SCOTMAMA   188,621
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The Roller Coaster of Life

Friday, March 12, 2010

You know, if the average person had a chart of how their weight goes up and down it would look like a constant zig-zag. When we finally get our a-ha moment and do what it takes to get healthy and start on that downward trend, we are still zig-zagging, but now it starts to do it with lower and lower numbers. When we "fall off the wagon" so to speak, we do it with higher numbers. But those little variations are always with us, kind of like breaathing, or drinking water, it is just a part of our lives. I realize that if you spoke with a nutritionist it would be explained how sodium plays an important role in this up and down process, and also in the amount of water you drink. Do you get your 8 glasses each day? And if you were to speak with a personal trainer, that person would probably stress to you how important it is to get in enough exercise each day to burn up the calories that you are ingesting.

All that sounds well and good until you climb on the scale in the morning after you know you did not make the very best choices at your dinner (in a restaurant) last night. So maybe that artichoke dip and the tortillas you were dipping in there was loaded with fat -- but it was sooooo good. Yes, I did have a full glass of wine too; but I skipped dessert. OK, let's see what the scale has to say, maybe I got off lucky. We did dance several dances at that little place we went to after dinner. So holding your breath, you step on the scale (does it make you heavier or lighter to hold your breath?) you almost hate to look down to see what number the scale has stopped at. Ah! You are exactly as you were Friday morning when you weighed in. It's a good day after all -- and you ARE going to the gym today too!

Other days you may have other results, up 2 pounds or on good days down 1 to 2. But in all of our lives it is difficult to have a steady drop each and every day. As all of us hit those plateau's that can last several days. Whereas on the other hand, when we lose track of what we eat and how much we exercise, when the scale is headed for those "higher" numbers there is no such thing as a plateau, or at least I've never heard anyone complain that "I've hit a plateau" when they are on one of those gaining sprees. No! During that little lull, if there was one, they simply breath a sigh of relief and thank their lucky stars!

I know I have no bottom line to this blog and there is no definite point other than to say "Don't beat yourself up about the ups and downs you will experience as you are on your way to a healthy lifestyle." It is going to happen sooner or later no matter how diligent your efforts are. Just do the very best you can. And give yourself a little (keyword here is "little") treat every so often to give you the encouragement to keep going. No one should have to give up everything they love completely. So eat the Tom & Jerry ice cream, or the creme brulee or whatever your secret weakness is, but do it sparingly.

See ya'all at the goal line!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETFITTER7 3/14/2010 9:34PM

    I agree...last week was my first time away to visit out of state. It was my first restaurant venture since Sparks. Did I do bad? Yes and no...I did bad being over 1,000 calories over my limit...but I got a walk in that I didn't expect. Wine,chocolate,shakes, and pizza...yep I did it ALL that weekend. Yes the scale went up, but then down again. Now I am close to my weigh-in day and I am down 2 pounds from my last entry. I'm holding off till my weigh-in. We will see how I do.
I rather check my weight loss by my body than my weight. How my clothes fit or not gives me a better outlook than worry about the numbers on the scale. May your numbers be low on the scale!!!

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MARENAMOO 3/12/2010 1:41PM

    Absolutely agree. We are not trying to get slim just for the size - we are trying to fit more comfortably into our lives - participate more fully. In my life that means a glass of wine and some dancing, an occasional slice of cake etc. It also means eating those things in the context of a healthy lifestyle - mindful eating, vigorous exercise (dancing). If we deprive ourselves too much then it is not lifestyle it is just a diet. If we give too much power to the scale or to food they control us not the other way around. SO be healthy but live your life.

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Computers! The little machines that run our lives....

Monday, March 08, 2010

While it may not be entirely true that computers RUN OUR LIVES, it certainly does seem to be true that they are at the core of it. All week-end I received dire warnings from some pop-up that I had a dreaded disease (virus in computer language)! It wasn't a message from Norton, it was something I'd never heard of, and they wanted money to fix it. Did I want them to fix it? When I would say "no" they would not let me on the Internet. I could receive emails, I could even answer emails; but if I tried to click onto one of my emails such as SparkPeople that would take me to the Internet to view it -- you guessed it, NO GO! Frustrating.
My goal is to get at least 50 Spark Points each and every day. Now I could not access any of my threads/teams/nada! Finally this morning I made my way to the local Library and went online there. And until my problems are solved and my computer is up and healthy again, that may be what I'll have to do.

