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Coincidences, synchronicities or plain old statistics?

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Today is the one year anniversary of my husband's death, and I'm on the way to the bank to deposit the check for the sale of my mother's house. There are many examples of this sort of thing in my family history:
- all the people in my immediate family were born on holidays (well, technically Alex missed by two hours, but she's always late for everything)
- my grandfather MacNeal's body was sent home on my grandmother's birthday
- my grandmother remarried many years later, and my husband and I got married on her and her second husband's anniversary (he was long gone, and we didn't know about the date)
- my cousin was born on my father's birthday - and I only had one set of aunt/uncle and one cousin.

I'm sure there are more that I'm not thinking of just now. Is this unusual? Do other people's families behave this way? Or is this just one of those you-only-need-13-people-in-a-room-before-t
wo-are-likely-to-have-the-same-birthday things?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 10/13/2011 6:59PM

    Please accept my condolences.

Price Albert died on a December 14th and then Queen Victoria's children started having grandchildren for her born---mostly--on December 14th. There are frenzied letters amongst them hoping that the interesting event will not occur on that accursed anniversary. I also believe that Prince "Eddy" (sometimes thought to be Jack the Ripper) died on December 14th.

But I really hope you do not think I make light of your woes. I'm just thinking of the role of significant coincidence in people's lives.

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LUNADRAGON 10/13/2011 6:15PM

    Well, October 5 is my birthday, and was my dad's. My dad also passed on October 5 a few years ago. This coincides with your loss as well, Karen.
I think these things happen, coincidences of the oddest nature, to show us life goes on. A life starts, another passes, and each day, and year pass too.
Hugs,
Deborah

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/7/2011 7:49PM

    It happens. I have the same thing. My mother in law, my maternal grandfather, and my paternal grandma all died on the same day. My cousin and my paternal grandpa died on the same day. My step grandma and aunt died on Mother's Day. My Uncle on Thanksgiving. Both of my grandfathers were born on Christmas Day. My maternal grandma and mom died at the exact same time.

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SUZYMOBILE 10/7/2011 8:43AM

    Ah, there are NO coincidences because we are all connected beneath the surface and are led along our path in life by unseen forces. And I kinda believe that. I've even read "The Celestine Prophecy" and believe it, too.

That said, we just found out from our neighbors last night that we live in the "Spring Lake" neighborhood of Port Charlotte. And we purchased our house here based largely on an inheritance from Bill's mom, who lived and died in SPRING LAKE, NJ. (Cue "Twilight Zone" music. emoticon ) Who knew? We just blundered into this area under the guidance of our godfatherly realtor.

Bill's mom and her former next-door-neighbor, Tom, a much younger man, died the same night. We could picture her at the pearly gates, saying, "Tommy, what are YOU doing here?"

Bill's cousin, Buffy's, father died during the holidays several years ago, and then they found out that her mother-in-law (who knew and loved Buffy's father) died suddenly the same night, at practically the same hour. Buffy and her husband were literally racing from wake to wake and funeral to funeral, because they lived in different states.

Bill's other cousin, Patty, was born in a remote place called Whitefish, Montana, with a population of, like, 5 or something. We later learned that my cousin Don's wife, Patty, was born in Whitefish, Montana.

I could go on but won't.

Comment edited on: 10/7/2011 10:53:35 AM

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APPLEPIEAPPLE 10/6/2011 12:31PM

    Sometimes yes. My husband his grandfather and my son all have their birthdays on the same day or within 2 days of one another. My relatives tend to die within 2 months of their birthdays. Which kind of makes sense. The day you are born begins your life cycle and odds are you will live xx amount of years which might be coming near your birthday. I also notice that who ever sleeps on the right side of the bed (using headboard with you laying in it so it is your left of right) anyway the right sider seems to die first. Odd.

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SLIMMERKIWI 10/6/2011 4:14AM

    That sort of thing happens in our family.

My grandfather died on my sister's 30th birthday
my great niece was born on my birthday
my great nephew was born on my sister's birthday
my brother-in-law's birthday was on the day of my Mother and father's Wedding Anniversary,
which just happened to be my grandparent's Wedding Anniversary
My FIL's funeral was on my BIL's birthday
I lost one of my jobs on the anniversary of my Dad's death
hubby's nephew was born on MIL's birthday, as was his niece
his niece was born on his Dad's birthday .........

and that is just for starters too!

