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March 1st - that new beginning I've been going on about.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

February was rough in oh, so many ways, none of which are particularly interesting to the Spark Community at large, I'm sure. But you know I'm going to tell you about them anyway: no life insurance money for me, which will possibly involve lawyers, guns and money. Bereavement progressing normally, if there is such a thing - good days, bad days. Slow progress on getting things sorted out here at the house. Plenty - and by that I mean PLENTY - of snow. Lots of wood-burning furnace hassles. Complete disregard for diet, nutrition and exercise. In short, my usual February.

I slept really poorly last night - not sure why, although possibly because I was only awake for about eight hours yesterday, and seven of them were spent on the sofa - but instead of going back to bed this morning (we're up at 5:00 usually), I''s the new bit......I'm following through on my plan to try to pick up my life a bit.

I input my "breakfast"- coffee, a handful of mixed nuts and a bag of Butterfinger Snackerz - which shouldn't have been in the house in the first place - into the tracker and downloaded the apps to my phone. I weighed myself for the first time in a good six weeks (and now I know why I didn't want to do that emoticon

I have a package of fresh batteries for the Wii and I'm going to get that up and running again. I have a gym membership I'm either going to use or quit paying for (although, in my defense, I have a car that has to be repaired first so I can get to said gym) but meanwhile I'm going to exercise at home. Real exercise, not just toddling about with wood. I've located all my old exercise DVDs, and some that are on VHS - but naturally I still have a VHS player, since I never throw anything away - and I'm going to get all that functional again (or force my 23 year old daughter to do it for me, which sounds even better.) I *will* exercise, dammit. emoticon

Thank you to all who sent Goodies and kind thoughts and words during my absence. I would have responded if I were able, but I seem to have been in hiding, largely from myself, I suspect. (There are no good "hiding" emoticons.)

So, in short, I feel lousy, I look worse, my house is a disaster (I write that almost every time, don't I?), I'm broke and halve no plans for the future, but instead of having that force me back to bed, covers pulled over my head, I'm actually tackling things. I have learned that I can't overhaul my entire life in an afternoon, but I can clean out the refrigerator and buy some vegetables (and then actually consume them, instead of just storing them for a while and then tossing them out the door.) I can tidy up the living room. I can wash a few dishes by hand (dw is broken and I haven't felt like taking it apart..I'll get to it...) I can look for my other snowshoe.

emoticon I can make a fresh start.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    No life insurance? That's horrible!

I know you have been through a lot and will need a long time to recover.

We had a terrible winter too but ours is over.

I have not done very well with diet and exercise either.

Just take it a day at a time. You have a good plan. You are, in fact, pretty amazing, as I well know. You will make it.

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BETHGILLIGAN 3/1/2011 3:28PM

    I am thrilled to hear from you!! You have had a very tough year so take it easy on yourself. None of my business but I can't believe no life insurance for you!!! That is outrageous!!! Anyway, please, please, please keep posting!!! I am so glad you are ready to face the world again. Hey, we're all about baby steps!!!

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SLIMMERKIWI 3/1/2011 2:28PM

    It is great to hear from you again.

It sounds like the grief gave you a kick in the guts, but it also sounds like you are squaring off against it's negative effects now, eyeballing it and telling it where to go!


Kris xx

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CINDYC53 3/1/2011 2:09PM

    So good to hear from you! And yes, you CAN do this. Maybe just make a couple small, doable goals for each day...? And keep tracking. It really saves my butt. (I have to keep facing the truth, which I seem to need to do!)

And I love it that you spilled everything in this blog. We're all hugging you in spirit, cheering for you, feeling for you.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HIPPICHICK1 3/1/2011 8:57AM

    I still have a VCR too! LOL. We use it all of the time. Darned handy ye olde things.
Glad to hear you are back and determined. Wishing you all of the very best each and every day.

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SUZYMOBILE 3/1/2011 7:26AM

    It's so good to hear from you! I don't care whether you've gained 100 pounds, just that you're gradually taking action and starting to tackle what sound like an overwhelming number of things to deal with. One at a time is a way to go.

Having to sue for your life insurance!? That's just adding an unbelievable insult to unbelievable injury! OMG, don't get me started! Or do. Whatever the story is, I'm on your side.


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JANEDOE12345 3/1/2011 7:00AM

    Do whatever you want but just remember to keep telling us about it in detail.

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First Zumba class. OMG

Thursday, January 06, 2011

So we've had this membership to the local Y (well, 20 miles away, which where I live is local) for about two years now. My daughters went now and then and my husband went occasionally. I think I went swimming once or twice. We were on the just-grab-the-cash-from-the-account monthly payment plan, though, so it all just kept rolling along, even through the times when no one went for four or five months.

