Friday, June 29, 2012
This morning I woke up from a dream in which I was trying (somewhat futilely) to organize a gathering of young men. I think it involved campus ministry. They kept needing to change times & places, so we would start to meet & then people would drift away with promises to return.
Frustrating, but the worst part was that I was providing SWEETS for every single partial/failed meeting! & eating them myself. I woke up feeling chagrined & a bit helpless. And bloated!
Has anybody else cut back on sugar & then suddenly dreamed about desserts?
As for what the dream means, I'm not sure. I really have been avoiding sweets except the honey on my cereal, & in a bit of homemade yogurt twice this week, & reduced-sugar jam on toast maybe twice. I'm eating these as parts of meals, not snacks. I miss chocolate, but I don't sit around thinking about it.
Maybe it's a "too much to do" dream (I ALWAYS have too much to do) & the sweet stuff symbolizes fears of wasting time.
Hmmmmm . . .
By the way, does anybody know that this SP emoticon stands for? Bad hair day?? So weird, heehee!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
I spent last week in Cambridge & Boston, staying with friends & attending a writers' workshop with them. It's a wonderful community of "socially conscious" writers, mostly poets; this was the fourth time I had attended, & the best one ever! After being exposed to some strategies for writing about very difficult, painful events/conditions, I experienced a breakthrough--I wrote a poem about an occasion of terrible violence in Colombia that I hadn't ever even tried to put into a poem before. I read it aloud in tears, & others wept too.
I came home late last night with four new poems & two translations of others' poems (I'm really interested in poetry translation, & a translation class is always included in the workshop). I'm so happy!
And this morning I weighed exactly the same as when I had left! Normally I gain a bit of weight when I travel because of meals out & more treats than usual & so on. Last week I did eat out several evenings with my friends & bought cafeteria lunches four times, & I allowed myself some sweets (I won't get my travel-savings reward this week--gotta stick to my personal rules!). So why didn't I gain anything? I think there were a couple of reasons.
1. Three of the four cafeteria lunches were from the salad bar: big green salads with other veggies, some plain tuna, some chickpeas, & just a bit of good dressing, plus water to drink.
2. Once the workshop started, there really wasn't time to get up & exercise in the morning before shower & breakfast. But during downtime in the afternoons I went out on the campus & walked around for good chunks of time. And every time except one coming home on the T (subway), I walked up the three escalators to ground level, & two of them are quite steep/long. It was very challenging & made me feel quite virtuous.
3. At a Chinese restaurant last night, there were 11 of us at one big round table & we ordered 8 different dishes & shared them. I took just a little brown rice, I think about 1/2 cup, & I ate a bit of every dish, but only about a serving spoonful of each. And my only beverage was water. So it was varied & satisfying, but not a big pile of food.
I am HUGELY motivated to make the new 5% challenge a success! If I can take 8.4 lbs off in the next 8 weeks, which seems doable with my new strategy of self-discipline & travel-savings rewards (aka caring for my inner baby), I will have reached my goal weight, yay! I will be a skinny Starfish.
Saturday, June 09, 2012
I got on the scale today for the first time in a few weeks, & my weight is already down a couple of pounds! I'm higher than I was at the end of the last challenge, but not much at all. Considering how badly my inner child was acting out for a while there, I'm very happy to be solidly back on track now.
Periodically I still get sweet cravings, but I just remind myself about saving for travel & it's not hard to ride them out. I have now saved two weeks' worth of vacation rewards, yay! (See my previous blog post if you have no idea what I'm talking about.)
The weather is helping me out--it's been beautiful here in Chicago & I have gotten TONS of exercise this week compared to my usual level. Today I walked nearly 4 miles on various errands. I also wrote my syllabus for the grammar/punctuation class I'll be teaching in July (whew--big relief to get that done), did all my laundry, changed my bedsheets, made a new batch of muesli, made a simple veggie pizza for supper (pretty cool that I can throw in fresh basil that I'm growing on the porch, plus dried oregano from last year's planting), & put together veggie chili using kidney beans I had cooked & frozen awhile back--that's still simmering on the stove.
Oh, & I impressed & amused myself with my final errand: I lugged a couple of bags (slung on my shoulders) from Dominick's, nearly a mile away, & they were HEAVY! When I got home I set them on the scale & learned that they added up to 27 pounds. No wonder it was a struggle! I had walked as fast as I could & passed most other people on the sidewalks.
I'm pleased to be going into the upcoming 5% challenge already on a roll! Yay !
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
I'm periodically craving something sweet--but as you know, my Grand Plan involves saving for travel, & I've made that dependent on mostly avoiding sugar as well as exercising & eating within my range, so I can't just indulge in sweet things when it takes my fancy.
I've discovered a substitute that serves me very well--sweet READING! Over the weekend I stumbled onto a fun book I hadn't remembered I had, & I just finished devouring it tonight. Yes, "devouring" is really the right word. It felt deliciously decadent to read this book instead of something more serious.
I am a pretty serious person & have a LONG list of Good (Serious) Books to Read. And in the past month or two I have read mostly very good, interesting novels set in wartime--various wars, various parts of the world. I'm glad I read them, but I kinda overdid the heaviness.
What book did I find sweet, you ask? It's Jane and the Man of the Cloth, by Stephanie Barron--a murder mystery starring Jane Austen, written very much in her style & set in her lifetime in parts of England where she lived or traveled. So much fun!
It's second in a series. So now I have put the first & third volumes on my library hold list. The sweet binge will continue--without messing up my calorie/carb count at all.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
My inner child, the part of me that fiercely needs pleasure & soothing & fun, has been acting out lately: too many sweets, not enough exercise, too little long-term thinking. I haven't weighed myself recently to see the results--I've been afraid to! It has been really hard to rein in the baby part of me.
But this morning I awoke in the midst of a dream in which I was helping to care for a whole slew of little kids, & (upon awaking, not in the dream) I knew it was time to care for my "inner baby." Just as my little granddaughter cries when she's denied something, but deep down feels more secure because her parents are keeping her safe, my inner child really needs limits AND comfort at the same time.
I've been thinking about my long-term dreams--my birthday is in July, & I'll be 58, only 12 years from retirement. (Yes, I'll be waiting till 70 to retire if my health permits, so as to be in a better financial position.) After I finish paying off that nasty debt X left me with (about 3.5 years from now), I want to travel overseas frequently. But even before then, by putting aside a little $$ each month, I think I can afford a special trip once a year.
So I'm going to link that to my SP goals & satisfy my inner baby (who LOVES traveling) this way:
1. No sweets beyond the honey or brown sugar on my breakfast cereal, plus fruit, 6 days a week
2. Eat within range 6 days a week
3. Exercise at least 150 minutes a week (= 30 minutes 5x, but I can do less some days & more other days to reach this total)
4. Each Saturday, IF I have met those goals, transfer $25 to savings for vacation travel!
My inner baby likes this plan! Of course sometimes she won't, when a big soft cookie is within reach & she's craving it . . . but self-reminders that I am giving her something else (travel) that she loves will soothe her. I will think of other healthy day-to-day rewards, too, anytime my inner baby seems especially vulnerable.
I think I need to make a double bar chart, one bar showing debt paydown & the other showing vacation savings. Watching the numbers growing will be fun for my inner child! And so will watching the scale numbers go DOWN.
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