It IS strange when you think about it - especially considering there are 365 days in a year (sometimes 366 :-)

Kris




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HIPPICHICK1 10/5/2011 10:00PM

    My sister and I both have boyfriends whose birthdays are the exact same date - July 3, 1962. Mine was born in Rochester, MN and her's was born in Italy. Figuring in the time difference, they were born about an hour apart. Weird, huh?

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BETHGILLIGAN 10/5/2011 2:35PM

    My son was born on my father in law's birthday. My daughter was born on Feb 1st, her daughter born on July 1st, and her son on Feb 2nd (don't know if that's a big deal but a little freaky to us!) My birthday is Dec 3rd, my husband's Dec 4th.

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DANCINGGARDENER 10/5/2011 1:55PM

    Coincidences happen most to people who notice coincidences. If you have the type of mind that notices the patterns the universe makes on your life, the universe appreciates the attention and gives you more of them.

Love you so, you little pattern recognizer, you.
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Sign for today - or any day

Friday, September 23, 2011

  
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DANCINGGARDENER 9/27/2011 4:46PM

    I come back, I look for you, I find you. This is an amazing day!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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W5VEOTX 9/24/2011 9:29AM

    Always excitement

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APPLEPIEAPPLE 9/24/2011 7:38AM

    emoticon

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SUZYMOBILE 9/23/2011 11:25AM

    Always good to be reminded of that!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/23/2011 10:07AM

    Great sign!! And I need to make some changes!

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HIPPICHICK1 9/23/2011 9:40AM

    Isn't that the beauty of humans? We are only the constructs of our minds and we can change our minds any time.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BETHGILLIGAN 9/23/2011 9:04AM

    Love it! thank you!!

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Clarification

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

While no one called me to task on this one, I feel like I should explain a bit, so here goes:

You know those people who, when you've launched into a lovely complaint about something, interrupt and say, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, *insert dreadful even here*." I've just never understood this. Why on earth should this make me feel better?

The same goes for theoretically being able to soothe oneself by remembering the trials of others. I know the old (very old - like 3000 years old) saying about someone having no shoes meeting a man who had no feet. Maybe it's that Scottish blood thing again, but the only response to this I like is by Steve Wright: "You got any shoes you're not using?"

The point of all this is that, while I appreciate the pain someone must be in because of his two broken legs, it really doesn't lessen the pain in my broken arm one whit.

I genuinely do realize that there are those whose trials make mine look like a stroll in the park. I know there are people who have lost their homes altogether, whether through foreclosure or weather or fire or whatever, who would feel that the tribulations of selling what amounts to an extra house would be one of the circles of heaven. I know that losing a mother at 86 and a husband after 26 years of marriage would sound like an incredible blessing to someone who's lost a child, a young husband, or numerous family members. I also realize that all this can truly be said to be just Life.

I try to keep and to use my sense of humor for lots of reasons, not the least of which is that it keeps me from looking at the world through misery-colored glasses. If my ranting and whining entertains someone, that makes my load a little lighter, too. I've kept me eyes and ears open for over fifty years (though at times you'd never have guessed it), and if some segment of my endless prattle helps someone figure out a piece of their own puzzle or lighten their load a bit, that helps both of us.

I know I have many, many blessings - too many to count - and high on the list are my Spark Friends.

(And Katrina, if you're reading this, you know you're darned near the top of the list even though you're not a Spark person.)

  
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DANCINGGARDENER 9/27/2011 5:13PM

    You are too amazing to put up with social bores. Next time someone tries to trump your pain, look straight down your nose at them and heave a sigh of eye-rolling disgust.

You may, if overwhelmed by the milk of human kindness, pity them for their lack of social graces. But for the most part avoid these people like the plague because I am certain the next time you get a head cold they will be the first ones to point out how lucky you are to have just a cold and not the plague like they once had!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/21/2011 5:07PM

    GF, you have done amazingly well yo hold up to what you have had to endure.

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HIPPICHICK1 9/20/2011 8:28PM

    No doubt there is suffering in the world. That is Life, as you said. All we can really do is try to live in the moment instead of in the past or the future, because all we truly have is now.
Sending lots of emoticon your way.
emoticon

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JANEDOE12345 9/20/2011 5:41PM

    .

