RUTHXG   44,804
SparkPoints
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints
 
 
RUTHXG's Recent Blog Entries

I think

Friday, April 15, 2011

I think my weigh-in is going to be a wash--that is, I will probably be around the same weight as when I started the 5% challenge that ends tomorrow. That's still down a nice chunk from where I was last fall, & I'm still feeling the difference in my clothes. Yay for looser pants!

Somehow these past 8 weeks have been terribly, terribly busy--I guess it's not surprising, with Bea's birth + a new teaching gig + my daughter's crisis + regular PT for TMJ on top of my already-large pile of responsibilities & relationships. It can't go on this way indefinitely. If I need to slow down debt repayment in order to keep a more human pace of life, I will do that.

I find myself just longing for a monastery, a place where I can sit in front of a fire or walk through a forest WITH NO AGENDA except rest & prayer & silence. I'm going to schedule a day-long personal retreat soon (there's a Catholic retreat center not far from my home, near Lake Michigan & the meandering lakefront trails). A camping weekend will be heavenly too--even if it rains. Falling down in the mud--yay! emoticon

So these past 8 weeks I have been erratic about tracking food, & at times I've had to skip exercise several days in a row. Right now I'm stealing time from my work--practically anytime I go on SP I'm stealing time from work, either at home or in the office. But I'm going to stay involved: I'm signed up for the upcoming challenge already, & between now & then I'm going to keep working out & eating properly.

When the next 5% challenge starts, I will have started my divorce process; I am going to start working on that the week after Easter Sunday. It's a grim undertaking, but at least the days are getting longer & more flowers will be blooming by then--I'll be surrounded every day by reminders of the earth's renewal. My life is undergoing renewal too!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4LEEFCLOVER 4/17/2011 4:49PM

    You're a great example for others, like me. I'm glad you're a Starfish! Good luck to us all as we go forward into a new season.


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CZARINA_TV 4/16/2011 10:44AM

    This is all still progress, even if it's not the exact numbers on your scale...

You have to go to that retreat so I can hear all about it and see pretty pictures, okay? It sounds heavenly...

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHANSHE 4/16/2011 10:12AM

    A retreat sounds heavenly! Plus, it seems much deserved too!

You have really been through alot lately, and you seem able to acknowledge that and not beat yourself up, so that is good! That is another kind of progress, i think!

Stay strong, you are in my prayers and talk to you again soon.
Shan

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEAWAVE 4/16/2011 8:07AM

    I wish I could afford a retreat more often. After my thyroid cancer, I stayed at a lodge just outside of Algonquin Park for a week, all on my own. It was wonderfully refreshing (despite having a close encounter with a bear!) I wish I could do it again now that the issues surrounding the breast cancer treatments are wrapping up. Hmmm.... something to think about!

My weight has been pretty stable as well, but there is so much more to success than that one number. You've accomplished so much in this little time, and you still have your eyes on the prize. See you in the Spring 5% challenge!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CTEMPLE 4/15/2011 8:48PM

    Dear Ruthie I think you're doing fine and looking back to one year ago is a good way to evaluate the situation. It's a difficult moment and although we must not stray because we all knows what happens, you might as well give yourself a bit of leeway.

Claudia emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/15/2011 8:49:18 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 4/15/2011 7:45PM

    Wow - you have definitely been busy! I am not expecting much tomorrow, either. What happened?!! Life!
It's great that you're maintaining during all this stress and as soon as you have more time I know you'll continue to lose.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOUISE979 4/15/2011 5:44PM

    Renewal is good.

Report Inappropriate Comment


I'm still here . . .

Thursday, April 07, 2011

But exercise is really hard to find time for when I'm truly behind in my work. Tonight I elected to stay up late working, though that means I won't be able to get up in time to exercise tomorrow morning.

And food tracking would have been too time consuming, since tonight I took my friend to a wonderful vegan restaurant & I ate "chicken legs" made of soy & wouldn't have any idea how to track them. They were fabulous, though! I will have leftovers tomorrow.

Good news: the TMJ pain in my right jaw is practically gone!

Bad news: I'm now having TMJ pain in my LEFT jaw!

