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I have situational struggles with sugar.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

That's what my SP quiz results told me. If I have sugary stuff in the house, it's hard to stay away from it. That's why I usually don't have it at home (or just have something I don't overindulge on, like some hard Colombian chocolate that I just eat a 110-calorie chunk of). But of course there are often sweets at work or at church or at special gatherings, & then it's hard to resist. Or I go downstairs & get a candy bar from the vending machine. Also, sometimes people give me sweet treats as a gift.

I've joined the Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge & am looking forward to loosening sugar's grip on me! In my next "sugar blog" I'll think about the reasons to cut back.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN_NY 3/8/2012 1:58PM

    Hi Ruth!!! How are you? I joined this challenge too, and the quiz told me my sugarlove is situational as well. The thing is, my "situations" are not the same ones danger zone is made of [alone + (bored or frustrated)]. When I'm in a social setting, I am usually talking too much to eat, lol!

Cheers to you,

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 3/8/2012 1:11PM

    I definitely have a sweet tooth, too, but I have been OK at curbing it when I really concentrate on why I'm craving it (if my body is telling me I need sugar, I grab a piece of fruit). When I do indulge I make sure it's WORTH it and not just some crappy stale cookie!

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TINKMCD 3/8/2012 9:48AM

    Good for you for joining this challenge. I have struggled on and off with this: last spring and summer I was scarfing down 2 donuts virtually every time I passed the Tim Hortons that's on my way between home and the hospital where I was volunteering 2 or 3 days a week.

Interestingly, I find that whenever I'm eating healthfully in general (which certainly wasn't the case last year), I have no cravings for extra sweets--*or* for the potato chips, fries, and buttery croissants that are an even bigger pitfall for me. (Come to think of it, even the donut craving was probably more about grease than about sweetness.) My interest in empty calories simply evaporates. I don't even have to avoid walking past unhealthful goodies at the store.

Dr. Oz believes that many of us overeat because our bodies are trying to compensate for how poorly nourished we are by our basic daily diet. Certainly seems to be accurate for me.

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BEATLETOT 3/8/2012 8:34AM

    Oh, sugar...

I've always been more of a salty treats kinda gal, but I will say that whenever I get a little taste or a hankerin' for sugar, it is a compulsion, in a very different way than with salty snacks.

I couldn't figure out how to look at the boards of that challenge without joining, so I didn't, but you'll have to let me know how it goes!!!

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CTEMPLE 3/8/2012 4:33AM

    I can't cut back, for me it's a trigger food, I have to abstain. Soon it will be one year that I quit sugar ( with 4 relapses that lasted half an hour).
A good reason to cut back is a desire to be free of the prison a compulsion brings along. Others are the health benefits and the financial ones as well: less doctors less, dentists. The pros are huge, but then again you might not eat enough of it to notice the difference, I did. Less anxiety and less muscular pain.

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MTULLY 3/8/2012 2:09AM

    Like you, I find it is better if I just don't have the sugary stuff in the house. As long as I don't have access to it, I do just fine. Unfortunately, there are times and places where I do have access, and most of the time that presents a challenge. I think I should be checking out that Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge myself!

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SHANSHE 3/7/2012 9:52PM

    Hmmm, sounds like a really good challenge!

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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

It's a bit ironic that this week's interim 5% challenge is putting in adequate sleep hours--just when my task of assembling all this discovery paperwork has kept me up VERY late each night. Monday night I got only 4.5 hours of sleep, last night a little over 5. That is super-unusual for me, & not fun at all, but it was necessary to pull everything together.

Early this morning I carted a file box about half full of papers on the L all the way to my lawyer's office in the Loop.


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

When I scheduled my trip for the end of this week, I had no idea that it would come right after I finished a marathon month of assembling paperwork. But I'm SO thankful! My sisters & I have planned some really lovely times together, including a birthday party for one of them & a hike in a state park. And I'm going to sleep sleep sleep! emoticon ZZzZzzzZzzzzz ...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN_NY 3/8/2012 2:05PM

    Sugar shmugar... I hope you've been celebrating every day since. ;)

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AMYLONGHORN 2/23/2012 3:55PM

    At least you had something to look forward to after you got all that paperwork together!! I'm sure you're *exhausted* and you totally deserve some time off to enjoy your sisters! Hopefully you can catch up on your sleep before your trip so you can spend TONS of quality time with your sisters!! ENJOY!!!

