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We live and learn.....

Saturday, June 16, 2012

(If anyone is wondering how I got in this position in the first place, it's in the intro and in the blogs. Regular readers - including this one - can't stand yet another recitation.)

So now I've got a 5000 square foot, 200 year old farmhouse that is totally clogged with Other People's Stuff - either people who have passed on to the other side or daughters who have passed on to Pittsburgh. Unfortunately, a lot of their Stuff is getting wet, because I really need a new roof. It's not good, lying in bed at night listening to water dripping...in the hallway. Especially with plaster ceilings.

That and a bunch of other, ground-level repairs have taught me to address things whether I know much about them or not. I've discovered that a basic tool kit, a good DIY book (I like Reader's Digest) and a little common sense will get you a long way in home repair. It isn't brain surgery, and if it gets too icky, you can always call a repairman - except in my current experience, the only thing they have going for them that I lack is not having a stupid fear of spiders. (I don't mess with electricity - if you screw up plumbing, you won't drown in the night no matter how much the faucet leaks. Electricity, though....)

I've learned to mow the lawn *before* it gets to be a foot high. And I sprung for an electric start mower because I can never get the string-pulling kind to go. I've also figured out that one of the joys of living out in the country is that nobody gets after you if your lawn gets knee-high. In fact, instead of criticizing, they're liable to volunteer to mow for you.

I've learned that, just because I bought bread at the grocery every week for thirty years, now that I live alone, if I don't want to eat something, *I don't have to buy it*! If i don't think I should be eating something, all I have to do is skip purchasing it. Now, if I really want bread, I have to bake it. It's come to that a couple times, but not often. I belong to a CSA, so I have fresh vegetables coming in every week, and whatever I can't use I freeze for the winter. I get two big heads of lettuce right now, plus leaf spinach, so I'm eating a ton of salad. Yay!

No one checks to be sure there are no dirty dishes in the sink when I go to bed - and no one notices if I make that bed in the morning. Not that I'm turning into a horrible slob (I make the bed anyway, just because I like it that way) but I'm the only one who knows if I vacuum carefully, moving the furniture, or if I just do what my mother called "vacuuming up the big lumps."

I can handle the Other People's Stuff however I wish - and whenever I wish. I got rid of a ton of my husband's clothing a year ago, but I'm not ready to get rid of his Hawaiian shirts yet. Maybe next week, maybe never. Nobody's business but my own. In a perfect world, kids come home and deal with their own Stuff - in my world, they won't. I check with them before I jettison anything of theirs, but if they don't want it, it goes to the Salvation Army. I'm also learning that its better to give a lot of stuff to the Salvation Army (or whomever) than to try to sell it on eBay - sometimes that's the way to go, but it's time consuming and the profit isn't always worth the effort.

I don't especially care what I eat, and no one is going to fuss if the same thing is for dinner three or four nights in a row (a big crock of chili, or a turkey breast in all its various manifestations.)

If I'm the only one living here, I can decorate to suit myself, not the Better Homes and Gardens people that I always expected to show up at any moment. I can paint the walls the color I want, no matter how odd, and use the rooms for whatever purpose I see fit (family room is now art studio!) if there are people I feel would Judge Me, (and if I care), I simply don't invite them over.

In short, instead of being all lonesome and out of control, I'm learning that I can handle what absolutely needs to be done, delegate (as in hire someone) some things, and ignore the rest without guilt. I can do what *I* want to do, when I want to do it. I can get up at 3:00 a.m. to read or paint (and have done so, many times) without anyone giving me grief. I don't have to keep doing things in a certain way, just because I've "always done it that way."

I've also discovered that no one is standing over me watching what - or when - I eat or insisting that I exercise, so it's totally up to me whether or not I'm successful on this weight loss/health gain adventure.