Both daughters are on a major get-fit-or-die-trying (I have no idea what all this hyphenization is about) kick, and have been going every day for cycling class or to lift or something, and today I was dragged, somewhat reluctantly, to Zumba class.

Bear in mind that I once taught both straight-up aerobics classes and step classes. However, that was twenty years and *cough* 60 pounds ago, and I was totally unprepared for what this Zumba business was about. I got the feet after awhile, but the arms totally elude me. Also, my Spanish is pretty much limited to dirty words taught to me by busboys and prep chefs, so about the only thing I understood in the music was "Vuvuzela!" and I'm not entirely sure about that.

Plus they tricked me. I thought the class was 45 minutes, but it was an hour instead...I kept waiting for the woman to stop, but it seemed like every time she came to a pause there'd be more shouts of "Vuvuzela!" and we'd start up again. I stayed in the back row, right corner, where I figured I could grapevine out the door if necessary, but Alex (daughter #2) wouldn't let me escape.

It was a lot harder than it looks, and I *definitely* got a workout.

Tomorrow there is no Zumba class. Instead, we're either doing some sort of cycling thing where they turn out the lights and blast Anthrax (the band, not the toxin) at you whilst you pedal furiously, or we're going to do something called NIA, which promises to, "blend mind and body with a combination of yoga, cardio and *insert something else I can't remember*."

It appears that I'm going to the Y every day. Yes, Every Day. (And I'm only allowed one adult beverage per day! *One!*) But not Saturday or Sunday - it's just too full of skinny 20-somethings in Spandex, and even I have my limits. Instead, maybe I'll do something useful-but-physically-demanding (there we go with the hyphens again) like split wood. Assuming I can still walk after all this healthiness.

Edited to include the following:

For those of you who may not know *cough*HIPPICHICK1*cough*, a vuvuzela is a large horn, blown interminably during the World Cup.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIRIRADHA 3/31/2011 10:42AM

    You have a cruel daughter.

I tried Zumba, I really did try. Just once. That was plenty.

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HARISHABAD 1/18/2011 12:21AM

    This blog is too funny, thanks for the chuckle...we might as well have a laugh whilst getting in shape! crack me up!! "...going out dancing without the bar bill..." LOL

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    Zumba! Zumba! Zumba! It's like going out dancing without the bar bill!

I do the Y at least 3 times a week now...
Tuesdays: WOW (women on weight)
Wednesdays: H2O bootcamp
Thursdays: Zumba!!!!

I am finding that I really like taking the classes at the Y... it is so easy just to hand over control, do what the instructor says, and leave having put in an hour of exercise. No will power needed. And I always push myself harder for an instructor than I do myself...

Hint: In zumba, when I get all lost and messed up, I have found that breaking out into a good old fashioned polka works for every zumba tune I've heard so far.

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LAGREBE 1/14/2011 9:35PM

    How funny! Love your blod! I can only do feet, too in Zumba. Did I try hands I would probably fall over!

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    Sounds like a very good workout and good for you. LOL. Vuvuzela!!!!! LOL.

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PENNYAN45 1/10/2011 11:35PM

    Salsa is the latest buzz these days. I bought a CD - and sometimes dance along with the instructor on the television.

You will definitely get a good workout from salsa! (Plus, you'll look pretty good, too.)

PS We need a new emoticon for dancing!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JRSWHIMSY 1/9/2011 11:41AM


Have fun!!!

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HIPPICHICK1 1/8/2011 1:38PM

    See? I told you it was dirty! Look at how horny that guy is!!

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HIPPICHICK1 1/8/2011 1:00PM

    Glad to hear that you're getting dragged to the "Y"!!
You have emoticon daughters.
You know, "Vuvuzela!" sounds pretty dirty to me!

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SUZYMOBILE 1/7/2011 10:15AM

    Cindy is so right! No matter how miserable I feel, a visit to Planet Fitness flips some kind of switch in my brain, and I feel on top of the world afterwards. Sometimes it's hard to remember that's going to be the outcome, though!

This was a hilarious blog to read! Good God, though, why are they invoking the name of those horrible buzzing South African horns in zumba class?

Maybe NIA is short for Not in Action?

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STARLASUE 1/7/2011 9:18AM

    emoticon LOL

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BETHGILLIGAN 1/7/2011 7:25AM

    Love this blog!!! It made me chuckle all the way through!! I love it that your daughters are pushing you to exercise. Eventually, you will feel better (or that's what they tell me!) Have a great weekend!

