So up until a couple of weeks ago I felt like no one could tell I was pregnant. I just felt uncomfortable and thought I looked overweight.
I won't lie- I was sad. And had major baby bump envy as I walked around and noticed other pregnant women.
Then I stopped by the store to try and find some pants-the ones I have I thought I would just keep using with the belly band. I tried the belly band and it just kept riding up and I felt really uncomfortable (plus I had the feeling that I looked like a stuffed sausage!).
So I decided to just buy some bigger sized pants (I resisted this long as I just didn't want to even try and guess what size they would be-but I felt just like if I was gaining weight and not baby and continued to wear clothes that didn't fit it would depress me-and in fact it has been making feel bad to stress every morning when I went to get ready for work and knew nothing would really "fit").
Well, in the dressing room I happened to glance in the mirror while wearing clothes that actually fit me and there it was....my baby bump that in no way could be confused with "just gaining weight and being overweight"!!!!!
I'm so excited that it was there! And I'm glad that I found some clothes that fit and was so happy that they fit and I felt comfortable that I couldn't care less what size they were!
For anyone who believes in wives tales- I am in fact "carrying high" and having a boy- so maybe that one is right.
So far I have gained 13lbs. I was on medication for nausea/vomiting up until 2 weeks ago and once that went away and I could actually eat - well I picked up the weight that had not been there before (I think I've gained 6lbs in these last 2 weeks).
Now that I have gotten back into normal eating and have settled into my new job ( I switched jobs 3 weeks ago to one that makes a little more money then my last job but the real reason I took the position is that it offered a hybrid work schedule-so I can work a couple days a week in the office and the rest at home-so I can be home with Andrew some days (with help as my job requires about 80% of my time to be on the phone with clients- but still I liked that I would be home with him as I will have a short maternity leave and wanted the option-something that my other job that had me traveling 50% of time could not allow).
My current goals are to:
-actually track my food
-be more diligent about making healthy choices
-try to get some exercise in at least 3 times a week
Whew! I am glad to report that I am healthy and still plugging away at things but it has been hard! A lot more then I would have thought when started on this journey of pregnancy!
Here's my little peanut at 11 weeks (I'm 16 weeks today!) We are having a little boy that we have named Andrew!
My first 3 months were rough! I have been (and still am on) medication for nausea and vomiting. I actually take more medicine/pills then when I wasn't pregnant! I have the nausea medicine (thank god for it!), heartburn pills, stool softener, some Tylenol for back pain and I was trying Unisom (but atlas I just do not sleep as well as I used to - regardless of medications or how tired I actually am).
Everything about my body and what I considered "normal" is a distance memory- its all so different now. I look and feel different. What I didn't expect was the constant worry about the most random things! And it's nonstop worry and concern- I'm sure it's normal.
In fact any symptom I have short of death seems to be "normal for pregnancy"!
We have had all the tests you could have by 16 weeks and everything has come back normal and I am so thankful and happy for that! It's odd but sometimes I actually forget that I am pregnant- I can't wait until I'm 7 or 8 months along and it's apparent there's a baby in here and I can readily hear a heartbeat with the little monitor a friend bought me!
Here's a picture of me today. It's crazy but I am actually the same weight I was 16 weeks ago when I became pregnant. While scale shows the same number my stomach area is definitely different and I notice a little side bump (plus I feel like Dolly Pardon of late!). I actually lost 6 lbs in my first couple of months and have slowly been gaining it back. I was so sick and had horrible food aversions in the beginning.
It has all evened out though and I am looking forward to keeping up the healthy habits I have been sticking to- It helps that Andrew hates sweets (especially chocolate -if I eat even a little I'm in the bathroom) and he also loves fruits (sadly all I want are summer fruits at the moment-apples and kiwi fruits have become my good friends lately but I can not wait for some fresh, cold watermelon and ripe cherries!).
Basically spotty of late. I was so exhausted in the beginning and had issues needing a bathroom close at hand that I kind of just gave up on my exercise streak. Then I became lazy and had no motivation to even go outside for a walk (which was the bulk of what I was doing towards the end anyways).
Well that's just not acceptable and I am going back on a streak of at least 30 minutes a day. Today was Day 1 (I'm hoping to go longer than my last streak of 155 days total).
Day 1 of ?: 30 minutes on the elliptical (it was hard and I felt way out of shape!). I'm sure near the end of my pregnancy I will just be walking but for now I think the elliptical and swimming will be my main choices.
Life in general Update:
Is going great! I'm excited about what is to come and have been feeling much better lately. I hope to blogging more and keeping up on everyone's great start to the new year!