All these things seem so obvious to someone outside the situation, but when it's you, it's different. I've had to learn to be my own therapist, housekeeper, gardener, home-repair person, decorator, mechanic, organizer, accountant, secretary/assistant and exercise buddy - and realize that if I don't do it, it won't get done - and maybe that's okay, too. It's been quite a revelation so far, and I'm still learning.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLORIDASUN 6/18/2012 10:46PM

    Aha...I have to say...from one Supa Woman to another one....you rock! I LOVE your little Ms. Independent spirit. I do most of the repair work around our house..I kid you not..the hubs with a screwdriver can be a VERY scary thing! emoticon

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HIPPICHICK1 6/17/2012 12:36PM

    Simply put, You ROCK!
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NORASPAT 6/16/2012 10:11PM

    Hey Scooter way to go for you. I love to hear about your independence. I love that you can live in the boondocks alone. I am alas a city girl and I have to be able to see street lights and people close by. I think that is why i do like Maine so much. There is a peaceful existence here most of the time. But it is not too quiet for my scaredy cat mind. My neighbors are close to me but not in my face and definitely not in the houses either side of me. I could never live in an apartment where I would here other peoples lives but I most definitely need people.
I tried to join a coop but they had their quota already. I had tried during he winter and waited since they were not sure of their produce and I did not pester them. When i did they had decided to stay with the organic eggs and meat. We had such poor weather I guess. I will try next year,earlier. HUGS Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 6/16/2012 10:08PM

    It's a big chunk of stuff to have to learn so quickly. I've been greatly successful in getting rid of much of my own stuff---giving it away is indeed better than trying to sell it---the now middle-aged children have left the basement crammed with various things that they claim to cherish. That urinal--it's found art. That life-sized Bart Simpson doll---it's pantheonistic!

You seem to have risen to all sorts of melancholy occasions with wit, wisdom, and fortitude. I'm serious here---you seem to have found the "secrets" that King Lear and Hamlet realized in Act V. And you've found them well before Act V. I am impressed. With all best wishes.

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REDWRITINGHOOD 6/16/2012 5:46PM

    I totally understand, although I do have the help of my 19 yr old son (who knows less than I do but is willing to get dirty and help me), and my dad (who shouldn't do too much but knows how to do almost EVERYTHING).

It's kinda freeing and scary to know that all that is up to you.

Try to enjoy it (((hugs)))

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VALERIEMAHA 6/16/2012 4:42PM

    I'm SO right there with you on ALL of it. Though I don't have the skills that you possess for basic (and not-so-basic) repair and remodeling (I KID THEE NOT...I've tried different projects over the years) I still subscribe to your basic philosophy with abandon and glee.

My solution is to consider relocating to South America where I can find help for those things that bamboozle me within the confines of my limited $$ resources. (Of course, that isn't the primary reason I'm considering this move, but it is a factor.)

YIPPEE! to organic AND local...the best, forget the rest.

And YES! to "The best thing I've found for memory is meditation - it seems to keep me from allowing my attention to scatter in other ways." This has scooted under my radar: "I've been playing that Lumosity thing - too soon to tell if there are any good brain changes, but it's fun - and fun is good medicine too." FUN is DEFINITELY GOOD MEDICINE!!!!!!

Let's see what the "next page" brings each of us!
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Comment edited on: 6/16/2012 4:47:00 PM

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SUZYMOBILE 6/16/2012 4:23PM

    I just plain love this! This is putting a positive spin on what could have been a big, long whine. I'd sure be whining if somebody wasn't rushing on over to fix my leaky roof. I might even be lookin' for a man, God help me!

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AUTUMNBRZ 6/16/2012 3:33PM

    emoticon

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Losing without trying?

Monday, May 28, 2012

I've been called on my meaning of this, making it sound so simple, so I'll try to explain. It's not "simple" so much as just where you put your head during the process.

