Monday, May 21, 2012
On television, we see commercials that proclaim, "I lost thirty pounds and went down six dress sizes!" Even if we ignore that sort of propaganda - and we should - I can honestly say that I lost thirty pounds (well, 29), and my dress size hasn't changed one bit. Yeah, I suppose my clothing is marginally looser, but not so's you'd really notice.
I could understand if I weighed 700 pounds and a thirty pound loss was only, what, two percent and change - okay, that would be hard to see. But I've lost close to forty percent of what I want to lose (I think - arithmetic was never my long suit) - it seems like I should look different...at least a little. And to add insult to injury, my feet have gotten *bigger*!
I tell ya, there's no justice in this life.
Monday, April 23, 2012
only a flesh wound!
No, seriously, I should be apologizing to those of you who are concerned. I'm not missing because I'm depressed or crazy or have given up on getting healthy or any of those reasons. I've been absent lately for three reasons:
1) I'm opening a new business in ten days. It finally came home to me that you don't have to do something you don't like to make a living. I'd been helping a friend with her florist shop since Christmas, and one thing led to another - now I'm opening a tea shop in about a third of her space. I'm not a restaurant (been there, done that, burned the t-shirt) but there'll always be a pot on for someone in need of a cuppa. I'm selling all things tea - pots and cups and my own line of bath products made with green tea and a few thousand other things. I am doing the tea party ( not Tea Party) thing in a small restaurant across the street, probably bimonthly (unless that means every two months - what I want is the word for every two weeks - fortnightly, perhaps) and doing catered teas at customers' homes. I just don't want to get into the whole NYS alphabet soup of regulations (OSHA, FDA, DEC [ I grow my own herbs} etc.)
I've been scouring eBay and my local antiques shops (and this is one of the antiques capitals of the east coast) for goods, putting together a website, pouring candles into mismatched teacups, trying to deal with at least an acre of Styrofoam packing peanuts (and keeping them out of the gullets of the resident four-leggers) and generally making myself crazy. But in its way, it's been great fun. Lots of bumps in the road, but by and large, a good thing.
2) I have 168 ...or something , I can never keep it straight ... acres, and I'm selling off a hundred or so acres to an Amish family (there's a burgeoning Amish population in my area.) The way I see it, they'll be ideal neighbors and we can help one another in all sorts of ways. There are all sorts of details that we need to straighten out so that we're all happy, but I think we're on the same page - money is secondary to a quiet, peaceful environment of mutual respect and support.
3) I've totally lost all of my circadian rhythms. A year ago - and for most of my life - I slept like a stone from the moment I went to bed until I got up, roughly 9:00 p.m. - 5:00 a.m. Now I can't go to sleep *at all* during the night - if I do, it's too early, like 8:00 p.m., and then I wake up at midnight and I'm up all night. My body and my brain seem to be on diametrically opposed schedules. My body wants to sleep at night, and my brain wants to sleep during the day. The net result is not pretty.
So that's why I haven't been around.
The shop opens May 1st. After that, Ill probably be concentrating more on bookwork and product development, which means less craziness. At least I hope so.
I have no idea what in the hell is going on with my sleep cycles. I could understand it in January, when there wasn't much daylight, and when I've been visiting with the kids, who keep ridiculous hours (remember being in your 20s?) This week I'm trying to strongarm my circadian rhythms back where they belong. I'm willing to take melatonin, valerian, chamomile and antihistamines. I'm not willing to take a prescription sleep aid, because frankly, I can totally see myself waking up in a hotel room in Boston, surrounded by empty take-out cartons and with a gigantic stuffed giraffe sitting on the bed. What do you want to bet there's something amiss in my amygdaloid nebula or my hypothalamus or something?)
Anyway, I'm happily plugging along, walking (or trying to walk ) 10,000 steps per day, eating a lot of vegetables and fruits (because I'm too lazy to go to the grocery) and generally just putting one foot in front of the other.
Love to you all.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Now, no one tell me I'm being defeatist, discouraging or anything else, because I'm not . Calling me tasteless is okay.
