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First day of medical/maternity leave

Monday, September 19, 2011

Alright, so far I've:
Slept in until 9:00
Loaded the dishwasher
Had breakfast, a snack & lunch
Took the dirty laundry downstairs
Watered the plants
Watched three hours of tv (the Doctors, Ellen and some CMT)

I'm so fricken bored!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNERMOMTO3 9/24/2011 10:26PM

    oh my gosh girl....enjoy the boredom!!! I suggest maybe cooking some meals and getting stuff in the freezer for once Roo gets here!! if you scrapbook, do a few pages a day!! I miss scraping. I usualy only have time in the winter to do any scrapbooking.

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ETTEZEUS 9/20/2011 1:03PM

    Enjoy the boredom while you won't last emoticon

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CANDIS799 9/20/2011 9:50AM

    How about a book to read? Or is there a craft you like to do such as knitting, scrapbooking, etc?

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 9/20/2011 12:39AM

    How about cooking some meals that can be frozen? You're not going to feel like cooking after Roo arrives!

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CASSIOEPIA 9/19/2011 11:11PM

    Whatcha got planned for tomorrow?

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SUNSHINE084 9/19/2011 6:24PM

    It is hard at first, I do a lot of baking and seems to past the time. How much longer do you have?

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YRISHKA 9/19/2011 4:49PM

    oh yeah... sleep as long as you can. Because later you won't get a chance :)

So, I say -- good job!

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ONE*BUSY*MOM 9/19/2011 3:55PM

    Please, trade lives with me! I would love to do what you just did!


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BLUEROSE73 9/19/2011 3:53PM

    It's hard, but it's what roo needs right now. You can do this. Roo comes first right now. Just focus on that.

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NOTIMENASH 9/19/2011 3:51PM

  Enjoy it now. Once that baby comes you will never be boared again.

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My ex is at it again...

Thursday, September 15, 2011

(copied/pasted from the RR thread) I'd never go away. I just might not be all sunshine & roses. Thank you for your words - I am doing my best to deal with everything positively. He's just being such a class-A jerk. The gist of it is, Colin came home from his dad's house on the 5th and told me that he wasn't registered in the school that I thought he was but in a different school, closer to his father's house. No big deal, until I did some research and found out that it is probably one of the worst schools in Alberta. In fact, it was the only school last year to be put on lock down for a gun threat. It has, for the past five years, had a less than 50% graduation rate and, of that percentage, the average exam mark is around 60%. Colin told me not to worry, he only had to try it for one day and then he could make his choice of schools.
My main issue with this, despite everything else, is that he left it for Colin to tell me. I sent him Colin's class schedule on August 21.... he removed him from school on the 31st - no phone call, no email, no text - nothing.
Second situation - the trip to the unknown destination. Turns out it was Peru. Also turns out that "3 weeks" turned into September 28 through to October 26. Okay, I wasn't thrilled but I'm still hopeful that the boys would go, have fun and not flunk out of school. (Should I have blogged this?) Logan(13) and Colin(14) realized that they'd miss almost four full weeks of school and started to rethink wanting to go. Colin is a worrier.... pointed out that taking that much school work with would lead to "not much of a vacation" and Logan quite bluntly stated he didn't want to spend that much time with his stepmother.
Anyway, it turns out I'm a manipulative person because I fed the kids thoughts and lies until they told their father that they would rather not go to Peru. Add to the the fact that I, apparently, scared Colin from going to the school in his neighbourhood and I got a rather scathing email. THAT I will put with a copy of this, in a blog tonight because I can't make this crap up and I don't want to paraphrase....

Here it is:
I cannot continue to be manipulated by you through the boys. We cannot do anything with them without having you influence them as to what they want to do. Even an exciting and potentially once in a lifetime trip to another country. You are convincing them that they will miss too much school and should not go. I heard it in the exchange we had last night. I was going to screw up their entire school year with a 4 week trip. That had obviously been discussed prior to my getting there in those terms. I know you will say you have said nothing to them, that it was their idea, you just talked about it with them, but that is the problem, if they were with us from the time we decided to go until the time we left, we could talk to them about their fears, help them figure out how to make the missing school easier and work through any issues, instead they go to you and you feed their fears and do nothing to encourage them to change. You have no interest in letting them do anything with us, you want them to always remain safe and secure in H****** with you. If that is truly what they want, to remain safe and secure in H***** for the rest of their lives, then I am sorry that I have failed them as a parent.

