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Bad news - very bad news.

Friday, September 17, 2010

SO, it seems that after all this poking, prodding, perforating and peering into every square inch of the poor man, my husband is not a candidate for transplant after all. We've been in one hospital or another for two weeks now, and finally they're sending him home. He could live a couple months, a couple weeks, a couple hours. Whatever. We're going home.

I have no idea when or even if I"ll be able to face the loving community here. I hope I can bring myself to be back - if I do, it'll probably be under a different name. I don't know anything right now except that I'm grateful for all you guys have given me. And I don't have any intention of using this as an excuse to either drink myself into oblivion or eat my way into a new size range (unless its smaller.) I do know I have to take care of myself, and I intend to do that. As soon as I figure out how.

Many, many blessings.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUNADRAGON 9/24/2010 4:24PM

    Friend, I am sorry to hear all you are dealing with. My prayers are with you and yours... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JRSWHIMSY 9/20/2010 6:05PM

    *hugs*

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INBRAZILFORNOW 9/18/2010 11:40AM

    Sending love, prayer, thoughts to you and your husband. We're here for you always. emoticon

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SLIMMERKIWI 9/18/2010 6:09AM

    I am sorry to hear of the seriousness of your husband's condition! Remember, we are all here for you AND for him!

I have done a lot of Terminal Caregiving in patients' own homes and understand the many emotions that you will both be going through. Please ensure that you have supportive people around you and that you have time out occasionally for yourself. This is so you can be a better support to your husband. If you haven't already made contact with them, Hospice can be a very good support system and one I would strongly recommend!

Take care,
Kris



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MOODY9 9/17/2010 11:30PM

    You are in my thoughts and prayers! emoticon

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DASEEMAN 9/17/2010 11:14PM

    Many thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Deb

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YATMAMA 9/17/2010 11:12PM

    Our love and prayers are with you and yours.

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BUNNYCATS 9/17/2010 10:40PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOMFAN 9/17/2010 10:26PM

    Hugs and prayers!

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SUZYMOBILE 9/17/2010 10:20PM

    You've been through such an ordeal already, this just doesn't seem FAIR!! You must feel like raging or shaking your fist or crying or just hiding. But you will, somehow, get through this, even though you might not know how right now.

Know that all of us are here to just BE here for you, however we can. emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 9/17/2010 9:48PM

    so sorry to hear of your problems......
keeping you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.............
blessings and hugs........lita

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PURPLELVR7 9/17/2010 9:30PM

    My prayers will be with you and your family, may God guide you and give you the strength to get through this journey.

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LINDAGRAVEL 9/17/2010 9:07PM

    We are here for you

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PUDLECRAZY 9/17/2010 8:58PM

    I am so sorry to hear this! Sending healing thoughts and prayers to your husband and to you. This is hard news, and I understand your wanting to pull in and find the ways you need to cope. Please know that we are all here for you. If you do come back with a different name, I do hope you will let your friends know it is you. We may all be 'virtual' friends, but there is real caring here. I will be worried about you.

Sending love and hugs,
Chris

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AGASSIFAN 9/17/2010 7:42PM

    We will be here, whenever you need us...

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STARLASUE 9/17/2010 7:29PM

    No words, my friend. Sending lots of prayers, love and energy. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JANEDOE12345 9/17/2010 6:17PM

    so sad for you,
Pam emoticon



Comment edited on: 9/17/2010 6:18:20 PM

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DANCINGGARDENER 9/17/2010 5:45PM

    This sucks so hard. You are strong but what a futile situation to have to waste your strength on. I am speechless with frustration for you.

Hang on. Do what you need to do to protect yourself. Shake your fist, cry into a pillow, howl into the night, bay at the moon. Laugh at little things. Forget the pain for a minute or two.

I will watch for your amazingness to shine through any new username you might use. Come back soon.

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SOULCOLLAGESUE 9/17/2010 5:44PM

    I'm with you in so many ways right now. I'm going to SparkMail my e-mail for SoulSister support, just in case you cannot bring yourself back to this community-at-large - which is valid for each of us at times. I'm soooo sorry to learn about the strains you and your husband have been under, and the challenges yet to face.
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JRIMM4 9/17/2010 5:05PM

    I am so very, very sorry that you and your family are going through this. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers and I do hope that we will see you again.

