Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I gesture a lot when I talk. Take the enthusiasm you generally see in my writing and it definitely translates in person.
I'm hearing impaired, but don't sign. So I'm not sure if it's an innate thing or if I'm just that expressive.
Either way, sitting in class, my professor just looks at me and asks if I can try to not gesture when I talk, that it's too distracting - not to him of course, but probably to some people. Which was the biggest load of stuffin' handed to me on a platter, cause he wouldn't think of it unless he actually was.
I think I learned to be that expressive because back in the day I needed to hide behind being outgoing and whatnot, that if I had enough personality people wouldn't know I was different. I grew up in an upper middle class white town - I was the first kid with any kind of disability to go to my elementary school, so we're talking a noticeable difference even though I spoke normally and didn't have any extra help. And then the expressiveness just became a part of me.
It just makes me sad that I had that moment of total shaken self-confidence, especially at the hands of a stupid professor. All I know is I really didn't deserve that. So what if it's distracting? Don't look at me when I talk then, it's a class, I'm not going to notice.
I just needed to get that out.