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SHANSHE 2/23/2012 12:15PM

    Be careful but have fun with your sisters and hope you catch up on your sleep dearie. Glad you are DONE with all that time-consuming, "wipe you out" paperwork!

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ACCEPTHECHLNGE 2/22/2012 11:34PM

    Safe travels. Enjoy your time with your sisters.
I am in So. CA at the moment, also. We had 82* in the CA desert, today. I can't wait for summer in the NV High Desert, where I live. We still have not had any kind of winter.

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CTEMPLE 2/22/2012 5:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Congrats on a cumbersome job done, dear Ruthie.
Have a great time!

Comment edited on: 2/22/2012 5:59:43 PM

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BABY_GIRL69 2/22/2012 5:43PM

    You deserve some rest & you gotta take care of you. So enjoy your visit & don't over do it.

God bless Ruth! Have a safe trip.


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BEATLETOT 2/22/2012 2:27PM

    I haven't been posting for the challenge this week. I'm feeling a little bad, but I will probably soon.

Have fun with your sisters!!!

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It's just hard

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Pretty much everything I'm doing right now, outside of work & the labor of pulling together documents for discovery, is focused on self-care. There are a few exceptions (leading my church small group the 1st & 3rd Thursday evenings of the month, for example), but those really are few. I've now actually watched a Netflix film each weekend for three weeks running. I've made really good healthy food in batches. I've had long conversations with a couple of my sisters & initiated get-togethers with a couple of friends I don't often see. For example, last week I got two-for-one tickets for a friend & me to see a FABULOUS play based on Richard Wright's novel Native Son, which I hadn't read since college.

To be honest, some of what I'm doing is self-INDULGENCE & not really self-care. Like last night I finally baked the cookie mix that my friend had made & given me as a Christmas present--& I ate a bunch of the dough & then ate 2-3 of the cookies themselves, way more sugar than I needed. In general I've been eating way more sugar than I should. And I haven't been getting enough exercise. It's showing on the scale.

The discovery is combining a great sadness (the failure of my marriage) with two of my anxieties (finances & paperwork--I am really quite disorganized). So it's not surprising that I'm getting confused about what will make me feel better AND be good for me vs. what will be briefly comforting but not serve me in the long run.

I'm not going to beat up on myself--that's the LAST thing I need at the moment. But I especially want to get back to regular exercise, as it's endorphin-producing & strengthening & good in every other way. It will be easy to do this next Thursday through Monday, when I'm flying out to LA to spend time with two sisters & celebrate the birthday of one of them--weather will be more amenable & we've made plans for a hike & a bike ride. Until then, I may be putting in more long hours with this paperwork--lots of photocopying lies ahead, for instance. But I am really going to try not to stay up late unless it's essential to get the paperwork done.

This too shall pass. And I will try not to harm my body in the interim.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN_NY 3/8/2012 2:04PM

    This is an old blog and I'm just checking in to catch up, but I wanted to say... your strength and grace is beautiful.
Be well,

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BABY_GIRL69 2/22/2012 12:53AM

    Well if you ever wanna go to Garretts pick up some popcorn & sneak into Webster theater just to enjoy a night out, I'm your girl. I know how you are feeling as I went through the same thing 2years ago. Me & hubs have separated 2x but this time we decided we loved each other too much to let go. So we got counseling & we work like dogs to make it work. I sometimes feel start to have those feelings & I'm rendered helpless. So let me know.

God bless & (((HUGS)))!!!


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SHANSHE 2/21/2012 10:07AM

    Hang in there, get back to the exercise and just LOVE yourself and do the best you can. This IS a very hard time in your life, but the better you take care of you, the better you will feel.
Hugs and prayers,

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BEATLETOT 2/21/2012 9:02AM

    Aren't sisters the BEST?! Enjoy them!

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REBECCATKD 2/20/2012 9:57PM

    Yes, it is hard...and you are strong. Keep working out and when this passes, you will be faster, stronger, and free.

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/20/2012 5:32PM

    Start back on the exercise and I think you will feel back to your "old" self before you know it. Take care of yourself :)

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RUNNERRACHEL 2/20/2012 1:06PM

    I think it's easy to slide into comforting (especially sweet) food. I did that over the holidays. Baking can be really therapeutic. You do need to take care of yourself. I think that it will take some adjustment and you'll feel better.