JR

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/17/2010 5:04PM

    I am so sorry!! You are a strong woman and the courage you have used to get you this far will be sufficient to get you through this as well. I am sending prayers.

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SHERYLDS 9/17/2010 4:45PM

    I wish you both all the love and strength you need during this time. Know that I'll be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

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DALMOMOF3 9/17/2010 4:43PM

    oh sweetie I am so sorry, nothing we can say will help ease your pain, I will keep you both in my prayers and hope you will be blessed with as much time together as possible. Hugs

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STARTINGALLOVER 9/17/2010 4:41PM

    My thoughts are of you both in this time.. you are there for him and that is all you can do. You love each other and that will carry you through whatever you are facing. My prayers are with you..and I am sending you thoughts of love as well. We will see you again friend.. we will see you again. We will be here..waiting for you..
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HERE2BME 9/17/2010 4:38PM

  God bless you and sending you a prayer.

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KIMBERLEY60 9/17/2010 4:34PM

    I am so sorry. I'm sure this is unbelievably disappointing to you. Take care of yourself. Love and support each other. Great each new day and live it to its fullest. emoticon emoticon

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IMREADY77 9/17/2010 4:32PM

    I'm so sorry to here that. I'm sending white light and love ya'lls way. emoticon

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No news is, well, no news.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

John is in the solid organ transplant (did you know that kidneys and livers are considered "solid", but hearts aren't? Neither did I.) unit at the hospital. He's been visited by representatives of many departments - social work, psychiatry, financial counselors, nutritionists (special nutritionists for liver transplant folks, not just a regular dietician), and anyone else you can think of - and had every imaginable test, had every body part peered into and prodded. He's had fluids taken out, and fluids put in. And we still don't have any definitive answers.

I guess that's not quite fair. The way it works is that all these folks record all of their impressions and those, along with the various test results, are discussed on Friday when The Transplant Committee meets. They will decide whether or not he should be officially listed for a transplant (he almost certainly will be.) Liver transplant candidates are given something called a MELD score (Model for End-stage Liver Disease) ranging from 6 (less ill) to 40 (gravely ill), obtained from a particular combination of lab results - his is a 29, middlin' tending towards bad. The MELD score is what determines how near the top of the transplant list a particular patient is, and to some degree, what sort of transplants may be considered.

But all that comes later. First he has to be officially listed - until that happens, there can be no discussion of possible outcomes. So he gets tested, and I get an education in the mysterious ways of Medicare and its "doughnut holes", Supplemental insurance plans A through F, Medicare Part D, high protein/high calorie diets (which has unfortunate implications for my own diet progress) and a host of other things I was perfectly happy not knowing about.

I've been holed up in a local Inn and Conference Center. Yesterday I asked them to find me a mini-refrig and a microwave, and today I went out and stocked up on microwaveable food, so now it's got all the comforts of home - more, even, since at home no one comes in and makes my bed. I loaded up on library books before I came out here, so I can entertain myself - and now I've caught up with the Kardashians and their trials and tribulations, too.

I keep wanting to make lists and plans and all that sort of thing - organize both my life and my future as best I can - but I've found that after sitting in the hospital for eight hours a day, plus or minus, I'm pretty much brain dead. (We won't talk about taking a full-size pick-up truck with an 8' bed through the circular parking garage - I'm seriously considering an epitaph that goes something like: she was flawed, yes, but my God that woman could park!)

Thank you so much for all your kind words, suggestions and support. I am continually surprised at what a loving, supportive community this is, and am eternally grateful.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZYMOBILE 9/11/2010 6:33PM

    I'd be surprised if you could even concentrate on the books, unfortunately. This has got to be a full-time preoccupation. Hang in there like you're doing, and know that our thoughts are with you!

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JRSWHIMSY 9/11/2010 12:20PM

    I'm a bit behind (as always) but you and your husband are never far from my thoughts. I'm glad you're trying to find ways to keep yourself busy. Are you able to get some exercise in? Maybe walk around the hospital grounds? It surprises me that they don't have valet parking, all the hospitals out here do and it's a free service. Make them park the darn truck ;o)

As always I hope you are both as well as you can be and are on the side of the angels. If you ever need to rant, I'm only a SparkMail away. *hugs*

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PENNYAN45 9/10/2010 11:38PM

    Thinking of you and saying prayers that all continues to go forward - to a positive outcome for you and your husband.

