Sunday, August 04, 2013
So I didn't do great yesterday. I mean I tracked the food, for the most part, but once I realized that I was over my calorie intake, I just stopped tracking. I tried not to eat a lot of extra, and I actually did pretty good not going as overboard as I would have in the past.
And this morning (Day 4) I was so tired I didn't even remember to measure out my cereal, and the bad habit of having seconds kicked in and halfway through I reminded myself, "Your supposed to be tracking this." So I'm confident that I close to my limit already today, and honestly I'm not that hungry anyway. We are BBQing chicken for supper so I'll pass on the potatoes and just have a salad with chicken, and no dressing, just the way I like it! And I'll pass on dessert.
One thing I did do, I stopped myself from mindlessly eating more cookies after lunch. I was very proud of that little accomplishment. So hopefully day 5 will pan out better. I know it will because I plan on planning out my day for tomorrow. I always find it harder to plan and stick to my days when my hubby is home from work because we'll go out, or he'll want to make the meal instead. So I just need to learn to still watch my portion sizes and make healthy choices when out and about.
Friday, May 03, 2013
I have no energy. No motivation. I feel like I have no Hope. I do know that I have depression, extra pounds on my frame and a negative outlook on life. Someday's I hate it, other days, I don't care. Isn't that awful? I think it is.
I was reading something last night...let me see if I can find the quote
"Being Fat Isn't Your Fault; Staying Fat is."
I picked up this book last night in a bargain bin for $5. It's called "This is Why You're Fat (and got to get thin forever), by Jackie Warner.
I actually like her no nonsense approach to health and weight loss. She doesn't just have a magic formula for losing weight. She walks you through most reasons while people are overweight and what causes them to stay that way. She's done a lot of research on health and fitness and just wholeness.
I like to be informed and know how food effects my body negatively, and she breaks it down and shows you just that. I have been leaning towards more of a whole foods approach of eating, and cutting out sugar completely. Which is exactly what she suggests doing anyway in her book. I also like that she has recommendations for exercise and how often to do them. What I like is she offers suggestions for people who don't have gym memberships or want to be outside. I'm going to read up more on the section on hormones and how to balance them, because I think my hormones are definitely out of whack, which leads to mood swings, cravings and exhaustion.
All that stuff to say, I am having a hard time lately, but I feel like this book has been a little glimmer of light and hope for my future. That's all. Nothing profound. I am trying to get in 10,000 steps a day, so that's a goal that I think I can reach. So I'm going to start with that, and also try to eat clean. That seems simple enough, right?
Saturday, April 13, 2013
I can feel it in the air. I always knew that something was going to change in my life before it actually happened. I don't anticipate that it's anything HUGE, like a move, or a baby, but who knows, it could be.
What I really think it is, is my mind. I feel like the gears in my mind regarding healthy eating and healthy lifestyle are finally starting to align. It's not that I don't still have cravings for junk food, because I do, every day. But I'm starting to connect the way I feel to the foods that I eat.
I used to wake up sore and stiff and my joints would always be achy. I used to always eat LOTS of sugar throughout the day. I'm not joking. I think I lived off of sweets and bread. And then I'd eat a salad and be like "Oh, I'm healthy, I eat salad and all my dark green veggies and colorful fruits and veggies." And then I'd run and hide and scarff down half a tub of ice cream. No joke.
I have slowly been cutting out sugar and wheat products, because those are the things that I lived off of, and I knew it wasn't good. So to be completely honest, I don't cut out wheat gluten all of the time. I just try to limit it to things that I bake. So I have in the past made our own bread from wheat that we grind ourselves, and that bread does not seem to bother me. My goal is to continue baking it, but it has been a little hectic so it hasn't gotten done, so I haven't been eating bread. Which is ok. I miss it, and I had a piece the other day, store bought, the healthy kind with flax seed, and I felt like crap right after, and had to run to the bathroom the rest of the day.