You'll be in my neck of the woods! emoticon

Take care and I pray God will help you feel comforted

emoticon emoticon

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CTEMPLE 2/19/2012 11:04PM

    I don't know why we do it, but we tend to resist doing things in the best possible way. But we can still do small corrections along the way like exercise and sugar intake. It just doesn't help if we don't exercise or have too much sugar.
I don't think they're self indulgence. All the things you mention are not extravagant, but food for the soul.
At least the more you progress, the closer you are to the end if this sad process.
Have a great time in LA. It might just be what you need at the moment.

Comment edited on: 2/19/2012 11:05:58 PM

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Emotional reset button

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

The cooking on Saturday really helped me make it through the day. I didn't get to ALL the items on my "records to print" list, but I did most of them--& I cooked food in amazing quantities! I do love to cook, so that helped me feel better.

The rest of the weekend, though, was kinda grim emotionally. Sunday night I had very nasty insomnia--the anxiety kind.

But God found my emotional reset button on Monday & helped me to push it. Something that my lawyer said in an e-mail helped me remember that though X's lawyer is using tactics of overwhelming (asking for WAY more years of records than is appropriate), assembling these records is something I'm doing FOR MYSELF. They will end up showing that I've been telling the truth. I am fighting for justice here, & it's what I SHOULD be doing.

That day an old friend & my older sister both confirmed this reframing of the task. It helps so much!

Now I feel energy to see this all the way through. Lots more papers to print out, or to obtain from the bank or my workplace HR department: I will track them ALL down & use them to further my case. I'm even going to find some old e-mails showing that I was never comfortable with or accepting of X's failure to work. X is twisting the truth in this regard & saying that I only became concerned about it shortly before he moved out. It's rather breathtaking how he's messing with the truth, in fact--& my lawyer says we will keep this from being just my word against his. I'll show proof!

I have to supply these documents by late February, so getting them together is my main goal for this month. I'm going to ramp up exercise too, because it's the best thing to do with this adrenaline!

RAWRRRR! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILBITWANNABE 2/18/2012 2:58PM

    That's great you can look at the positive side of a tedious task. It will pay off in the end and that's important:)

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CTEMPLE 2/14/2012 6:32AM

    Very worthwhile although painful.

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GOROSIEO 2/7/2012 5:05PM

    Went thru this also. Gathering documents was like a full time job. In the meantime he did not respond to one request for documents. I think actually showed up for mediation with one piece of paper.
Remember just because he's saying it or the lawyer is saying it, doesn't make it true. It's like mind games.
Tough couple of months ahead, but you'll get through it.

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MTULLY 2/7/2012 2:28PM

    So sorry your ex continues to throw you obstacles, but he obviously doesn't know who he is dealing with! Look at you turning a negative in to a positive! Everything is a little easier when you are able to do that. You continue to be an amazing, strong woman, and you WILL prevail. emoticon

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SHANSHE 2/2/2012 10:59AM

    I'm so glad you found a new way to reframe it all in your mind to make it about YOU instead of the X. Lots od love and hugs, Shan

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SASSACAIA 2/2/2012 9:46AM

    Go, Ruth! Yes, remember this is all for YOU! For your peace of mind, for your health, both emotional and physical. You will only come out of it stronger and more alive! RAWR indeed!!

emoticon emoticon

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BEATLETOT 2/2/2012 9:14AM

    It's TRUE! The more information out there, the more it's going to help YOU, not this guy. I'm glad your attorney was able to help you see that. You are fortunate to have such a nice attorney. You got this!

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AMYLONGHORN 2/2/2012 8:40AM

    Get it, girl! Love that RAWR at the end of your blog!! I hear this song, "I'VE GOT THE POWER" in my head reading your are awesome, Ruth, and you have tons of love and support behind you!!!! *hugs*

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DEBJAE 2/2/2012 8:14AM

    Wow, you've got quite a load on your shoulders. Pace sound like you have a plan in motion that will help you succeed!

My thougts are with you, hang in there and keep the goal in mind.


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RUNNERRACHEL 2/1/2012 11:41PM

    Glad to hear that. Refocusing is so freeing. I'm glad you're able to deal with a very difficult situation!

Praying for you. emoticon

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Avoiding avoidance

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Considering the hard things I've been dealing with over the past 8 weeks, plus the holiday pitfalls, I've decided that it's a victory to have ended this 5% challenge basically maintaining (began at 156 lbs, ended at 156.6). And today I'm going to make my fitness/nutrition part of my redemption.