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YARELL 1/7/2011 6:53AM

    for gods sake.. is there calorie burning in laughing ones head off at a post?? If so I just got cardio.
I tried zumba, in the quiet and safety of my home...
akkkk, skinny, spandex wearing aliens telling me anyone can do it!
But I shall try again, just a diff one, turns out I grabbed wrong disc and was trying to start with an advanced workout, but I am not watching skinny, spandex alien... there has to be one by someone normal, without all the makeup and "fakeness", you all know what I mean.

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CINDYC53 1/6/2011 11:52PM

    Great blog! I enjoyed every sentence! And, it's great to know that you're doing this Y thing with your daughters and you're all getting fit together -
Exercise is such a fantastic natural anti-depressant... especially during the winter. And, it gives you a sense that you can control something - especially important for someone who has had a major loss. I know you know all this, but I'm writing it anyway!
Thinking of you. Happy New Year! You've embarked on a new adventure. (I'll be interested to hear your final verdict on Zumba. I've never taken one either!)
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WORKNPROGRESS27 1/6/2011 11:32PM

    You can do it!!! Who know's may end up living these class' emoticon

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Funny stuff

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I'm not particularly self-promoting, but because I *am* essentially lazy, instead of attempting to transpose my other blog to here, I'm just going to send you over there. No, it's not more of my tale of woe (except for the lead-in, which you may feel free to skip.) I found (courtesy of Daughter #1) a wonderfully warped blog, and blatantly swiped one of the entries.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    hilarious. I loved it!!

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BETHGILLIGAN 12/31/2010 11:23AM

    Thinking of you so I thought I would check in. Hope all is well. emoticon

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JRSWHIMSY 12/23/2010 1:18PM

    Just cruising through stuff real quick from work, so I'll save it and read it later :)

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SUZYMOBILE 12/22/2010 2:46PM

    Oh Jesus, so to speak! Now I need to know who's in the cast of characters. Are you the mom (I can see that, for sure)? Is your daughter the little playwright?

OMG, I laughed 'til I cried! Especially about the wise men.

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JANEDOE12345 12/22/2010 1:48PM

    Immediately bookmarked for further hilarious perusal.

Wishing you all the best in the new year,

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SLIMMERKIWI 12/22/2010 3:55AM

    haha - I had to send it on, too :-)

Kris xx

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SHERYLDS 12/21/2010 5:33PM

    I laughed so hard I cried. Thank you for sharing.

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Nudging the ticker and other signs of recovery

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Yes, folks, the weight ticker is actually beginning to move - in the preferred direction, even! I take only moderate credit for this, as a) I'm rather snowed in and b) my daughter has been suffering from a GI disturbance for the better part of a week, so simply to make life easier, I've been choosing not to cook and have eaten the sandwich here, the salad there, and been expending extra calories dealing with the "Snow-pocalypse.". Hopefully, I can keep making progress even after the daughter recovers and the snow stops... assuming it ever does.

In other news, I dreamt this morning in three vaguely connected dreams about needing to pick up lost articles - some clothing, some toys, some my grandmother's sterling - in various locations. Well, you don't have to hit *me* over the head with a metaphor! I understand, already. Get on with my life. And I'm trying to do just that.

My daughters and I have decided to celebrate Christmas at the younger one's apartment in Pittsburgh. We discussed this at length, and Alex (that's the Pittsburgh one) felt that Christmas at home would be just too painful, and I pretty much agreed. I couldn't even think about it properly. Now that the decision has been made, though, I feel like a weight has been lifted. Instead of all the usual traditional Christmas decorations here at the house, I'm going to try just silver, gold, white, Solstice-y greenery decorations rather than all the usual elves and stockings.

When we're in Pittsburgh, we'll have a different dinner than our traditional one and will spend part of the holiday helping out at the city's numerous soup kitchens. In my experience, nothing takes one out of oneself like helping someone else. And our pains and problems, as real and as difficult as they are to my daughters and me at the moment, are really just part of that big, mysterious experience of Life.

For anyone astrologically-minded, a reminder to finish up paperwork and the like before Mercury goes retrograde on Friday. That's what I intend to do the balance of today and probably a good deal of tomorrow - the paperwork I've been neglecting for two months because I felt I couldn't handle it. Part of me enjoys - worships, even - orderliness and efficient desk work, so it'll be good to get this box of papers off my table, everything paid up to date and all the fires if not put out, at least reduced to smouldering.

Off to shovel the deck so the dogs can go out. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

A10TIVTRTL 12/18/2010 9:52AM

    Scooter, you are on your way, scooting right along. I am continually amazed by the resilience and strength of women! Pittsburg sounds like a good idea for all of you.

I wasn't planning on decorating, as we have no money for gifts and the loss of our friend is pretty fresh - actually attending the memorial tomorrow, but I like the sound of your solstice decorations,so maybe I will do something like that, after all. I will at least get up and clean the house some. Is solstice more a time of beginnings or of balance? Thanks for the idea. And it's wonderful that your ticker is moving again. You rock, girl!