For further tasteless fun, check out my blog at http://mumsananarchist.livejournal.com where I've swiped a lovely diatribe on depression.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
1. I swore I'd start getting up at a decent (which in my world is 6:00ish) hour again instead of staying in bed until I either felt like or was forced into getting up, and I did. I was drinking my coffee by 6:15 this morning.
2. When I had an hour before a webinar this afternoon, instead of taking a nap or having a beer and reading the paper, I actually took the dog out for a walk (and subsequently was three minutes late, but we'll ignore that.)
3. I dug out, washed and put into use the seven day/four times a day pill holder and put all my vitamins in it - well, into the five days' worth I was able to find, anyway - and I took all of them at their allotted hours. B vitamins upset my tummy, but I'll get used to them again.
There were lots of things I didn't do right - I forgot there was a Master Gardener meeting tonight, and I blew off the DMV (again), among others - but at least these little bits are out of the way.
I'm busily trying to sort fantasy from reality in re: "Do what you love and the money will follow." So far, I don't have a lot of evidence for that, but I want to believe it, I really do. I suspect I just don't understand it properly, so I'm working on it. There has to be a way to earn a living doing something that one enjoys. I refuse to believe otherwise.
I know a lot of my Spark buddies are going through some heavy stuff right now, and all this is pretty minor in comparison. I admit that right up front. No one is going to die (even me) if I forget to take my vitamins.
My grandmother always said that the devil was in the details, though, and I have faith in that. If you tug some of the small things into alignment with what you want, how you want to live, I absolutely believe that the larger ones will naturally follow suit. Similarly, big plans can be sabotaged by inattention to small bits of it - that's why we have building inspectors at every step of construction. Well, I'm trying to construct a life I want to live. We've gotta start somewhere.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
I haven't been around much, I know. I haven't been paying much attention to eating, drinking and exercise because I've been really gearing down on the remodeling here. The ceiling is almost finished tiling (tried to wallpaper it in Lincrusta, but have you ever tried to wallpaper a ceiling by yourself? Don't.), the wallpaper is done. Next week, I'll be building bookcases, assuming I figure out how to get around the Problem of the Wainscoting. Meanwhile, every square foot of floor is covered in stacks of books. Oh, and the tiling of the tub and surround is going well, but halted for the moment because I ran out of adhesive.
I feel like I've gotten a certain amount of exercise, even if it wasn't planned. My thighs have gotten a workout daily from going up ladders backwards, carrying ten foot pieces of dripping paper and my right shoulder is pretty much toast. And speaking of toast, I've solved the carb intake problem - I don't buy bread any more. I figure if I want some badly enough, I'll be forced to bake it myself, and that'll serve as a deterrent - so far, it's working. Now if I could just figure out what to do about mayonnaise....
Yesterday I put together two years' worth of tax paperwork for my accountant, and I'll drop that off for him tomorrow. Poor guy. (Possibly poor me, too - we'll see.) My brain has pretty much turned to mush, but it's okay. I mean, how much brain do you need to push grout into the little spaces?
I remember why I started this blog! I found something! Let's start from a different place:
About two, maybe three years ago, I found a little orange ceramic .... thingee. It was about 1/4" long, vaguely pointy, obviously broken off something. I have a ton of different kinds of fake birds in the sunroom, so I did a quick inventory, figuring someone had lost a beak. Oddly, all beaks seemed to be intact. I put the Thingee aside, figuring a beakless bird would turn up at some point.
Just now I was looking for something else entirely and sort of zeroed in on the many faeries, elves, gnomes, and little things like that, that are spread around in this one china closet, sitting in tea cups and the like. I was admiring them and paying proper attention to the little creatures, when I noticed it: a missing elf ear! And the remaining one is orange! That Thingee wasn't a beak, it was an elf ear! Now if I can just remember where I put it, I can glue it back on! Last seen on the book shelf in the kitchen.....
(And if - horrors! - I remember giving up and throwing it out, I'll have a good excuse never to throw anything away for another twenty years.)
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