Because today I have a grim task: round up TONS of financial records from the past three years (& a few from earlier) to supply to my ex's lawyer. Mind you, ex has ignored MY lawyer's request for financial records for a couple of months now. As of Monday he'll be in violation, but he'll then be given a little more time. Anyway, I have to respond to his lawyer's request whether or not he responds to mine. There are SO many things wrong with our legal system . .

I've decided to redeem the day & cheer myself up by assigning & receiving a reward for each task. I have already cleared the dishwasher & washed plastic/wooden dishes by hand, & made my bed. As a reward for those tasks I'm writing this blog!

For the rest of the day:

1. Print out tax forms 2009-2010. (Haven't yet done my 2011 taxes, so that one will have to wait.)

REWARD: Browse recipes for something delicious to make with the organic chicken I have put out to thaw. Also decide on a legume dish to make for this week.

2. Print out credit card statements 2009-2011. (Some of the NC statements need to be accessed online, & the website is not letting me in, & I don't yet have a phone to call for help--so these will have to wait.)

REWARD: take my exercise fast-walk to Unique Thrift Store, 2.3 miles away, to buy used clothes or sheets or other linens for the rug that housemate is going to weave for me! On the way home stop at the market for any ingredients I need for batch cooking, & at the bank to deposit a freelance check.

3. Print out retirement savings statements for 2009-2011. (Haven't set up online access to that small MetLife account--see if I can do so; if not, that one will have to wait.)

REWARD: Start legumes soaking, unless I've decided on the red lentils, which don't need it. Chop veggies to cook with legumes & chicken. Finish thawing chicken in microwave.

4. Start assembling mortgage-related documents. No need to get them photocopied yet. Some can be printed out from the bank's website.

REWARD: Put together legume & chicken dishes & start cooking them!

5. Read through discovery list & take note of the documentation that I haven't yet addressed. Make my own still-to-be-done list.

REWARD: Get the TQO essay edited & sent off. Record exercise minutes on SP, read a couple of blogs, maybe an article or two. Give some Sparkgoodies. End the day either reading my current novel or watching my current Netflix film.

I can do this, right?


When I went out for my fast walk to the thrift store, I found the sidewalks treacherous. We had several 40F days, which melted the 8-9 inches of snow that had fallen last week--& then last night we had a hard freeze. So wherever the snowmelt had not dried, the sidewalks & roads are really slick.

This means no thrift-store jaunt today. I ended up just going to the market & the bank. It was good to be out in the sunshine for about 16 minutes round trip. emoticon And now I'm back to credit card statements, & later I'll do a few Leslie Sansone miles as another destresser/reward.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 1/30/2012 4:06PM

    I love that all your rewards are just things that will help you along the way to a healthier life... though I know you're already so healthy and doing awesome! Maintaining is definitely a success during the holidays and hard months.

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SHANSHE 1/30/2012 11:42AM

    Some of your rewards sounds like chores, BUT... also sound preferable to the chores, so I like your list. Glad you are avoiding avoidance, I am bad at that!

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CZARINA_TV 1/29/2012 10:33AM

    I love your chore/reward list! I'm sorry you have to go through all this, but keep your chin up!

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RUNNERRACHEL 1/28/2012 9:22PM

    Great that you have assigned rewards for each individual task.

I am going to use this method. I tend to put off things I dread...but I love rewards so I will try this in the future. Sounds like a good day when you mix in all the enjoyable aspects of it!

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HELLODANAE 1/28/2012 4:25PM

    Love your rewards!!! you got this honey!!! emoticon

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BEATLETOT 1/28/2012 3:58PM

    Um, heck, yes, you can! You seem to have divided the chores up nicely, and by the time you're done, what an incredibly productive day!!!

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RUTHXG 1/28/2012 2:52PM

    Thanks, Dee! I've already found that I divvied up the tasks/rewards wrong. I should have allowed MUCH more time for the credit card statements, as they are a hassle to download, print out, & save. But I've gotten all statements for one card printed out & saved now, & I'm off to the thrift store!

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BABY_GIRL69 1/28/2012 2:15PM

    Well I think you can. emoticon I say just say one thing at a time. I would take 30mins on each thing so that you have time to reward yourself today. Dat-a-girl!! Don't let em get you! WOOHOO!!

God bles & enjoy everyday!


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