Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Ugh. Those last two pounds have returned. From 139.5 to 141.5 in one week. OK, I could just say it's water weight. Or body readjusting. Probably it is both of those. But it's also the box of Cheez-Its I ate over the weekend! Do I regret it? No. Well, maybe a bit! Did I need to blow off steam? Yes! so maybe it was worth it.
Note to self - time to get serious about dealing with stress in a different way.
1- Stress of writing about self
2- Stress of planning yearly hymns/fall choir repertoire
3- Stress of weather change from nice and cool to HOT again
4- Stress of having lost weight and fear that I will regain weight!
I just discovered on the weigh-in page that you can list your stress and energy level every day. At first this seemed excessive, but maybe not. If I can track this and see what the correlation is with food and fitness points, it might be helpful.
For now, I know I have let my water consumption slide the last few days, from 8 glasses to 4-5 a day. And instead of doing more energetic Leslie, I have been walking outdoors - because I haven't had much energy, and because it's hot, and because the days are getting shorter and soon it will be harder to walk at night. I've also had periodic difficulty sleeping so have had some 1 AM cereal/banana snacks.
I'm really trying to cut back my wine habit to 4 days a week.
As of today, I think I'll make that 3 days a week.
In the past I have always just let myself medicate my stress with food, excusing that habit by pitying myself. I think I won't do that any more.
55WALKER sent me some relaxation music and that makes me think, OK, let's try medication with music! Often this is not relaxing if it's vocal or choral music, my brain begins to work since that is my job. But I've just finished a book called An Equal Music which is about a string quartet and describes some quartet music so vividly that I really want to hear it. I think I'll listen to that.
I'll let you know how it goes!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Bonjour, dear spark friends, I missed you this weekend!
But the weeds are gone from my garden, and I have some new plants to put in, as soon as I can summon energy to dig some peat moss into the old dirt and move some old plants around. It will happen, sometime this week...
I have not been terribly good since I hit my weight loss goal. It all started with the Cheez-its...but they are gone now. I made them last for 3 whole days which isn't bad for me! The gardening WAS exercise, I am still sore actually...and I did walk 1.6 miles last night, after a day of running about, so I'm hoping to find that I haven't gained when I weigh on Wednesday.
I should be writing about myself and my life as a musician and a person of faith. I have promised to give a presentation on this in a month, and frankly it is traumatic, since I have never really talked about this to anyone. My journeys to being a professional musician, to being a believer and then a Catholic believer and musician, involve many twists and turns and detours and it is hard to think of conveying even part of the truth in an hour-long presentation.
But I woke up this AM with a title in my brain and a voice in my head, so now I am busily listening to and transcribing the voice. It is a bit scary.
This is not exactly a Panic Button Blog, but I will simply ask that you think good thoughts/pray good prayers for me to continue to hear what part of this journey I should share, and to have the discipline to continue and finish it. There is much else to be done, but this has been hanging over me for too long.
I heard an incredible recital yesterday by a 30-year-old dramatic mezzo whom I knew when she was an undergraduate. She is going to Germany to audition for opera companies, and I think she has an excellent chance of having a career. It brought my own singing (in recital and opera) back to me so forcefully. I am happy to have done it, not entirely sorry that I no longer have to experience the stressful part of doing it - but I miss communicating in that way. It was a bittersweet thing. And perhaps that is why this writing is a bit hard for me. Singing will be part of the presentation.
But the time is right and I will write. (Sorry, that was BAD!)
I will be back soon, hopefully still at 140 lbs., and ready to lose another 5...
Bless you all!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wow. I was going to wait until later to blog this but I just can't wait.
Goal attained - 139.5 today - 5 lbs. lost in August, nearly 15 lbs. lost since I started early in May!
BUT of course I am pressing on! It is so fun to be 139.5 that I'm going for 135, but at a slower pace - by the end of October will be fine by me. That allows me a few more calories per day and will give Body and Mind time to get used to this new weight.
I have been 135 before - for about a month, back in 2003! A dim memory.
OK, Praxis! Dean Anderson's article was wonderful (# 10 in Mind/Body series) & when I read it last night, it described my realization of the day - which could NEVER have happened without Sparkpeople.
Praxis (meaning practice) involves these 4 steps:
1. Observing your own actions and their effects
2. Analyzing what you observe
3. Strategizing an action plan
4. Taking action
That happened to me yesterday. As my stress level mounted (reading through new hymns to choose some to add this year, seeing that this will take longer than I thought/hoped, watching my time disappear), I felt STRONG desires to munch. Not too hard to analyze this...
but what to do?
I let myself munch a bit. It felt good. I got through another bunch of hymns. Dinner time - I decided I really needed a nice filling dinner to combat this munchie thing, so I had salmon, sweet corn, tomatoes.
