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Habits. I keep uncovering them.

Friday, April 25, 2014

During the past month I was increasingly lethargic - you know, beyond tired. Seemed strange. Then I realized that I was fighting it. And going about it all wrong!

Last week I went to bed at 7:30pm one night. Got up at 2am for an hour, went back to bed and slept til almost noon!

This week when the feeling started to make me feel like I was dragging, I just plain went to bed, repeated a similar routine... and have felt fine for two days.

I'm not going to worry about the why of it all, because I know that my sleep disorder and other issues are at the base. I know better than to ignore signals like that lethargy! But we don't always do what we know is right. It's so much more "comfortable" to keep to old habits. "Comfortable"? No. But habits are so ingrained, aren't they? What was my habit that I ignored? Staying up late. I'm a night owl, so I was insisting on staying up even when I clearly needed rest!

Sometimes we just have to give in to our feelings and not think "no, I can't do such and such no matter how I feel". Listening to body messages is an important part of the journey.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISS_VIV 4/26/2014 1:34PM

    Listening to your body is LIKE, step #1...............Rest and relaxation are so important to all of us. Been there, done that.....Hate it when it happens.. So here is to another trip.....another mile in this journey..........

emoticon

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RAYNBOWCHASER 4/25/2014 10:15AM

    Listen to your body's wisdom! Hmm, great idea, wish I did that more often. But like you said, habits die hard.
emoticon

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GOANNA2 4/25/2014 9:41AM

    I think that we must listen to our body.
I have been feeling lethargic lately and tomorrow
I finally get to see an endo for my thyroid to see if
he can provide some answers. emoticon

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DDOORN 4/25/2014 8:25AM

    Hmm...sometimes figuring out what works can be such a mystery...but listening to one's body is a terrific place to start!

Don

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Habits. I keep uncovering them.

Friday, April 25, 2014

During the past month I was increasingly lethargic - you know, beyond tired. Seemed strange. Then I realized that I was fighting it. And going about it all wrong!

Last week I went to bed at 7:30pm one night. Got up at 2am for an hour, went back to bed and slept til almost noon!

This week when the feeling started to make me feel like I was dragging, I just plain went to bed, repeated a similar routine... and have felt fine for two days.

I'm not going to worry about the why of it all, because I know that my sleep disorder and other issues are at the base. I know better than to ignore signals like that lethargy! But we don't always do what we know is right. It's so much more "comfortable" to keep to old habits. "Comfortable"? No. But habits are so ingrained, aren't they? What was my habit that I ignored? Staying up late. I'm a night owl, so I was insisting on staying up even when I clearly needed rest!

Sometimes we just have to give in to our feelings and not think "no, I can't do such and such no matter how I feel". Listening to body messages is an important part of the journey.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 4/27/2014 2:14AM

    I hear you on the night owl I'm one as well sleep pattern always seems to get off work in progress.

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COMPCHIC52 4/25/2014 9:37AM

    I also have sleeping issues. its like I wait till I am exhausted before I go to bed but if I don't wait till then. I can`t sleep. always to bed by like 2 or 3 am then up by lunch time. done it all my life since I was a teen. I doubt I will change it. some nights I will go to bed at 9 pm cause I am so tired but up at 2 am only to stay up till morning. I have a cpap and still just do not sleep right. do not know how to change it.

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Must somehow push past ! my limits.

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Invisible disabilities are frustrating, y'know. I have three of them. The pain issue is what I can hide, what even a few of my docs don't really understand. One of these, unfortunately, is my very nice General Practice doctor; I started seeing her about a month before my cancer surgery in 2006. So she's never known the active and thinner me, just the fibro me. Four or six times a year I see her: she checks bloodwork to be sure my kidney's working well, the iron's up, the sodium's high enough etc.

Yesterday I went to my GP. What was different in this office visit yesterday was talking about weight. Apparently my doctor has seen the light, had an awakening, whatever: she suddenly seems to 'get' that even though I'm eating properly and well (it shows in the bloodwork too, y'know), my weight problem is all about my pain levels and limitations. That part is good. Nice to have people 'understand' instead of tell you to start doing things you've already been doing for years, and also tell you to do other things that you cannot do at all.

However, she suddenly went from a 7-year-long attitude of "eat less, move more" to UNDERSTANDING. Where did Doctor Tough-Gal go?!? Who is this person that looks like my doctor, anyway? Where is her usual off-case advice?!

