Sunday, April 18, 2010
Unfortunately, no weight lost lately . . . my losses have been bigger. Early in the morning of April 8 my dad died. The previous morning he had had a smallish stroke at the end of his biking exercise. Later, in the hospital, he had what the doctor called a "catastrophic event"--a massive cerebral hemorrhage. They weren't the kind of strokes caused by an unhealthy lifestyle, blood clots, or other physical problems, rather a rare kind that can strike very healthy folks.
He was 82 & had lived a VERY full & fruitful life. We had a funeral in NW Arkansas, where he had been living for the past 8.5 years. Then we had another in Wheaton, outside of Chicago, because he was to be buried next to my mother, who died in 2000. My siblings & kids, in-laws, nieces & nephews, friends, & I have all been very sad, because we had been looking forward to more years of happy visits with Dad & his second wife, Jan. But our time together was precious. We cowrote the eulogy & planned both funerals--& they were beautiful & comforting.
The meeting for the Big Mysterious Hard Thing had to be postponed a week because of my bereavement, so we finally had it yesterday. It was a very hard meeting. My husband is separating from me--& I am agreeing to it because there have been some very serious long-term problems in our home. In a nutshell, (1) I have been supporting him for the 7 years of our marriage (hard times for finding jobs, especially lately, but he had quit looking long ago--nothing was good enough for him), & (2) he is highly critical & angry, prone to explode at me over the smallest disagreement or request, not in a physical way but still unacceptably harshly.
This is probably the only time I'll post anything specific about my marriage issues; generally I'm pretty private about such things & confide mainly in my sisters, closest friends, & pastor. But now you know what has been brewing. Making specific decisions about the separation & management of $$ & such will be hard; I'm not looking forward to it. I also have strong feelings of grief, failure, terrible disappointment. Still, God is good & I trust in his mercy. And I expect that soon my life will be much more peaceful day to day.
Now you can see why I haven't gotten in any real exercise for more than a week. But tomorrow I'll be back at it--probably taking a brisk early-morning walk. Actually I'm about to take a brisk afternoon walk right now! It's cool in Chicago but the sun is shining brightly.
Thanks to those of you who have dropped by to wish me well, give me goodies, or let me know you're praying for me. It means more than I can say.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
I'm so remiss about blogging! But partly that reflects being busier with regular exercise--which is GREAT.
The blisters (see last post) fortunately didn't bother me for more than a day, once they were covered with band-aids. I have been continuing to do fast/boosted indoor walking with Leslie, & my weekly time logs are steadily inching up. Now it's time to return to walking outside, as the weather around here is BEAUTIFUL--as long as we're not having thunderstorms. Which I love too, but they're not very conducive to outdoor walking.
I don't think I netted more than an inch or so lost during March, & my weight essentially stayed the same. So I do need to step it up: I'm adding just 5 minutes to my daily cardio, & I'm being stricter with myself regarding the no-Ss (eating), especially giving myself less leeway on weekends.
The Big Mysterious Hard Thing in my life is finally about to come to resolution, at a meeting this coming Saturday (April 10). After the meeting I'm going to have dinner with my kids, to tell them what's going on, & then I'll focus on updating other family members. I will find time to blog about it soon thereafter, I'm sure. Holy Week was especially poignant this year, & I felt very blessed by God & my church community. It gives me strength & comfort to know my little life-story is part of a much bigger story. Christ is risen!
Monday, March 29, 2010
It's so weird to get blisters for walking in comfortable shoes!
I did loads of fast walking these past three days--home (w/ a stop at the market) from the mechanic's on Saturday, nearly 2 miles; all the way from church to the library in Evanston on Sunday, 3.25 miles; back to the mechanic's before work this morning to pick up my car, nearly 2 miles.
Yesterday (the longer walk) & today I wore my trusty Skechers, & by the time I was halfway to the mechanic's today I was practically limping. Fortunately there are band-aids in our supply cupboard at work; once here I took some to the bathroom & put two on the bottom of each foot. Ouch!
I guess I need either new Skechers or at least pad inserts to cushion my feet more.
Friday, March 12, 2010
I haven't lost any more weight yet, but another inch has come off my waist since I measured at the end of January! Woohooo! I'll update all my measurements at the end of March.
I've been having some insomnia again. Sooner or later my body was bound to react to the tension I'm living under. Once that's resolved (the timetable is being decided in the next few days), I expect my sleep to return to normal.
Despite the insomnia & missing cardio some days, I'm managing to keep up with my weekly exercise goals. I'm just exercising longer whenever that's possible. I'm also upping the intensity--which is why today my glutes & upper thighs are a bit sore.
Last night I had the privilege of leading a poetry workshop with survivors of sexual assault & abuse, at a center where my daughter-in-law is doing an internship. The women were very receptive, & we had a good time.
I'm in a dark time, but morning is coming!
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