Perhaps "not trying" gives the wrong impression. The thing I hate about dieting is the constant obsessing over every bite, labeling and tracking and planning and being constantly vigilant. Some people find comfort and stability in that, and I'm glad that works for them. For me, it hits the rebellion switch. I think in some ways it's the same dynamic as people who find comfort and stability in working for others, while I find that absolutely loathsome and would much rather succeed - or crash and burn - on my own than "do as I'm told", regular paycheck and benefits be damned.

For me, it's too much diddly@#$% work, and all it really succeeds in doing is focusing my brain *constantly* on food, which isn't helpful or useful for me personally. What works for me is to decide, "This is what I shall be eating for breakfast - and no cream in the coffee." "I shall have a salad for lunch - largely greenery, with bits of interesting cheese, maybe a few dried fruits and nuts, with a splash of straight up aged balsamic, washed down with lots of water." "For dinner I shall have a nice piece of something, usually fish, with plenty of non-starchy vegetables (until corn comes in season, then all bets are off.)

Then I have a nightcap and go to bed before I get hungry again. I hit the ground running, because that is my basic nature, (at this time of year, between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m.) and have the dogs walked and most of the cooking done before 9:00 a.m., because that's how I was raised to operate in the summer.

If I can manage to lay off the alcoholic drinks and keep reasonably busy (which out here in the country is easy - there's always something that wants doing), then yes, the extra weight does tend to go away - not by next week, but over time. And since I weight myself about once every month, if that, I'm usually pleasantly surprised.

This week, I'm getting back to my old friend weight lifting. As always, the main problem in weight lifting, for me, is finding a place to put the weights that is visible enough to remind me, but not in a place where I continually fall over them. A large source of conflict with my late husband was his tendency to leave his 35 pound dummies lying around - I invariably tripped over them. I've also purchased a FitBit, which I would love to use but keep losing - I think a daily goal of 10,000 steps sound totally do-able and is the sort of thing I could incorporate into my "losing without trying" thing.

So I guess it's not really, "not trying", it's just doing what I need to do while putting my mental focus elsewhere. I habituate to things like meals and exercise routines relatively rapidly. I don't care too much what I eat as long as it's reasonably good and doesn't require much work - ditto exercise. If I have to have special togs and drive to a gym, it won't get done. If all ("all") I have to do is throw a thousand small bales of hay out a window, that I can accomplish, because that's just my life.

I don't know. I just try to live simply, the way my grandparents lived. I eat healthy but whatever I want as long as it's organic, in season, and raised by my neighbors, work hard at what needs doing, sleep the sleep of the righteous most nights, and try to leave the rest up to the good Lord (whichever Lord that is for you.). I say, "thank you" a lot, try to focus on what good things I can make happen in the future instead of the not-so-good ones that happened in the past.

If I lose weight, fabulous. If I don't, my conscience is still clear. Believe me, there are a lot worse things in life than being a little chubby.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_MIGHTYQUINN 6/11/2012 11:14PM

    I find this post very inspirational. (And I, too, have a rebellion switch, so that resonated for me.) Thank you for posting this!

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KRISLEEB 5/29/2012 6:59PM

    I couldn't agree more!!!

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NORASPAT 5/28/2012 9:53PM

    Thanks for thie insight SCOOTER. I do not really feel rebellious but i do do it my way. I have a bit of a scientific mind so i do not mind thinking of my food and exercise as parts of the experimant. I never get bored with it . Just maybe I have none of the heavy work I was used to doing. I am loving whacking these trees in the little yard we have.
I like your wisdom and your honesty. HUGS Pat in Maine emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 5/28/2012 8:27PM

    We agree on a lot of things. I hate being obsessed with dieting too and just want to live and have things fall into place. I used to be naturally thin and want to be that way again. I want to eat and exercise intuitively.