The 2 week custody needs to change. I am proposing a semester in school custody period (roughly 5 months). Since you have effectively locked Colin into D*** for the semester and are encouraging him to not go on the trip with us, you have effectively requested to have him for the full semester from now until January. We will get the kids in January and have them until the end of the school year. Each household can have 1 weekend a month (if available) to keep in touch and phone calls are always available. We can discuss the weeks around Christmas and Spring break if you would like, I am okay having them just be a part of the semester of school they are in.

The summer months can be either added on to the semester or alternated so it would be 5 months then 1 month alternating then another 5 months.

I know this is not what you want, but I need my life separated from your influence as much as possible. This needs to happen for the good of the kids, we cannot continue to battle over them. You do not have to accept this completely as it is. Feel free to suggest other options or discuss any points in it, but it is not okay to just say no, I can't and won't continue like this.


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ONE*BUSY*MOM 9/19/2011 3:46PM

    Ouch, I'm so sorry, Penny, that you're going through this. I know you are just trying to be a good, supportive parent and give your kids the critical thinking skills so that they can make their own decisions and the best decisions for themselves. You're doing a good job and being a great mom. Take care!

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    Wow, that is horrible to get that in your inbox. You are a mother of course you are going to be concerned for your children's well being, that is proper school and amount of education.

Would a discussion with your kids' teachers about the amount of school work that will be missed be helpful with the situation. And at that age range if my memory serves me well enough I do believe that is midterm time. How many tests will they be missing for this once in a lifetime trip? Is it worth it for them.

you are not being manipulative by giving them the information they need to make the decision for themselves. you are being a good parent for doing so. I am sorry you have to deal with this.

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 9/18/2011 12:14AM

    So sorry to hear you & the boys are going through this. I've been that kid and I know how it feels to be stuck in the middle of that tug of war of words. emoticon

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COOPSM 9/17/2011 4:06PM

    Penny---I am sorry that this is going on....the boys made up there mind..not you, they are old enough.....
Hope this comes to a happy settlement!!!! HUGS!!!

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WYOMOL 9/17/2011 1:16PM

    Penny, So so sorry you are dealing with this - it's hard enough to raise kids in a healthy marriage, let alone dealing with exes. I'm thinking of you and wishing you well!

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RUNNINGWILD 9/17/2011 12:37PM

    Wood, thank you. And thank Luv for me, too. Be assured that I was supportive of this trip, and still am, it's the boys who have decided not to go.
For everyone else that answered/commented, I'm glad I have you all in my life. Support and/or constructive criticism of my decisions is always welcome. I know that I'm not perfect - far from it - but some days, I just need reassurance that I'm on the right track.

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WOODHEAT 9/17/2011 10:28AM

After I responded to your blog I talked to Luv about your situation and as often happens, she gave me a different point of view that balances things out a little and I thought I should get back to you with her comments. I stated that taking kids out of school is a bad idea, but Luv reminded me thats not always the case. Sometimes the life experiences that can be gained by that "once in a lifetime" trip might truely outweigh what was learned in the classroom. Luv's grandparents took two of their daughters out of school for six months for a very inclusive trip around the United States. They had to repeat a grade of school, so they graduated a year late, but apparently, as adults, they felt that the trip was well worth the time.
We don't know how they felt as kids.

I guess parenting is always a balancing act. I know for Luv and myself, that we are 2 very different people with, at times, very different ideas of how things should be done. I'm sure that living under one roof made it somewhat easier to work things out, so I'm equally certain that it's much harder for someone in your position.

I still stick to my guns though, that you need to do what you think is rigt, but sometimes there really are silver linings to those black clouds.

Hope this made some sense.


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WOODHEAT 9/17/2011 9:18AM

    Oh Penny, my friend,

Here's your old "Life is good" advocate showing up when I'm going to have to admit that sometimes "Life is s***!" Your friends here who have already responded have already said it so well (especially Tortuetoo, who I don't know) - stick to your guns. Your kids need you!