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LINDAKAY228 9/10/2010 10:44AM

    Keeping both of you in my thoughts and prayers

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DEBLYNN323 9/9/2010 10:12PM

    Positive thoughts to you.... emoticon emoticon

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UUCEEJAY 9/9/2010 9:54PM

    emoticon emoticon

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HIPPICHICK1 9/9/2010 9:43PM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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DREMARGRL 9/9/2010 8:45PM

    Struggle and fight....Fight the good fight...you sound prepared and armed for battle. I'm so proud of you and I don't even know you! Prayers, blessings, good vibes coming your way....XO MaryAnn emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BUNNYCATS 9/9/2010 8:35PM

    I'm sorry that you, your husband, and your family have to go through all this. Big cyber hugs, and if you need to vent, or chat. I'm here. I know I can't do much, but I have two ears and a heart. Hoping and praying that angels, spirit and animal guides are surrounding you to give you strength, peace and guidance. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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APPLEPIEAPPLE 9/9/2010 8:29PM

    Keep plugging along. I will keep you in my prayers emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/9/2010 8:28PM

    Hang in there. You are doing great handling all this. It sounds like things are preceding well.

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SHERYLDS 9/9/2010 7:48PM

    Hey Karen... emoticon emoticon emoticon
Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.


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JANEDOE12345 9/9/2010 7:36PM

    If you haven't heard it yet today: Hang in there.

Are you well-loaded with books? Here are a few faves: Middlesex, Fall on Your Knees, The Passage, The Wind in the Willows, Alas Babylon, The Miracle of Mindfulness, anything King Arthurian...I would be deep into half dozen new novels by now, just to keep my mind focused on things I could control by closing the book's covers.

Maybe you should read more cheerful stuff. How 'bout Le Petite Prince, in French yet, just to keep you REALLY busy.

I hope all continues to go well for you. You sound admirably composed and a-o-k and we all hope that proves to be true for you throughout.

Tip the maid,
Pam

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Weekend update

Sunday, September 05, 2010

First of all, thank you, thank you! emoticon for all your kind words and support. I'm amazed at the strength I can draw from knowing you guys are out there - I really had no idea of the power of community.

As it turned out, they didn't send him home the other day. They kept him over night one more night, and he was transferred to the transplant center - by ambulance, and I met them there with my own vehicle - early Friday evening. Since it's the weekend, they're not doing much besides getting him stable and in the best condition they can, and doing some preliminary testing. The main screening, typing, and evaluating will be done Monday or Tuesday when the regular staff is in.

After a brief kerfluffle over room availability - it's college weekend - I'm staying in a nice hotel/motel/inn/conference center about six miles away, getting the hospital visitor rate ($40/day) with all kinds of discounts and a shuttle service. Being the good Scotsman that I am (I crossed out "skinflint"), I brought a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, some Swiss cheese, a container of mayo and a bunch of tomatoes and apples from home, so I don't need to buy food. Hey, why spend when you don't have to?

That's pretty much all I know at the moment. I got 12 - *twelve*! - hours sleep last night - that's more than I've had in the last week combined, so I feel a lot better. Now it's time to go back to the hospital. All I really do is sit in the chair (I also brought a bag of library books) and make sympathetic noises, but I think it does both of us good. And I have a 22 year old daughter at home holding down the fort, so no worries there. We'll see what happens next.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANCINGGARDENER 9/8/2010 4:11PM

    It's your job to suck as much support out of the universe you can get your hands on. Without it, you'd have nothing to give to your husband. I am proud to be part of the direct stream of love & thoughts showering over you right now.

You need this as much as sleep, books, peanut butter and apples. If you feel yourself getting low, let us know so we can fill you up again!
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LUNADRAGON 9/7/2010 8:46PM

    My prayers are with you and yours!
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SUZYMOBILE 9/6/2010 9:17PM

    My thoughts are with you, too. It must be a relief to know he has good care and that home is taken care of. All you have to do is BE there.

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PENNYAN45 9/6/2010 8:53AM

    It is good that he has been taken in by the powers that be - and is now in their hands. I am thinking of you both and sending good wishes your way.

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STARLASUE 9/6/2010 7:41AM

    All those prayers and energy sent seemed to have gotten hubby where he needs to be. Good to hear you were able to get some much needed sleep.

