Friday, May 17, 2013
It seems like whenever I get a good exercise streak going and I can feel my fitness levels improving -- BAM -- I come down with a cold. Well, I've just finished with my most recent cold which developed last Friday -- after I'd been on a good exercise streak for a number of weeks. I get very frustrated when my streak gets disrupted by a cold because it's so difficult to keep up with my exercising in the first place -- and I'd struggled to make peace with the idea of just resting and getting well.
Then yesterday, I got the news that, not only did I not get a job I interviewed for at the organization I work for, but in the same meeting I was also told that they are "reaching out" to other departments to find somewhere else to put me. It's hard enough to hear you didn't get a job but even harder to hear of further uncertainty, too.
I went into a really bad downward spiral for a good number of hours after that meeting. I had to process my negativity all by myself and even isolated myself from my husband for half the day today. It was clear that he was rather "lost" about how to deal with my emotional difficulty and I just didn't have the energy to deal with his problem and mine at the same time.
Like all storms, this eventually began clearing up. I cried, I cursed (in my head), I journaled about it, and I exchanged heartfelt e-mails with my sister. I also continued to read Joyce Meyer's book "Living Beyond Your Feelings" which, like the other things I was doing, helped a lot, too. When I was ready, I went into my husband's home office and we had a nice talk. I think he was kind of relieved that my emotions had settled down.
Then I decided that after all those struggles, I wanted to affirm the value of my life with or without positive outcomes at work. So, I put on my exercise clothes, drove over to our fitness center and did 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer, 15 minutes on the treadmill, and a 5 minute stretching routine. With all of that, I felt I'd affirmed my life rather than trashing it.
I have also decided that, although I don't know what's going to happen, I am going to have faith and simply step into each day with a hopeful heart and continue to affirm my life. The alternative -- trashing it -- just doesn't seem desirable to me....and I know that I have value as a person beyond my job. I promise I will find ways to affirm the value of my life each day.
Saturday, June 02, 2012
I've been struggling a little bit with some things in my life, one of them being simply not feeling "inspired" to workout. I also have a little case of the blues, adjusting to some changes. So for some insane reason, I found myself in the kitchen this evening, snarfing down some really high cal trail mix (well duh...could it be emotional eating?).
Oh my, it was heaven but with each bite I knew was acting directly against what the better part of me knew was in my best interest. Yet I kept taking bite after bite after bite.
Finally, frustrated with myself, I put the bag back in the cabinet...
...then I turned around, got the bag back out of the cabinet and...
...dumped the rest down the disposal, grinding it to smithereens.
I feel strangely proud for getting rid of it.
If it's not in the house, I can't eat it. No more trail mix in my house!
Friday, April 06, 2012
Well, as I posted on my status for today, I've come down with a cold. :- ( This doesn't make me happy, of course. On the up side, it doesn't seem to be one of the butt-kickers with a lot of coughing/sneezing/congestion/fever or bodyaches, etc. Basically, I have some upper respiratory congestion and I seem to tire a bit faster than I'd like.
I skipped my workout yesterday because I was rather worn out after work but I am at home today and am doing what I can to conserve energy. Later on, I am going to try to complete my strength conditioning for the day. If need be, I'll break it up into several very small workouts. Don't know if I'll try any cardio...let's see how the day goes.
In the meantime, I'm trying to drink lots of water, eat healthy, and just go with the flow as much as I can. I hope everyone else is doing well and that you have a great weekend!
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Having a bad couple of days...headache yesterday, today just not quite feeling like "myself." Skipping my workout (which I had to do yesterday because of my headache) would be so easy today. Just want to curl up in a ball, listen to hours of soothing music, and shut everything out.
But no, I am NOT going to do that.
In fact, I'm writing this because I am publicly committing to a cardio workout today. I don't "need" to skip it today -- in fact, I probably need it more today because I'm not feeling like myself.
So there. I've committed...now all I have to do is...do it....
Thursday, February 09, 2012
My hubby and I are going through a difficult time in our marriage the last few days. Things settled a bit and then got shaken up again tonight. After we unsuccessfully tried to talk things out, we both decided enough was enough and it was time for him to go to sleep. (He has to wake up much earlier than I do to go to work.) We weren't yelling or abusive, just not on the proverbial same page. I felt disconnected from him and emotionally stressed.
When I am emotionally stressed, especially when it is due to a problem between my husband and me, I tend to shut down and veg out for hours in front of the TV. A lovely comfort zone it is....
I came so close to doing that tonight...
...but then I thought of the 10-minute exercise challenge I signed up for this month and I thought, "I can do ten minutes."
So I put on my exercise clothes. It's funny...once you get started, 10 minutes passes like a flash and you wind up doing more than you thought you would. Ultimately I did 25 minutes of strength training and stretching. While this didn't fix the problem between my husband and me, it did help me feel better just from the standpoint that I didn't crawl into my oh-so-nice comfort zone in this situation. The 10-Minute Exercise Challenge nudged me to take another step, no matter how small, toward my February goals, and not abandon them for the day just because of this situation. Now I feel more peaceful for having avoided, in a positive way, my long-standing vegging-out behavior tonight.
All I can say is, I do hope that my husband and I are able to get through this rough patch and see eye-to-eye, or at least peacefully agree to disagree pretty soon. I do miss the "us" of us.
Peace to all.
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