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SUZYMOBILE 5/28/2012 12:05PM

    Well, since I'm in the midst of a "gaining in spite of trying" trend, obviously all my anal logging and tracking isn't exactly working now, is it? I've even flirted with (just short of actually jumping whole hog into with both feet) eating whatever the hell I please. That usually means DRINKING whatever the hell I please, which is alarmingly easy to do while sitting at a tiki bar overlooking the water.

Hmm. I think I just pinpointed the source of the "gaining" trend.


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APPLEPIEAPPLE 5/28/2012 11:40AM

    I agree that sticking to someone else's diet is not mine. I try to select the best from what I find and work them into my life.

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JANEDOE12345 5/28/2012 10:00AM

    I am jealous. You seem to be able to prioritize unusually well. Your script might read "Set it and forget it." Your ease in developing routine is a blessing -- I need a squad of Valkyries to get me to stick to an exercise plan, and having a touch of OCD, as my therapist terms it, means my desire to be healthy is usually overridden by my obsession with food. Call me when you need a one-armed, pudgy, love-struck and spiritually arrogant hay-pitchin' b*itch. Got gin & tonic?

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BETHGILLIGAN 5/28/2012 8:35AM

    I can relate to this blog, for sure! What's with this rebellion I feel? I have tried to analyze this for years but cannot figure out what drives this in me. I'm typically a rule follower!!!! LOL Maybe I should follow your plan----just "be" but be aware of me and my needs. HMMMMM--something to think about. Have a great day!

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AUTUMNBRZ 5/28/2012 8:20AM

    I totally understand the mental rebellion when there are too many rules and restrictions. My brain goes there too. In fact a gf and I were talking yesterday and she said this weekend was a bad weekend to go on a "diet." I told her I wasn't on one. Diets imply something temporary and restrictive. I explained I am eating healthy and have been for months. What I did start doing yesterday was following a new meal plan, full of foods I was already eating. You know what? Yesterday I broke my healthy eating pattern, kinda went hog wild. The word diet triggered anarchy in my brain. lol I had already planned on splurging for dinner a little but I splurged quite a bit plus I had a soft pretzel and pop at Sam's club.

Anyway I feel you! You need to do whatever works for you! Big Hugs!

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HIPPICHICK1 5/28/2012 8:19AM

    Every time gardening season comes along that where I spend my time - in the mud...one way or another, eh? So I can certainly relate to the lots of hard work and eating what you raise or what your neighbours raise.
I love that you are doing things the "Scooter way." It's just as we should all do. Do it our own way.
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SLIMMERJESSE 5/28/2012 1:27AM

    I almost wrote a similar blog the other day as I'm always feeling rebellious about having to be so self-absorbed with all this healthy
stuff. You've read my mind once again.
Seems like the older I get, the more of a rebel
I am.

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CHANGING-TURTLE 5/28/2012 1:27AM

    I agree with you, if some one tells me what to eat (a diet) I rebel. I eat what I want to eat when I want to eat but I make wise choices from what I have learned here on Sparkpeople. And It seems to work. emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/28/2012 1:27:38 AM

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ROOTIHAUSMAN 5/28/2012 1:04AM

    How does the FitBit work? I appreciate your honesty. I agree with some of what you say. It is a constant reminder that I have to measure my portions because when I don't I gain back what I have already lost. Thank you for your honest words!

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Nothing succeeds like success

Friday, May 25, 2012

Who said that, anyway? I was thinking Yogi Berra, but that's pretty deep for him...maybe someone more along the lines of Napoleon, or maybe Robert Louis Stevenson...

Anyway, I've been trundling along, trying half-heartedly to lose a couple pounds, using the other half of my heart to get some sort of life going for myself. This week the "life" half did a dramatic sort of crash and burn (although, honestly, considering the kinds of people I had to deal with every day, I should be on my knees thanking God for this turn of events - I'm well out of that situation) but, oddly, the discovery that I'd lost a few pounds while I wasn't looking had a buoying effect on everything.