So all-in-all, I think I'm starting to lean towards what they call "Clean Eating." Which is pretty straight forward. I understand it as eating mostly fresh and local, when available, and as little processed foods as possible, and as little refined white sugar and white flour possible. Which is where my family is headed anyway. My husband and I like make our own sausage, and we've gotten some of the recipes down. He hunts in the fall and then we make venison sausage with the majority of that meat. Then sometimes we get ground beef and pork from local farmers that we know and make more.
We also enjoy gardening and have been able to produce a lot of produce that we either can or freeze. We do cheat and buy a small bag of sugar for tea and coffee. But on most days I'll just use milk or cream and no sugar in my coffee. Since we don't bake with it, or with flour for the most part, the baking that I do do is actually really healthy and I don't feel bad giving it to my kids. I've also found some good snack baking recipes that are gluten-free, like crackers.
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, I still like sweets, but I also like feeling well. And after two weeks of really trying to eat clean and say no to sugary sweets and bread, I actually feel well. And I've lost weight, without really trying. I'm hoping to keep it up and enjoy a sweet thing when I really need it. But I feel like I can control it now. And a victory that I had the other day was this: There was a tub of left over icing from my sons birthday cake, and I grabbed it to snack on while watching a movie. I had maybe two spoonfuls and then I put it away, because I was uninterested. Then today, I did the same thing, but had about 1 spoonful, and then I tossed it. It didn't satisfy like it used to. I actually just needed water believe it or not!
Anyway. I'm really excited, and I hope that you can be encouraged as well. I think it is just all about baby steps right? And we don't really see the progress that we've made until we are so far ahead of where we used to be.
Keep pushing on. Keep moving. Keep trying. Keep getting up every time you fall. You can do it, and I can too!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
So I fell away from SP for a while, but I didn't stop working out. But my eating went WAY off track once again.
I'm always reading that losing weight is %70 food and %30 exercise. I LOVE working out and I'm super self motivated. I started a 12 week program that helps you build muscle and as the program continues it starts to add cardio. I enjoy weight lifting far more than cardio so I decided to do this program.
But my eating, man my eating. It controls me so much. And I'm so tired of falling victim to it all the time. I'm tired of feeling powerless over it. I'm tired of walking into someone's house and having the feeling like I need to leave because I can't stop at 1 piece of cake. It's awful and I hate it. I can't even have one piece of chocolate candy without consuming the whole bag in secret later on. I'm tired of my clothes getting tighter and tighter and my belly getting bigger and bigger. I'm tired of how crappy I feel every day, the lack of energy, the mood swings, and the biggest thing...
I feel like I'm just getting through life...not living it.
I'm ready to live. I'm ready to start new again. And I will continue to start new as many times as I need to to get where I need and want to be. I want to remember this moment. I never want to feel this way again. I never want to see the scale say 222 ever, ever again. I'm tired of the big numbers, I'm tired of the big waist size. I'm just tired. I'm ready for energy and life.
And what better time to feel like beginning a new life on this blessed Easter weekend where Jesus has given us the opportunity for new life in Him! I feel renewed this Easter knowing that the Lord has given me a new life through his death and I am so grateful for that and the opportunity for grace and forgiveness.
I'm forgiving myself for being so lazy and selfish and having lack of self control. I'm so blessed that I have a gracious husband who loves me despite my size. I'm ready to throw off my old self and put on the new me. Confident, consistent, energetic, alive, joyful and disciplined!
I'm ready. Let's start this thing. Take it day by day, moment by moment. Daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals, yearly goals.
Daily goals for today
exercise for at least 10 minutes
journal for at least 5 min
ready my Bible for at least 5 min
clean out my microwave
Spend at least 30 min (broken throughout the week) teaching my son something
Lose 1 pound
Exercise 5 days for 30 min each day
Write a letter
Monthly goal for April
Lose 5 pounds
Write 2 letters
Introduce a new skill to my son
Get the house cleaned and de-cluttered
So there are some goals to get me started
Wish me luck, pray for me, join me, encourage me, call me out on something, walk with me on this journey.
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