Wow, total change in my life, am I ready for this???

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I know I haven't blogged for a while and I haven't been doing everything I normally do on SP but this time its not because I have fallen off the wagon, in actual fact my food intake has been really good, maybe sometimes too little... But there is a reason for this, I met a man!
I have been single since May 2010 when the father of my kids and I split up. I was not looking for love, it found me. We met a while ago on a website that you can give things away for free and we just chatted for a while via mails and then via Facebook and then via texts and eventually via phone calls... We met a few weeks ago and there was just this huge current between us... I have never experienced anything like this and to be honest it scares me!!!!!
Him and his wife are separated and as of today will be living in separate houses... I am nervous as he is meeting my kids for the first time today (we are telling them we are just friends until they are used to the idea of seeing him around)
I do know that we need to be together to see where this leads but I am scared, its been over a year since I have had a relationship and the last time I entered a relationship I WAS NOT a mother. It scares me because of the strong feelings I have for him in such a short space of time, it scares me because I still ask myself how can he want me??????
I ate breakfast before I got a call from him asking if he could see me today and meet my kids. I am now feeling sick to my stomach, I am trying to prepare my kids, luckily they are very young so don't understand, I am petrified of entering another relationship and getting hurt...
I know this blog is all over the place but thats where I am right now, all over the place!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSESTARS 7/19/2011 9:44AM

Sounds promising! But you can never go wrong by taking it sl-o-o-o-o-w-w-w......slow is good. He is still married. You are still healing from your last relationship. His relationship needs to be good and over before he is ready for you. Before he is ready to become a part of your life, a part of your children's life. I would actually wait until he is divorced before having him meet your children. My two cents! What concerns me most is how you would even question why he would want you?????? You MUST believe in how wonderful YOU are!! You are a catch!!!! And ONLY have him meet your children when you are relaxed, comfortable and READY to have him meet your children. Your intuition may be kicking in and telling you the time is not right if you are so nervous. Listen to that. Best wishes and LOVE to you!!!! Blessings, Rose Report Inappropriate Comment

MAHEDAGO 7/19/2011 5:21AM

YEah take it easy and enjoy the moment, dont sell yourself short and who knows where this may lead..... Report Inappropriate Comment

SADOLPHINGIRL 7/19/2011 4:37AM

Thanks Sheila, I think I am freaking out a bit, I am sure everything will be ok but I am just SO nervous... lol Report Inappropriate Comment

SHEILA1505 7/19/2011 4:31AM

B.R.E.A.T.H.E. Take it gently - enjoy the Now! Good luck xxx Report Inappropriate Comment

Anybody know how to turn that nagging voice off?

Friday, July 01, 2011

Wow, I can't believe its just short of 3 months since my last blog. I have no excuse for it!
I strayed from SP for a while, seems like I keep doing it... I have been back here for over a week now and its been a good week. I lost almost 10lb in weight, I am starting to feel better about myself and I am back on track with my goals.
I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself, its like when things are going right there is something within me that doesn't like it and will keep nagging until I give in and eat those donuts or all the kids chocolates or whatever I can get my hands on... All I want to do is lose weight, feel good about myself, be able to be fit with my kids and hopefully, maybe even find someone I can share my life with again!
So if there is anybody out there that has been able to switch that nagging voice off please let me know what to do, I don't like hearing that voice!

Happy 4th July to all my American friends!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COMPUCATHY 7/15/2011 7:53AM

You just have to change the voice to an encouraging voice that tells you that you are awesome...that you can do thiis...that you are a healthy eater and care about your health more than you care about food indulgences. You can do it! Hope you have a great weekend. Look for those unexpected blessings and I'm sure you'll find them! Thank you for your encouragement on my blog! I appreciate your encouragement! Spark on! Report Inappropriate Comment

CARAMELPHOENIX 7/1/2011 2:57PM

Jessica hit on some good points. Im in the beginning, so that nagging voice is louder than a mother right now. lol I noticed what helps me is to watch documentaries on health, and watch other people work on their journey (like "Heavy"...there are free full episodes at www.aetv.com/heavy). Its very eye opening and it shows me that I'm only human. I will mess up. You don't drown by falling into water, you drown by staying down there. You are still on here, which means you don't give up . Be easy on yourself. Shiz happens. Just get back up and keep going, for your health. There's no harm in trying. you got this! lets grow together! Report Inappropriate Comment

