Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Let me just cut to the chase here.... I am REALLY down on myself right now... I'm sorry for posting a whiney blog, but I really need some encouragement. Before I start my whine session, though, let's talk about the positive:
First off, getting back into my running swing is going GREAT! My little foot issue has nearly entirely disappeared, EVEN after my 14 miles on Saturday - no problems or flare-ups, nothing. So, that is SOOOOO encouraging! Keeping it taped up with KT tape seems to be really helping! WOOOHOOOO! I LOVE RUNNING!
Secondly, we are moving forward with our moving plans to go back to the States - the house is officially up for sale, and we have started the whole process for my husband to get his visa/permanent residency again... It's all very exciting, but at this point, for both things, it is just a waiting game. Waiting, waiting, waiting.... But hopefully, we will be able to leave here by the first of November. That is what I am praying VERY HARD for!
But here's my issue -
((((((( SIGH ))))))))
My eating has been HOR-RIB-LE!! I have CONTINUED to eat so poorly since my marathon.
Let me just stop there, and insert a few thoughts on that:
You know, a lot of people say that you "deserve" to eat whatever and celebrate after a marathon, but the more I have thought about it, the more damaging I think that mentality is. First of all, I spent months training and pushing my body to the limits. What my body REALLY deserves is for me to pump it so full of good, wholesome, nutritious food, to aid it in the whole regeneration and recovery process. That is what my body really deserves.... Not to stuff it full of junk. But anyway.
I just know for me, the worst thing to do is to get into the mentality that I "deserve" to eat this, or I can "afford" those extra calories from junk.... I SOOOOOO buy into it, and the longer I eat that way, the HARDER it is to get back on track!!! That is the EXACT recipe for weight loss rebound - telling yourself you can reward yourself with the junk that got you into trouble in the first place!
So, I have continued to eat poorly. LOTS of sugar, lots of sweets, lots of just nibbling, lots of over-eating, way past the point where I am really full and I know it.
Part of it is stress. I have been so busy. School projects and seminars that I have had to go to, preparing for my huge exam coming up, planning and organizing an Easter function at my church.... Crazy busy. Busy usually leads to stressful eating for me, stemming from a lack of time to prepare and keep healthy options around, and just plain stress eating - when I am stressed, and hungry, I just cannot seem to stop eating anything and everything within reach, regardless of how unhealthy!! And tracking???? Yeah, that flew out the window weeks ago.....
Then there is my foot issue I had. I love running, and when I can't run, it usually leads to bad eating..... Gotta get those endorphins somehow, right?? I just am so much more weak when it comes to food and craving control when I don't run.
All I know is, my weight is up, and I feel like crap from all my eating, my clothes aren't fitting right, and I just can't seem to "start over" and get back on track. So many times, I have tried to start afresh, resolve to eat right, and get back on track, but those days just turn into crap-eating days.
Yesterday was one of those - I started out good, then endulged in _______ at lunch time (doesn't matter what it is, everyone has their weakness foods, and that is what I had - my weakness food!), and then I just wanted to cry, I was so upset with myself. (That might have a little to do with TOM too, since that is going on right now, but still, seriously on the verge of tears!)
UUUGGGHHHH!! Yes, today has been yet ANOTHER "start-over" day, and it is going well so far. But seriously, the damage is done, and it will take weeks to get back to where I feel comfortable with myself. It's not like I don't know how to do this, I mean, I am not new to the whole weightloss game... It's just so tough to get back on track after letting so many bad habits back in....
Again, I am sorry for a whiney blog, but thanks for reading!! Any real words of encouragement or sharing of ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
So, I went out for a run today. I just had to. I couldn't help it. I had even thought about getting up this morning, but then when my alarm went off, I felt lazy and tired, so I went back to sleep....
Went to work at the cafe today, which was FUN!! I am SO gonna open my own cafe one day, hopefully in the US, like a little German cafe.... LOL... But that is off topic.
CONFESSION TIME: I ate a couple of pieces of delicious hand-made German Torte. I can't help it. Those ladies I work for make AWESOME Torte!!
So, I had to run because of that.
PLUS, the fact that I have rested for 3 weeks, and barely run.
PLUS this week I had a cold, and didn't do much exercise at all.
PLUS it was just plain and simple a GORGEOUS EVENING! Sun was shining. It was warm out.
I just HAD to GO! So, I told me son to grab his bike, and we set off together. I picked a new loop that I didn't know the exact distance of... I just set out nice and slow and EZ, in my Vibrams, with my KT tape all over my foot! LOL
We went off exploring, and had a great time. It ended up being 12 km!!! 7.5 miles!!!! I say that is really decent for me at this time, and my foot did NOT bother me AT ALL!! No pain. No discomfort. No tightness. No twinges. No weirdness at all.
So, I don't care how slow I have to run, but I have got to get my mileage back up. I miss it so much. I am sitting here just feeling AWESOME after my 7.5-mile run!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!
Happy sparking, everyone!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Here's my update, lovely Sparkers!
It's been more than 3 weeks since my foot started acting up. I have only run 3 times since then, including today. All 3 runs were between 3-4 miles. I AM DYING TO RUN FOR REAL!!! Seriously, I cannot wait to get my mileage back up, and be doing some decent long runs. I have been missing my long runs so much!!
