Friday, January 25, 2013
It's not often, but it happens.
Yesterday I actually went running/walking in the park while my daughter was at gymnastics. It was VERY cold and the sun had already set. Now there was plenty of lighting and my hubby was there, so no safety worries.
I am not one to do cold. It aggravates my neuropathy and a little cold feels like torture to my body. But I didn't let that stop me. I was determined not to miss my C25K session, even if it was freezing. I will admit right now, I have NEVER done anything short of a snowball fight outside in temperatures like that. While it was a little rough at first, once I got warmed up it was tolerable.
The only problem I had was that the cold aggravated my lungs and made me wheeze and cough some. I haven't had that problem the whole time I've been doing the C25K program, so I'm pretty sure it was from the cold. It was definitely uncomfortable and there were a few times I wondered if I'd be able to keep it up, but I pushed through and did my best time yet!
I have to admit that I'm not usually motivated enough to push through that level of uncomfortableness. I found myself wondering afterwards, who the heck am I? I didn't make excuses, I didn't look for a way out, I just did it. That is not like me, and I LIKE it! I like this feeling of exhaustion and accomplishment. I felt powerful over my own inner demons, and in the end that is exactly what I'm trying to accomplish with all this hard work.
It's not just about loosing weight, or becoming healthier. Don't get me wrong, those are great things; but the biggest thing I can accomplish for myself it to be able to talk back to that voice that tells me I can't do something, that I'm not worthy, special, beautiful, important... To be able to love myself and make me a priority.
So yes, it may sound conceited and self centered, but I am impressed with myself. And that's exactly where I need to be.