Even worse, when my computer was running smoothly I had signed up for a site called "Incredimail" because the icons and stuff I could use in emails were so cute! You can only access Incredimail from your own computer. What it does is take the mail from your regular email address and transfer it over to this new place called Incredimail. If you never turn your computer on, then you can access your mail from a different computer by using your regular email address and that works great when I'm out of town. But with this virus thing it doesn't want me going to Incredimail, or Quicken, or anything else I'd like to get into.

It made me wonder when my life changed so that I depend on this little machine suddenly to know if I have any money left in the bank! Or what I'm supposed to be doing on any certain day (you know, the Spark Appointment Reminder?) and gee! I don't even know how to find out what's playing at the movies without my computer! Or check the weather! I'm brain dead, all because my computer has a bug! I guess it's contagious -- because when it's sick, I feel out of sorts too!

Hey! I've having a hard time hugging my friends even!! But don't forget me, I'll still out there somewhere! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSY_TIAMO 3/9/2010 6:19PM

    I absolutely love my computer. I have learned so much in the past few years that I probably never would have known if not for my computer. I feel so lucky to be able to be part of this high tech world we live in. It never ceases to amaze me that I am able to connect with people all over the world in the comfort of my home.

We do have to be careful, but it boggles my mind. I think if I had the opportunity to learn the computer when I was in school, I would definitely be a computer geek. As it was, I learned by trial and error. I do have to say that I have had days when I wanted to toss it out the window, but I would be completely lost without it.

Rosy/Tiamo emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATLADY52 3/9/2010 12:24PM

    They can be incredibly insidious in getting into our lives. And it doesn't get any easier when some little thing, that you didn't want in the first place is doing the damage. I have wanted to tear my hair out over some of the popup ads that take over the control of the machine.

Just imagine what life would be like without computers. Scary, eh?

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FREELADY 3/9/2010 7:56AM

    Wow, this must be incredibly frustrating!

But don't beat yourself up over the computer dependency. My perspective is that you have just figured out more efficient ways to do all those things, and the computer happens to make it possible. (When my dishwasher is broken, I really notice the difference. But I don't question whether it was reasonable to rely on it all those previous months.)
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You sound very resourceful, such as using the library and other alternatives. Hope this stressful roadblock is over soon for you!
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Will I Ever Learn???

Saturday, March 06, 2010

emoticon It's kind of ironic that the last blog I put on here was all about the new romantic interest in my life. And now this blog is about how I need to be a little higher priority in this guys life. It's bad enough to come after the kids, and even the grandkids, but now it seems that even rebuilding a gazebo is a higher priority than me!

It started out on a Wednesday -- it was supposed to be "our" day; at least it was until his daughter texted him and asked if he could baby-sit for the afternoon. I knew before he even answered that the answer would be "sure, honey." There is nothing his daughter could ask for that wouldn't earn that answer. So I told him I'd clean house and make us a nice dinner. That turned out to be fine.

The next morning I left to volunteer at the Library and he set out on a couple of errands to the VA Admin. and his bank. I arrived home before him at about 12:45 and he called about 1:30. Guess what? He was baby-sitting again! And he said he'd be too tired to come over when he was done. I simply told him we all have "choices to make." He didn't call that night to say good-night. He didn't call all of the next day until about 5:30 at night. Even then it was just to say he had been grocery shopping (and paying for it) for his daughter -- and the next day he was going to rebuild their gazebo for them because there was some wind damage. So evidently even a handyman job has a higher priority than me! I wonder what the son-in-law does? Probably nothing with this built-in nanny/handyman/ ATM-machine of a father-in-law! Hey, they've got it made in the shade!

I phoned his cell phone tonight after not hearing from him all day AGAIN! The message I left was short, but not sweet. "Please return my garage door opener." And tonight I'm thinking -- "Is it me? Am I all screwed up? Or should I just quit dating and slide into old age or whatever?"

emoticon I'm waiting for my a-ha moment, but nothing is coming!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARGOMCP 3/8/2010 7:29AM

    I'm sorry it didn't work out better, Eve. I think it's harder for guys than for us women setting boundaries for ourselves and doing the hard thinking about what's important, etc. I know you'll miss the companionship though.

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SCOTMAMA 3/7/2010 11:47PM

    On my own behalf I'd like to say I was not against him helping his daughter, or even baby-sitting. What hurt the most was his complete disregard to stay in touch with me. An email, a phone call -- wouldn't you think I would be occupying some small part of his mind in this new romance we had?