Despite continuous disasters (some of my own doing, some, like the real estate market, totally out of my hands), my weight loss has given me a feeling of, well, like i just might have some degree of control over my life. And that I'm not "doomed" to complete failure in anything I might try. Before, I'd try really hard and concentrate all my efforts on losing weight and lose maybe, *maybe* lose two pounds in a month (usually because I'd only do the program for a week, then wander off), and then throw in the dieting towel for another few months, thinking, "failfailfailfailfailfail." And that sense of failure was very pervasive, especially when other areas of my life weren't going so well - people dying, fortunes lost, businesses in bankruptcy, etc.

It's odd, because I honestly don't care all that much about my weight. I do care very much about my health, but I'm not here because of some beauty issue - once you're over fifty, if you think losing a few pounds will allow you to knock-'em-dead that way you did thirty years ago, well, you're probably kidding yourself. But maybe not - who am I to judge? Anyway, that's why you don't usually hear much from me on the topic of weight loss - I've been sort of "if it happens, great, if it doesn't, yeah well." about the whole deal.

Yet here's this 30 pound loss looking at me - that's close to half (or is half, depending up on how it feels when we get there) of the way to my goal. And that unrealized success is a gift that is having the effect of making me optimistic about the next phase of my life, whatever form it takes. Who'd a thunk that one, eh?

So now I feel like, if I could lose that weight without even paying all that much attention, what could I do if I laid down an actual program that lasted more than a few days or a week? That feeling of success, of, "Hey, you know, I think I can do this" carries over into other areas of life, too, I've just noticed.

More failure (and if you don't like my use of that term, insert one of your choosing) is just a reason to stay stuck in place, wistfully thinking, "If only...", but a little success promotes a whole different outlook on life. More resilient, more optimistic, more in control.

I'm a lousy cheerleader - that whole "We can do this!!!" always feels like the crowd at the final thirty seconds when the team is down fifteen points. Sure, it's theoretically possible we can do this, but not too likely. But now I'm starting to think, "You know, it's looking like we really *can* do this" and that's a great feeling.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_MIGHTYQUINN 6/11/2012 11:17PM

    I really love your writing.

Congrats on the loss, and please keep blogging!

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CEKER9 5/27/2012 9:35PM

    I love the web... I did a search and learned something new! What I found as the origins of Nothing succeeds like success... "This view was first put into print by Sir Arthur Helps, in Realmah, 1868:" who'd of known.

Thirty pounds is amazing... I trust the other half is easy! Now is time to build on your success with more success!
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JANEDOE12345 5/27/2012 8:29PM

    Gee, I wish I could just lose weight without trying. Never in my life have I been that lucky, busy, or distracted.

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BTW I agree with you about sex appeal -- as we age, it becomes more about the person and not so much the body beautiful. Of course, finding the person is the problem.



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MORTICIAADDAMS 5/27/2012 7:57PM

    It's good to see you losing weight. It certainly does make one feel better to see one area of our life going right. I could use that now too.

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NORASPAT 5/25/2012 5:28PM

    Good for you it sounds like an attitude change is in progress.
Once I lost a few pounds it felt ok but once I could walk fast and control my weak leg I was really getting close to becoming an optimist. Now I have decided I will be an optimist as long as I can.
I do have those days when pessimist thoughts come in to the old Noggin but I tell myself it is a state of mind most of the time.
I never used to ever look in the mirror, rarely smiled since there was always the gap where my teeth were knocked out. Now I am over it. I look in the mirror every morning, and I smile at my reflection. I wash my face with a favourite soap and that starts my day pretty well.