Comment edited on: 9/20/2011 8:43:38 PM

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BETHGILLIGAN 9/20/2011 12:34PM

    Love this blog!! I have realized this about myself (providing an example of my misery to make the other person "feel better" or not feel like they're alone). I have been working on keeping my mouth shut. Not easy. These things just glide off the tongue. When I'm on the receiving end it does not make me feel better. It just makes my inner child whine "but this is about me!!!". Need to be a better listener--trying!!

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Good morning, fellow campers.

Monday, September 19, 2011

For me, as for so many, it's been quite a summer - weatherwise, moneywise, you name it and you can bet it pretty much sucked.

I've gained ten pounds, but I'm beginning to deal with that trend and reverse it.

The tenants who have basically been ....what's that term when people wall themselves up inside a castle and just stay there til the warriors outside get bored and wander off?....well, anyway, they were evicted April 15th and and left *drum roll* last Monday, after trashing my mother's house pretty thoroughly. Plus it cost me $2000 to have their !@#$ - excuse me, their personal belongings - removed by bonded movers and stored in secure facilities. And before you ask me why I didn't just drag it all out on the front lawn and set fire to it, the answer is: that's the way Pennsylvania does things.

A word to the wise: the situation you do not want, under any circumstances, is to have your house rented to a lawyer, being sold to another lawyer, and the whole shootin' match overseen by your own lawyer. Flurries of threats and filings and appeals and protests and what all - it'll be several years before I'm out of all this. Plus the poor real estate agent (the only person who wanted to sell my house as much as I did, I think) is in the legal swamp with me. Circus, circus.

But I still managed to sell my mother's house, albeit for a little less than a third of what it was worth in 2008. But whining about that is like focusing on the fact that I used to be a size ten - it has absolutely nothing to do with today's size or real estate market. The settlement will be literally 72 hours before the bank forecloses on the farm, giving me just enough time to pay my overdue mortgage. "My Life as a Precision Instrument"

My husband has been dead now for almost a year and I finally figured out that what I still think of as normal *isn't coming back* - this living alone deal is the new normal.

Something else obvious I discovered is that depression feeds upon itself. You don't get out of bed - or off the sofa - because you don't want to, don't have the energy to clean up, eat and drink whatever because you can reach it from the sofa (true, all true), let the library books all go overdue and the cars go uninspected. Then one day you look around and you have $100 worth of library fines, four tickets for uninspected vehicles (two because technically they were also uninsured, since I'd changed the insurance policy to my name but not the titles and that's how NY works), a lawn that hasn't been mown since July, no clean clothing and no clean dishes, and the house looks exactly the way you're thinking it might. Ever watch Hoarders? Not quite that bad, but give me a few more weeks.

Had a friendship-changing argument with pretty much my only local friend over what amounts to personality differences. The immediate repercussion from that one is that I had to reschedule my colonoscopy so that my daughter can give me a ride to and from. Oy.

One of our dogs died (he was ancient, and it was truly just as well, but still.....) and was almost immediately "replaced" by one of the kittens of the resident barn cat. By and large, they hate and fear me, hissing and running when I come in to feed them (I know, I know), but this one came up to me, mewed and bit my nose when I bent over. What can you do? Several large vet bills later, the kitten still known only as Boy Cat has overturned the household, upset the other cats and now everyone is peeing all over the place in protest. *sigh* (NB: a product called, I believe, OdorKlenz, works very well.)

Anyway, (this is where discovering the obvious comes in) who *wouldn't* be depressed living like that?? So it's time to either shoot myself or get myself in hand, and since, given a choice between homicide and suicide, I'll pick homicide every time, the getting-self-in-hand thing wins. So, what's the first step?

I waxed my eyebrows.

Hey, ya gotta start somewhere. Now I'm going out into the world to try to straighten out a few things paperwork-related, then I'll come back and, instead of collapsing on the sofa and watching reruns of either Hauntings or Hoardings while lunching on Cheez Doodles and beer, I'll make myself a salad.

I'm sure there's more exciting and fun-filled stuff to report, but I have to get underway before I lose my momentum.

(I just read back over this piece and realized why I drink. Seriously, this is so out of hand. But despite all that, I have come up with a new plan - making plans, no matter how unrealistic, saves me every time - which I will tell you sometime soon. I couldn't let you all go on such a cynical note. There is Hope - and I promise I won't use phrases like "things with feathers" or "springing eternal" when I tell you about it.)


  
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DANCINGGARDENER 9/27/2011 5:02PM

    Thank you so much for crawling off the couch... I have missed you so!

