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Doing better this week.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Last week, I had a really hard time sticking to any goals. I was sick (still am a bit) and I just didn't have the willpower. Then the weekend hit and it was ice cream and burgers and sausages. By Monday night, I was so swelled I thought my legs would explode if I touched them. When I weighed myself yesterday, not only had I not lost any weight, I had actually gained almost a pound. Not so awesome. Yesterday I did really well food wise. There is room for improvement obviously, but I was happy with my nutrition tracker at the end of the day. My exercise was still at 0. I can't exercise with the kids awake. It is all bad and unproductive so I wait until they go to sleep at night. By dinner last night I had a massive headache. By the time I went to sleep I could barely move off the couch without wanting to puke. Today, I am going to aim for nap time instead of bedtime. Hopefully that works out better. I am really trying hard this week to see some results!


Totally binged yesterday.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Monday my sister started a 10 wk exercise program. She doesn't know that I am using her as competition. I want to lose a bigger percentage of weight than her. She is going for 20lbs which is about 10.5% of her body weight. She is doing T25, but doesn't really plan on focusing on food. She has horrible eating habits.
In order to beat her, I will have to lose 32 lbs. I am about 100 lbs heavier than her so I definitely have my work cut out for me. I am going to focus on both food and exercise. This week however, I am focusing on food. Mainly, because I am sick and anything more than a light walk makes me about cough up a lung. And that hurts so yea. I did well on Monday. I did go over my calories by 10, but everything else was good. Yesterday the cravings started. I didn't fend them off as well as I should have. I didn't even log the second half of the day into my food because, honestly, I can't remember everything I ate. So fine. It is what it is and today is another day. Not going to beat myself up over it. If I do I will not get through today without another binge, much less the next 10 weeks.


It's been awhile.

Monday, May 19, 2014

I feel as if I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately. About 2 months ago, my mom had a mild heart attack. She is okay. The doctors put her on a bunch of new meds and she is losing some weight. Old habits are hard to break though and I have watched her slip back into her old habits
On Easter, we were celebrating over at my sister's house. Everyone was having a good time and getting along (something that has been difficult lately). We were just sitting down to eat when my dad went completely gray and unresponsive. Luckily, my cousin, who is in the medical field, was there to tell us what to do. I helped her lay him flat. She started trying to take his pulse and couldn't find one. I had my hand on his chest trying to shake him awake. I couldn't feel any movement. No breathing and no heartbeat. It felt like forever to me, but Shane told me it was only about a minute. Then my dad took a very shallow ragged breath and I could feel his heartbeat again. He was disoriented. He thought my cousin was my sister (they look nothing alike). He went from gray to yellowish. We had to wait on the squad because they were at another call, but the guy who runs the station came down. A plus for my sis living 8 houses down from the station! He assessed the situation and had us sit dad up. Dad was starting to come around a bit. When the quad got there, they checked his bp and took his sugar. Then dad had another episode. His bp completely bottomed out and they rushed to get him loaded. Once loaded they worked on him for about 10 minutes. They took his sugar again and it was 55 so they gave him glucose. I still don't know what else they did. They got him stable enough to take him to the hospital. Once there they decided the whole thing was caused by his sugar bottoming out. My sister and I don't trust our local hospital though. They are bottom of the food chain as far as medicine goes around here. My sister had a talk with the guy that was there first. The first time my dad's sugar was checked, it was fine. He doesn't think that was the cause, but rather a symptom. He suggested my dad get a stress test. Of course my dad is happier to say it was his sugar from not eating and that he is just fine.
The only plus side of my dad's episode was the fact that my mom finally realized how useless my brother is in an emergency situation. My sister and I have been trying unsuccessfully for years to get our parents to change their emergency contact. They have always kept it as our brother because he is the oldest. But he loses it. He can't make any decisions because he just shuts down and becomes this big blubbery mess. Which is crazy because he is actually trained to deal with emergencies! I guess it's different when it's your family. I was surprised at my sister though. She is usually just as bad or worse than our brother, but she kept it fairly together. I was impressed especially considering that she is also dealing with ppd right now. Nobody expected her to keep it together. She is going to be their new emergency contact. She lives closer and has a car. We became a one car family a few months ago so I am not as reliable.
Shane turned 40 in March. His birthday marked the official end to us trying for baby #3. On one hand, I am glad. being a stay at home mom is not easy. In fact, I hate it. I need to be out interacting with people. I need to have a paycheck. I hate feeling like I don't contribute. We have run the numbers. There is just no way me working right now is financially beneficial.
On the other hand, I am incredibly sad and mad. I wanted another baby. I wanted to try to give Shane a boy. I hate that my body will not work right!
So ya those are the main things that have been going on lately. I didn't mean for this to become a full on vent, but maybe I needed it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PINKPANTHERS 5/19/2014 8:08PM

    emoticon Sounds like a pretty challenging time for you, sending positive thoughts and energy for you and your family!