For over a month I've been working HARD at pool exercise to decrease pain levels and increase ability to move. I've been determined to get back to where I was 1.5 years ago when my first physical therapist died. Finally finding another local hot water pool is a turning around point and because of it: I'm ready to push even harder than ever through my roadblocks. So here I am working toward a goal to push and ! suddenly.... my "eat less, move more" tough doc is telling me to just do a LITTLE more IF I'm up to it!? Maybe she feels guilty that she never understood? Maybe she reviewed all the recent reports of tests and such from the other doctors? I don't know; it's nice to have her get it, but... Right now is when I need toughness she's usually got down to a 't'. It would work nicely WITH this new understanding that seems to have entered her spirit! Sigh.

Well, I came back from this dubiously wonderful experience of finally having my own gp realize I have serious issues due to limitations...and...I... just... felt... angry. Not at her. Well. Maybe a little: couldn't she have figured this out earlier? No. What really angers me is that I'm frustrated with the fact I want to move better, feel better!! And this weight is in my way and doesn't want to leave me. I want results and keep staring at roadblocks.

Frankly, don't care about the 'looks' part of weight loss. But what I do care about is feeling good. I don't want Type II, don't want diabetes, don't want more cancer. Think heart disease is a real possibility if I don't find solutions. This weight is inviting them in my direction and I want them to not find me. Last night I couldn't stop thinking about the doctor visit and went through so many emotions. It was a tri-polar evening, emotionally speaking. Anger. Fear. Pain. Determination. Oh. Quatra-polar? Since there surely is no such thing in the DSM, let's not quibble about the accuracy of spelling, ok?

I am angry that I am being so diligent without seeing much hope of getting beyond this point. All the professionals, even my once-tough-doc, now agree: my solution is in movement and my pain levels are my enemy.

I KNOW that in order to create change, I must change something I do.
I am afriad of the physical pain that I know is in front of me.
I am determined to make a huge push.
Change usually puts me into flare. Then ...
Notice the cycle?

At the end of all this, the big question is:
CAN I move enough to increase my basal metabolic rate up to a point where I use up a normal range of calories every day? I can try. Real hard. And frankly it scares me.

Thanks for 'listening'.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 4/27/2014 2:13AM

    Sending hugs.

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IMAVISION 4/16/2014 2:43PM

    God bless you!

Although, I do not deal with the 24/7 pain of fibromyalgia, I have two very close family members who do & have for several years --- one for over thirty years & one for a good twenty years (starting in her teen years). Watching their daily battle to stay as active as possible has been painful --- and I am just on the outside looking in. I can only imagine how painful both physically & emotionally it is for them.

My prayers cover all who deal with that horrible condition!

Ima



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BUBBALOOGA123 4/12/2014 2:31PM

    You have every right to feel the way you do! I saw your post over at our 100 day challenge team and I had to read your blog that you were talking about. I am so impressed by your tenacity and strength of character. And although these feelings of anger and frustration are getting to you, they are so much better than feeling apathetic and hopeless.

My dad had chronic pain and I had to learn that he felt the way he did to keep the fire going, not only for himself but to keep his doctors listening, too. Your fight is worth fighting, if that makes sense. And finding those moments were you can be easy on yourself will keep things in balance, too. I hope I'm saying the right things since, bottom line, I want to send you the support and encouragement that you deserve. You are amazing!

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JUDY1676 4/9/2014 9:58AM

    emoticon glad your Dr. Is getting it! With your determination, you will get there.

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GOANNA2 4/9/2014 8:58AM

    Finally a doctor who understands. I know you can
do this. You work so hard and you put me to shame.
Go Sam... emoticon emoticon

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DDOORN 4/9/2014 8:47AM

    Thank you for putting my recent "plateau" into better perspective...have been bordering on feeling frustrated over maintaining over the past few weeks and not losing. Pfft! There goes my frustration! :-) It's gotta PALE compared to the struggles you've been having...!

At least your doc is starting to "get it!"

Hang in there, gotta keep tweaking...we'll reach that "higher ground" as Stevie Wonder sings it out...