Congrats on getting rid of your damnable tenants and their nasty things. Congrats on getting rid of your mom's house. Good job on saving the farm in the nick of time. Good job on rescheduling your colonoscopy (not just canceling it). Good job on only gaining 10 pounds. And Congrats on getting on top of them.

Life sucks... seriously sucks. But that's not the normal part. Being on your own and powerful and autonomous, ruler of all she surveys - THAT's the new "normal". Lord over your cats with a firm hand. Consider yourself benevolent for not murdering anyone. And exercise your lovely body... it deserves a good sweat.

Oh, and there's nothing like a "10 minute face lift" (eyebrow waxing) to make the universe look a little less hostile.

(on to your next blog)

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/21/2011 5:04PM

    I can relate, GF. It was the year of no summer for us. Most of spring was shot too and now fall as well. The weather sucked, we are broke, my MIL and a pet died. And I gained weight. No surprise there with this kind of stress. We had to clean my MIL's huge house out with no help - just a couple of prickish BIL's griping and offering unsolicited advice.

Illinois has the same horrible laws now. My family was in the rental business and we got out years ago. I have no desire to provide a free place to live for some worthless scumbags and that is often what you get.

We can't even sell my MIL's house yet as we have special needs relative to tend to first. Like you said.....................lawyers...
...........I am wanting to be done with them for a while.

I am so sorry that life has been so hard for you. You have lost way too much and had way too much stress. It isn't fair at all.

I'm working on a hoarders episode here as well.

I'm sure my eyebrows could use some work too.

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_UMAMI_ 9/20/2011 1:15PM

    I've been really depressed, too, and agree that depression feeds upon itself. Sparking is the only thing that keeps me treading water the past few months. Still no shore in sight, but my head is above water!

Even on my worst days, if I eat ok and get in some exercise (and fresh air), I feel SO MUCH BETTER.

Nice to see you back. Wishing you fortitude, momentum and all that good stuff.

Oh, and I would totally have a beer and watch Hoarders with you!


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SLIMMERKIWI 9/20/2011 2:31AM

    I am glad that you are back. You WERE missed! I really enjoyed the fact that altho' you have had life's trials of hell thrown at you, you still show a remarkable sense of humour. AND as far as the kitten biting you on the nose - I would have done the same back...... and THEN taken it home - LOL!

Kris xx

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EMRANA 9/19/2011 6:40PM

  Wow, you've had a lot of challenges this summer! Now that the season is shifting, so can your circumstances and outlook. Good for you for waxing and making a salad! You're right, gotta start somewhere!

I have to say that I have clinical depression too, and you painted a very realistic picture. You're a talented writer.

I really missed you while you were away. Glad to see you back here again.

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BILL60 9/19/2011 5:40PM

    What about the fitness and nutrition? Did that also go into the proverbial toilet?


bill

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HIPPICHICK1 9/19/2011 5:08PM

    It's nice to read your blog again. Even though you are depressed you still have your sense of humour. Sending you some long distance emoticon and good vibes on the getting off the couch and eating salad front
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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APPLEPIEAPPLE 9/19/2011 4:39PM

    I am surprised by how much your life sounds like what I went through the past 10 years. My husband died ten years ago and I am just getting used to living alone, my best friend my dog died 2 years later she was 12 which was old for a large dog. We rented our old house in WV and after some lawyer nightmares after my husband died I finally got it sold as well. The stress of the past few years also added the pounds but they are now very slowly coming off. Keep in touch. We may have much to share.

Comment edited on: 9/19/2011 4:40:16 PM

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SUZYMOBILE 9/19/2011 1:41PM

    Ya gotta start somewhere, indeed! I've had so much turmoil in my life over the past year, too, that I decided I HAD to cling to my Spark routines. Believe it or not, that worked for me. Plus I had Bill, and I don't underestimate the empowerment of not being alone!

I wish you could get a job writing a column for a local paper, or publish your blog as a book, or something! You sure can write, lady.

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JOLINEMR 9/19/2011 1:33PM

    All the comfort I can offer is "this too shall pass" (at least I hope so, as I've had a rather difficult summer as well and keep comforting myself with that thought). Just keep on doing what you can and eventually it will work out.

