, and I really should rely on them more than I do.
Iíve learned something new about myself. Although some people use television, reading or other things to distract them during exercise, that doesnít work for me. Iím finding with the stationary bike that I prefer to just close my eyes, listen to my music, and focus on my movement. It brings me back to a powerful place when I use to bike/skate/walk everywhere I went, miles and miles each day. So when I get on that stationary bike with my I-Pod, Iím immediately brought back to that aura of strength and health. Wonderful. I guess itís a type of indoctrination / ingraining / patterning. Iím sure thereís some term for it.
Music in general gets me in a good mood whenever I hear it. Some songs in particular will bring back memories of painting parties, walking, dancing and other things that instantly make me smile.
(As an aside, in the things that make me go ????? Iíve just noticed thereís a ďRotisserie ChannelĒ on our cable line-up. Itís just six chickens spinning on a rotisserie. Thatís all. ????)
Yesterdayís Plan: I did 35 minutes of biking, logged my food (a bit over in calories, but in range for protein, carbs, sodium and fiber). Did not do a bootcamp video since I noticed it's a cardio, and the biking covered that.
Todayís Plan: Biking again, at least 30 minutes. Go to Gatineau Park and walk one of the easy trails (flat, 1 mile). Make good food choices (going out for breakfast), and log food insofar as possible. Do groceries, but plan the menu around whatís already in the freezer. Need to make space in anticipation of local markets being open and fresh food being plentiful. I'm not sure how much I'll be home, but I will make an effort to do the bootcamp video sometime this evening.
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Ok, so today is day 1 (take 2) of the Spring Bootcamp for me, and of the 5% Challenge. Iím a StarFish!
One of the prep assignments (#4) for the 5% Challenge addresses triggers, and itís had me thinking all week because Iíve never really identified my triggers. They define trigger food as ďthe one that gets you off course for the next hour and you are not eating because you are truly hungryĒ and a trigger situation as ďwhere you are, who you are with and what you are doing this happensĒ.
Iím not sure I have a particular binge food. Some days, I can resist just about anything in the kitchen or elsewhere. In the past few months, though, Iíve had binges on raisin bread, cookies (not even good ones, at that!), ham, almonds ... thereís no rhyme nor reason to it. It can be sweet or salty, crunchy or smooth, carbs or proteins, hot, cold, room temperature. The only common characteristic seems to be that itís edible LOL!
Itís ok to binge with my husband. Huh, thatís a surprise. No actually, I had never realized that. My son is aware of nutrition due to some courses heís taken and where he wants to be (eventually, a fireman), and binging around him would be embarrassing somehow. I donít binge around other people; most of them are accepting of a simple ďno thanksĒ when it comes to food, and thereís no pressure to eat more, taste something, etc. But for some reason Iím ok binging with my husband. Example: last night, I say ďI feel like a dessertĒ and he pulls out not one, but four boxes of cookies. Yeah, I binged.
Part of it is boredom. Iíve been home mostly alone and mostly secluded for the past 1.5 years while I had and recovered from cancer treatments and their side effects. Part of it is some days Iím just tired of fighting, so I just give in. I also think heís tired (heís been my main support during this whole cancer experience), and I donít think he wants to be the one to convince me not to do something I seem to want to do (in this case, eat dessert). I donít even know that he has the words because, frankly, I can get pretty stubborn. I also notice that when I binge like that, so does he so itís not healthy for either one of us!
There are elements of boredom and of feeling sorry for myself in there, but when itís happening I donít see that at all. All I see is the bread, or the almonds, or whatever. It doesnít even feel that good; mostly, it just feels like filling time.
Convenient access definitely makes a difference. I canít walk or bike to the grocery to get anything Iím craving (although most times my husband is willing to go get it).
So the big question is how do I better manage so that I donít surrender to my triggers?
Iím holding on to the fact that this is a temporary situation Iím in. My last hurdles are being addressed, my toe (although still bandaged) is healing and should be ok by June. I will be returning to work in a week, after having been delayed by a viral infection. Thereís also some issue with my B12 vitamin level Ė Iíll find out more in about a week.
In the meantime, this is what I need to do:
ē Keep fruit and veg chopped and handy, so that when I do face triggers I have something healthier to eat
ē Keep really unhealthy foods out of the house, or at least away from me (i.e. donít tell me itís there, and donít put it where I see it). This is more difficult, as my son plays soccer and burns off calories like nobodyís business and, as mentioned, my husband isnít very good at saying ďnoĒ (or Iím really good at convincing him LOL!)
ē Measure other foods (e.g. almonds), so that I am eating a serving not binging, and savor each and every bite. Really take notice of how it feels in my mouth, what it tastes like, how it makes me feel. Maybe Iíll get to the bottom of some other stuff here (boredom, feeling sorry for myself?) and learn to deal with it better.
ē In the words of our fearless leader Kaliswalker, ďrecord it in Spark Nutrition before I eat it and if I still want it after I see the calories, I will still eat it, but I will be mindful of what I am doing.Ē
ē When I do feel triggers coming, make myself a nice cup of herbal tea.
ē (ETA) When my head is full of negative voices, drown them out with my I-Pod!
So here I go, starting Day 1!
The plan for today is to do the Bootcamp video, 30 minutes on my stat bike, and to log my food in SP.
Friday, May 06, 2011
This follows my blog of April 26th, where I outlined my plan to take up a four-week challenge (the Spring Bootcamp), an eight-week challenge (the 5% Challenge) and a longer-term 50-lb Challenge (to Sept 24th). I was starting it all on April 30th, but a viral infection has come to interrupt my plans. My return to work was also postponed for two weeks because of the infection (which might be mono... still waiting for bloodwork to come back!)
Therefore, I am starting this Saturday, May 7th. Given the situation, I won't be going hog wild with the exercise, but I also don't want to just sit here feeling worse for not doing anything.
Since I've had to be quiet this week, I've been working on sorting through recipes, getting rid of those that are not healthy and trying new recipes that are healthy. It's been working out quite well, and I feel like I've been advancing on my goals even if I haven't been able to exercise. Part of me feels like it's all just a game, really, until I can really get moving, but it gets me through the day LOL!
Thursday, May 05, 2011
"When there's no getting over that rainbow
When the smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you"
Thank you SparkFriends for all the support as I struggle with this stupid non-health!
Monday, May 02, 2011
It just seems I've been in cycle through cycle of illness, my entire life. I was just getting over the cancer treatments, fatigue had been abating, then started up again last week. This morning, I've started exhibiting symptoms of mono (my son just got over it) -- haven't been able to stay awake for more than 30 minutes at a time, sore throat, sore ears, coughing...
I have an appointment with the doctor late today, and I'm hoping it's nothing but it's hard to keep that optimism going at this point. I was supposed to go back to work tomorrow and now that's in question. They obviously don't want me back if I'm not up to par, and/or if I'm contagious.
At this point, I'm telling myself by the time I'm 50 (in September), all will be good and the second half of my life will be full of health. It seems a very, very long time away right now...
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