Saturday, March 27, 2010
Today I woke up and my face was swollen once again -- this time it was the right side of my lower lip all the way down to my jaw! Made me look funny, but I wasn't laughing! This is getting to be depressing and doctors don't have the slightest idea what is causing it.
My SP calendar said I was to go to the gym at 11:00, but do you know something? I could not force myself to get dressed and go. Sometimes people don't notice what you look like, you could have red and yellow polka dots on your face and they wouldn't give you a second glance -- but maybe I'm overly vain or something, but if there is something different about me I'm always sure people will be staring at me. So I made the decision to stay home until my face was back to normal. Hey! I've been through this hundreds of times over the past 8-1/2 years, so what's one more day?
I slipped on a pair of comfy slacks, and a long-sleeved zip up jacket, didn't do much except pull a few weeds for exercise, mostly I read and watched TV. I tried to eat healthy and tell myself that tomorrow everything will be back to normal (until the next episode!). Maybe for me the lazy day I spent is equivalent to other people binging and eating everything in sight. It seems to do me good to just space out for a day, never leave the house, kind of just cease to exist.
Does anyone else have days like this? Do we owe it to ourselves so we can keep going?
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
No, I'm not just talking "money" here, but more about the feeling of generosity that comes from the heart. Sometimes it involves TIME; other times it involves giving of yourself, perhaps by giving of your talents, your time, your money, your opinion, it could even be giving a compliment. Generosity is a funny thing, the more you give, the more you get. Sometimes it's just giving of your friendship and befriending people.
Be generous with your smiles, after all they are free! Did you ever notice that when you smile at someone you nearly always get a smile in return? And doesn't it brighten up your day just a bit when you receive a smile from someone? Or a kind word -- that's another way of making another person's day a bit brighter. And it costs you nothing at all.
Unless I'm staying home all day, I try to make it a habit to smile at people as I walk through a store, when I'm working at the Library, or when I'm at the gym. And if it happens to be one of those days when I'm home all day, spread the sunshine by making a phone call to a friend. I think it's important to reach out to some of those people you don't see often, because we never know when our time is up (or theirs either).
As far as being generous with your money -- sure, it's a good idea to help people, but do not "enable" them, there is a big difference. One example is how people are always so worried about what they are going to leave their children. The philosophy that I use is that I try to help them if possible now, while I'm alive. At least then I know where the money is going and what it's being spent on. After you're gone -- who knows?? Better to be loved while you are here than to be a happy memory in someone's mind.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Over the past several days I have not been exactly a 'happy camper' as I watched the scales go to higher and higher numbers. Some of the increase was due to poor choices on my part, some was due to a sore back causing me to not get the amount of exercise I would have liked (and obviously needed). But Friday night I was invited to the home of dear friends and I knew the meal would not be the healthiest because they are not quite as dedicated to the "healthy lifestyle" as I happen to be. So would I not eat the meal they had prepared, pushing it around on my plate and pleading 'that I just wasn't hungry' for some reason??? I decided this was a good time to take one of my splurge days that I allow myself once in a blue moon! Did any of you happen to notice the blue moon last nite?
So I arrive in a happy, "I'm ready for anything" type of mood. Accept the glass of wine I was offered, gave them the special carrots that was my contribution to the meal, told them the sauteed mushrooms were terrific with or without teriyaki in my opinion, a baked potato would be wonderful, and I have my steak a nice pink in the middle! I nibbled on some of their almonds as we all chatted and had a wonderful time. The weather in Phoenix was conducive to sitting on the patio, it was about 75+ degrees, but the sun was going down soon, and we did plan on eating on the patio. Dinner was scrumptious! Even the garlic bread which I realize is a no-no, but this was splurge night! I ate two pieces, and had a light beer that contained only 64 calories! I was in heaven!
We skipped dessert -- wasn't that an angelic decision?? But the host reached in his cupboard and pulled down a bottle of something that had been a gift from recent guests. It said 190 proof on the front of the bottle, and he swore it would kill any virus (and probably anything else too) that might be residing in my innards! Ha! He said I should just "sip" on it. Ya, right! If I'd tried to swallow it down in one big gulp it probably would have been my last gulp ever! So maybe after about 20 minutes of sipping I finally finished it off. Admittedly it really wasn't bad tasting, especially if you like the flavor of lemon, but whoa! it was definitely STRONG!
I ignored my scale this morning, and as I walked by it I could have sworn I heard something like a smothered giggle, but I could have been wrong! I did climb on the scale last night before going to bed and that number was so high I did not even want to think about what the morning number might be. It was enough to bring on nightmares!! And today I ate quite healthy, had a wonderful workout at the gym, and tomorrow I will again face the "scale" and see it is has revenge written all over it or........... just maybe, forgiveness!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
I had lunch with a girlfriend today and as we sat talking our "girl talk" I had one of those "a-ha" moments when I realized there is a very fine line between being independent and being a loner.
I have always thought of a loner as someone who didn't really need a daily hug from anyone; the hermit who could happily function in that log cabin on some remote mountain top seeing other humans on a very infrequent basis. On the other hand, independence was merely being able to stand on your own two feet and not needing or desiring any assistance from anyone else. Wanting to make your decisions on your own with little or no input from other people. Knowing what you want and going after it -- on your own, and in your own way.
The people who are of the "clinging vine" variety, always giving hugs and words of encouragement are like an alien species to the independent type. Who needs a hug, when all we want is to be left alone. We heal on our own, taking comfort in the quiet, analyzing our thoughts, working things through in our own mind. We are a puzzle to the other types, and to them we are as foreign as they are to us.
I suppose each type has their own virtues. Closeness and support by others should and could be a good thing; but many independent types feel pressured by too much attention, it stiffles us, causing frustration and creating a need for space.
I don't know what can be done about it, but I can see that when the clinging vine meets up with the loner sparks are going to fly -- or irritation and frustration are going to run rampant. What are your thoughts? Anyone out there married to an exact opposite? And which are you?
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