Monday, June 13, 2011
So I went home this weekend for alumni weekend and, as predicted, had a bit of a falling down food-wise. There was the cheesecake fiasco at the ice breaker dance Friday night, and then the brie fiasco of Class of '71 Reunion. Good thing I had light lunches both nights! Despite those wee errors in judgment though, I'm still feeling pretty good!
Yesterday I managed to ignore the siren songs on Nutella, peanut butter, candy and ice cream calling from my sister's kitchen. I typically end up raiding her pantry/fridge in the night, since she has all of these delicious things I never keep in my house. I stayed strong though! I also took one of my nephews to the movies and got him nachos and didn't even eat ONE! Not even after he got tired of eating them halfway through. For me, the first bite is the end. It's all downhill from there.
Today, on my way back home, I started thinking about the froyo place on the train. I did very well last week and only went out for something sweet one time, and I want to keep it up! So I weighed my options: have froyo today when I wasn't even really hungry or seriously craving it, or wait to have it later this week on a beautiful day when I can enjoy it in the sunshine. I chose sunshine! Then I had to go grocery shopping. I had an apple before I left so I wasn't hungry as I shopped, but that didn't stop me from lingering by the cheese and ice cream. I tried to convince myself I could have a single serving of either and not house the four (or five, in the case of the cheese) servings in each package. I came to my senses and walked away.
I know I can do this.
Monday, June 06, 2011
So I went back to the yoga studio today for a de-stress class (which was great, by the way), and was having a food moment on my way. Th thing is, I brought a peach for a snack, and when I started eating the peach the pit split open and oh, lookit that... MOLD. Blech! So I only got about half a peach which had me hungry an hour before class. The studio is directly across the street from this cafe that has AMAZING frozen yogurt AND Cracklin' Oat Bran as a mix-in. I haven't had any in years because I thought the place closed but it just moved and anyway, ever since I discovered it was still around those little oat-y delicious squares have been dancing in my head. BUT, I made a goal to only have something sweet out once this week and I'm going home this weekend so I sorta want to save it. I headed up the street in search of something else. What did I spy but a grocery store! Feeling happy, I walked through the doors... directly into the bakery! What the sh*t is up with that?! (PS: SparkPeople doesn't allow swearing? Aren't we all grownups here?) I lingered over the snack cakes and bagels and rolls, and successfully tore myself away into produce! I ended up with just a (tasty, tasty) banana.
It doesn't end there though. On the way home from class, I pass TWO amazing froyo places. The one I talked about earlier and my most favorite one in the world. Since I had frozen yogurt on the brain, it was SO HARD to pass by both of those shops. As I walked out of the door of the studio though, I felt the craving come on so strong and I thought, "I am going to feel so much better about myself if I DON'T stop." And somehow, that was enough. I came home and had my salad and my pita and my frozen fruit bar and you know what? I feel much happier with myself.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
I've been on a salad kick lately for supper. I LOVE throwing a bunch of fruit and vegetables into a bowl and having at it. They're so filling and satisfying, yet have so few calories. I feel like I'm adding ingredients for a half hour and still the total is under 200 calories! I thought tonight's salad was really pretty. It had spinach (I always use spinach as a base), onion, green pepper, celery, shredded carrots, broccoli, cucumber, summer squash, tomato and strawberries with sesame-ginger dressing. I usually have a sandwich on the side and tonight was no exception. An egg scrambled with an egg white and onion, stuffed into a pita with tomato and guacamole. I used to add cheese also, but, true to my word, I didn't buy any more cheese at the market today. With the tasty onion and creamy guac though, I honestly didn't miss it.
What do you like for supper in the summer?
Saturday, June 04, 2011
So, I weighed myself today. One look at my tracker (if you've followed me at all) will tell you that the number was disappointing. Seriously. I have been trying SO HARD and denying myself SO MUCH and kicking my own ass all over the place and have GAINED THREE GD POUNDS.
Well, that's all I'm going to indulge in that line of thinking.
After I weighed myself and had my moment, I made a choice. Today is the day. A new start. I'm getting downright draconian on my own ass. My body has never known denial until this day. If starvation is what it takes, bring. it. on.
Now honestly, I'm going to continue eating obviously. But I'm taking this vegetable kick to a whole new level. I am cutting out dairy from my house. I'm going to avoid dairy as much as possible when I'm out (sometimes my only option on a menu is literally grilled cheese). We're talking salads, crudite, vegan cooking and a hard line on sweets. I am sick, SICK of feeling disgusted with myself every single day. I'm sick of feeling like a failure. I need to get control back over my own body and my own actions. I am the boss of me. And my fat ass and thighs and belly seem to have forgotten that. So, see ya fat ass... don't let the door hit ya.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
So like a month ago, I bought a ten class pass for yoga at a studio about a mile from my house. I realized the other day that I have eight weeks to get these ten classes in, so I figured I'd better start. Believe me when I say I was talking myself out of class tonight from the second I got home. It was supposed to rain... the class tomorrow sounds more appealing... I could just start next week....
I am so glad I bucked up and went tonight! I just didn't let myself think about it too much. As I thought, "It's supposed to rain," I checked the weather and saw it was supposed to be clear when the class was ending. As I thought, "The class tomorrow seems better," I changed into my workout clothes. And as I thought I'd may as well start next week, I went ahead and left the apartment. And then it was too late. I was en route. Too late to turn back now!
It was a great class. Just what I needed. Lots of stretching with a nice instructor. A bit of a challenge but not intimidating. I'm excited to go again!
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