Best wishes... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BETHGILLIGAN 9/19/2011 1:13PM

    I am soooo glad you're back!! I have so missed you!! It sounds like you've really had a rough time of it (and I thought MY summer was bad! LOL). You have a plan and I know you are a determined woman so GET ON WITH IT!!! Pull yourself together and take one baby step at a time. emoticon

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Chapter 11, wherein Our Heroine makes a few decisions.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

(Beware: this one is going to be long - and also over at mumsananarchist.livejournal.com)


For those of us raised either as or by Depression era babies, it's hard to get rid of things. I don't mean like those poor folks in the tv show Hoarders, but we tend to hang onto Stuff, I think, just "in case we might need it one day." For me, as a mixed media artist, it is particularly difficult. Hey, I might need that single butterfly wing one day, for real!

The hardest part for me, since both my kids are grown, my mother died and I'm widowed, has been to figure out, reasonably, rationally and logically, just who the hell I am. I'm not someone's daughter, I'm not someone's wife, I'm not someone's mother (well, I am, but it's different when they're 20+), I don't seem to own any businesses anymore, nor work for anyone else. I'[m not writing for money either right now, or designing or anything else I've ever done for income.

I'm exceedingly lucky in that, even though money is tight, I have my mother's house to sell (if you need a house in suburban Philadelphia, let me know - I've got a nice ranch house you might like...)l, which will pay off this one and leave me enough left over to think about things for a few months. Granted, it's only worth 60% of what it was two years ago, but it's still money, and I could use some of that.

I'm slowly becoming part of the farming community here, which is a genuinely new experience for me. I'd realized years ago that people out here tend to leave one another alone unless there's trouble, then they all show up to help one another, but I hadn't realized the extent to which this is true. People that I barely knew, people that knew my husband slightly, have all stepped up to bat, not by bringing funeral pies and then forgetting about me (which is how I was raised) but by showing up with suggestions and manpower and hay contracts and machines and wood and tow trucks and IDEAS - and the scope of that has just been astounding to me. This is particularly true as this is an area in which women are not viewed as damsels in distress - most of the women around here could easily have written the famous Harriet Tubman speech themselves.

SO, the thing that ties these apparently disparate paragraphs together is that I've realized I don't need to hold onto everything. I don't need a big tractor (I have a little one that I use for everything, plus lots of things to attach to it for various purposes), I don't need to keep it "in case I want to do something that calls for a big tractor." I can hire a neighbor to plow or whatever. In twelve years we'd given exactly two hayrides. I don't need to keep three hay wagons in case I want to give a hay ride. I can borrow one from my neighbor to the west. I'm never (God help me, NEVER) going to make small square bales of hay again - it's an incredibly labor intensive job and probably one of the reasons farm families had twelve children - so why am I not selling the baler? Because I might need it some day?

I'm keeping the things that are so ancient and rusted that they're only worth their scrap weight, because I'm learning to weld and I honestly may want some parts off them (mixed media artist graduates to cutting metal with fire - what's not to love about that?) I'm selling the rest, because sentimentality be damned, this stuff is worth actual money (maybe twenty thousand altogether?), the chances of my actually needing it ever, let alone before it disintegrates, are minimal, and if by chance I do need one whatever, I can buy it *then*. I don't need to hang onto the one I have now, "just in case."

So a few of my new farm community neighbors are going to help me get all this stuff together (half of it I barely can identify, let alone use), get it cleaned up and moved to a good spot on another road, and sell it for me, answering all those questions I wouldn't have a clue about. Sure, of course, I'll give them some money for doing it, but not nearly enough to cover the hassles they'll experience doing this for me. They're doing it because they're good people, and they want to enable me to get on with my life instead of being stuck in a sea of Stuff, miserable and confused.

Not only that, but I have half a dozen phone numbers I can call day or night, in case two dogs and a shotgun aren't enough, in case I need a woman's shoulder to cry on or a man who knows his way around a wood furnace that's four degrees short of boiling.

We get a lot of opportunities in life to interpret any way we wish. We can bemoan our fate and grow bitter and sad, and there's a certain self-righteous appeal in that, or we can draw ourselves up tall and see the good all around us, people and circumstances willing to help if we'll let them. It's been hard for me to opt to go with the good - artists are *supposed* to suffer, right? ... and smart people are totally self-sufficient - but I'm learning. Baby steps, baby. Baby steps.

PS - that blessed community of friends includes you guys right here on SP. There were times I think I would have gone out of my mind without your kind words and sensible input.