Ever since I saw your owl for the very first time and read about you, I knew there was a strong determined woman out there. Scooter you are great. Some bumps in the road but you manage to get over hills in the road and keep on going.
You are great my Spark friend I am happy for your accomplishments Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
YOU ARE ONE OF THE emoticon emoticon

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AUTUMNBRZ 5/25/2012 5:10PM

    emoticon

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JLPEASE 5/25/2012 2:45PM

    emoticon

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BETHGILLIGAN 5/25/2012 1:06PM

    I love your attitude---at a "certain" age it is about health and not sex appeal. Not sure I would want that anyway! LOL 30 pounds is great!!! Who cares how long as long as you're going in the right direction? Losing weight when you're not looking is an amazing feat. You have had many things happen in your life that were totally out of your control---you've had to go with it---you had no choice. I think you seem to be turning a corner here!! Ready to take control and make decisions!!! YAY for you!!! You are a strong woman--I have always admired that in you!!! Hugs!!

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APPLEPIEAPPLE 5/25/2012 11:05AM

    30 pounds lost is awsome! After all the stress you have had even more so. I tend to be optimistic but I also have my down days. But because of sparkpeople like you I can have a place to vent, cheer, and cry and together we can reach our goals. Thank!

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SLIMMERJESSE 5/25/2012 9:39AM

    I could have written this blog almost to a tee. Same experience with recent weight loss has given me a spark of hope and reminder
that failure isn't my middle name. Never
has been, so it has been a tough word to
say. Thanks for your posts. They help
me tremendously. I mentioned that I'd
thought about doing a storefront before.
One reason I know it wouldn't work for me
is that I have very little patience for the public these days. Not to mention that I don't like going to one place all day. But hey, what do I like? Still gotta find the answer to that. (smiling)

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SUZYMOBILE 5/25/2012 9:28AM

    I completely understand about little successes (or, in your case, a BIG one, 30 pounds) leading to a feeling of buoyancy and optimism. Hell, half a pound up or down does that for me!

I wonder if the lesson is that, when you've been through hell and back like you have the past couple of years (has it really been two years??), it takes time to (a) get your feet back under you, (b) make a little forward progress, (c) feel real optimism, and (d) the sky's the limit! (I know, I just made it sound like a self-actualization Rube Goldberg machine, but that's the way I think.)

Well, I, personally, think you're just great, strong, smart, and beautiful, and that all good things will come to you!

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Remember Roseanne Roseannadanna?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

She was a Gilda Radner character from Saturday Night Live in probably the late 1970s.

So, in brief (which is *such* a challenge for me), I opened a business on May 1st and closed it yesterday. It was doing reasonably well, and I was happy with the progress, but the woman who owns the building had some sort of stroke or something, a "neurological incident", a mental breakdown, I'm not sure of the details, but I and my tea pots are out the door until further notice. Knowing the various players in the decision to close, I'm not holding my breath.

I swear to you all, I've bounced back so many times I believe my generous a$$ must be made of rubber.

So now I have a new, more summer-y plan. I'm doing two (I think) weekly farmers' markets and a couple weekend shows, and selling online. I still have to get the etsy shop set up and maybe a personal shop website as well. If I can avoid being drawn and quartered by SP, I'll sneak the URLs in when I have them.

In the brief time I had a bricks and mortar storefront, I realized I'm not cut out for it any more, so all this is, in the long run, just as well. I don't do well being away from home eight or ten hours a day, five to seven days a week, if only because so much of what I do comes from the home and the farm. But that's not the only reason - I'm just not a stay-away-from-home kind of gal, I guess. I like it here with the fields and all the four-leggers, and I want my base to be here, not in some store miles away.

The weight thing is going well enough - I may even be under two bills by June 1st. This wasn't a goal until I realized it was a possibility, but I'll tell you, it has a certain appeal.

Oh, yes, Roseanne Roseannadanna. She wisely said, once a week:

"Well, Jane, it just goes to show you, it's always something--if it ain't one thing, it's another."

Happy holiday weekend to all my buddies out there. Have fun and stay safe.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 5/27/2012 7:50PM

    I'm sure it would have really been successful had your friend not gotten sick, Kind of disappointing to me but it sounds like it worked out best for you.

