SOO embarressing!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I'm so embarressed I could cry!!! In fact, I'm fighting back tears...

I dunno what I was thinking. A couple weeks ago my 2 best friends (both crazy skinny and so cute) and I went out on a girls night. We went down to a local bar for some drinks and dancing. Bought a new shirt, thought I could possibly have a good looking, feel great night..

Well, I was wrong!!! Just recently saw the pictures the bar put up of that night.. :'-( My shirt came up and sat on top of my spare tire around my stomach, my face is swollen and pudgy as can be, my make-up terrible.......

I couldn't be more embarressed!!!! The fiance just got home from work and I feel like if I say one word the dam will break.. Ugh, I feel the most aweful I've ever felt....

... I can't even handle it, I just wanna cry......

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADZY86 3/31/2012 5:38PM

I'm so sorry this happened to you! I can't count the number of times i've been on a night out thinking I look pretty decent, and then someone posts pictures from the night on Facebook and I look a complete mess! Please use it as inspiration, to push you on even further. Look at those pictures when you feel like giving up, or you question why you are on this new journey, and it will give you that extra little bit of incentive. A picture is just a picture. I bet you FELT amazing that night and that's what really matters. The rest will take its time and get there in the end. Keep going, you can do it! Report Inappropriate Comment

IHEARTGEE 3/31/2012 12:05PM

Pictures like these are horrible. They can really ruin our day. It's certainly happened to me, when I think I think I look great, but then later, I see those photos and I just want to cry... But remember - you are not living life for the photographs. You are living life for you, and your friends, and family, and those you love. If you go through life constantly worrying about how you look in photos, you're not making the memories that matter ten times more. I know these things can be upsetting, but there's a reason people say that the camera adds ten pounds - because it does something that always manages to make you look worse than you actually do! You are beautiful, and this photo is just s stumbling block. Use it as a springboard instead. You can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do, and no photograph is going to tell you differently. Stay strong, Spark on, I know you can do it! Report Inappropriate Comment

MOMFAN 3/28/2012 6:23PM

A picture like that was my motivation to lose the weight. Use it for positive. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOSIS1998 3/27/2012 8:05PM

I know what you mean, my boss recently updated our website with pictures of the staff. I was excited to replace the old "fat" picture that was on there but when I got home that evening and looked at the site I was so dissappointed and discouraged. I did cry till my husband finally told me to go to bed and get some sleep. The next day I still wasn't happy about it but the picture really didn't look as bad as it did the night before. Prayer helped me to get a different perspective and I know my efforts are being rewarded. Hang in there and give all of yourself to God, He loves you just as you are! Keep working. Miriam Report Inappropriate Comment

Life's curve balls.

Saturday, March 03, 2012

So I was lucky enough to have a bit of money left over from my last couple paychecks. And I have to say I was very good with not spending it all on fast food like I normally do! Which is a major plus. I swear, when I was younger I never spent my money. If I got birthday money or any kind of money I held on to it for forever. Of course now I can't really safe very much of it since I insisted on growing up and living on my own. Which I love and when it comes to that stuff we are fine.

But for my "get skinny/healthy" journey I finally have been doing good with the foods I eat. I buy fresh fruit and take salad bowls to work. But the problem with eating healthy is it's hard to "stock up" on, which I am a fan of stocking up on anything and everything. But with eating healthy includes eating more fresh things and things that go bad fast. So I have to buy little bits at a time. So finally having money left over and not wasting it finally gave me the opportunity to be able to go to the store and get more strawberries or anything that I need for the week.

Unfortunatly with February being a short month comes a short pay period. Which means a smaller check.... Just enough to get my bills paid. But it doesn't leave much room for trips to the store... I hate to complain. My bills are paid, I know people have it much worse! It is just sucky that I finally got into a good routine and mixed in good healthy food choices and now once I run out it could be another 2 weeks before I have a chance to hit up the store.

So, we'll see how this goes.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 3/5/2012 7:58PM

At least there is only one February a year! Report Inappropriate Comment

CALILILYINC 3/4/2012 1:12AM

aw girl. I am sorry, I know how hard and expensive eating healthy is. Keep your head up though. If you need anything just let me know. You can always ask me for favors if you need ok :) love you girl! Report Inappropriate Comment

War with my pants..

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Ok so i'm really... Well, I dunno what I am, actually. I'm not mad, not sad... But anyways, so we finally got some new uniforms ordered for work. Unfortunatly I did have to go up a size.. Which I'm not mad about, I knew I had to. I've come to the realization is I have to be comfortable no matter what size I am so I was prepared to get the bigger size. But with these pants, the waist is really weird. The size and comfort in the legs and what not is perfect.. But the waist is really tight! Unfortunatly I carry all my fat in the belly (muffintop, spare tire) area. It's really annoying! And so these pants are just good enough to be able to button and wear but they rest right on the fattest part of my stomach! So they kinda dig into my fat a little bit.. It's really uncomfortable...

But like I said, I'm not upset about the bigger size. I was prepared to have to do that. And I guess it's my way of using it as motivation. I don't want to have to go up another size and I would love to feel accomplished and get some wiggle room in these while in the process of going down a whole size.

So yea, not really mad and surprisingly not discouraged. Just uncomfortable.

Here's to beating the war with my pants...