I'm especially bothered by the the trip! As a teacher, it always bothered me that parents didn't realize that even a week out of school can be an almost impossible to task to totally make up. So many thought if there kids just made up their homework that they missed that everything would be okay. How is it they don't realize that they're missing everything that is taught in every single class each day. A month could be devastating.

Also, I taught in one of the worst schools in the city. I KNOW that good students were cheated out of a better education by having to be there. I'd strongly urge you to fight to have your kids in the better school. It does make a difference.

Penny, I know this is a really tough time for you, but I also know from my time spent on RR with you that you're a very strong and capable woman. You came a long way in a few years. You will get through this as well.

Hugs my friend. I may not be there on Rookie Runners anymore, but I am very much there with you in spirit.


Comment edited on: 9/17/2011 10:13:42 AM

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ILOVEROSES 9/16/2011 5:55PM

    Penny, so sorry you have all this to deal with. Thanks to you, your boys are smart enough to see that what their father proposes is not in their interest. Stick to your guns and hope you work something out that will be best for your boys. emoticon

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MKKAYA 9/16/2011 2:41AM

    Penny, I am so sad your going through this, Like I said in my fb message - this stinks and stick to your guns your doing what is best for the those boys!!!!

We are here for you and praying everything works out.

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TORTUETOO 9/15/2011 11:57PM

    Reading this makes me so glad I don't work in family law anymore - I used to see this kind of nonsense every day - one parent who is the "fun" parent and wants to do things like take kids on month-long vacations to Peru without ever considering the consequences and one parent who gets accused of being the "bad guy" when they dare to suggest that there might in fact BE consequences.

Thank goodness those boys have you in their lives to show them some stability and common sense. You're not being a bad guy - you're being a responsible parent. And that's something that teenage boys need way more than a trip to Peru during the school year.

Hang in there and keep being the good mom that you are. emoticon

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BOBBYD31 9/15/2011 11:09PM

    sorry but i feel the semester split will be really hard on the boys especially if they are into sports. you really need to draw up a plan for the sake of the kids and your piece of mind. hugs penny

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GAYEMC 9/15/2011 9:05PM

    Penny, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I can't imagine as a mother having to fight for your children like that.

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MIAMIA7 9/15/2011 7:39PM

    Penny-this is so tough. The boys are getting older and now have their own opinions. The ex has to start listening to the boys. Hear their views and opinions. I hope this gets worked out without any more stress on you -though I doubt it :(
I have been through this...years ago. My oldest (who is now 30) would go visit his biological father in the summer for a month. That is all he wanted him for. As Phillip got older he started having a busier life and it cut into that time. His father would promise him things and not deliver and finally when Phillip was 18...the biological dad (and that is my nice name for him) went to court, severed everything and disappeared. Only thing he showed up for was his graduation..trying to take credit for Phillip being in the top of his class. Yeah, right. I mention this because I just don't know what is worse...a father who is nuts (aka...yours) or one who makes promises and then is tough enough for kids without these kind of things...sigh. Love them Penny, continue good parenting and hope for the best. It is all we can do sometimes.
Hugs, Anne

Comment edited on: 9/15/2011 7:41:32 PM

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ETTEZEUS 9/15/2011 6:51PM

    I'm so sorry you have to go through this Penny.
I'm praying it all works out!

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BEANCOUNTER2 9/15/2011 3:49PM

    So sorry and Roo don't need the stress, nor do the boys. Do the boys have to be gone the whole 4 weeks? Maybe you could suggest 2 weeks instead and then have them come back early...Praying it all works out and the ex settles down...Polly

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JMARISK 9/15/2011 12:54PM

    Wow. My husband is from Peru. I know that as some point he wants our kid to go down for an extended period of time. But we are both smart enough to know that any time spent in peru, or anyother country, cannot conflict with school! That is just ludicris.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Stay strong and talk to a lawyer. I know you want what's best for your children. Everythign will work out as it should.

Good luck!

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SLYMGIRL 9/15/2011 10:35AM

    Sorry you have to deal with this. I hope you can get it all worked out soon!

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CASSIOEPIA 9/15/2011 10:18AM

    It's hard to believe that he expects that the boys would have no input from you on their decisions, just as they may talk to him about things before deciding. He can't stop them from talking to you. They are now at an age where they are free to choose who they want to live with.