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KRISLEEB 5/26/2012 12:15AM

    sorry to hear about your business, but it sounds like it was a good thing!!! Congrats on getting back up & making a new plan!!

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CKAYT56 5/25/2012 9:24PM

    Oh, I loved Gilda Radner and her characters...especially Roseanne Roseannadanna! So glad to find this post!

The building you were in with your teapot business....for some reason....was not meant to be....yep, it's always something!

Char in MN

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HIPPICHICK1 5/24/2012 1:59PM

    Thank goodness for rubber!
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_UMAMI_ 5/23/2012 9:58PM

    Jane, here.

I can testify to Roseanne Roseannadanna's profound wisdom. Been getting the "somethin' " in spades.

But, to quote the recently-deceased Diva Queen: I will survive.
Or, as the radio speaketh to me the other day: I was born to be alive.
"It's good to be alive, it's good to be alive...."

Ok, no more 70's references.

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Keep on truckin'.

I see you more as the Linda Hamilton character in The Terminator 2. So, need to channel the 90's!





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NORASPAT 5/23/2012 9:44PM

    SCOOTER I am so glad you are back you seemed to be MIA for the last few weeks. I hear you I only opened my sewing room Bricks and mortar with rent to pay because I loved doing it. I only worked there fro 4 hours a day. I took work home to sit and un picxk seams and was home when my boys got out of school. I love being home too but i really would love to travel. DH is a real home body and being with him is TOP PRIORITY.
I hope the business goes well. Pat in Maine. HUGS Glad you will have more time for SP. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 5/23/2012 9:38PM

    I loved Gilda and really enjoy reading her quote when I visit your page. I have been
starting to sell online also. I've thought
of doing storefront stuff, but it's just not
me. Big hug.

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SUZYMOBILE 5/23/2012 9:20PM

    There are two Gilda Radner characters I end up quoting all the time--Roseanne and Emily Latela ("Never mind"), More often I'm Emily, because I'm often dead convinced that I'm right about something, go the the wall loudly in defense of it, and end up tilting at the wrong windmill. "Oh. emoticon Never mind."

I think you're right. If the tea business wasn't turning out to be really you, then it wasn't meant to be. This meditation site I go to suggested a meditation that goes something like, "Who am I? What do I love to do more than anything? How can I serve others with it?" You just put that in mind before meditating, and somehow it works. Or something.

And I hope I'm not bringing up a touchy subject, but what the hell. How are you sleeping? Better, I hope!

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BETHGILLIGAN 5/23/2012 8:51PM

    Loved her!!! Yes, it is always something! :( At least you learned something from the experience--brick and mortar, 9-5, miles from home is not really for you. Hopefully, this summer plan will be a success and you can get your sites set up to start building a customer base. You are strong, always have been. I've always admired that about you. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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Progress, but a question:

Monday, May 21, 2012

On television, we see commercials that proclaim, "I lost thirty pounds and went down six dress sizes!" Even if we ignore that sort of propaganda - and we should - I can honestly say that I lost thirty pounds (well, 29), and my dress size hasn't changed one bit. Yeah, I suppose my clothing is marginally looser, but not so's you'd really notice.

I could understand if I weighed 700 pounds and a thirty pound loss was only, what, two percent and change - okay, that would be hard to see. But I've lost close to forty percent of what I want to lose (I think - arithmetic was never my long suit) - it seems like I should look different...at least a little. And to add insult to injury, my feet have gotten *bigger*!

I tell ya, there's no justice in this life.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NORASPAT 5/23/2012 9:57PM

    Hi SCOOTER. I have lost very few pounds in the last year but I have gone fom size 22 to 20 then on a plateau but my clothes kept looking so baggy in the butt. I am buying large in stead of 1x and I am wearing size 16 with a belted waist and 14 in elastic waist in pants. HUGS Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon

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_UMAMI_ 5/21/2012 11:59PM

    GLASS HALF-FULL!!!
*****banging the gong******
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creepiest cheerleader ever!