Today we broke up officially. He said his asthma has been acting up due to the rain we've been having, and he saw his own brother die from that, it evidently runs in his family. So, there may have been times he DID think of calling, but didn't, as he sees it as hopeless to have a serious romance.

I could have chosen better words for my blog perhaps. All I can say is that I was hurting at the time, so it came out as more venting than blogging. I'm sad, but I guess this is just how it's meant to be.

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VANILLAFISH 3/7/2010 11:48AM

    Oh, Eve, I'm so sorry that you're feeling left out. I just read your previous blog and you sounded so happy and hopeful; a sharp contrast to this one.

My mother went through a similar situation in a remarriage, and the man's "first choice" of his children led to the end of the marriage a mere 6 months later. To this day, she wishes she'd tried harder to understand her new husband's situation. I can imagine that it might be difficult being used to having your children at the center of your life and then finding yourself having to suddenly back-burner them when a new love comes into your life.

That said, you DO deserve to fit in this man's schedule more than he's including you now. What about alternating time with his children with time with you, rather than three or four consecutive times with his children and none for you?

I hope that you can both sit down and discuss this. If you can talk about it, you can work out some kind of compromise. It doesn't have to be his children OR you. It can be both. I truly hope that your feelings for one another can overcome this.

Best wishes to you. I haven't "known" you long, but from reading your words here, I can tell you have a kind and generous soul. You deserve to be happy and loved.

XOXO

Lisa

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4CINDY2010 3/7/2010 11:10AM

  Better to find out now, rather than later, before you invest too much more of your time. emoticon

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ANNANN63 3/7/2010 7:34AM

    I married at age 48 to a 60 year old with 5 children, one of whom is handicapped. I accepted that his children and grandchildren were and are very important to him. I was lucky because early on in our relationship one of his granddaughters had a birthday (4th) and in front of me, his daughter told him that he was invited but he could not bring me because her mother would be there and she did not want to deal with her mother and dad having a girlfriend when it was all about her daughter. I completely understood the situation. DH said he would not be attending. I later told him he should go but he would not. He understood his daughter's request but wasn't going without me.

His kids and grandkids are still important and they are very good to me but I am important to him. He doesn't do things for his family; we do things for his family--things we agree to do.

Maybe it is too early in a relationship to expect more from him but I would think that if he really wants time with you, he would make more of an effort. I wonder how he would feel if you canceled on him at the last minute for your family?

Bottom line--if he doesn't make you feel valued--you are missing a vital element in a relationship.



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ROSY_TIAMO 3/7/2010 4:23AM

    As I look at it from my perspective, it's definitely harder the second or third time around. When my divorced daughter was dating again, the only thing I looked for in any of the guys she was dating, is how they treated her son, my amazing grandchild, Mikey. I felt if they didn't accept him, then she could never be happy with a lasting relationship.

She did date a couple who either ignored her son, or were downright mean. Thank God she met and married a wonderful man who is a loving and caring step dad. He has 4 grown children of his own, and I see how my daughter accepts them. She said she understands how much he loves his kids, and she is willing to make sacrifices on their behalf because she loves her man.

It is hard, but you have to be willing to accept children from a first marriage or it will never work. That's only my opinion, but I've seen it happen. When Mikey was only about 10 yrs. old, and my daughter started going out with her now husband, Mikey said to me, "Grammy, I hope he's not another jerk!" Mikey (and I) got his wish. He turned out not to be, and is a loving role model for my wonderful grandson. I got a kick out of that, "Out of the mouths of babes".

Rosy emoticon

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I Didn't Expect to Find Love

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

emoticon At 71 years old, and a widower for 8+ years I didn't expect to fall in love. I've dated most of the time since my husband died in 2001, but the chemistry that I was looking for just wasn't there. There have been a couple of serious relationships, but something was missing or just not right. As I approached 70 I began to give up hope. I made a vow that if I had no one in my life by my 71st birthday I would just give up. But then, I thought to myself, "That's just silly, just play it day by day." So I continued to look and date.

A few weeks ago a man came into my life, and we decided to have lunch. The chemistry was there! But I had grown pessimestic and wondered to myself what would be wrong with him? What would be his fault? Or would it be one-sided? Maybe the chemistry was on my side, but not on his?

He called the next day and said he wanted to see me again. This time we met for breakfast and discovered more parallels, more likes and dislikes. I started getting hopeful. But he was quiet and I had no idea how he was feeling. Our lives continued on in that manner until one day I asked him if he had met many ladies on the Internet (where we had met) and his answer made me smile: "Eve, I quit looking after I met you."