Sending more prayers and energy that a transplant be possible for him sooner rather than later if it is for his highest good.

We are with you in spirit.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/5/2010 9:09PM

    I'm glad they decided to get him seen asap because it sounds like he is in the end staged of liver failure. Take care of yourself.

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LINDAKAY228 9/5/2010 7:44PM

    I am so glad they didn't send him home and are continuing with the transplant pre-requisites or whatever they are called. And I'm glad that you got some good rest too. I understand your mentality on the food too, especially since you have no idea how long this will be or what will be down the line. My thoughts and prayers will remain with you. I've subscribed to your blog so I can follow what's happening as you have captured my heartfelt support.

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SHERYLDS 9/5/2010 12:58PM

    My thoughts are with you both. Hang in there. emoticon

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Another brief announcement - Now with up to the minute news!

Thursday, September 02, 2010

emoticon On Monday, husband was reasonably well when I left to go shopping at noon. Got home four hours later and he was very confused and shaky. We decided to take him to hospital, but he opted for an ambulance instead. (We got two ambulances, almost a third, five cars, two pick-up trucks and a motorcycle - must have been a slow night at the ol' Emergency Center.)

After spending six hours in the emergency ward, he was admitted. He was pretty much of a mess - high blood ammonia, dehydration (apparently all the fluid that should have been in his bloodstream is currently residing in his legs and abdomen) and general liver failure. It's a little country hospital, though, much better at dealing with broken arms than failing livers, and after an absolutely amazing amount of paperwork and telephoning, he's being transferred to a transplant center in Rochester. He's still at the community hospital but will be transported there in an ambulance (the local ambulance corps has never made such a long transfer before - they're all excited. "Road trip!") as soon as a bed opens up.

So I have to be ready to leave at five minutes notice, and this can happen at any time, 24 hours a day. Your basic "hurry up and wait". Luckily, I have a daughter here to keep the home fires burning while I get this transplant deal underway. Both daughters are still willing to give him part of their livers (mine's got a few miles on it, but I'd give him some - hell, right about now a month in bed in exchange for a major organ sounds like a pretty sweet deal) but we won't know until the transplant people do their type-and-screen thing whether that's possible. emoticon

Since they're doing this evaluation on an in-patient basis, it looks like no matter what, he won't be home for a while. This is, oddly, a bit of a relief. I hadn't noticed how much of a strain it was to be on constant guard of his taking a turn for the worse and to be making care decisions that, honestly, I had no business making.

But at any rate, I likely won't be around SP much - very little extra time at the moment (although the hospital does have bootleg-able WIFI.) emoticon

I'm not especially worried, or at least not yet. It's a relief to have him be someone else's responsibility, have them responsible for decisions, have them administer care, and now we're actually underway on some treatment. He could most certainly still die at any time - he's a very, very sick man - but he'll be in one of the best transplant centers in the US any minute now, and I couldn't ask for more than that. And Rochester is only two hours from here, so I can go back and forth regularly.

I'll report back as things progress. Please keep us in your prayers.

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That was at 9:00 a.m. Now, a mere hour and a half later, all that is in question. Apparently there is still no bed in Rochester, and since he seems to have stabilized and, after four days, is at a statistically higher risk of catching something in the hospital, they now want to send him home. And of course, if they send him home, Rochester won't do the type and screen as an inpatient - they'll do it on an outpatient basis, which means car rides with him in the passenger seat, vomiting in the car (traditionally into the glovebox emoticon ) hotels that I can't find or afford, and a few million other things I'm not one bit ready to cope with.

But first they send him home again. Where I go back to checking on him every hour, being the nurse, dietician, drug czar, warden, overseer, housekeeper and general in-charge-of-everything life and death person (in addition to my usual duties as veterinarian and kennel lord, all-around handyman, legal secretary, landlord, and field medic for all things animate and inanimate. (Not to mention my actual, official job that I do for income.)

And he'll do as he pleases, and we'll be back in here in a week or two. Only next time I'm liable to be in the next bed.

This sounds horribly whiny and selfish, doesn't it? So add guilt and shame to the list, because why wouldn't I want my sweetheart home again with me?

Shoot.

Me.

Now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PENNYAN45 9/3/2010 3:02PM

    You are dealing with more than most could handle. Of course it is better for him to be in the hospital. My wish for you is that your husband gets admitted to Rochester soon.