  
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LUNADRAGON 7/2/2011 4:25PM

    I so identify with you as a mixed media artist and not wanting to get rid of even that one butterfly wing....
emoticon
Let your creative spirit build a new life into the "junk" and stuff, then show it and sell it.
You have some good ideas.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 6/24/2011 11:31PM

    I so related to this blog. I have trouble letting go of things too. But you have inspired me to do better. We have my MILs house to sell. And a lot of junk to get rid of.

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PENNYAN45 6/21/2011 8:08AM

    I had grandparents and aunts and uncles who were farmers in Ontario, Canada when I was a young child, and I spent lots of time staying with them.
I love farms - and the sense of community and cooperation there is between neighboring farmers.
It's been a very long time - but I enjoyed reading this blog and learning that the same farming spirit is alive and well.

Your new identity will appear amidst this supportive environment.
It is apparent that WRITER will be part of it.



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SUZYMOBILE 6/20/2011 12:22PM

    I love your step-up-to-the-plate, square-your-shoulders (but not all by your lonesome) attitude!

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BETHGILLIGAN 6/19/2011 1:56PM

    I love this!! You are a very wise woman! Allowing your neighbors the opportunity to help you is a true gift to them. You are in a win-win situation!! Getting rid of a lot of that stuff will help free your spirit, too! Now, I wish I could convince my husband how to let go of stuff! LOL

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EMRANA 6/19/2011 10:47AM

  This was such a wonderful blog to read! I can feel so much potential in your life at this moment!

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LONG35 6/19/2011 2:46AM

  And I'm with you Kris, I think about it, and talk about it, but the 'stuff' is still here. I'm getting ready to retire - need to get rid of a lot of 'stuff', but I just can't get motivated. I really liked what this lady had to say, she has a great attitude. Hope a little of it rubs off on me.
Fran

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SLIMMERKIWI 6/19/2011 12:28AM

    WOW - that is A LOT of good, common sense. I should take a leaf out of your book (for the stuff we don't need) but I procrastinate.

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_UMAMI_ 6/18/2011 11:43PM

    I really liked this blog. And I'm tired, so I can't leave anything wonderful to say. I'm the daughter of two Depression-era parents. My dad is frugal and has prepared well for his old age. My mom still shops as a hobby, and has multiples of any product she uses. In addition to a walk-in pantry and 2 fridges and an upright freezer for just the two of them. !!!! (Hmmmm...no wonder she's always viewed the Mormons so favorably!)

I, too, tend to hold on to too much, but I've learned from her example. She shops constantly and is always getting rid of crap! I've decided to make do, recycle, buy less, give away, etc.


ETA: Ladies, you are sooo lucky to have neighbors like that. We've had to call the cops on neighbors we suspect of hitting their kids, and someone has been stealing gas from DH's car for months. I'd give anything for that midwestern/NE silent "watching out for you"!
No, it's not entirely to my aesthetic tastes, but I feel like less of a carbon hog.

I love your neighbors! And I didn't know you were an artist. I've been a bad Spark Friend---I'm sorry.

I kind of lost my husband for a period of time, and I'm still catching up.

I thought this was a really positive blog, and sounds like you are totally moving in the right direction!

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Comment edited on: 6/18/2011 11:47:07 PM

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JANEDOE12345 6/18/2011 11:40PM

    Your neighbors sound like mine. This house is on a piece of the old dairy farms and many of the people on this hill are related. So my plowing neighbor can call his cousin to come save a car that slipped over the hump and missed the driveway, or Ed & his daughter come put the a/c in. They are discreet watchers-out-for-me, and I never really knew how much they watched out for kids when they were little. This hill had never had a single lady living alone and as the 31 years passed they came to respect and like me, but if a tree fell out back, they would saunter over to help without being patronizing.

It is encouraging and strengthening to be in a community where you are treated with respect and kindness. I don't think you get that in a city nowadays, altho my mom got a lot of neighbors' help for us kids in the 50's and 60's (but everyone knew my father's family and felt she got shafted in the divorce). I wouldn't walk alone in that same city now.

And of you moved here, Karen, I am sure the people on the hill would see that you had lots of terse Yankee hello's, and then if something happened, they would be there in a flash. I, personally, would bring you a pan of black bean brownies and some hosta. And a mango if I had one around. emoticon

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HIPPICHICK1 6/18/2011 10:55PM

    You have some good neighbours looking out for you. You're a lucky woman!
Suffering is a human condition whether we are artists or not.
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