Whammo! Calorie allowance all gone.
NO possibility of munch. Weigh-in tomorrow, not going to ruin it! The day before, I had held my evening snack down to 1/2 cup of cereal with 1/4 cup super skim. I CAN DO THIS AGAIN! Steps 3 & 4...
Did 2 Leslie miles and 12 minutes on the jog trampoline, took in the waist of another pair of jeans that I had bought a year ago - which finally LOOKED GREAT! Had a cup of watermelon for my bedtime snack.
And today, goal attained. You know, if the numbers had not gone, I'd have been fine, because I was so pleased that I had managed to detect a HUGE AWFUL syndrome (yeah, pretty obvious, but when you really SEE it, it helps you to act!) and take action to deal with it.
I have been putting off addressing my nighttime snacking -- well, since 2003 -- no, probably since birth...
And we haven't even gotten to the wine habit yet!
I am buying a Sparkpeople T-shirt to celebrate!
Monday, August 23, 2010
OK, it's been a busy day...raining...nearly 8:30 and cardio not done...and I ALWAYS watch The Closer at 9, and Rizzoli and Isles after that...what to do, what to do...
Dived into Leslie's classic mile and fast mile. Got it done by 9:03, did stretch and cooldown while watching. Ramped up the classic mile by adding lots of arm moves with 2 lb. weights. Ramped up the fast mile by doing the easy jog when Leslie was walk-walk-walking. YES!
But that was still only 26 minutes and my challenge says do 30. Hm.
Jog trampoline, while I finish watching Brenda make the short list for LAPD Chief!
AND probably thanks to John, I am just sure that I can do 10 minutes in succession. I've never done this before. Last time I tried it, I pooped out after 4 minutes. Could do it in 4-3-3 segments with rests in between. That was February, I believe!
BUT John says it's all mental. And I DID IT!
Now wondering, hm, could I actually run a mile?
And the other funny thing was, Maura Isles started this episode (set in Boston during the Marathon) wearing those crazy little Five Finger Vibram shoes that look like hobbit feet! I want those puppies! Has anyone tried running in them? She chickened out in the show....
OK, back to some well-earned recreation!
And NO snack tonight!
Monday, August 23, 2010
I'd almost forgotten this dress. It's been lurking in the back of the closet, probably since 2004 - eek! I wore it on a cruise to Canada, 3 months after breaking up with a guy I had dated for two years. The bodice was just a tad too big-looking at the time, even though I was not at my lowest weight...so even though I like the dress, I just sort of forgot about it.
Since 2004 I have taken a bit of a journey through and out of depression - not only about this relationship but also about my job, getting older, feeling that "nothing will ever change, this is it," and other such feelings and thoughts.
My first wake-up call was losing my breath to sing because I had gotten to be such a couch potato! So the day after Christmas in 2005 I joined a gym. The first time I got on the elliptical, I could only do 3 minutes, and at the end of that I was puffing and panting! So I started trying to get there as often as I could, doing elliptical, some weight training, and a series of floor stretches for cooldown. It took me about 2 years to begin to enjoy it!
Now I am going to skip, since the focus of this blog is going to be weight training. Somehow I got away from it after my trip to France in 2008 (a real highlight of my life!) but I started walking much more regularly and taking photos in my neighborhood. My pedometer replaced the gym, and I would use my cardioglide a couple times a week, which added some arms exercise. I didn't miss paying for the gym OR having to exercise next to some person coughing and sneezing who should have stayed home! But I did kind of miss the free weights.
Then when I discovered Leslie Sansone's DVDs, I found some that worked arms WHILE you were doing cardio! Oh fun! Especially fun since I used to do ballet and modern dance, years ago, and the arm/leg coordination was sometimes a challenge for me. It was easy to work this with Leslie and it really upped the cardio.
You're wondering, what about this bloody dress? OK! Well, the point is, when I tried on the dress yesterday, the bodice fit EXACTLY right and looked great. And I had not even been especially focusing on arms, and overall I weigh less than I did in 2004. An unexpected free gift that said to me, "You don't always have to max out to get results, sometimes they just creep in when you're not looking."
I needed that realization since I have had to learn to listen to my body and not push myself so hard on this journey to fitness and weight loss. In the beginning, I wanted results so badly that I had a little overwork/ do nothing cycle going. Not good. Now I have a "work smart" thing going which is not nearly as draining, which I hope I can maintain during the busiest time of my work year!
AND I've realized, "Golly, if that happened when I wasn't trying - suppose I got back to my weight routine more regularly?" So today, out came the 5 pound weights, and I am going to add them.
The DRESS is going to look even better!
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