Now another week or 10 days have passed and we have gotten into even deeper, more serious discussions. We are thinking of a future together. So to all of you out there who are 70+ or even 60+. love and happiness is not only for the young; but for the young-at-heart. Do not give up hope! And do not settle for something less than complete satisfaction. That person for you is out there, have the courage to open the door and let them in. It could be your neighbor across the street, or even the man who changes your oil each time you have your car serviced. Guys, it could be that cute lady who checks out your books at the local Library! We're all entitled to happiness, and nowhere is it written that there is a minimum or maximum age for that.

As for me, there is a permanent smile on my face! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSSNOWY 3/4/2010 8:33AM

    Congratulations! A wonderful blog. I'm glad you are finding happiness.

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ANNANN63 3/2/2010 6:38PM

    Congratulations. Having a loving relationship is wonderful and I wish it for everyone. Have a great time and enjoy.

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CATLADY52 3/2/2010 12:19PM

    Way to go! I'm truly happy for you. emoticon

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HALLELUL 3/2/2010 9:53AM

    I'm not in my 60's or 70's yet, but I still could use the encouragement. Thanks for sharing and congratulations.

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DHSPARK 3/2/2010 9:36AM

    emoticon I'm soooooo emoticon happy for you, Eve. From our posts online, I think you're a great catch and am glad you finally found someone that you connect with! You're right, we all deserve love and happiness, age doesn't matter.

emoticon emoticon emoticon and finally....
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Deb

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022110 3/2/2010 8:07AM

    That's wonderful!

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VITCHY-VICKI 3/2/2010 7:38AM

    emoticonglad your happy

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CAROLINA_KOUKLA 3/2/2010 1:42AM

  awwww I have a huge smile on my face right now too!! I love things like this - thanku for sharing and I wish both of you great days together!

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The Best Things in Life Are Free

Thursday, February 25, 2010

emoticon This blog went in twice, and I have no idea why. Please be patient! lol

You're walking through a restaurant on your way to your table, when you notice a gentleman sitting with a lady at a table. His hair is silvery white and although he is elderly, his hair is thick and beautifully styled. You lean over and say in a quiet voice as you pass by; "You have the most beautiful hair." And off you go.

You are walking down the aisle of a grocery store and notice a woman in one of those electric carts struggling to get a package down from an upper shelf. You walk over and ask her if you may be of assistance. She smiles in gratitude as you hand her the package she desired.

You're jogging down the street when you see a small dog coming toward you trailing his leash behind him. The owner is huffing and puffing his way toward you also, still half a block away. You reach down and grab the leash, and return the wayward dog to the owner.

All these little acts of kindness were simple to do, both made the recipient feel good, and none of them cost you a penny. Why don't we all take the time to do more kind little acts as we see a situation where we can either make someone feel good or be of help to someone? A smile is such a little thing to give, wonderful to receive -- and some of the acts we can do for others mean very little to us, but to the person who is in need or handicapped it may be the bright spot of their day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETFITTER7 2/28/2010 11:31AM

    It is amazing how a simple act of kindness can make a persons day...then a ripple effect can occur and that person would help another,then another...such a NICE ripple effect...may we all have NICE ripples in our lives...I liked your blog...and agree holeheartedly. emoticon

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ROSY_TIAMO 2/28/2010 10:58AM

    Nice blog, truer words were never spoken. It would be a better world if people were nicer to each other, as are everyone on SparkPeople.

Rosy emoticon emoticon

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JENNY888 2/27/2010 2:10PM

    Beautiful blog. It is true that there are many beautiful things in life that are free. What a wonderful design.

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BIRDLEGS29 2/25/2010 4:58PM

    Thank you! I am often on the receiving end of these acts of kindness. I am only 4'9" tall and the cream is on the TOP shelf of the grocey cooler. I always have to ask a passerby for help but more often than not, some kind soul will offer to get it for me. Believe me, people like you are appreciated!

Jean

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CATLADY52 2/25/2010 1:24PM

    emoticon for the reminder. You are the one whose words I will follow when I'm out and about.

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MELSY82 2/25/2010 9:42AM

    We never know how our actions will affect others. Practice random acts of kindness- both will benefit from it!

Great blog, thanks for sharing!
~Melissa

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DHSPARK 2/25/2010 6:25AM

    Nice description of "random acts of kindness". Doing these things isn't only beneficial to the recipients, it's also beneficial to the one offering to help!

You're that kind of person SCOTMAMA/Eve! Nice blog.

Be well,
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Deb

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