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MJRVIC2000 5/19/2014 11:57AM

    We will pray for You that God may fulfill your desire in accordance with His will. God Bless YOU! Vic.

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So So Week

Monday, November 11, 2013

My goals this past week were
1)Follow my menu plan
2)Drink more water
3)Exercise before I play WoW
I did follow my menu the first part of the week, but by Thursday I was way off. This week I have decided to use meals I have prepped and frozen ahead of time. At least later in the week. My new cookbook should come in handy for that.
I did drink more water, but not my my full 8 glasses a day. I still count this as a win though. I think f I had gone from very little water to 8 glasses a day I would have been in the bathroom more than not!
The exercise is an issue. I know I need to move more, but I end up hurting so bad. Partly because of past injuries and partly because of my current weight.
My week was pretty up and down. We are trying to get holiday stuff nailed down. It is the in-laws year for Thanksgiving with us and Christmas with my family. In-laws live an hour and a half away so it gets too hectic trying to do both families in 1 day. In my family we plan ahead. My mom has been on me since Labor Day to start making plans. Shane's family usually plan a week or 2 ahead. I sent sis in law a message a few weeks ago letting her know that this was their Thanksgiving. On Wed she got back to me that they didn't want to get together for Thanksgiving, but wanted to do Christmas dinner instead. I let her know we already had plans with my family that day. So I have been making a menu and talking with Shane about inviting my brother and his girlfriend over. Shane wants it to be just us. I think it's completely depressing to cook for just us. He finally conceded last night. I was got on FB to send my brother a message inviting them over. Instead, I find a message from sis in law saying they are having Thanksgiving. So now I have to figure out a fairly healthy side and dessert to take that they will eat. I offered to because everything they make is always so salty. I end up looking like a blow up toy by the time we get back home. I am thinking of doing green bean casserole for the side. I have a couple paleo recipes for it with little salt and no cream of mystery glob from a can. I'm torn on the dessert. I have recipe for an almond pear cake that looks delish!
I'm just not sure anyone but me and the girls will eat it. I also have a recipe for primal carrot cake that I have been dying to make!
Again, not sure if they would eat it or not, but at least Shane would eat it.
I've also been Christmas shopping. I have pajamas, 1 dress and 1 shirt each for the girls. I also have socks and panties for Sarane. Any other clothes will come from Goodwill or the consignment shop. I am trying to take the stance that they get a few brand new pieces of clothes and some gently used new to them clothes. My family thinks I'm crazy, but clothes are expensive. Especially when they are growing so fast. Besides, it shouldn't matter where it comes from. It's new to the girls.
I am torn between the Ramona books and the Little House books for Sarane. Yes, she is only 3 and therefore cannot read. I read to her. We have plenty of little kids books, but I like reading big books to her and she likes it. I think I'm just going to get Elora coloring books for her books. We are trying to follow something to wear, something to read, something you want and something you need.
I am keeping my eye on prices. We are going to get Sarane an art easel and art supplies. Elora is getting a couple of toys that she can take apart and put back together. We wanted to get her a toy workbench, but they all have small parts and she still sticks stuff in her mouth. Maybe next year.
The something you need is proving a bit harder. What do a 2 year old and almost 4 year old need? I might look at new bedding for Elora. She still has the Winnie the Pooh baby stuff. She does need a bigger blanket at least. Sarane I am at a total loss.
I have my nephew's present ordered. I know what I am getting my mom. I am going to put a gift basket together for my dad with different teas and a mug that I'm going to let the girls doodle on. My brother and his girlfriend I am making a gift basket, but I'm not sure what I am going to put in it. I'm thinking either "Pizza Night" (with a pizza stone, pizza cutter, jiffy pizza dough, a jar of pizza sauce and an oven mitt), "Pasta Night" (a box of pasta, a jar of pasta sauce, a colander, a few spices and a recipe for garlic bread) or a breakfast themed basket (pancake mix, a spatula, muffin mix, a muffin tin, coffee, coffee mugs like the one we are making my dad). I'm actually digging the breakfast themed basket but I keep going back and forth. For my sis and her boyfriend, I am doing a big gift basket with baby stuff. She is due Feb 1st with a little girl, Lola Mae. I was supposed to throw a baby shower but for reasons being it got canceled. I already have a few outfits to put in it. I am also going to make a big thing of laundry soap. I am going to get diapers, wipes, bottles, gripe water, and other little things.
Thursday is Elora's 2nd birthday. I can't believe how big she is getting! She is talking more and more. Last night she said her first cuss word. Oops. My bad. She totally repeated after me. It was bull----. Hopefully, it was just a one time thing. Instead of a party, Sat we are taking her to the Chinese buffet her in town. It is awesome and she loves it. My parents, sis and brother are all coming too. Sarane's birthday is in Jan. Still have no idea what we are going to do for her.
Here are this week's goals
1) Log in all my food.
2) Drink my 8 glasses of water a day.
3)Exercise at least 10 min a day.