This is a sad time, and I'm sorry that you have to go through it. There's no way I'd give up custody for five months at a time.


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BLACKROSE_222 9/15/2011 10:09AM

    What a nut job. UGH. Sorry you are dealing with this Penny. You guys definitely don't deserve this kind of hassle, and it must be just heck on the kids. But, it sounds like you have raised some pretty smart cookies, if they can figure this stuff out on their own. emoticon

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My challenge for the weekend:

Friday, September 02, 2011

========= . THE HEART CHALLENGE . ============
H-HIBERNATE Get 6-8 Hours of sleep per night (Starting bedtime Friday night, ending morning time Monday morning)
E-EAT 4 Freggies a day
A- ATTEMPT A NEW TO YOU STRENGTH MOVE. The important thing is you have to report what the new ST move you attempted on your TEAM THREAD so we all get new ideas to try. Post these new moves either daily or cumulatively on Monday.
R-RACING...Get that heart rate up for 20 minutes (Minimum)
T-TOUCH Reach Out and TOUCH Someone... Spend time with family, with friends, go visit, make a phone call. Your voice is a gift to those that Love you.

1 pt max for each category - 5 pts per day

Complete ALL Phases in a single day receive a 5 point Bonus for that day.

MAX Points 10 points per day/3 days= 30 points

========= . THE TRACKING . ============

Friday, September 2 - HEART Points: __3__ (10 max/day)
__1__ H - HIBERNATE Get 6-8 Hours of sleep per night (1 pt)
__1__ E - EAT 4 Freggies a day (1 pt)
__0__ R - RACING...Get that heart rate up for 20 minutes (min.) (1 pt)
__1__ T - TOUCH Reach Out and TOUCH Someone... Spend time with family, with friends, go visit, make a phone call. Your voice is a gift to those that Love you. (1 pt.)
____ HEART Bonus pts (5 pts for completion of HEART)

Saturday, September 3 - HEART Points: __3___ (10 max/day)
_1__ H - HIBERNATE Get 6-8 Hours of sleep per night (1 pt)
_1__ E - EAT 4 Freggies a day (1 pt)
_0__ R - RACING...Get that heart rate up for 20 minutes (min.) (1 pt)
_1__ T - TOUCH Reach Out and TOUCH Someone... Spend time with family, with friends, go visit, make a phone call. Your voice is a gift to those that Love you. (1 pt.)
_____ HEART Bonus pts (5 pts for completion of HEART)

Sunday, September 4 - HEART Points: __4____ (10 max/day)
_1__ H - HIBERNATE Get 6-8 Hours of sleep per night (1 pt)
__1_ E - EAT 4 Freggies a day (1 pt)
_1__ R - RACING...Get that heart rate up for 20 minutes (min.) (1 pt)
_1__ T - TOUCH Reach Out and TOUCH Someone... Spend time with family, with friends, go visit, make a phone call. Your voice is a gift to those that Love you. (1 pt.)
____ HEART Bonus pts (5 pts for completion of HEART)

Total challenge points - 10

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KASHMIR 9/3/2011 12:58PM

    GREAT challenge, thanks Penny! I had dinner with my Mom last night, and will be seeing my son and the grands today :-). Now to figure out my N for the next two days!!!

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 9/3/2011 11:50AM

    I agree with Cassioepia - the Touch part of the challenge is what makes it so wonderful. It's a very well balanced approach.

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MHUTTON 9/2/2011 11:42AM

    emoticon You can do it!!

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CASSIOEPIA 9/2/2011 10:07AM

    I love the T for Touch part of this challenge. There are so many aspects to successful weight loss and having support is just one of them.

You are going to do alright on this challenge - can't see you having trouble on any of it!

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Tommy Europe made me cry....

Thursday, September 01, 2011

The rules of Sparkpeople say that we're not allowed to post other people's words, that we should instead putup a link BUT this came to me in an email and there's no link to post. So I'm going to take the chance of posting it, even if it only reaches a couple people before it gets taken down, IF it gets taken down. Here goes:

Have you ever seen a really impressive "before" and "after" photo on a weight loss product?

Well, there's something that the diet industry doesn't want you to know. There is more involved than just the diet product, and it's the same across the board.