Take good care of yourself in the meantime.

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STARLASUE 9/3/2010 7:01AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

This double posted so I must not have hugged you long enough.

Comment edited on: 9/3/2010 7:02:01 AM

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STARLASUE 9/3/2010 7:00AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUZYMOBILE 9/2/2010 10:00PM

    Gosh, I wish I'd checked in here sooner. You'll definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. You're such a strong woman, yet this is just too much to try to do all at once. Give yourself a break, somehow, by finding time for yourself.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/2/2010 5:37PM

    As I told you before, I think he's going to need a transplant soon so hang in there. Try to take care of yourself the best you can and rest when you are able. You need your strength. I'm sending prayers.

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JANEDOE12345 9/2/2010 12:58PM

    This is at the point where nothing anyone says can offer you the supprt you need: You need a hug and a nurse's aide.

Try to work around whatever guilt you are cooking up. There is NO reason for it! We take care of the sick because of our human nature, but we do not get graded on our performance. We just do it. You are doing what has to be done and probably just need to find some rest. Exhaustion truly messes up the mind.

This, too, shall pass but it's the time until it does that wears you out. My heart goes out to you and if I lived closer than CT, I would drive over there and lend a hand. (First a hug, tho.)
Pam
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Comment edited on: 9/2/2010 1:00:03 PM

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LINDAKAY228 9/2/2010 12:26PM

    It's totally understandable why you would rather have him the hospital, where you feel he is being watched over and is safer and can get help quicker in an emergency and also get the inpatient stuff done than to take him home, wait, and try to keep a crisis from happening. Don't be so hard on yourself. I would feel the same way. I did caregiving for my mom for several years, and the last year was especially hard. Caregiving takes a LOT out of the caregiver. You are not being whiny or selfish or anything else negative.
In the meantime we'll keep praying for you and your family. Hang in there. When it seems the darkest remember there will be a light again. And when it happens, it will probably take you a little by surprise to see the light again.

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SHERYLDS 9/2/2010 11:53AM

    Hang in there my friend. I will be keeping you both in my thoughts. emoticon

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DANCINGGARDENER 9/2/2010 11:29AM

    My comment update....

"This sounds horribly whiny and selfish, doesn't it?"

My Lord lady, this is not horrible, whiny NOR selfish! You cannot be wonder woman 24/7 for a man who will do as he pleases without standing up for yourself once in a while. You are loving, giving and insightful.

Trying to be all things PLUS absolutely selfless at the same time is expecting the impossible.

I can't imagine you calling anyone else in your situation "horribly whiny and selfish", please, please don't call yourself that. Try to be as nice to yourself as you would be any stranger on the street or any new person here on spark people. You deserve this at the very, very least.


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HIPPICHICK1 9/2/2010 10:55AM

    Darlin' you sound like you have it together and I am impressed! I'm so happy to hear he is getting the care he needs by qualified people who will take good care of him.
I'm glad that your daughter is home for support and to keep home fires burning, as you said. We all need that sense of comfort in time of crisis.
Brightest Blessings, Love and Light to you and yours.


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JANEDOE12345 9/2/2010 9:56AM

    You and your family need lots of positive vibes sent your way. What a trying time for you all! It is good to see you so down to earth about your situation: You are being honest about your feelings of relief, maybe because he is in a 24/7 care set-up. I hope things are resolved quickly with a shiny new liver and that your DH is soon back to strapping good health.
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Pam

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C11ELF16 9/2/2010 9:23AM

    Sending BEST wishes for hubby to be better soon and for the transplant to go well. Take Care of yourself too while going through all this. ((HUGS))

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DANCINGGARDENER 9/2/2010 8:57AM

    Oh Sweetpea, my heart goes out to you and your husband. I can't tell you how much I think of the two of you and your journey.

Please try very hard to keep strong for both of you... water, nutrition, sleep - both of you need for you to stay the solid pillar of wonderfulness that you are. I trust there are friends there who are caring for you as you care for him.

Know the world is full of sparkie friends who love you.
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2BMYOWN 9/2/2010 8:56AM

    Put you, hubby, and family at the top of my online prayer support group. Please keep us posted, am so sorry to see what you all are going thru. God bless and hugs.... emoticon

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We now return you to our regular programming.