It makes eating very painful (which should help me lose more weight, but so far it hasn't). Clearly my jaw alignment has shifted, & I'm confident that my physical therapist can help me get it where it should be.

This is a portentous time of year for me: yesterday was my 8th wedding anniversary--preceded by a few e-mails in which my soon-to-ex & I discussed the fact that later this month I'll be filing for divorce--& Friday April 8 will be the 1st anniversary of my dad's death. Also the news about my grandbaby is that somehow she has not been getting enough nutrition, though her parents have been doing everything right--of course that's worrying! They will now be supplementing nursing with regular bottle feeding, both pumped breast milk & formula. I hope to go visit them either Palm Sunday or Easter weekend.

I'm doing OK with all this, as in not falling apart, & I am grounded in God's love, but deep inside I'm feeling disappointed/sad (about the loss of my marriage), sad/lonely (about the loss of my dad), & worried (about Baby Bea & her parents). No wonder there's not a lot of room to focus on eating right & exercising. I will be back on course shortly, though, because I'm determined to take good care of myself!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZYWM 4/12/2011 11:26PM

    Ruth -
Sorry to hear this is hitting all at the same time. You're doing such a fabulous job of dealing with it all! Sending prayers for the baby, and wishing peace and comfort for you.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAREN_NY 4/9/2011 12:25PM

    emoticon So sorry about this being a troublesome time for you. Sending TLC to you and your family and wishing you peace at heart. It sounds like your head is squarely on your shoulders and you're gonna be fine!
K:)

Report Inappropriate Comment
CTEMPLE 4/7/2011 6:58PM

    Dear Ruthie so many difficult things happening. Having a plan for your health that gives you satisfaction, makes it more bearable.
Claudia

Report Inappropriate Comment
EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 4/7/2011 1:00PM

    Sorry to hear about all of this but I know you will be able to get through and take care of yourself. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHANSHE 4/7/2011 10:31AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Ruth,
I'm sorry to hear how things have been going, but, it is good to be able to feel your feelings and acknowledge them. Sometimes, that seems to be all it takes to help me move forward.

I know you are committed to taking care of you and you will move past this, but in the meantime, accept our love and support, and prayers.
Shan

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
4LEEFCLOVER 4/7/2011 9:31AM

    I'm sending you some extra loving care to help in this time of transition. You're beautiful and much appreciated by those around you. I enjoy your blogs and am glad to share the Winter Challenges - go Starfish!


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEAWAVE 4/7/2011 9:27AM

    When it rains, it pours! I'm sending positive vibes to you and to your family. I know it's especially worrying when a baby is in difficulty. Hopefully, this will be resolved soon!
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Can I do it?

Thursday, March 31, 2011

This morning the scales show that I have landed in the 150s--yippeeee!

Now the question is, can I make my 5% goal by April 16? I still have 4.8 lbs to go, & just over two weeks. That's a faster rate than usual for me. It would require stepping up my efforts, both exercise & eating/tracking. But it's SO REWARDING to make a goal by the deadline!

I'm going to try! I just redeemed some debit-card points & received a $25 Spafinder certificate. If I make 154.8 lbs by 4/16, I'll make an appointment for a massage to celebrate!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZYWM 4/3/2011 7:32PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Way to go for your goals! You're an inspiration - enjoy the ride, and that feeling of strength and accomplishment!

Comment edited on: 4/3/2011 7:34:07 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
PJBOKC 4/2/2011 6:02PM

    You are so successful at staying on track - a success whether you reach that goal by 4/16 or not. You'll reach your goal soon!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAREN_NY 4/1/2011 2:13PM

    Congrats on your terrific consistency & progress!
K:)

Report Inappropriate Comment
CZARINA_TV 4/1/2011 6:29AM

    Don't rush yourself -- maybe promise yourself that spa day anyway when you cross 5%.

