Tuesday, December 02, 2014
Today I weighed more than I have in 5 years. My weight has held steady and now it isn't. My husband's mother had been in the hospital for two weeks and ended up in a nursing home last Monday. During this time, I have relived my mother's death 4 years ago and been upset more days than not. The scariest part of the gain is that I have stayed away from my usual triggers of sweets. Despite that, I weighed 204.8 last Wednesday. I didn't record it, hoping to lose by this week. This morning, I weighed 206.
I have consistently exercised throughout the stress. I've been writing daily for a writing challenge that I attempt each November. Now, I am in a panic. Obviously, what I am doing is not working.
Stress over my situation is getting to me.
Monday, November 03, 2014
On Halloween night back in 1974, I was at a friend's house eating from a large bowl of her children's candy and downing homemade rice krispie treats. The following day, I went to court and cried when I arrived back at my lonely rented house. At twenty-six, I was a divorced woman. At the time, I weighed forty-four pounds less than I weigh today. Although I looked good on the outside, the fact that I had no kids and was divorced made me as miserable as I've ever been in my life.
Flash forward to today. A chubby, retired, mother of six, grandmother to five.
If only I had been able to trust that my life would get better. A thought that I still struggle with at times, but that is getting easier through the years.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Three weeks ago I had gum surgery. For the first week, I allowed myself to eat ice cream every day. Normally, this is a special once-a-week treat during the summer. As I ate it every day, I felt afraid that I had broken the good habits that I had established.
Last week, I spent 7 days visiting my kids in Chicago. Although my gums were still healing from surgery, I stopped eating ice cream and continued to eat protein shakes, Greek yogurt and applesauce, and soups. The combination of not being at home and having to choose soft foods was challenging. Walking and climbing the stairs to their apartments was my exercise.
When I came home, I weighed what I had when I left despite eating out more and exercising in a different way. The best part was discovering that the choices I have learned to make to stay healthy stayed with me even under different circumstances.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
By using the tools on this site, I discovered that I now weigh within a couple of pounds of my weight in 2009. Back in 1997 when I weighed 283, I would never have believed that I could maintain nearly an 80-pound loss for five years. So, 204 it is. Nothing to brag about except that I have maintained for five years. I have struggled to stay under 204, going as low as 195 at times. In a perfect world, I would have met my goal by now. This is not a perfect world, but it is a world that I am proud to be in. Maybe the next 5 years will see a loss.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Yesterday I weighed what I had before my anniversary and birthday celebrations. It feels good to find out I can regain control after eating sweets and having wine. More importantly, my cousin and two friends reminded me that being home is good. After I leave my five kids who live in Chicago, I often feel sad that we're three hours apart. Today we're off to help with my daughter's kids. It's time for me to get over my fear of being alone with her son without her. He is 2 and a half months old and in daycare. If he can go all day, we should be okay while she runs some errands.
Get An Email Alert Each Time SARAWMS48 Posts