My OMG Moment

Monday, November 04, 2013

Saturday was my birthday. It was a good birthday that I got to spend with my husband and kids. Last week Shane let me go shopping for some clothes. By "let me" I mean he made sure it was in the budget. I have had most of my clothes longer than Shane and I have been together and they are starting to tear up. I found some jeans pretty easily. It was the tops. I got a new sweatshirt and a new hoodie. I know my wardrobe sounds glamorous! Seriously though, I'm a 32 year old stay at home mom. Comfort is the name of the game. So I was looking at tops. I picked up a 2XL which is what I wore when Shane and I got together. I didn't even bother trying it on. I knew it would be way too tight. I ended up needing a 3XL hoodie and a 4XL sweatshirt (because I like my sweatshirts on the loose side). I almost put the tops back so that I didn't have to face the fact of how big I really am. I ended up buying them only because I needed them so bad. I don't want to be a 3/4XL. I can't be a 3/4XL. Not in the long run. I am constantly stressed, tired, my allergies are getting really bad again and my back and shoulder hurt constantly. I know all these issues aren't 100% because of my weight, but I also know that losing weight will help a lot! I have tried to lose weight so many times before. Sometimes I would but then gained it right back. Other times, I would give up before the first day was over. I feel like this is the point though. Either I do what it takes to become healthy or I continue to get bigger and sicker.
So what am I going to do about it? First off, I am going to take it one day at a time. I get so overwhelmed when I look at the big picture. That leads to my failure. So I am looking at today. Tomorrow can wait until tomorrow.
I am going back to eating Primal/Paleo. Eating that way earlier this year, I felt so much better than I ever have. Yes, it is difficult not to eat all the convenience food, but eating those is what led me to this point. Of course, my budget doesn't allow for everything to be organic or grass-fed. I can only do what I can do. But every little bit helps. That is why I prefer Primal over full on Paleo. 80/20 is much more doable than 95/5! Plus, I am not completely giving up dairy. Cut back? Sure. Cut out? No way!
Exercise is something I am working on. We recently got Roku and several channels have exercise videos on them. My plan is, for the time being, just to go through these videos and find what I like. So I might do yoga one day, belly dancing the next and WATP the next. I figure as long as I get up and move, that's what counts at this point!
To keep myself accountable I am going o blog every Monday. Ideally, I would blog everyday, but I can never keep up with that. It ends up feeling like a chore. So Mondays are what I am committing to and anything else is just a bonus. I also am making weekly goals. Nothing major. At least not yet. So here they are. My goals for this week:
1) Follow my menu plan!
2) Drink more water.
3) Exercise before I play WoW.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KOFFEENUT 11/4/2013 5:48PM

    You are SO right - looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. The only way I could be successful was to set VERY small goals that I KNEW I could do. Get 10 minutes of exercise? I CAN do that. Eat 3 fruits/vegetables today? I CAN do that. I don't have control over the scale, so I had to set goals that I DID have control over and trust they would take me where I wanted to go over the long haul. And they DO - hang in there!

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