Monday, August 29, 2011
So middle school... That scared the ever loving crap out of me. I'll cop to it, I just haven't been excited about this. I don't love this age group to begin with, but this morning I woke up and made a concerted effort to step up and enjoy the experience.
I'm not entirely certain "enjoy" is the proper terminology. The hormones! The slamming of sh!t on the desks! Poking at stuff, gum snapping, etc. Here's the bright side. I am going to learn A LOT. This is definitely a new experience for me and I will take away a lot of knowledge and knowledge is power. I have friends who are middle school teachers and have been for a long time. I give them even more props than I gave them before. They are brave, brave people. And their patience is more than I ever attributed to them. My new heroes - middle school teachers.
So onto workout fun stuff. I started the Jamie Eason strength program last week - just modified. I didn't start the food as mom was here and I have to do cardio - which you're not supposed to do in phase one. So I think I'll be repeating this program immediately post marathon regardless. But for now, I'll do the modified. Only thing is, I think I'm going to start from the beginning (except start the food a day later, i.e. tomorrow), today. This way I can do the food properly too. I went grocery shopping today and got all of the goodies I'll need. I'm about to start cooking up the chicky for the next three days and prepping the foods I need for tomorrow. And get my school outfit together. I'm loving this night before shiza. It definitely helps!!! I took pics yesterday with measurements, hence the other reason I want to "start" today rather than last week, now that I'm actually going to try to follow the program a little more closely, i.e. the only modification is cardio versus cardio AND crappy eating hahahaha.
So we'll see how it rolls!
Off to make the chicky and the training calendar!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Well ladies and gentlemen, I have finally done it. I have added strength training back into my routine. I'm doing the LiveFit challenge created by Jamie Eason on bodybuiler.com (I think? You'd think I'd know by now!).
Last night I worked out until late. I did a quickie 15 minute run and then my ST for the day. I didn't get in the workout earlier (mom's here and we're totally re-doing my apt). One caveat - the LiveFit program requires no cardio during phase one (four weeks). I am training for a marathon. I can't not do cardio. But I figure the ST routine looks great, as does the eating plan (one with lots of protein for my poor body haha), so the cardio I do have to do is a-ok!
There's been the thought running through our heads that the boy might have told his parents (my landlords - yuck!) that my place was messy. There's a list of reasons why we think this, but either way, we do. So while I was working out, I thought about this and could I really have dated a man who'd be that petty? And the answer is yes, I could have because I wasn't me and let myself just go. So I worked out hard in response. I gave myself my all because I deserve it. And now I feel pretty d@mn good.
On the marathon front. I've been getting a little nervous. My time is nowhere near where it needs to be in order for me to finish the race. Between the flatout being slow (which I'm ok with!) and still working through the asthma troubles (I found out the hard way on a 4 hour run my inhaler runs out after 2 hours), I'm not where I wanted to be. But you know what? So what? If I don't finish, fine. I'll do another one (without a time limit) next year. I need to remember that the whole point of this exercise was not to finish, but to start. To train. To dedicate me to something for my health and to follow through. My mom never thought in a million years I'd never make it this far, most people didn't. Not because they don't love me, because they do, but because I've never followed through on a health commitment. So I'm not nervous anymore. Because I started. And I'm going to start and get as far as I can. If I finish, great. If I don't, great. Either way, I'm a winner.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
It has been the kind of week where I would have eaten my hands and feet if I could in the old days. Breaking up with the boy, seeing the boy (that was horrible yesterday), being told I owe over 11k, not being able to register, seeing my life flash before my eyes as a... something gross (I don't want to insult anybody by saying anything specific)...
I am down 3.4 pounds. With pizza last night. Might I happen to note that I ate at least half less than I used to? It was still a lot, but better! And I had one of those mini ice creams rather than one of the bigger ones. Small changes equal bigger changes.
I haven't been this much down in... a while. AND considering I gained a quick two in there somewhere, I think from the not sleeping since the eating wasn't too bad, I really lost 5.4 this week hahahahaha.
AND I got four hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. I have been sleeping for sh!t this past week and a half, maybe making two hours before I wake up and take forever to fall back to sleep, so this was great news.
AND I'm wearing shorts today. Ok, so I'm a little uncomfy in them, but I wanted to see how I did in public etc. We look for the worst reactions, and I'll admit, I looked for looks of disgust at my flabby thighs. But nope! No looks! I know, that sounds stupid to celebrate because I should stop looking in the first place, but you know... take the win people, take the win.
Oh and because I have the BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD, I was able to pay the 11k and register. She borrowed from her rainy day, if dad gets sick again, etc fund. I'll get the loans and pay her back, but at least now I got registered so all heya doesn't have to break loose. This is essentially her retirement and because she has that much faith in me... I'm lucky. And you all know I've always said that, but times like this just make me extra thankful.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Well, I typed this bad boy already, then the music randomly decided to turn on on this computer... and I'm filling in a shift at Curves. I shut this down right quick. No idea where the music came from .
Anyways, so in filling this shift, I have to wear clothes that are Curves related. So I put on my Curves t-shirt that was TIGHT almost exactly a year ago. Get this... it FITS!!! And in all the right places. We won't discuss how big my butt looks in these exercise pants... .
I've been consistently going down, down, down all week, so this is all just fantastic news!
More on life later...
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I'm in a mood this morning and just rambling. Part of it is to keep me from contacting the boy. I know, I know. I shouldn't and won't, but sometimes I just need a distraction from doing something. Don't read on if you don't want to hear break-up rambles lol.
So the last few days have been pretty solid. I've been good, I've eaten well, I've worked out (clearly haha). This morning I woke up kind of sad.
M's parents are my landlords. Yeah, crappy situation much? Only 11 months to go... Anyways, my dishwasher is broken and they're cheap, so they're bringing their other two sons over to look at it. She emailed me this morning and asked if this afternoon would be good.
It just made me sad. Sad that it isn't M doing it. Sad that I even have to look at their names. Just... sad. I do miss parts of him. The contact, the ability to tell wacked out stories and not have him run screaming, just that person.
And I'm letting myself be ok with this. It's ok to be sad, even if the person didn't treat me right. It's ok to feel sad at the loss. I felt stupid earlier, because I had this little bit of hope that maybe he'd come around, or come back, or do SOMETHING that shows that I ever mattered. I didn't feel stupid that I felt it, I felt stupid because I felt it about him. And then I stopped myself. No more negativity. It's ok to feel that way. I've known him for a long time, and dated him for a decent amount of time. So it's ok to have the little hopes that you KNOW are not going to happen. They'll slip away in time.
So yeah. I guess I'll go finish picking up. Dam*ed if they're going to go home and report back to him that my place looked like sh!t.
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