Monday, September 23, 2013
Yesterday, 2pm rolled around and I was just getting out of the car. My dad was dropping me off at choir practice. For a 1/2 hour we all sat around and talked, still catching up from before the summer break. Once we got started, the director reminded us that we were performing next Sunday...and I found out that the performance will be recorded and PUT ON YOUTUBE!!! Oh my gosh! Suddenly, my nerves shot way up.
Next thing, i know, even though we were only practicing, I found my legs shaking and I was on the verge of a panic attack. Even though I joined the choir on my birthday in February, I've only performed with them twice so far- at the end of May and more recently, August 4th. But neither of those performances were recorded.
Then last night, while on Facebook, one choir member started talking to me:
F(riend): Hi, are you doing well?
M(e): I'm doing okay I guess, best weekend or day I've had in a while lol
F: You look so sad at choir
M: Oh...I certainly don't mean to. Might just be cuz I'm dead tired
And then we went on to other things. Then again this morning I get another message from someone else...
F #2: Hey, are you okay these days? I don't know you well but it seems as though you are going through some stuff. Let me know if there's anything I or we can do for you :)
I'm not sure how to tell them that not only do I think my confidence took a big nosedive over the summer, -not that I had much to begin with- and that I find some of them like F #2 kinda intimidating...
There's nothing really wrong per se. My life just never stops, there's always something happening.
Monday, August 26, 2013
A few months ago I had an appointment with a foot doctor. On and off for several years I've had what, my mom, my family doctor and I thought was a toe fungus. At this appointment the doctor clipped a small piece of nail off the big toe of my right foot and said she'd send it to the lab to get tested.
Next, she looked at my orthodics and running shoes. From my running shoes she could easily tell that with my left foot I walk normally, heel toe. My right however I don't. I walk mainly on my toes, toe, heel. Also my right leg is .7 cm shorter which might be 1 reason I've always limped. My orthodics; basically there she said next time I need a new pair she would recommend a couple changes.
BUT the big issue: she also said that based on what she's seeing she: 1) recommends I don't do too much walking or running and 2) when I eventually, get a full-time job I get something where I am not on my feet all day. She's worried that 10-15 maybe even 20 years down the road, I could potentially get hip arthritis because of the way I walk.
BUT, but..I can't give that up! I get that cycling and swimming might be better for me but walking and especially running give me this "high' that I need! I love it!
What do I do???
Thursday, August 01, 2013
My water streak is currently at 248 days. It will be 249 today. Should I bother continuing this streak you think? Or is it so ingrained that I don't need to anymore?
Some days getting 8 glasses a day is very tough. Those are the days where even just 1 glass has me needing the washroom 4 times in an hour. Boy those days are a struggle!
On the other hand, I have a lot of days where 8 glasses is a breeze. I will have no problems getting the 8 and sometimes even getting up to 10. Yet I am not sure what the difference is. On the easy days, is it the long workouts that do their part in allowing me to guzzle down more water? The heat on hot summer days? I have no idea!
Sunday, July 28, 2013
On Friday, I went to my riding lesson. It was approx. 26 degrees Celsius-hot but not too bad. It was a pretty good lesson. Towards the end however, my instructor said she was happy I'd managed to ride the entire lesson.
I replied saying that the weather kinda helped as I didn't have to worry about a re-occurrence of the heat stroke I had 2 summers ago, especially as once you've had it you're more susceptible to it. And that I find that, now when it gets really hot- say around 30-35 degrees Celsius or higher, I can't stand it as long as I could before I had the heat stroke incident.
She answered me by saying that "that's age too".
EXCUSE ME!?! If I was in my mid 30's or 40's, I could maybe understand her saying that. However, I am only 21. Also I am still in recovery mode from my bout with Cancer. I really didn't appreciate her comment, also I didn't tell her or show at all how bad it made me feel.
Thanks for being so understanding, Allison. You'd think having known me for 10 years now, you'd know me better than that.
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