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 2/24/2012 5:01PM

Report Inappropriate Comment

IHEARTGEE 2/24/2012 1:09PM

I found this with my uniform at my last job - I'm fairly sure they're not well-manufacture clothes, so don't feel too bad about it! Just think about how, in the future, you'll be able to step out of them without even touching the zipper... You go, girl :D Report Inappropriate Comment

CALILILYINC 2/23/2012 11:21PM

I hear you on this girl. I hate when I go up a size and still feel uncomfortable. Here's to only going down from here!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

Need some helpful hints.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Ok so I am about to go on a big grocery shopping trip (we don't get to do these very often) and I'm excited cause I am hell bound on getting fruites and veggies and just healthy foods. I know not to get very many fresh stuff, just get enough to last a couple days cause they go bad fast. I'm guilty of buying fresh things and have them one or 2 days then not want them another day and before I know it they are gross. So I have started buying frozen berries for my smoothies that I like to make and I have just recently been told to freeze bananas also! I guess I've heard people do that but I just never really thought about it.

Another thing I was informed to do was to actually portion out my smoothie ingrediants. A co-worker said she likes to portion out the berries of whatever kinds of smoothies she likes then put them in the little sandwhich baggies (which by the way, the snack size ziplock baggies have become my best friend) that way it's easy to just grab a single serving baggie out of the freezer and all I have to do is dump the ingridents and add the liquids. She also told me that she pours the yogurt she uses into an ice cube tray and freezes it that way she can just add a couple cubes. I'm loving these ideas! I love making smoothies but it's time consuming to have to grab all the things seperatly. Hopefully this will make it easier for me to have time to get something, especially in the mornings.

These are the kinda things I've gotten so far and I was just curious if anyone has some helpfull hints for buying any particular items, or hints on how to store them/keep them fresh. Just anything along those lines that help you. I would appreciate it. :-)

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 2/1/2012 1:55PM

Seperate bananas when you bring them home and when they are as ripe as you want them put them in the fridge and they will last several more days. The skin turns, but the banana stays good for a few days. Report Inappropriate Comment

Just need to yell at myself!!!

Friday, January 20, 2012

I am just so mad at myself!! I don't understand why I can't do this! I don't understand why I even let myself get like this! I hate that I have been such a lazy person all my life! If it weren't for basketball all my life until I graduted high school I would have looked like this a lot sooner.. I just hate it! I hate that as soon as basketball was over I didn't force myself to keep in shape. Even during basketball I never felt in the best of shape. Most days I would be tired after just 2 drills....

Everytime I have gone to Mcdonalds (in just the last week alone) why can't I have the will power to not go?!?!?! I do good for a day or so with eating what I have at home and making good decisions but somehow I always manage to make bad choices and then once I cave in (which I always do) and have fast food once then I can't stop!

I have nights like this (when I'm sitting here at work where I can't get up and take advantage of being pissed off and motivated) far too often! I do this on again/off again thing too much!!! I know I know I gotta just make myself do it, and I do, for a little while. Then I fall for eating cookies as if they are the last cookies on earth and if I don't eat them right then and there I'll never have a cookie ever again. Which may be a good thing but I never can say no! I get off my butt and do some kind of excersice one day then the next I'm tired from work or from the workout the night before and I convince myself that I don't wanna waste the time I have or just come up with some excuse! WHY CAN'T I DO THIS????? I know it's not suppose to be easy, I know it takes patience and dedication and a whole life change... But I just can't seem to stick with it!!! I feel like a failure with how many times I have gotten to this point! The idea of putting motivation pictures up everywhere and buying nothing but chicken and turkey burger and salad stuff and all healthy stuff but nothing seems to get in the way when I am craving a whole package of oreos! I always sink as low as using some of my gas money to be able to go buy those oreos!! I'd have SO MUCH MONEY if I didn't go to Mcdonalds or Taco Bell or Zips!

...I hate that i break down and start crying while getting ready to go out and celebrate my fiance's 21st birthday, a night that should be all about him, because I have no clothes that fit... I hate that I look down and see rolls sticking out over my work pants (that I can't even button).. I hate that I can't workout one night nice and hard and see a difference already.. I hate that junk food can't just dissappear so I don't have to try to make the right decision,... But worse of all I hate that me looking like this is my fault.. I feel so foolish complaing when it is all my fault.. No one else's. And yet I still fall into this pattern, everytime. I wish I could be like ok, this is it. From here on out I'm doing the right thing... I just wish it were that easy.

Ugh...

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IHEARTGEE 1/22/2012 7:04AM

I had this, this was me the whole of last year. It does take time, and it does take patience, but I know how frustrating, depressing and hard it is. I know that you feel angry with yourself and like there's two parts of you - one who tries to workout and eat healthily, and the other one, who says "It's just one burger" or "But you worked out yesterday, it's fine." And the other one is most definitely stronger. I know all that! I really do. And here's what you have to do. You have to make the effort to listen to the first part, the part that really wants to change. But at the same time - don't try and immediately ignore that second part out of existence, because it will just come back even stronger. Take little steps. Cut down your fast food gradually, or give yourself a cheat day every week. In this way, you're going for what Sparkpeople is all about: moderation, not deprivation. You are strong, you really are, but it might just take you a while to realise it. Try all those things that SP recommends - get a workout buddy that you can't let down, or set a goal so easy that you know you can accomplish it, and build your momentum from there. If you like, I can give you my email address, and we can be accountable to each other - we'll arrange days to do workouts, and let each other know how we did, and send some motivation along with it. I know you can do this, even if you don't think you can. You're a strong person, and you will succeed. Keep pushing and give it time. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOMFAN 1/21/2012 4:20PM

Sarah, I so understand. Let's start with just one thing to work on! One streak! How about no drive through or take out? or Ten Minute exercise streak? Report Inappropriate Comment

ANDIEBM71 1/20/2012 11:00PM

I completely understand. I ate out all day today! You just have to track it and tell yourself that you are going to do better tomorrow. Or try to make healthy choices if you have to eat out. Keep trying and keep your head up. You CAN do this and you will feel so much better once you see the results:) Report Inappropriate Comment