Monday, June 01, 2009
As I stepped on the scale and saw the two pound increase I knew my mood over the week-end was to blame, impulse eating, mood eating, whatever the rhyme or reason, it was eating, eating, eating. Just plain too much eating, and probably the wrong choices at that.
Another relationship down the tubes. My problem was not attracting men, it was in liking them once I met them face-to-face. I wondered for about the millionth time if perhaps this was God's way of letting me know that I'd be alone the rest of my life. While it's true that I am an independent person, I actually "want" someone to be around me to pamper and love. And someone to love me. Lord, I don't want to be alone and lonely when I'm 80 or 90! I used to brag that I was going to live to be 100, but if I have to be alone all those years, I don't care if I even see 80!
I sat at my computer and opened my mail. A Spark Goodie, that cheered me a little. At least there was someone out there thinking of me at that very moment it had been sent. And as I went through a few more entries, Spark Mail. I read the message and sat with tears in my eyes. There are people out there who care. People I don't even know; and yet they take their very precious time and energy to write to me, to let me know they care and want me to be happy. I'm not sick. I'm not obese. I have a comfortable life. Instead of feeling so sorry for myself, I should take a little time to see all the good I have in my life. Thank You! For this morning you truly touched my heart with your heart, with your caring! Isn't that what life is really all about?
Friday, May 29, 2009
Boy! Talk about loss of willpower! That's an understatement of the year. . . . . My company arrived on Saturday and as it was very early morning when the plane departed, and of course meals are no longer served onboard -- naturally I suggested going out to breakfast/lunch or whatever it was to each of us. That wasn't too bad. Can't remember what I made for lunch, but when dinner time rolled around it was "No Way! You can't be cooking!" so it was restaurant time again. And it was wonderful, fattening Italian food. I climbed on the scale Sunday morning to see a whopping 2 pound gain! OMG!
The five days that I had company, it went pretty much as I described above. And naturally, like when you invite people over for dinner, you make dessert even if you normally skip dessert yourself -- you figure you need to make it for company! Brownies! Lemon Pie! Drinks! It all took it's toll, and I saw about 2 to 3 months of hard work going down the drain!
Was it their fault? No, of course not. It's just one of those hard to resist circumstances that happen when everyone is having fun and you don't want to be left out!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
I got up and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I knew it would be warm out today, so I dressed in shorts. As I walked by my computer, it called to me, and I thought "well, I'll just see who's written, but I'll take my walk before I read them." And then...... only 30 minutes later, I fastened the leash on my dog's collar and opened the front door. The heat blasted me in the face like I had accidently opened the oven door instead of the door leading to the great outdoors.
Only slightly daunted, we started out on our journey. You could see the heat spiriling up from the pavement, and, as there was very little shade along the sidewalk, I wondered if it was too hot for my dogs paws. But she seemed happy enough, so we kept on walking. We were about a half mile from home when I began to feel drops of water on my back and realized that sweat was dripping off my hair and down my back. OK, so it was pretty warm out.
At last we come to the big grassy park and start across the lawn area. At least now I don't have to worry about my dogs feet, and I can tell she's a happy camper as she scurries around sniffing and checking everything out. Less than half a mile to go and we'll be home. We round the last corner to head home and Amber's tongue is hanging out; funny -- my mouth feels dry! Home at last. I grab a glass of ice water and Amber makes a dash for her water bowl. I look at the clock and see that it's only 6:30. Well, tomorrow we need to start earlier!
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Have you ever noticed with an old friend that when you don't see them for a long time, like 6 months or more, when you do see them, they look older, slimmer/fatter or whatever. But those people you see every day of your life, they tend to look about the same. I think the same is true of ourselves, we see ourselves 24/7 so we don't see the little changes taking place in our bodies. But the friend who hasn't seen us for 6 months or a year -- Wow!
I thought of that this morning as I was running my hands over my ribcage and stomach. "You have gotten smaller." It's been a long, slow process and although I knew I was losing a bit here and there, it didn't really have an impact until this morning. I've actually lost 14 or 15 lbs over the past 14 or 16 months, and when you look at it that way it's only a pound a month, and with me there is that constant yo-yo. Hey! Look at me, I'm getting better!
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