Don

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NANCYPAT1 4/9/2014 6:04AM

    I know what it is like to have doctors who just don't get it - they aren't trained to get it and most think like a lot of nonmedical people that if we were not so LAZY and didn't eat so much we wouldn't have the problem. They are basically idiots.

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LKWQUILTER 4/9/2014 6:03AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Stay-on-Track Calendar: have you seen yours?

Friday, April 04, 2014

To stay on top of specific tracking and planning, we have several tools. The planner will send us email reminders if we want reminders of appointments or perhaps challenge reminders; the nutrition and fitness trackers help us look at exactly how much activity we are doing, how many calories we burn. The reports generated by tracking are absolutely wonderful. Yup, you know of several ways to keep an eye on your progress. At midnight every night your SparkPoints Page switches to the next day. And it's a fantastic place for checking to see what we do each day, what we have not yet done that day. With all these tools, do you need to know about another? Yes. Will you find it useful? Maybe!

Many people don't know this too exists even though it is a great month-at-a-glance summation of various things you want to see on it! This is The Stay-on-Track (aka My SparkSummary) Calendar.

This online month-at-a-glance type SP calendar can quickly show you your progress, so it's a neat tool!

You can go to the calendar, www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/stay-on-
track-calendar.asp
, check and save your preferences for which of the following you want to have shown on your summary calendar:

....Calories Eaten
....Fitness Minutes
....Calories Burned
....Weight
....SparkPoints
....Appointments

When you track foods, fitness, etc: the SP system automatically inserts numbers from that tracking into your "My SparkSummary Calendar". If you track exercise on the start page instead of on your fitness tracker, even that is included. So....When you track "squats/plank/pushups", the calendar will show the fitness minutes; you can click the fitness minutes on the calendar box for a specific date's box and you'll be linked to see specifics.

Ever go to the computer after a busy day and wonder whether you tracked on your mobile or at all that day or some day last week? If you aren't sure you tracked exercise or foods, a quick look at your calendar will give you your answer. Even if you are checking some day last month or before that!

If you haven't checked out this calendar, I hope you'll take a few minutes to see whether it might be useful to you.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 4/27/2014 2:09AM

    Love the calendar.

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LIVENOW2012B 4/11/2014 5:54PM

    emoticon I knew that the calendar was available on the site, and was trying to find it! Thanks for posting the link!

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DDOORN 4/5/2014 4:05PM

    Love my Yahoo calendar, but perhaps I'll give this a whirl! :-)

Don

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GOANNA2 4/5/2014 7:50AM

    I just checked it Sam. Thanks for the reminder
that I need to use it. emoticon

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CATLADY52 4/4/2014 5:58PM

    I'll have to check it out. Thanks for the tip. emoticon

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LKWQUILTER 4/4/2014 7:48AM

    Thanks Sam. I had never seen my calendar.

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BABYSOX 4/4/2014 6:33AM

    I like to check this out sometimes. It can be very motivating.

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CATIATM 4/4/2014 1:21AM

    This is wonderful! Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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April 2 = the day to take a walk

Monday, March 31, 2014

Why?
April 2nd is the day the American Heart Association declared "National Walking Day".

So.
You gonna?
Hey, it's for your health.
No glitz. No glammor. Just... for... you.
Go for it.
I'm gonna.



www.startwalkingnow.org/about_start_
walking_day.jsp
emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 4/3/2014 3:28PM

    Great idea.

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STONE815 4/2/2014 4:32PM

    Took a walk outside - beautiful weather here today.

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DDOORN 4/2/2014 8:51AM

    Walk on! :-)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=
KfKIq1Pmc8Q

Don

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MEXGAL1 4/1/2014 7:55PM

    Geez, we are traveling and it will be hard as we hit the road early and are driving the blue ridge parkway in the mountains.
hope you have a nice walk.
Sallie

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COMPCHIC52 4/1/2014 1:15PM

    oh good reason to step on the treadmill that is one of my goals for april is to walk a mile 2 days a week so I will. emoticon

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LADYBUG1943 4/1/2014 10:04AM

    I'm with you too.... Gotta walk!

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GOANNA2 4/1/2014 9:57AM

    Yes, I would love it! emoticon

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DONNABRIGHT 4/1/2014 8:48AM

    Awesome idea - yes, I'll be out there walking!

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BUBBALOOGA123 4/1/2014 12:15AM

    Love it!! I'm with you. Let's walk! :)

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