SADOLPHINGIRL 7/1/2011 1:08PM

Thanks Jessica, gonna try that starting now because I am on a bit of a high at the moment with my good weight loss for the week. Just hate it that every time I seem to be doing really well something comes along and breaks it all up, NOT THIS TIME THOUGH! Report Inappropriate Comment

JESSICA2140 7/1/2011 12:57PM

You have to learn how to make your "good" internal dialog louder than the "bad"! For me, it iinvolves A LOT of happy dances over my successes...I've been choosing to focus on the good of my day, rather than the bad! The good feelings I get from doing "right" have become my new addiction...I want to keep getting those good feelings, so I keep doing well! When you have negative thoughts, you've got to try to dissect them...and believe that no matter how bad things are/were, junk food is not going to make you feel better!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

On the journey of getting healthy AGAIN

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Well I am starting all over AGAIN after letting my self so AGAIN!

I am turning 30 in September, I have a spa night planned with some of my girlfriends and I want to be able to wrap the dressing gown around myself! I want to be able to wear my swim costume in front of my friends and not feel horrible (everybody going has stunning figures).
So after saying that I plan on losing 27kg by September 1st. Once I have reached that goal I will set another goal. I don't know what I want my final weight to be, I don't even want to think that far. I am going to make smaller goals for myself and work that way.

Monday I start my new food plan. I was advised by my trainer to eat something every 2-3 hours so I can get my metabolism going again. I haven't tried that so decided to give it a go.
Tuesday I meet with my personal trainer and we are going to have a good work out.

When I reach certain goals I will post pics...

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUZSUZ 4/4/2011 10:23AM

goals! Report Inappropriate Comment

MOONSTORMER 4/4/2011 6:04AM

excellent that you have some professional advise in how to reach your goals! eating often is definitely a big help! i try to keep apples or other easy fruit around so that i can have them as a snack. apples, bananas, oranges - all easy to transport and excellent snacks. just keep working at it. as long as you stay committed you will get there! perhaps have a count down or some kind of visual reminder of WHY you are doing this - necessary for those days we all have when we lose hope and forget why we are doing this in the first place! Report Inappropriate Comment

SADOLPHINGIRL 4/4/2011 3:19AM

Hi Sheila, Will send you a mail, lots happening!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

SHEILA1505 4/4/2011 2:23AM

Hi there - long time, no see How are things with job, real life friends, kids, coping with winter and looking forward to Spring??? Glad to see that you that you have a timeline for your goals and hope that good health is priority number 1? Keep in touch - and keep on keeping on Hugs Report Inappropriate Comment

RUNNERRACHEL 4/3/2011 3:55PM

First of all, Second, I turned thirty last year and it is a great celebration you have planned (and a great goal to go along with it!) Third, eating every few hours is a great idea. My favorite snacks are apple and 2 tbsp peanut butter and plain low-fat yogurt with berries. Sometimes, I drink a protein shake or have a protein bar in between meals. Fourth, that's great that you have a personal trainer to work with! Enjoy the workouts and keep up the great work! And once again, remember, Report Inappropriate Comment

Sunday 30 January 2011 - summary of the good things for January 2011

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Well its been a long time since I have blogged, not good but I am back and going to try and do it on a regulare basis.
I went off the rails for a while but glad I have found myself again and back on this site which I believe it or not missed!!! I am not going to go into the reasons for going off the rails or any of that as I am not going to look in the past but rather concentrate on the future and what it will bring!
So here is a short summary of the good things that have happened in the month of January:
1. I started a new job - work 5 days a week now but I am earning more and I am home earlier so have got a good bedtime routine going again with the kids. The job is only for 3 months initially but hopefully the contract will be extended...
2. I bought a shed and it is now erected in my back garden. This means that my house is being decluttered and I am loving it! It is kind of like my life which is being decluttered which can only be a good thing!
3. I had a total drastic new hair do - I now have curly hair! It was about 10 years since i have permed my hair and I am loving it! I will take pics soon and post them on here.
4. I have found SP again and I am working towards making myself healthier and slimmer. This is a biggie as it is my 30th this year and i DON'T want to be a biggie all my life!
5. I have found some real good friends who I have become really close to. I can talk to them about anything and its great to know that i have this once again!

