Tuesday, June 23, 2009
and when I get back to full speed I'll be better than ever. I didn't fall (fail) I only stumbled and I caught myself. Now, sitting here looking out over my back yard I realized it is something that "has" to happen every so often. It's kind of like sitting back and regrouping, forcing you to analyze mistakes and come back stronger. Without these little stumbles we would plod along never making any REAL progress; but by stumbling we take a big serge ahead and pull ourselves out of that plateau, up where there is new scenery (and maybe a different dress size). It's all out there waiting for us, all we have to do is reach for it.
Don't stick your head in the sand, or look the other way. Just because you stop recording your weight, or you stop entering which foods you ate, honey, that does not mean that they went away! So gather up your resolve, write down the heavier weight, record the ice cream you ate, or the nacho's, and move on with your life. Standing still is the danger!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
To analyze a slump you need to figure out what caused it in the first place. Now it could be lots of different things, as varied as the people we are. Mine usually happens due to some little thing going haywire in my life. Perhaps something didn't work out the way I had expected, or suddenly I had a bill that I wasn't expecting and that wiped out all the "extra" money I thought I had. It really doesn't make any difference what the cause was (but it's good to know) it's how you handle it that is important.
You may not even realize at first that you're in a slump. True, you notice those .2 or .4 increases on your scale, but you kind of shrug and figure it was the nacho's or whatever that you ate the night before. Nope! It would be nice if that is all it was, for the next day would take care of it. I'm talking about when it just seems like no matter what you do, those little .2's and .4's keep adding up on your scale! You don't really notice as you leave the dentist office that you reach in their candy jar and take a couple of those bite-sized Snickers out, and of course pop them into your mouth before you even climb into your car. You forget the little glass of wine you had when you were watching TV (just to settle your nerves). And because you were busy all day and wouldn't have time to cook you grabbed one of those handy 'pot roast' packages that was already cooked and just needed to be stuck in the microwave. You added your own steamed veggies and felt pretty good about it, didn't you? What about the gravy? Ah....yes....it did have a little bit of gravy on it, didn't it? I guess I overlooked that.
When you get right down to it, there are lots of little things that get overlooked when we are in a slump, things that we would notice immediately if we were on our toes. We were just 'too tired' to take that early morning walk with our dog, but 'we'll make up for it this afternoon.' Sure you will. Did you?
Now all of these things probably don't fit each person. We've all got our own little comfortable things that we fall back on when we're trying to comfort ourselves. If it wasn't nacho's it might have been a piece of cake or pie. If it wasn't skipping the morning walk, it might have been that you didn't do your usual 'workout.' But look over your daily habits and you'll see them lurking there in the shadows -- they all add up. Hey! They are part of the .2's and .4's.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
when you find yourself suddenly alone? I asked myself that question years ago (just over 8 years ago) when I found myself alone when my husband lost his battle with cancer. I knew other people in our community who had lost their spouse. Sedona has many Senior Citizens, so it seemed that there was always someone who was losing a loved one. They would close themselves off to everyone, or they would join groups to battle the lonliness and sorrow. I, of course, decided I didn't need any of that. I would bury myself in work, and if any one asked how I was doing; I'd answer "Just fine." I honestly thought that was true.
Looking back on all of it, I realize now that it wasn't true at all. I should have reached out. Or perhaps went off by myself to mourn my loss. Work was not the answer at all. All I did was deny my sorrow, and I buried it deep. I covered my emotions with smiles and fooled everyone by putting up a good front.
It took me years to realize the anger that was there. The bitterness, but mostly the sorrow that I was now facing everything alone. I wanted to strike out at my friends and their happiness. I wanted to tell them to stop belittling their spouses, to love and appreciate what they had, for they could lose them tomorrow! Love should not be taken for granted, and you should always, always tell your friends and loved ones how important they are to your life.
Time has a way of healing. I suppose I have healed by now, but I still observe the people around me and wish, so desperately sometimes, that they would realize that love is precious, and time is not something that stretches out endlessly. It could all be over tomorrow!
