Wednesday, January 25, 2012
(or..Is it wolf whistles & cat calls?)
Yes it is silly. But it's my silly, so it's ok. I miss being LOOKED at. I was exploring my new Spark Team and one of the post was Why do you want to lose weight? And one of my reasons is not being seen any more. I know that may be shallow, but it's true. When I was younger I used to get smiled at and a little flirt here and there by all different colors, ages, sizes, etc. Not any more. Sometimes I feel invisible. I DO still get a smile here and there but it's normally just a courtesy smile. It's not that, "I wish we weren't married so I could grab you smile." lol!
AND YES, I am married. AND YES I DO love my husband. I have no plans to run off with "Jose". BUT I do appreciate a good ogling from a passer by. I never realized I did until it didn't happen any more. 10 years and 60+ pounds really puts the invisibility cloak on. It used to gross me out when a greasy guy would walk by and be like, Hey baby. Now even the greasy guys walk right on by. lol!
OK, enough of that. That IS only a wee part of me and my journey towards being a hot momma. lol! IT IS all about honesty right? :)
I have been SO tired this week. I have NOT been sleeping well. I wonder if it's the whatever kind of infection I have. When I went to the Dr. last week my levels and functions were good but I had to go in again so they could do a full urine analysis because I have white blood cells and other fun stuff in there. It's probably just a bladder infection or UTI. I should probably know today, but I wonder if that could be having an effect on my sleep. I don't know, maybe I'm grasping at straws. All I know is, I'M TIRED! I have not been sleeping well. You're supposed to sleep better not worse if you eat right, exercise, get on a routine, etc., etc. but it's SO much worse.
Again, hopefully they will fix me so at least I can see if it is the infection or not. If it's not, I don't know. I'll.. I don't know. I'm too tired to think. lol!
I was going to also talk about the other topic in my new team forum, but I think I will wait a bit.. Until I wake up some more. :) Have a Good Morning!!! Off to rally the troops for another day!
Monday, January 23, 2012
LOL! I win the race! I am officially in the overweight zone and out of that dirty word "O" zone. I actually got there the morning after the contest started but I wanted a few days to pass just to make sure it wasn't just a fluke. SO now I get to be smirky! LOL! And of course after I weighed in this morning and my numbers went down again, my new theme song started playing in my head.. "I am the champion, I am the champion, No time for losers- Cause I am the champion - of the world!!!" (Yes I changed we to I but I'm allowed. It's MY theme song of the day)
I already got my prize yesterday. I bought the Wii Gold's Gym Dance Workout. I needed to add some more sweat and interest to my exercise. AND it worked. It really makes you work harder for your calories burned then Wii Fit Plus does. It's fun too. Some of the dance things were harder for my non rhythm feet to keep up with, but I especially liked the boxing part of it. That was fun and you feel it too.
I want to slowly build up a little bit of a variety. I'm not sure why, but I seem to do better with a game than I do a video. Somehow either I fell less alone, or more accountable because it's keeping up with your time and calories, but I do. We can't afford a gym membership right now so I'm going to make the most of what we can. (Or what I can sneak in every now and then.) Shhh! :)
I only have a little under 3 pounds left to get to my Feb. 12th goal. I don't want to get cocky though because I know how I can go a week or even two without losing even one pound. BUT I'm getting there!!
It's SO nice being excited instead of depressed about your weight! So nice. :)
I read a testimonial in a Flylady email (I normally hate getting the million a day but this one stuck out). I thought I would share a little bit of it with you.
It's was talking about how when we are losing weight and adopting an all around healthier lifestyle, or as Flylady likes to call it, getting rid of Body Clutter, we are also losing..
"Weight of depression
Weight of anger
Weight of perfectionism
Weight of fear
Weight of stress
Weight of anxiety
Weight of `not being good enough'
Weight of not being perfect"
I just loved that, because it is so true. Because to go through this journey successfully you need to not only lose the body weight but to also lose the weight of those things listed above. And it's nice to know that it is all part of the journey.. YOUR journey, MY journey. And even though Marc and I had a little race.. The big picture is not a race, it's a journey that you take in your own time.
TODAY I WILL drink my water!
TODAY I WILL sweat!
TODAY I WILL not lose control and over eat.
TODAY I WILL conquer my fears because...
"I am the champion, I am the champion, No time for losers- Cause I am the champion - of the world!!!"
"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character." – Theodore Roosevelt
Sunday, January 22, 2012
(I am so proud that I have been blogging straight for 21 days! Yay me!)
Today is Sunday. This morning we will go to Faith Formation and then church. We also go to my MIL's house on Sundays for lunch. I really hate to say this but, I don't look forward to this. She makes big meals with fried meats, mash potatoes and gravy, and a table full of desserts. And she's not even from the south. She also constantly asks, "Have you lost any weight? Has Marc lost any weight?" And for some reason when she asks, I take it negatively. There's no, "Wow, you look great. Did you lose weight?" It's always just, "Have you lost any weight yet? How much?" I KNOW I take things she says too personally a lot. A LOT. Actually most of the times we go over there I don't leave feeling good about myself. She's always talking about how big my SIL is and I think I may be bigger than she is. How Joey is too skinny, how Jacob needs to lose weight. Nothing is ever positive. I can't take it! Marc is a lucky boy that I put up with going over there EVERY Sunday. Sunday is supposed to be a Renew your Soul, Renew Your Spirit day, NOT a smash your spirit like a bug day.
I'm really going to try and walk in there today though with an open mind, and an open heart. I can do this. I'm also going to try and not get stuck there until 4pm. I need to get home so I can get my exercise in and a few chores done before tomorrow.
I want to have enough time to get everything done in time to have a Pretty Me Up time. :) I REALLY need to give myself a pedicure and manicure. My toes are awful! Who am I kidding, so are my finger nails. :) Maybe even a face mask? That would be fun! :)
I came down .2 pounds again this morning! I really need to step it up though if I'm going to meet my Feb 12th goal. I've been slacking a little here and there and letting in a few treats that should not have been allowed. I have been doing good though on drinking my water like a fish. I need to step up my exercise though. I KNOW I DO! I've been taking the easy road on that and just telling myself, well at least I got my 10-60 minutes in. I NEED to sweat! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS!
I wish I could just go to fat camp for a month. A food and exercise rehab maybe. Something out of this house, out of this town where you have people there watching you, pushing you until you get the hang of things.
BUT, stepping back into reality, I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS!
TODAY I WILL drink my water.
TODAY I WILL be mindful of what I put into my body and why.
TODAY I WILL put some effort into sweating.
TODAY I WILL DIG IN AND FIND PEACE WITHIN ME AND FIGHT TO KEEP IT THERE. I WILL NOT LET WORDS OF DISCOURAGEMENT AFFECT ME. I CHOOSE WHAT CAN HURT ME. ME. IT'S UP TO ME TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, AND TO MAKE IT HAPPEN IN A POSITIVE WAY.
TODAY I WILL let love get me through, love for myself and for my husband to put up with his mother. lol!
I CAN DO THIS!!
"Be wise in the use of time. The question in life is not how much time do we have. The question is what shall we do with it."
- Anna Robertson Brown, author
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