Now to start looking forward to February and all that it will bring!!!

Bye for now
xxx

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUZSUZ 1/30/2011 12:24PM

Good job! Report Inappropriate Comment

SADOLPHINGIRL 1/30/2011 10:29AM

Hiya Sheila, Thanks for your comments! Missed you guys too!!! Things are very busy but good and I am really enjoying things at the moment. I know there will be tough and trying times but I am sure I will get through them and be a stronger person for it!!! Chat soon xxx Report Inappropriate Comment

SHEILA1505 1/30/2011 10:16AM

Delighted to hear from you again and the positive lilt to your voice! Glad the job is going well and helping establish routine with the kids etc Good to have found some real life friends and also that you are back with your cyber friends - missed you! Report Inappropriate Comment

Saturday 8th January - what an interesting weekend it is turning out to be...

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Well I don't know where the confidence came to do it but I did - I joined an online dating site. I even posted a pic of me. Now I am a big girl and I have become ok with it but I am still changing it as i don't always want to be the big girl! Last night when I was bored I decided to do up a profile, when I checked it I had 2 messages. This was before I put up a pic of myself. I replied to the one message as the other one is just too old. After replying I found an ok pic of me and added it to my profile. When I checked this eve I saw I had new mail, a reply from the one that I replied to and he even complimented me on my profile and pic! Now I know that this might not be a biggie for some people but it is to me as my confidence was seriously knocked when my ex and I parted our ways in May and because I am a big girl I don't have the best self esteem either!
All I am hoping to gain from joining this site is to meet some people and get more friends. If I find something more then that will just be an added bonus but I am definately not looking...

On another note, I start my new job on Monday and I am psyched! I have already started to get my kiddies back into their proper night time routine. I know it will take a bit of time before everything settles but I feel that I am making a step in the right direction. All I am hoping and praying is that this job will be longer than the 3 months or if it isn't then something better will come along, something that will suit me and the kids and still pay the bills.

Tomorrow is just going to be a chilled day and a day to get the house in shape.

Til then...

... Keep on sparking!!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHEILA1505 1/9/2011 7:21AM

:)) Good luck with this - sounds promising - lots of possibilities for friendships and rebuilding self-confidence Wrote a blog the other day about my old school friend (1960s UK) who met an English man online and after a while they met, spent a couple of months getting to know each other, then he brought her to South Africa to his holiday home. They came to me for lunch one day and I visited them on top of the Helderberg on Wednesday in steaming heat. He's a nice guy and I hope that it works out - she is besotted! Hugs and good luck with the new job tomorrow Report Inappropriate Comment

SADOLPHINGIRL 1/9/2011 5:34AM

Thanks for all the comments guys! It is amazing how many people join these type of sites and actually find love! I don't think I am ready to love somebody yet but I do feel that I am ready for friendship and maybe even a date or two! Will keep you posted on what happens: good, bad and ugly... lol Report Inappropriate Comment

MOONSTORMER 1/9/2011 4:35AM

my fiance and i met in real life through a friend. after we had been dating for a month or so, he told me that he had actually been checking me out on a dating site we were both on and had only just realized that i was that person. so funny! we were both on okcupid, and were both in the top 5 matches for each other in the region. so i guess okcupid wasn't too far off... we still sometimes laugh about it, and wonder if we would have met sooner if either of us had actually messaged and said hi and met for coffee... congrats on the compliment! always nice to be complimented, especially by strangers. Report Inappropriate Comment

SACURVESGIRL 1/8/2011 11:42PM

I met my husband on a dating site in 2002. We were both only looking for friendship and had a few coffee meetups and chatted on the phone for months. It's important I think to not be looking for your Mr Right when you join a site like that. Just take each day as it comes and see what happens. 2011 - we have been married for 7 years and are very happy :) Both of us talk about that site we joined and how strange it is that we were both only looking for friendship at the time. Very happy for you my friend that you have taken this big step. I hope you find some amazing people to share your life with... friendship or otherwise. Lots of love x x x Report Inappropriate Comment

DOWNTOWNJEN 1/8/2011 4:39PM

Wow - that's a big step - I'm so happy for you! Sounds like things are looking UP! YES! Report Inappropriate Comment

DMGODDESS 1/8/2011 3:50PM

Too Cool! I hope all works out for you! Report Inappropriate Comment