Friday, August 27, 2010

I'm adjusting. Husband on the liver transplant list is becoming the new "normal", and I've talked daughter #1 into working only three days a week so she can give me a hand around the house and farm - there's too much work for one person, and if I have to pay someone, it may as well be my daughter as some local yahoo (forgive me.)

So today I spent a l-o-n-g day of serious cleaning - I totally love that mop thingee that you plug in and it emits steam!! - and I made some real progress. Even cleaned the kitchen enough to make some potato-leek soup with our own veggies.

At the end of today, I downloaded my BodyMedia armband data and entered it in the appropriate SP places - I haven't done that in a week, and it feels good to be back to paying attention. Even if I don't change my activity or diet, just entering the data keeps me aware of my goals.

I spent an hour (actually, closer to two hours) catching up with Spark Buddies' doings and team activities, and came up with a couple new ideas to jumpstart my program without making all that many changes. Sadly, I've determined that my foot just isn't ready to cooperate with the C25K quite yet, but I haven't given up that goal - just postponed it until I do a bit more healing.

I've always dealt with adversity by making A Plan - any plan, even a silly, unrealistic one, is enough to give me some comfort and change my focus. Also, I know that I feel best when I have a project that I can dig into, preferably literally - heavy physical labor, indoors or out, balances my tendency to live too much in my head. Also, that delicious tiredness at the end of the day ... even the occasional sore muscle ... there's no substitute for honest labor.

So I've make a couple plans, for myself and my weight goals, for my house, my business, my farm, my husband - you name it, I've got it laid out, and I feel much better for it. I've shaped my eyebrows and flossed my teeth. I've got my armband, my week's worth of menus, and my shopping list, and my day-planner with Time For Myself written in in ink! Yep, I'm ready to resume living my life!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PENNYAN45 8/31/2010 9:07PM

    I admire the way you approach problems - honestly and head on. I am also a list maker and a planner. It is a real help to take charge of some part of our lives when we are dealing with something over which we have no control.

I am sending good thoughts and wishes your way - for you and for your husband.

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VICIOUS421 8/30/2010 4:11PM

    emoticon

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THE_SILVER_OWL 8/30/2010 2:12PM

    I love that you have a plan and are getting some much needed help as well...

Stay positive and strong my owl friend!!!

~JJ~

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LAGREBE 8/29/2010 11:32AM

    Terrific! You seem to have it all under control!

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SLIMLILA 8/29/2010 12:20AM

    I used to think I was a planner too, but for some reason my mind and body are just not cooperating with me right now. You new attitude sounds wonderful, can it be contagious? Tomorrow will be the end of my first day with no dh or g.kids around and I can't say as I've made anywhere near the progress I was expecting... and school starts on Weds..... ooooooh.......

I have focused this week on watching what I eat and taking the sleeping pills as recommended by dr., so that has shown a success on the scale if nothing else..... now, I have to focus on having a healthy lunch ready to take to school with me..... always a challenge....

Anyway, wanted to stop and say Hi and see what you're up too.. You have a lot of challenges and I hope your new attitude and family support help lower your stress levels too....

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RUSSELLORAMA 8/28/2010 11:21AM

    Great plan! You are really getting a lot done.

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LUNADRAGON 8/28/2010 10:19AM

    I admire you for your tenacity. When adversity hits, I like lists too. It is something controllable when things seem out of control. It shows you what you can and have accomplished. Keep up the great work, and my prayers are with you.
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SUZYMOBILE 8/28/2010 9:17AM

    Love that positive attitude! You're right. I, too, have always dealt with adversity by rolling up my sleeves and throwing myself headlong into something or other! (Mind you, I'm not so sure it would be yardwork or housework--probably more mental and exercise related.)

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JANEDOE12345 8/28/2010 9:07AM

    I am picturing a runner, crouched over the starting block. Ready, set, GO!

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STARLASUE 8/28/2010 7:13AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SHERYLDS 8/28/2010 3:17AM

    I think you have a great attitude considering everything your facing. Take control of what you can so you can handle the tough stuff with a better frame of mind. I'm keeping you both in my thoughts. Hang in there

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HIPPICHICK1 8/27/2010 10:25PM

    Wow. I am amazed at what you have accomplished and your new attitude. SUPER!!!!
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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/27/2010 10:15PM

    I love the way you think. I'm a planner too. And I crave physical activity.

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