Friday, March 09, 2012
I confess that I haven't been fulfilling the mandate to record all my ingestion of sugar & how I'm feeling / what I'm doing when I get sugar cravings. And this post is just a swipe at it because I have to pack for my trip tomorrow to celebrate my granddaughter's first birthday! & there are umpteen things I need to finish first, & I'm going to work a full day before taking off, so that Monday can be a comp day for my trip home.
I've eaten the same breakfast each day since I joined the challenge: a half-cup of my homemade oat-nut-raisin muesli (which I make without any sweeteners) with a quarter-cup of blueberries, a sliced banana, about 1 tsp. cinnamon, & about 2 tsp. honey. With skim milk, & sometimes a couple of clementines. I love a fruity breakfast, & this breakfast includes good fats & fiber & calcium as well as the various vitamins.
My lunch has been great too; I've heated up homemade red lentil - cauliflower - coconut curry over about 1/4 cup of spinach basmati rice (the latter left over from a delicious Indian restaurant meal on Tuesday). Plus half-cup nonfat cottage cheese plus a couple of clementines or an apple.
For supper I'm also eating the same thing each night--I don't mind repeating foods AT ALL when they're so yummy! This one is a lentil-barley-carrot stew made by my housemate, with a slice of toasted 100% w/w bread. And last night I added broccoli & mushrooms. I end with some chunks of papaya.
Beverages: besides the skim milk for breakfast, water & herbal tea the rest of the day. Except tonight--see below.
Sugar additions: When I'm in the office I nab several animal crackers late in the day--one of the tech guys keeps a bowl of them out. But I haven't gone down to the vending machine for a Snickers, so that's good. At home after dinner each night I've eaten a bar of the hard Colombian chocolate, 110 calories. AND tonight with supper I drank one of the delicious green tea ginger ales a friend left here last week. I never buy soda, so I drink it only a few times a year, literally--but I really like this variety! It's 130 calories.
Anyway, one clear thing: I get sugar cravings every single afternoon between 3:00 & 4:00--but if I'm really busy I don't go out of my way to satisfy them. Maybe those few animal crackers, but if I can get past 4:00 without a candy bar, I don't feel so much need after that. I think including the cottage cheese in my lunch helps, as it keeps me feeling full longer.
As you can see, my basic diet is SUPER healthy & nutritious. Looking it over, what I think I need to do is ditch the animal crackers (they're not yummy enough to waste calories on) & reserve the Colombian chocolate & ginger ale as once-weekly treats. But because this IS a stressful time in my life (I had a rather intense e-mail discussion this morning with my lawyer about what kind of settlement to propose to my ex's lawyer--I'm sticking to my guns & being assertive, but I'm being realistic & flexible too!), I need to be doing nice things for myself on a regular basis. I've been learning to think of myself as a person I need to nurture--as if I were someone else! So what are some fun, easily accessible things I can do to substitute for a sugar dose?
That's the question I'll be mulling over in the next few days--while I'm negotiating the sweets involved in birthday celebration & nice things my daughter-in-law bakes because Grandma is visiting. I'll try to be mindful!
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
That's what my SP quiz results told me. If I have sugary stuff in the house, it's hard to stay away from it. That's why I usually don't have it at home (or just have something I don't overindulge on, like some hard Colombian chocolate that I just eat a 110-calorie chunk of). But of course there are often sweets at work or at church or at special gatherings, & then it's hard to resist. Or I go downstairs & get a candy bar from the vending machine. Also, sometimes people give me sweet treats as a gift.
I've joined the Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge & am looking forward to loosening sugar's grip on me! In my next "sugar blog" I'll think about the reasons to cut back.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Pretty much everything I'm doing right now, outside of work & the labor of pulling together documents for discovery, is focused on self-care. There are a few exceptions (leading my church small group the 1st & 3rd Thursday evenings of the month, for example), but those really are few. I've now actually watched a Netflix film each weekend for three weeks running. I've made really good healthy food in batches. I've had long conversations with a couple of my sisters & initiated get-togethers with a couple of friends I don't often see. For example, last week I got two-for-one tickets for a friend & me to see a FABULOUS play based on Richard Wright's novel Native Son, which I hadn't read since college.
To be honest, some of what I'm doing is self-INDULGENCE & not really self-care. Like last night I finally baked the cookie mix that my friend had made & given me as a Christmas present--& I ate a bunch of the dough & then ate 2-3 of the cookies themselves, way more sugar than I needed. In general I've been eating way more sugar than I should. And I haven't been getting enough exercise. It's showing on the scale.
The discovery is combining a great sadness (the failure of my marriage) with two of my anxieties (finances & paperwork--I am really quite disorganized). So it's not surprising that I'm getting confused about what will make me feel better AND be good for me vs. what will be briefly comforting but not serve me in the long run.
I'm not going to beat up on myself--that's the LAST thing I need at the moment. But I especially want to get back to regular exercise, as it's endorphin-producing & strengthening & good in every other way. It will be easy to do this next Thursday through Monday, when I'm flying out to LA to spend time with two sisters & celebrate the birthday of one of them--weather will be more amenable & we've made plans for a hike & a bike ride. Until then, I may be putting in more long hours with this paperwork--lots of photocopying lies ahead, for instance. But I am really going to try not to stay up late unless it's essential to get the paperwork done.
This too shall pass. And I will try not to harm my body in the interim.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
The cooking on Saturday really helped me make it through the day. I didn't get to ALL the items on my "records to print" list, but I did most of them--& I cooked food in amazing quantities! I do love to cook, so that helped me feel better.
The rest of the weekend, though, was kinda grim emotionally. Sunday night I had very nasty insomnia--the anxiety kind.
But God found my emotional reset button on Monday & helped me to push it. Something that my lawyer said in an e-mail helped me remember that though X's lawyer is using tactics of overwhelming (asking for WAY more years of records than is appropriate), assembling these records is something I'm doing FOR MYSELF. They will end up showing that I've been telling the truth. I am fighting for justice here, & it's what I SHOULD be doing.
That day an old friend & my older sister both confirmed this reframing of the task. It helps so much!
Now I feel energy to see this all the way through. Lots more papers to print out, or to obtain from the bank or my workplace HR department: I will track them ALL down & use them to further my case. I'm even going to find some old e-mails showing that I was never comfortable with or accepting of X's failure to work. X is twisting the truth in this regard & saying that I only became concerned about it shortly before he moved out. It's rather breathtaking how he's messing with the truth, in fact--& my lawyer says we will keep this from being just my word against his. I'll show proof!
I have to supply these documents by late February, so getting them together is my main goal for this month. I'm going to ramp up exercise too, because it's the best thing to do with this adrenaline!
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