Saturday, June 06, 2009
.....and I think I lost. Like most people with all the financial upheaval going on, I try to watch what I spend. My "bundle" with my phone/cable/internet company kept going up. They even raised the monthly bill by $7 anticipating the news that you could no longer watch TV unless you were upgraded, but when the cut-off time was extended to June 12th did they remove the $7? Nope! So a few months ago when I had a flyer on my door announcing phone/satellite/internet for about half the cost that I was being charged each month, I jumped at it.
My new satellite was installed the very next day! I waited about 2 weeks and heard nothing about my phone service or internet, so I called the company and was told I could call the phone company direct (I wondered about that, it seemed they should coordinate it all) but I did as I was told. I waited 2 more weeks. I call the phone company again. No record of my order. I complained a little and placed the order once again. Finally they do come out and I have my phone service changed. One of the nicest features is that I would have unlimited long distance calling! Now for the Internet. Sadly I learned that DSL was not available and I would have to settle for "dial-up" if I wanted the special "bundle" price. Even if I accepted the dial-up service, no one seemed to know anything about the company who had originally made the good offer to me -- how strange! I was on my own! I finally bite the bullet and say I will take the dial-up, after all, I spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME on the Internet. Maybe with dial up I'll use all that spare time to exercise (still dreaming, Eve)!
Guess what folks? Two more weeks go by -- no disk to download the slow-boat to China, my term for dial-up. I call the phone company yet again, who I'm sure is sick to death of me by now. Order? Oh! That order!!! It will take about 2 weeks, now where have I heard that one before. My life is being lived in two-week-increments. Of course I still have the high-speed internet, so I'm loving that, it's just costing me twice as much as it was before! Finally the day arrives and I receive my disk in the mail. I know it won't be activated until last Thursday so I impatiently wait till then (I'm not a patient person) and after checking out my SP mail I decide to put in the disk and get started. I remove all traces of my cable internet. Hook up the phone line and put in the disk. After clicking a couple of buttons the screen says "Please wait......." So I wait.......and I wait.......and I wait..... well, there is a limit to my patience and I've already gone WAY past that point, so I call msn and want to know exactly how much time it takes to download this stupid disk of theirs. Oh, yes, I also find out at this point my phone lines are dead, and I have to unhook it from my computer before they will work. They check their records and tell me "it won't be activated until 5:00 p.m." How lovely! (Yes, I went to charm school) I do some errands and even take a nap. I give them PLENTY of time; I even wait until 6:48 p.m. to install my disk. It says "Please wait......." I finally unplug it -- because my phone will NOT WORK with it plugged in. I speak with Tech Services. It is finally determined that my computer is not compatible to download a simple dial-up system. I'm thinking it can do high-speed, it can do DSL, but for dial-up they expect me to contact Dell Computers and ask for something so my fairly NEW computer can download dial-up. I tell them %^&*( which roughly translates to "I think I'll just stick with my cable high-speed, thank you very much.")
The picture at the beginning of the blog? That's how I felt after going through this exhausting afternoon of non-productivity!
The End...... until the next segment of my Soap Opera Life!
Monday, June 01, 2009
As I stepped on the scale and saw the two pound increase I knew my mood over the week-end was to blame, impulse eating, mood eating, whatever the rhyme or reason, it was eating, eating, eating. Just plain too much eating, and probably the wrong choices at that.
Another relationship down the tubes. My problem was not attracting men, it was in liking them once I met them face-to-face. I wondered for about the millionth time if perhaps this was God's way of letting me know that I'd be alone the rest of my life. While it's true that I am an independent person, I actually "want" someone to be around me to pamper and love. And someone to love me. Lord, I don't want to be alone and lonely when I'm 80 or 90! I used to brag that I was going to live to be 100, but if I have to be alone all those years, I don't care if I even see 80!
I sat at my computer and opened my mail. A Spark Goodie, that cheered me a little. At least there was someone out there thinking of me at that very moment it had been sent. And as I went through a few more entries, Spark Mail. I read the message and sat with tears in my eyes. There are people out there who care. People I don't even know; and yet they take their very precious time and energy to write to me, to let me know they care and want me to be happy. I'm not sick. I'm not obese. I have a comfortable life. Instead of feeling so sorry for myself, I should take a little time to see all the good I have in my life. Thank You! For this morning you truly touched my heart with your heart, with your caring! Isn't that what life is really all about?
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