I have been doing well this week (as in no weight gain). My goal is to stay within my doctor's recommended weight gain of 0-3 lbs for the first trimester. Since I'm at 246 at 5'6" with a BMI of 39 my suggested weight gain is 11-20lbs for the whole pregnancy.
The first 3 months, I am focused on eating better (by better I have been eating well for awhile but I think eating Luna bars for breakfast might not be the best choice so I have packed up all my easy foods that are more on the processed side and have tried to eat better by cooking eggs or having a bagel). And to continue to exercise consistently- I'm on day 152 in a row today!!!
It is odd to be in a type of "maintenance phase" for the next couple of months. I have been so focused on losing weight that it is hard to shift gears and think beyond it. I have added some calories (about 300 daily) but other then that not much has changed and in a way I am glad as it seems like a lot of things are changing lately.
Hoping to get more runs in this week (tried last week but went to the gym instead on a couple of "training days" as I was just feeling lazy)- although with a storm traveling up the east coast I might get washed indoors this week!
Yep! It's official! I was sitting there last week and when I woke up one morning I decided to take a test after Adam had walked out and was headed down the stairs to go to work.
I really just did it as a reflex and expected it to be negative - I was a couple of days late and with what happened last month I had actually thought to just wait a couple of months before trying to get pregnant again (I know how irrational it might seem but I just kept thinking that being overweight might have been the cause of the miscarriage- so I thought I would just wait to lose some more weight).
But my Dr. was very nice and said that this just happens sometimes, that its normal and to keep trying- so I kept at it and I guess losing 65lbs, tracking my temperature everyday since April (to know exactly when I ovulated) and exercising everyday for over 5 months for at least 30 minutes (how this might have helped is that it actually raised my base temperature!) seemed to work!
I ran down the stairs after I texted Adam the picture and meet him halfway and hugged and laughed together!
I went to my doctor and so far everything seems to be fine and normal. I am 5 weeks and while it is early - I just feel different. Last time I just felt awful the whole time and had abdominal pains for 2 weeks straight- but none this time.
So I'm going to be positive and be happy -if something happens then I will deal with it then.
At my visit I was cleared to continue exercising like normal (besides using it to lost weight I started to consistently exercise to establish a routine so that I could continue while pregnant as I had heard that if you do exercise before getting pregnant you can continue while pregnant without any problems and it has tons of benefits down the road).
So today I did my first training run for a race in December that I ran last year. I jogged (I call it a run but it's more a slow jog) for a mile then walked the other 2 miles (total time 51:31). I have added 200-300 calories to my normal range and have my first appointment with the OB November 20th.
So happy and so excited for a healthy pregnancy!!!!! First month done and healthy, now into my 2nd month!!!
I used to be so focused on being "perfect" while "dieting" I would sabotage most of my weight loss efforts...
Mainly because that's all they were- weight loss focused.
If I ate something off the "bad list" for lunch then the whole day was an excuse to get in all the bad foods because I had "ruined' that day and was going to start over the next day.
If I missed some planned training run or gym date then the whole plan was scraped and I was a failure.
Luckily when I started on sparkpeople I realized that the process should be focused on being healthy regardless of the scale. It helped to not be so hung up on being so rigid. But I did throw myself into trying to train for a marathon. Those 4 months of training were hard but exciting as I was doing something I had never done before and I did feel healthy and strong.
But after the race the blues kicked in and as anyone who has tried to train for any event knows - take away the "required" training and it becomes overwhelming to figure out what exercise to do and another side effect that I didn't plan on was the change in exercise level should have signal to me that I needed to change my eating again.
But I didn't- I kept eating like I was running 16 mile long runs every weekend and 3 additional training runs a week.
I finally figured out some of the mistakes and adjusted and started just trying to exercise 30 mins a day- regardless of what it was- just move my body and stay within my calorie ranges.
Well just as I was way too rigid- I have now realized you can run into problems without some type of planning.
I might have been exercising but my motivation quickly waned to just the bare minimum. And while I was staying within my calories- I stopped really tracking and while within ranges the choices that made up those calories were getting less healthy by the week- I mean how I thought living off of luna bars and frozen yogurt most days was being "good" shows how my brain thought if it wasn't pizza and candy then it must be good...
I haven't figure how to get to a happy middle ground. For now I'm trying to "bring" it with my workouts and actually track all my food again and make an effort to make better food choices.
Thanks to everyone who commented on my last blog - it really helped to motivate me today that I need to start blogging more and continue on to the next part of this journey!!