Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Everyday I'm reminded how blessed I am to have what I have.
I'm not talking about cars or our house or even our ability to go to Jamaica each year (after working our tails off all year)...I'm talking about my husband and kids...
My kids are great, even though, on Saturday, all 3 of them decided to push every button I have, but they are still amazing. My daughter saved me from 2 spiders yesterday! She's my hero!
My husband and I, I continue to learn, have a pretty rare relationship. We like each other!! What a concept!! We have been together nearly 8 years and are still in love with each other. Life is not always perfect, we are two separate people and will think differently sometimes and that won't go so smooth until we find our middle ground, but we are always looking for our middle ground. I have read so many things and heard so many things about spouses who are not supportive of each other, who would rather just be away from each other, who put others in front of their relationships...I'm so glad I'm we aren't that way. I did it wrong the first time around, so did he, thank goodness we both learned great lessons.
So today, that's front of mind for me...I'm blessed and I am very thankful for it!
Make it a great Wednesday all!
Sunday, May 06, 2012
Friday I weighed in, hoping to be below 143 because I had gained so much during my week of binging a few weeks ago...to my surprise, I was at 141, my smallest ever in my adult life...
On to my cheat days! Fridays and Saturdays are my cheat days and boy did I cheat. It was no surprise to me at all that my 8s were snug and my 10s were on call for most of the weekend.
Today, Sunday, I start back on track and back in the cycle of good girl eating and working out until Friday when I cheat again for 2 days. I'm learning though. I have been cutting my cheat food in half (most of the time) and sharing bad for me meals with friends or a kiddo. The funny thing is looking at my tummy. By the time I'm showering on Sunday evening after Zumba, my tummy is noticeably (at least to me) bloated.
I used to freak out, but I don't anymore. I know what the week brings. I know in a few days my 8's will like my booty again and I will feel good. I used to get mad at myself and think about how much farther I would be if I didn't cheat, but I don't anymore. I have drove myself insane by not giving myself cheat days before and I end up stressing more and thus losing less. I'm learning the science of losing weight that works for me, and I'm pretty content.
Hope you all made it a great weekend! Make it a great week!
Friday, May 04, 2012
Ok, let me first say, this is kind of sarcastic...maybe a little more than kind of on some things...but the first one was something I actually thought when leaving Zumba the other day and then I giggled...
You feel it when you don't drink enough water...I know! Sucks right? If I don't get enough water, because I have been so busy I haven't taken time to refill my water every time I should, I feel it. I start to get one of those mild headaches, I get sluggish and I feel coated for lack of a better word-like I need to flush out the yucky coating in my mouth and in my body. For the record, I have never enjoyed drinking water, but it's second nature now and I guess I kind of like it if I can tell when I haven't had enough!
I can't eat very much of the very rich and yummy foods. Now, it's not because I will cap out my calories for the day...I have cheat days when I can cap out and max out and super dooper over max out my calories...and then I have a food hang over, almost immediately! Pepto is my friend but even that doesn't help sometimes. I feel it. Last night I shared a cheeseburger with my son (a big one from BW3's) and had half the french fries and my tummy was angry!!! Moderation is my friend!
I can't suck it in. I will always have a mommy pouch, until it's surgically removed. I get that...sometimes I get that, but that's not the point. If I'm bloated, if I ate too much, etc...I can't even take off an inch...I can suck it in, and its up near my chest that goes in...I know, horrible problem to have right?
I have major guilt saying anything about being small. I was a large child, I was a fat adult, I know the struggles of food running my life, so I feel guilty when I write, say or think something like the above. I want to wear a shirt that says, "I worked my ass off, literally" so that I feel better about being a smaller size. Don't get me wrong, I don't think about it all the time, but there are times that I just feel like a jerk for being happy about my smaller size...and that leads me in to...