Congrats!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CTEMPLE 4/1/2011 6:11AM

    So exciting! FIbgers crossed...
I 'm super busy and have realised that I have a mild flu as well.
Will be back Soon
Claudia

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHANSHE 3/31/2011 10:49PM

    I think that is a GREAT reward and I believe you will do it!
Shan

Report Inappropriate Comment
EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 3/31/2011 11:34AM

    Awesome! You're doing great so even if you don't get the 5% in time, I know you'll get there and will get your spa reward soon enough! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAT2212 3/31/2011 11:10AM

    Yeah! That's where I landed this morning too! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


bad forecast --> blisters

Monday, March 28, 2011

Yesterday I did take that 3.25-mile brisk walk to Evanston. The forecast showed light snow throughout the day, so I was wearing my trusty Bearpaw boots. Not good! I saw not one snowflake all day, & by the time I got well into Evanston I could tell blisters were forming. The boots are very comfy but not designed for tromping long distances on hard sidewalks.

After the poetry workshop, on the way to the dance performance a few blocks away I stopped at a Whole Foods to buy some bandages. I confess that I took off boots & socks while waiting for the show to begin, & after it began, to put bandages on the heels & balls of my feet! Fortunately I wasn't sitting right up next to anyone. Then a friend offered me a ride home after the performance--that helped too. Today I've still got bandages on, & I took a break from cardio exercise. I wore my athletic shoes to work for max cushioning. Later I plan to do an upper-body ST routine here in my office.

The poetry workshop was a really good one, by the way, & the dance show was WONDERFUL. The movement & music brought tears to my eyes more than once. I realized that despite all the therapy I've been doing for months, I have been protecting myself from the pain of my marriage breakup. Sometimes art that involves no words is the best for dismantling my inner defenses. And I think I'm ready for them to come down.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHANSHE 3/30/2011 1:01AM

    Healing will come when the inner defenses are dismantled, right? It's good you are willing for them to come down now and work on that pain.

Hope your blisters heal soon!
Shan

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUZYWM 3/29/2011 10:32PM

    What a time you're having! I'm sorry for the blisters - but even more for the loss of your dreams of a companionable marriage. That's a hard one to let go.

How wonderful that you're growing your life in so many rewarding ways - poetry, dance, creativity. We are resiliant creatures, as you so beautifully illustrate.

Hope the rest of your week is warm and wonderful.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAREN_NY 3/29/2011 8:40PM

    Blisters in more ways than one it seems.... so glad you're tending to them all. Love your prose too, "Sometimes art that involves no words is the best for dismantling my inner defenses. And I think I'm ready for them to come down."
And so true.
K:)

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMYLONGHORN 3/29/2011 9:27AM

    Booooo for blisters! Hope they go away soooooooon!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CTEMPLE 3/28/2011 5:13PM

    Yes it is such a deep thing letting go of an intimate relationship, all the plans and dreams one puts on relationships, if they fail so much to give up on, heart breaking.

I hope your feet heal soon.
Claudia


Report Inappropriate Comment
JMCADE 3/28/2011 3:12PM

    hope those blisters clear up real soon, I know what a walker you are.

Glad to hear your day was good other than the blisters. Dance and music can get me teary-eyed. Letting emotions go will help yoy to heal.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KJNLDE 3/28/2011 3:04PM

    Oooo... blisters stink, especially when you know you'll have to walk a while with them! Good thing you got a ride home!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PJBOKC 3/28/2011 1:26PM

    Hope those blisters heal soon!

I know you'll continue to heal from the hurts you've experienced. You are a wise woman, and know where your strength comes from. Said a prayer for you this morning.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 3/28/2011 12:10PM

    Ouch! I hate blisters! I find I get them when I walk in my Uggs, too, probably because they are too roomy.

Glad you enjoyed the dance show and it helped you get even more in touch with your feelings. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


My life is changing

Sunday, March 27, 2011

First, hope you had a happy Earth Hour! I lit candles at 8:30 tonight, then turned off all lights & played solo Bananagrams during the hour of darkness. It was really fun, a great way to unwind after my busy three days. But next year I think I'll plan a candlelight Earth Hour party with friends! We could spend the hour singing or playing board games or just talking & laughing.

This afternoon I finished my three-day teaching gig--it went well & I could hardly be more pleased. I like people, but I'm an introvert, so I definitely needed some alone time afterward to dial down. There will still be some work: I am sending a final assignment to the 21 students, & they'll have up to a month to complete it & send it back. Then I'll grade those (fortunately just pass-fail, but I'll want to write some comments to each person) & turn in the grades.

