Thursday, August 18, 2011
Know what always makes me laugh when I look at a SparkPage? Especially my own!?
That little sentence that appears at the bottom of the beginning of what we write if we write a lot. Chuckle every time I read mine, which says:
"Show less of GrandmaSam"
Well GEE, wouldn't it be nice!
And there's less of me!
Gotta love the idea.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Still in flare. Sometimes I get impatient waiting for these bouts of pain to end because life sort of gets put on hold.
That's why this morning I got up at 6 after not sleeping much, then decided at about 9am to hit the heat (use heating pad) on the wedge (pillow-ish wedge) on my bed. Fell asleep. Predictable, actually!
Awoke to doorbell. YIKES, I knew it was the UPS dude with my new printer ordered from HSN (wow, a great sale on exactly what I need WHEN I need it? amazing!). I flew to the door...and... sheesh... he was gone.
His truck was visible, making a delivery two buildings away in the complex. Oh no you don't! You can't get away from me that easily, buddy. You've got my printer on your truck and I WANT it! Now!
So. I turned around, grabbed purse and keys. locked door and hopped in my car. He was now delivering to yet another building. The guy was FAST! Hmmm.... The complex driveway is a circle with a straight driveway leading down the center and my door is right at the end of the central 'road'. So I decided to go straight and head him off as he exited the circular part to get back on the straight one because he had to get on it to get back onto the main road. Ut oh...!!
Razzlefratz!.... again!! (hey, it's better than curse words, right?)
He zipped right in front of me!!
I turned on my lights.
I flashed my high beams!
He... kept... going...!!!
And the impossible happened when he got to the end of the driveway/road:
there was a break in the heavy late morning traffic!
Not only that, but also.... he turned left!
LEFT, mind you! That is impossible during the day!
Oh man, oh man... my printer was escaping!
Now what would I do?! The road was full of cars in all directions.
Razzlefratz! A left turn at mid-day in heavy traffic?! Oy vey!
A second miracle occurred.
Cars in either lane made turns that are rarely made! Yipee!!
Yes! I saw a break in traffic and
shot out after the dude hauling my printer away from me.
HA, he'll never get away from me.
I had tossed me purse onto the passenger seat so fast that the 'passenger airbag off' warning was beaping. Man, this was drama. lol
He was right ahead of me. (Ok, dude, you can make that brown truck go fast but it's no competition for a sixty-one-year-old broad who wants her printer!). Luckily, he went only about a mile before turning into a driveway and luckily (again) there was a vacant lot with a driveway in it right next to that, so... I swooped in, threw the car into 'park', grabbed my trusty UPS 'we missed ya' sticky-note... and fast-walked to that truck 30 feet from my car.
He was already (! man, this dude's a fast-mover!) getting back into his driver's seat when I approached the truck!
I thrust the sticky note toward him and said: "I need my printer!" lol Anyway we chatted. He carried the box to my truck and put it in. I signed something and...
Now my printer's in its nice little box in my car trunk and... I can't lift it.
I texted my son at work and hope he can get it out for me tonight!
Hey, I've GOT my printer.
I feel like I conquered Mt. Everest.
Not bad for a flare day, huh?!!
The adrenoline was pumping throughout.
Sure am tempted to track it as cardio!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Most people hold deep convictions. On this or that topic. And in changing lifestyle, we develop strong convictions... about what is right for us as individuals. We grow at our own pace as life presents the lessons that nurture us. Learn the facts, analyze, decide, live. Some of us want to toe the line of perfection and others flow whichever way the breeze blows. And I think that's just fine. Cheer for those who make change. Hope for those still not trying.
"In the long run we shape our lives and we shape ourselves.
The process never ends until we die.
And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility."
Friday, August 05, 2011
Many people in my age group are able to fullfill dreams as they retire; they made plans and are able to check off dream-goals as they do them. Ok, that's great. But it doesn't work that way for everyone. Many of us had plans that had to be thrown out the window because life circumstances altered and we no longer could do what we put off. I'm such a person. Had lots of goals and plans and was working on them. But what I'm thinking of specifically right now is exercise. Activity!
I delayed plans to get involved in sports I'd wanted to do. Kayaking. Finding a local raquet club with winter courts when I moved to this region and left my former membership behind. Dumb. Delaying these things was downright dumb!!
You can adjust when your abilities suddenly are diminished by illness or disability. I have, for the most part. Instead of swimming laps at the lake I now do pool therapy in a 95 degree pool at a physical therapist's office. Sometimes before I get moving with my exercises I close my eyes and just feel how wonderful that water is! Not the same as churning through waves from a passing boat while I swam dock to dock to dock. It will never give me the same exquisite feel as did swimming laps and coming out feeling satisfactorily bushed. It's different. And I enjoy it for what it is.
It is important to really enjoy doing what we do for our exercise/activity. Seize the moment, breathe it in! Let those endorphins flow!