It seems like, suddenly, I've become one of 'those' people. This one still makes me flabbergasted! Let me start by saying, I do not enjoy drama, I have a close group of friends and 90% of them don't do drama and the other 10% do a very good job of keeping me (and my family) out of their drama if they do...because I hate it. I don't like dramatic movies (for the most part) or TV shows so I don't want it in my life...but apparently because I have worked my tail off and I take care of my appearance, I am now one of 'those' girls. I didn't even know what this meant until a friend clarified...I am, apparently at least visibly, someone people look at as a threat...?! Ok, my personality is strong, I'm loud, a bit crazy and pretty open about everything...but a threat cause of how I look? Damn...I went from people staring at me while I ate and feeling sorry for me at times to being someone people automatically have an aversion to because I'm smaller and take care of my hair?!
Ohh one last thing...I feel horrible saying that I'm 'smaller' that I am 'healthier' and so on...because I'm not life the really healthy people out there. I have lots of jiggle because the only exercise I do, aside from playing with my kids and dancing in the rain, is Zumba 3 to 4 days a week. I'm not addicted to working out, aside from Zumba, I would always rather sit on my couch then go work out...so I don't think I deserve the title of healthy.
So there's my griping...stupid huh? Here's the thing...I don't have a negative outlook and I would never really really gripe about my life now as a healthier person...it just amazed me how I thought, wow, I still have issues in my brain but man how different they are!! :)
On to my cheat day...at least lunch! Make it a great Friday all...enjoy it for all it's worth!!
Friday, April 13, 2012
I don't know that I have ever posted on here how I feel about Zumba...I am forever grateful for Zumba...silly right?
Zumba isn't only for my body, although it is the only form of exercise that I have ever WANTED to do and have kept up for months and months...and the fact that I burn 500-900 calories each time...and I'm a pant size smaller (I'm in SINGLE digits!)...it's SO amazing for my mind.
For 45 minutes to an hour I can not think of anything but the music and dancing! This is mainly because I will fall on my face :) but honestly, it's exactly what I need. I love my job and I love my kids but those two things alone keep me on the go physically but also mentally. When I hit Zumba, I can't think of anything but not falling on my face, when the music changes, the words I'm singing either out loud or in my head...I give myself a guilt free break to shut the rest of the world out of my brain for that time. When I am done, in addition to being drenched in sweat and feeling like a million billion dollars, I can think clearly again. I'm happy and refreshed and ready to take on the world again...when my body isn't so tired :)
I know that God has a plan and put things in my life for reasons I don't understand and I really believe he placed me in the health fair at work with the girl I was with so we could figure out that we were supposed to be friends (I love this girl!) and that we both had Y memberships and could make a Zumba class! A little overboard to thank God for Zumba? Maybe, but in my life, I thank Him for a lot...so thank God for Zumba!
Make it a great Friday all!!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I jumped on the scale today...no, it's not weigh in day, but I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to.
Last night I zumba'd for an hour and a half...my instructor, whom I love, was leading the class after my normal class so I stayed. My mind and body needed it! When I got home and I was showering I looked at my tummy and I realized it looked different already and I've only been back to eating right and moving for 2 days. I thought I was losing my mind...turns out, I know my body.
I can tell you that, at this point in my life, 5lbs is very noticeable to me. It may not be noticeable to anyone else, but when I'm standing there in my birthday suit, I can see it. Like I said in my previous blog, it didn't bother me that I could tell, I knew I'd take it off, but I could still tell...apparently I can tell when I work it off too!
I know most of the weight dropped off because of the soda. I drank more soda, regular soda and diet soda, in ten days then I had in months and month prior. I also know that I started eating food that regulated me (sorry, I know it's breakfast time)...so I shouldn't be shocked that the scale is down.
What's the point? The point is really for me...I'm still in a bit of shock that I am at this place in my life. I know that the weight I've lost (61.7 lbs!) will not be coming back...I know that if I go a bit crazy with food for a few days, it's ok cause I'll take it off and I wouldn't go crazy for too long...I know I'm a different person, my priorities have changed. I love to sweat while dancing my butt off (literally)...I love to pick out new clothes...I love to share what I've been able to accomplish to those who ask to try and help others...
Ok, it's close to that week for me, so now I'm tearing up...time to make lunch and get the kiddo's around...thanks for joining me in my emotional mess of a blog today!
Make it a great day all!
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