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SUZYMOBILE 12/12/2010 10:23PM

    What you say about getting out of yourself by getting involved in others is SO true. And I'm really happy to hear that you're thinking in that direction, celebrating differently, yet still doing things.

Say it ain't so about Mercury! We're having a hearing at court on the 22nd about finally putting an end to the obligations of my 11-year-old divorce! Well, at least the paperwork is done, LOL!

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SLIMMERKIWI 12/12/2010 2:08AM

    Your plan for Xmas is an excellent one. I am sure that you will enjoy it. I am also quite humbled that you are planning on helping out at the soup kitchens. You are truly a special person!

Congrat's on the weight ticker moving IN the right direction - LOL!

Take care,
Kris xx

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STARLASUE 12/9/2010 10:08AM

    Congrats on the ticker moving regardless of the motivations. Hope daughter feels better soon!

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JRSWHIMSY 12/8/2010 3:34PM

    I'm so glad the ticker is ticking again :o) I enjoy paperwork too - isn't that odd? Good thing I'm a secretary! *hugs*

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CINDYC53 12/8/2010 2:05PM

    "And our pains and problems, as real and as difficult as they are to my daughters and me at the moment, are really just part of that big, mysterious experience of Life."

Those are beautiful words. I was very moved by your writing... Your plans for the holidays sound perfect. How wonderful that you have your daughters to share these days with, and to lean on. And the soup kitchen sounds like a GREAT plan!

Glad to hear that the ticker is moving, too! That's always a morale booster! Thinking of you -
emoticon emoticon

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TRAINER_T 12/8/2010 12:51PM

    emoticonon making changes emoticon

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HIPPICHICK1 12/8/2010 12:41PM

    I'm glad to hear you have a plan in place for Xmas. Love the idea of helping out in soup kitchens. I did that for a week to pay off a traffic ticket as I didn't have the money for my infraction! It was a great experience.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/8/2010 12:34PM

    I hope you daughter feels better soon and that it stops snowing there. I hate snow.

Your Xmas plans sound great. I think they are an excellent idea under the circumstances.

I need to do some paper filing as well.

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BETHGILLIGAN 12/8/2010 12:26PM

    You sound so good!! You are slowly moving your life forward. I envy the weight loss!! (but not the GI stuff or the snow!) Good luck with the paperwork--I , too crave that orderliness!

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Difficult days

Saturday, December 04, 2010

I got through Halloween well enough, and Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh was actually pretty great, but this whole Christmas thing is getting to me. My mother died in the spring (two years ago) so by the holidays I was pretty well back on my feet, but this time it's really rough.

I'll be around, but I may not be my usual sparkling, witty li'l self this year. I'm working on it, though, so you never know.

Oh, and for anyone who was riveted to her computer, waiting to see if I colored my hair after all, the answer is ..... YES! Yes I did! It's back to its medium brown, and will soon have some highlights and a new cut. Now about that extra sixty or seventy pounds...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARLASUE 12/9/2010 10:06AM

    emoticon emoticon

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PENNYAN45 12/5/2010 7:19AM

    The holidays are bound to be difficult so soon after your loss.

Sending you warm wishes and comforting hugs.

emoticon emoticon

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    I can relate and completely understand. My heart goes out to you. Take it a day at a time. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CINDYC53 12/4/2010 5:54PM

    Thinking of you - I can well imagine that these ARE difficult days for you. I went through a very painful divorce 9 years ago, and that first Christmas was pretty awful. The good news is that every day brings you a little closer to more peaceful feelings. I'm happy to hear about your hair color! Keep treating yourself :) I hope you'll continue to check in with us. I'll be watching for your updates!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLIMMERKIWI 12/4/2010 5:51PM

    Just take the holiday season one day at a time, and work on THAT day. Big Hugsxx

Good one about the hair colour - any pic of it going up soon?

Take care,
Kris xx

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SUZYMOBILE 12/4/2010 5:32PM

    Of course this must be a rough time for you! Take it a day at a time, just like you've been doing. You know where to find us!

Oh, and post some photos of that new "do"! emoticon

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HIPPICHICK1 12/4/2010 5:29PM

    No doubt this is a tough year for you. Sending loving thoughts and cyber hugs your way.

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WONDERFUL2BME 12/4/2010 4:49PM

    Go Girl! I am so glad to hear that you are spiffin up yourself.

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BETHGILLIGAN 12/4/2010 3:07PM

    Hey! You are definitely entitled to some "down" days. You are doing amazing!! Glad to hear you colored your hair. Hope it makes you feel good about you!!! Good luck with the pounds!!! It will happen.

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