Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I find myself kind of obsessing about food these days. I don't like it.
Before lunch I'm thinking "oh good, it's almost time to eat!" After lunch I start thinking about my upcoming snack. Then I start yearning for supper.
I'm trying to figure out why this is happening. The first time I ever dieted, back in college, a friend recruited me to do it with her. We counted calories & I lost more than 10 pounds. But I was perturbed one day when I sat down to pray & found my mind wandering to calculations of the calories I could have at lunch!
The happiest, most successful weight loss I've ever had was back in 1999. I was a single mom, not dating anyone, & my daughter was off at college while my son was busy in high school. I just did one thing: cut out supper (my son would fix his own). I would eat anything I wanted for breakfast (usually cereal, banana, OJ & skim milk) & then have a regular-sized lunch/supper in the afternoon, around 3:00 or 4:00. I had starting exercising regularly the year before & at this point I was starting to go running. So my metabolism was up. I ate supper out with friends occasionally, or cooked for guests, & it didn't mess me up; I just went back to my two-meals-a-day regime the next day. I did not obsess about food, & I lost weight really easily--25 pounds in about 5-6 months. How I wish it were that easy now.
Part of my struggle to stay within the calorie range these days is the fact that now I'm married & supper is the main connection time with my husband. Another change is that I'm working in an office again, with a long commute.
Tracking helps me keep my nutrients balanced & I do eat more lightly when I'm tracking. But I want to stop obsessing! Maybe it's happening more right now because my work is really peaceful at the moment & my mind gets restless--? At other times I am juggling all sorts of projects at a time, & it keeps my mental energy engaged elsewhere.
It probably doesn't help that the book I'm editing now is a WONDERFUL study of food in Bologna, Italy--what families eat, how they prepare it, how they divide up the chores of meal planning/preparation--& it's based on dinners the investigators had with a number of different couples. Maybe that's what is triggering my cravings. Could be.
Still, I want to get out of my present plateau NOW, & I want to do it without obsessing.