Yes, sometimes we have to adjust, but we CAN.
Before you reach the stage of adjusting to diminished abilities,
consider these words: Want to do it? Do it NOW.
These thoughts make me want to remind people who can do more.... to get out there and do activities. Maybe you don't know what to do. Start reading the local paper's calendar for ideas. Talk to friends; listen. Think. Don't put off learning to play a sport until you retire (or the kids grow up or whatever. Future plans sometimes become lost dreams when reality alters our lives. A healthy lifestyle includes a bit of living-for-the-moment attitude.
At least one enjoyable activity is out there for each of us. Exploring our options can be fun in itself! Never NEVER take for granted the ability to move your parts. Even if it's only a slow shuffle, being able to walk is so much nicer than not being able to do it. Being able to turn your head may seem trite to you, but if ever you've been unable to do it you'd realize that for some people it is a wonderful thrill to once again be able to do gentle exercises!
If you can do something, do it.
Choose activities you enjoy.
Don't think of them as chores.
Grab onto the thrill you get from moving those parts.
And to add a touch of foreboding?
Do it while you can.
Because maybe tomorrow you'll face a changed world the way I did.
If I could change anything about my pre-accident activity, it would have been that I'd have gone cross-country skiing when I moved here in 1988; instead I decided my priority was to work, complete degree work.... and put cross-country skiing on my list of retirement plans.
If you can do it and want to do it?
Grab on and enjoy.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
The frustration is annoying.
If anything I'm hypervigilant about my nutrition. On track.
And I'm pushing my admittedly pathetic limits on increasing exercise and general activity level. On track... well, according to ability, anyway.
The weight I gained in 92 and 93 just wants to stay on me. Lost a blog of pounds then mostly maintained, with the scale going up or down minutely from time to time.
Can you imagine how I envy people who are overweight because they are overeating, or eating unhealthy foods, or not exercising? To actually know you can make easy changes and see results does not make it an easy thing to do, but these folks do know they CAN lose the weight. At one time I thought so, too. Now I know it's possible, but... the answer doesn't seem to fit any healthy weightloss plan. My RD insists I must eat at least 1200 calories a day and I struggle to get that much. She set my actual range to be 1300-1500, but I just do not want to eat that much.
While I'm not really all that excited about 'becoming thin/ner' for reason of appearance, I do want to be thinner for the purpose of health improvement. I am certain that my fibromyalgia and arthritis pains would ease up if the pound numbers went down.
My weight has been about the same for .... oh heck: ages!! it seems!, although I'm almost hyper vigilant about my foods. This is not a 'plateau'. It's been too long, and my overall results just do not reflect how little I eat, how much I'm going outside my 'comfort zone' to increase my activity, do exercises.
The part that is hardest is that I don't think anyone believes me. That means that when I seek advice, they tell me to do what I'm already doing. If my dietician can't help me make radical changes in this 'healthy' plan, then I'm going off-track with a non-healthy plan of my own. According to what I've been doing I should (?) have lost a lot of weight. So why is my entire life focussed on doing what is 'right' when it makes no difference?!?
Yes, I'm frustrated. I know that I am eating in a healthy, balanced way. My exercise level has increased dramatically. But what bugs me isn't really the lack of visible progress (ie weight-loss). Nope. What truly bugs me is that people think I'm lying. I don't lie, so... that really hurts.
If I could change anything in my life by genie magic, I'd have left for work 15 minutes before I did on November 20, 1992. Then? I'd not be writing this particular blog. I would be at work, in the position gotten after completing work on the degree for which I was matriculating at the time of the accident that day. And on weekends, I'd be swimming laps in the summer, cross-country skiing in the winter. But I left home on time that day, my car was hit head-on by a truck while I was stopped at an intersection next to my house, and everything changed. Call it metabolism. Call it not being active enough. Doesn't matter. The fact is that I just don't understand how the pounds added in those first 3 months of disability refuse to go away.
There. I have vented my frustration.
Will I find the key to unlock this? I don't know. I don't quit trying though. Am now adding 1/2 teaspoon L-Leucine (amino acid) to my instant breakfast (or Ensure) meal before I exercise. This according to my research and okayed by my doc SHOULD help the way the exercise and protein interact.
I know this sounds like a negative posting. Heck. It IS.
But. I keep working harder. Keep learning. Keep improving.
My theme song, reworded from the original, is "I shall overcome".
I'm still working to kick my problems with total lifestyle changes that I am making on the lifestyle that changed with disability. The health issues are at the heart of it, but that is not an excuse. Just a whole pile of hurdles to keep untangling so I can jump over them. One at a time, I've been making huge lifestyle changes. So I feel truly GOOD about that aspect. But I'm on track...with...no....results. Something is amiss. Must find a way to unlock whatever holds me in place.
Not sure what the key is.
But I'm going to find it. Stay tuned.
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