Look into the eyes of any person in their "before" picture and you'll see that they are deeply disturbed. The body they have is no longer in sync with the body they are able to accept.

They changed the body that they accept, and became disturbed.

Now look into their eyes in the "after" picture – see the sweet satisfaction? They now live in the body that they decided they could accept. What an amazing feeling that is.

Why are you still living life in your "before" body?

Sure, you have obstacles that get in your way – your schedule, your job, your kids, the weather, your knee injury from college…but ultimately you have the body that you accept.

I'm going to repeat that so it will really sink in.

You have the body that you accept.

Transform from "Before" to "After"
You may not realize it, but you already posses everything you need to transform your body, and it all starts with taking responsibility for the body that you have today.

You are in your current shape because, until this moment, you've been OK with it.

Oh I know you aren't thrilled with it, and you even talk about losing weight and getting fit - but you haven't changed what you'll accept.

Here's how to transform your body in 3 steps:

Step One: Feel Disturbed
It has been said that emotion creates motion. This is essential when it comes to personal transformation. Just like those folks in the "before" pictures, to transform your body you must first decide that you can't live another day in the body you currently have.

Get your emotions stirred up. Make a list of all the reasons that you're ready to lose weight and get fit. Get disturbed.

Step Two: Decide What You Want
Without clarity you'll never get where you want to go. Now that you're disturbed with the body you have, decide what the body you can accept looks like.

Think in concrete and specific terms. Just like the captions under ‘before" and "after" pictures - "Shannon lost 50 lbs," "Matt lost 8 inches from his waist," "Catherine went from a size 20 to a size 4."

Get a clear picture in your mind of what you'll look like in your "after" picture and decide what the caption will read.

Step Three: Take Action
The time spent between your inspiration (now) and taking action determines whether you will succeed or fail. Don't allow yourself to get stuck between inspiration and action - there is always something that you can do immediately.

I hope this reaches you as it did me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYEMC 9/5/2011 1:58PM

    Thanx for sharing! Good inspiration to start BLC17. Disk in the mail last Thursday, let me know if you get it or not. How's Roo?

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BLACKROSE_222 9/2/2011 10:20AM

    Nice article. I hope it sticks around.

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BOBBYD31 9/1/2011 11:19PM

    good one

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TORTUETOO 9/1/2011 11:18PM

    This is great - and you credited the source, so I hope they don't make you take it down. Thanks for sharing!

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ETTEZEUS 9/1/2011 11:08PM

    Thanks P!

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CASSIOEPIA 9/1/2011 10:54PM

    Got it read before it goes down! Thanks for sharing P.

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I don't have morning sickness...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

I am, however, randomly subjected to mini exorcisms. Roo doesn't understand the concept: morning sickness is called such for a reason AND it's supposed to go away after the first trimester. HA. *MY* daughter will reject anything, any time and with enough force to make me wish I was never born.
On the plus side, I only have (theoretically) ten more weeks to go.
She must know I'm irked with her today. She's been making my belly dance for the last hour. It's cute. It reminds me that I already love her and I would lay down my life for her. OTOH, she made me miss my workout this morning, therefore, she's grounded until she's 2. Or 35. I'm not sure quite yet.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ETTEZEUS 9/1/2011 8:56AM

    LOL! At the rate she is going, she'll be grounded for life...but then, you'd never get to use her room as anything else....LOL

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GAYEMC 8/30/2011 8:31PM

    LMBO Peny! You better set her straight before she developes bad habits and takes over your life. Oops, isn't that what babies do?

I so missed seeing you at H2C this year but glad you were still a part of it. And yes, I have a disk of pics for you. email me your address at and I'll get it in the mail.

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BLACKROSE_222 8/29/2011 9:33AM

    LOL - I hope you get your workout in soon... perhaps she just figures she is working out by moving - so you don't need one too.

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ONE*BUSY*MOM 8/29/2011 1:54AM

    I haven't been sparking lately, so I haven't been keeping up on blogs. Congrats on the baby GIRL! It's fun being able to experience raising each gender -- so glad you'll get the chance, too. Take care!

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ZLWIDOW 8/28/2011 7:11PM

    Funny!! I hope she settles down soon for you.

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 8/28/2011 4:28PM

    You're funny Penny! Hopefully Roo lets you work out a bit later.

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