Really, celebrate your loss. (Or, if it doesn't make you happy, what's a better way to measure your results? Fave old outfit? Fave NEW outfit? Figure out what's a good carrot!)


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CEKER9 5/21/2012 11:23PM

    Each body is different and we should NEVER compare our results to anyone elses... my first reaction when I see those advertisements is "liar, liar, pants on fire!"

If you are anything like me you gain weight evenly from head to toe. Some people only gain weight in their waist and thighs. For me when I lose weight, I don't go into a smaller size very quickly as I don't lose it in any one place. It's also bone structure. I have weighted 130 pound (5'7") and the smallest size I was EVER able to get into was a 10 and that was a *very* expensive brand. I have larger bones than some people. Your body is still shifting into shape and even if you are in maintenance mode at this point you will continue to adjust in shape...

You celebrate you! and you celebrate your milestones and don't think about anyone elses!!! You melted 30 pounds off your frame and you should celebrate with balloons, confetti, and fire crackers... you are amazing to be that dedicated!!!

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HIPPICHICK1 5/21/2012 9:50PM

    In the beginning of my weight loss journey it took about 35 lbs lost before I moved down one size...mind you I was stuffing myself into size 20 jeans when I probably could have used a size 22. Another thing to consider is muscle vs. fat. I'm the same weight now that I was last August - 165 lbs (and yes my weight ticker on my page is a lie, but I was down to 162 a couple of weeks ago and somehow I found 3 lbs again and maybe it's all muscle LOL!!) BUT my body has completely changed due to sticking with my strength training since last November and I have gone down one size as a result too.
Add some strength training into your week and see if it makes a difference.
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ONEWEIGH 5/21/2012 9:36PM

    Several possibilities: 1. They're lying. 2. Size inflation (I have high end suit jacket that's a "size 4" when my shoulders are still decidedly a size 8.) 3. You have bones. My dress size has stayed a size 8 from 150 lbs to 115 lbs. My pant size, however, dropped from 8 to 2. The shoe size is the real mystery.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 5/21/2012 2:38PM

    I totally agree. I'm shocked at the people who weigh the same as I do and are proclaiming they are a size 6. LOL. My husband pointed out to me that they may have stuffed themselves into a size 6 but they look horrible. They looked like a stuffed sausage. My sister-in-law was one of these people. She would shove herself into smaller jeans and have a huge disgusting muffin top which she showed as she wore the short tops. It looked gross. My hubby almost gagged. People have different body types too. A lot of it has to do with where you carry your weight. There needs to be less emphasis on sizes and more on well-fitting clothes.

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BETHGILLIGAN 5/21/2012 2:19PM

    Wish I had an answer! I have gone through some phases where I went down a pants size but did not lose weight! Go figure!! How's the business going?

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RUSSELLORAMA 5/21/2012 1:09PM

    Sizes are so different from one clothing manufacturer to another so I'm never really sure what size I actually am, but my sizes haven't changed considerably either. When I started losing more inches than pounds, then I saw sizes dropping. But honestly, I've only gone down about three sizes and the scale's shown a pretty substantial loss.

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APPLEPIEAPPLE 5/21/2012 9:41AM

    yes, frustrating. Funny how our bodies seem to react to weight loss. You probably lost a lot of weight from around your organs which may be harder to see.

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SLIMMERJESSE 5/21/2012 8:45AM

    How frustrating! Hope all's going well for you, Scoot.

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SUZYMOBILE 5/21/2012 8:36AM

    What I note here, however, is that you LOST 30 POUNDS!! Woohoo!!

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SHERYLDS 5/21/2012 8:05AM

    I echo your feelings....but I know for me, it's stays around my belly,
so while my legs, my tushm and my arms are considerably leaner
My waist stubbornly stays.
But it's finally making progress.
For me it's the visceral thing

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