This teaching is changing my life in that I will no longer have to spend nearly every Saturday cooped up in my home office working on freelance editing to pay down debt. I am starting to think about how I should reallocate my time--which neglected activities & people should be addressed first.

My tendency would be to cram my newly freed-up time in a rush to make amends for lapsed friendships & missed exercise & neglected housecleaning. But I'm going to try to resist that temptation.

This coming week is already quite full, in wonderful social ways:
1. Sunday--church, poetry workshop, dance performance
2. Wednesday evening--cooking class in Forest Park with creative friends!
3. Friday night--dinner with friend at Peruvian restaurant
4. Saturday--meeting my sister at Garfield Park Conservatory to enjoy the flowers & greenness & delicious oxygen, then celebrating her birthday by taking her to lunch

All of this on top of full-time work, of course. I also have some freelance editing to get done, but they are short pieces, nothing demanding.

With this & exercise plus the time it takes to track food faithfully for this week's challenge, I MUST not try to cram more in!

************

My SP/Starfish efforts have lagged in the past couple of weeks. Leaving town to meet my granddaughter for the first time, then preparing for the class while being involved with my church's pastoral search committee & my regular work, I just dropped the ball at times. Most notably, I repeatedly broke my Lenten commitment to avoid sugar.

I've been thinking about that & decided that it's not the best Lenten discipline for me this year, since I'm already off alcohol as well because of the medication I'm on--that just makes for so much abstinence, & I haven't had space in my schedule & brain (except when I was in St. Louis with Bea) to add in new, positive things to counterbalance the absence. So I'm going to relax about sugar but work hard to stay within my calorie range for each day. And for the rest of Lent I'm going to adopt a different discipline--I'm hoping that an inspiration will come to me sometime tomorrow.

Despite my busyness tomorrow afternoon, & despite the cold weather, I expect to get exercise--I'll have time to take a brisk walk from church all the way to the poetry workshop in Evanston, 3.25 miles!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CZARINA_TV 4/1/2011 6:44AM

    I spent Earth Hour cheering, so no lights out for me. I'm glad to hear that you celebrated it and that you're planning on celebrating it next year with friends.

I'm also glad to hear that you're moving forward with a full life and big plans. This is a big change and I'm sure it's hard at times, but you seem to be filling your life with good things...

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHANSHE 3/30/2011 12:58AM

    Your life is changing in a very positive way and I am happy for you! Glad that you are not going to cram in all the neglected stuff, but instead plan on taking your time and fitting it in a little at a time when you aren't already so busy!
Hugs,
Shan

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAREN_NY 3/29/2011 8:45PM

    I do love this blog. It reflects the pace that you are looking for, and shares that with the reader who has no choice but to slow the breathing and feel the calm.

How lovely your week!
K:)

Report Inappropriate Comment
PJBOKC 3/28/2011 1:19PM

    Ruth,

I'm so happy you've found something new in your life that gives you relief and reward in several areas of your life - your time, finances, and an opportunity to share your knowledge with those who are ready to soak it up.

I want you to take care of yourself. I know you'll want to use some of that free time to visit sweet Bea........ and have some "Be Still and Know......" moments.



Report Inappropriate Comment
BEATLETOT 3/28/2011 8:22AM

    I love your attitude and the peace that seems to surround your being, your life, and your actions. I'm glad you enjoyed teaching!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KJNLDE 3/27/2011 8:05PM

    Sounds like great things have come your way! Fabulous!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAYLINSTEPHENS 3/27/2011 6:16PM

    One day at a time - you can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JMCADE 3/27/2011 5:58PM

    Don't overdo. You have such a full life now. We starfish want you to do what you can, but don't try to do more than your body says you should. Have a great week.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SASSACAIA 3/27/2011 10:51AM

    It sounds like you've found a good way to balance all that going on in your life - and there certainly is a lot!! Hope you're doing well! Miss you!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/27/2011 10:52:33 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
CTEMPLE 3/27/2011 12:10AM

    All good things, what a pleasure to read your blog!
Claudia

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 Last Page