This last week has been another rough, rough week, though NOT due to my foot issue!! I came down HARD with a bad cold that has not decided to quite leave me alone yet. At first, I thought it might be allergies, then it quickly turned to straight cold symptoms, which my kids also shared. Then just when I thought I should be over it, I went to the gym, biked there and back, and through the night, it got WAY WORSE...... VERY sore throat, tons of congestion in my throat and sinuses.... Not cool.
But on the positive side, it forced me to rest even more. I had already planned not to run this week, but that really solidified the decision. I actually haven't had ANY pain or discomfort AT ALL from my foot nearly the ENTIRE week, so I am sure the rest did me good.
I WENT RUNNING TODAY, though!! 3.25 miles... VERY slow and easy. And to be honest, it was more in an attempt to clear my sinuses, which worked like a CHARM! I felt really crappy, and all stuffed up this morning, but I couldn't sleep past 6:30, because I couldn't breath. So, I got up and just went. And I am SUPER glad I did!! I didn't have ANY pain or discomfort, and it didn't feel tender at all afterward.
THEN my KT tape came in the mail today!!! YAAAAAAYYY!! I have been waiting for it ALL WEEK, but it was coming from the UK, so it took several days. I didn't hesitate to tape up the foot for "peroneal tendinitis" (thanks for the tip, AMOHAME2), even though I didn't have any pain or anything from my run. I will keep it taped for a while, just to ward off any reoccurances....
So, off to spend some quality time with my man! Have a great weekend, SPARKERS!! HAPPY RUNNING!!
Saturday, April 09, 2011
Ok, y'all, here's my "waaahaaaa-booooohooooo" blog:
I'M INJURED!!! Here's how that went down - I trained and ran the marathon, no major issues. Had a little ITB trouble in the first part of training, but then it disappeared.
Then after the marathon, I felt really great. I recovered quickly, and started back running very slowly and easily. Then I felt ready to try a big run, so I thought. So I set out for 16 just about 4 weeks post-marathon. I guess maybe I took it too fast, or maybe 16 was too much, too soon, or maybe my body has been a little compromised because of the switching back and forth between Vibrams and regular shoes (because I have been running a LOT in Vibrams, though NOT for this 16-miler).
The 16 miles felt AWESOME! I mean, it felt so great to run that distance again. I love those long runs! And my foot totally didn't hurt throughout. I didn't notice any pain or discomfort until afterwards when I was showering, and my foot felt a little funny on the outside edge, and hurt to put weight on more on the outside of my foot..... Though walking wasn't really an issue, and the pain wasn't SOOOOO bad.
So, I iced it, and babied it a little, and it felt better. So, 2 days later I did 7 miles.... and it hurt BAD after that. I've had aches and pains here and there with long runs, and heavy training, and I have had my IT band act up, and piriformis pain plague me, but something about this pain really worried me.
I decided to take some time off running, and just do cycling. And I made an appointment with an orthopedic doctor to see if it was a fracture.
The doctor took X-rays, and all possibilities of a fracture were ruled out. After nearly a week, my foot was feeling much better, but something was still not quite right. But NO FRACTURE!! YAY!!
But it IS strained ligaments, he said. And after 2 weeks, it's still not completely better. I ran 3 times this week, but once doesn't really count, because it was only a little more than a mile. I ran 3 miles, and 4 miles. During both runs the foot did not hurt, but it was a bit more tender afterwards.
I was hoping to get a 10-mile run in today, because I was signed up for a half marathon is TWO WEEKS!! But I just did NOT feel that it was a good idea!! So, I went for a long bike ride instead.....
And I have decided....
I hate to do this.....
I mean, I REALLY hate to do this....
It pains me deeply to, but.....
But I am going to cancel that half marathon in 2 weeks. It makes me so sad, but I do NOT want to risk it!!!
Plus the race is a about 2.5 hours away from where we live, and I do NOT want to spend all that money on GAS just to get there and "see" how my foot holds up!! You guys in the US think gas prices are bad??? We STILL pay about twice what you all pay over here in Germany!! So, in addition to being on the road for about 5 hours, and paying probably nearly €150 in fuel, my husband will have to be there watching after the kids for 2 hours (NOT an easy task!), just for me to see if my foot can hold out long enough for me to run this race???!!!??? NO, I won't do that to my family.
Without the pressure of running that race, I will be more relaxed about my biking, and can take the necessary time off for my foot to get REALLY better. I REALLY do NOT want to miss the 30K I have planned in June, so taking the necessary time off now is VITAL to be fit and ready for that.
So, that's where we are at the moment, my fellow Spark runners. I have hit a bit of a snag in my running. And I am quite down about it. I do not feel NEARLY as motivate to go biking. Cycling is fun and all, as something on the side, or to change things up a bit, but I WANNA RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!!!!
With sadness in my heart, I must change my running plans.
But on a happier note, about our potential move which my husband likes to call Project "Pursuit-of-Happiness".... LOL.... My husband and I found out we should be able to get exactly what we had in mind for our house!! I know it all depends on the right buyer though, so we are praying for that. It will take about 3-9 months to sell, the agent said, which was also EXACTLY what we were thinking!! We would like to be all moved by Thanksgiving, but we will see. It will NOT be an easy transition back to the States!! It will be far more difficult than coming here, but we are just going to take one step at a time, and tackle one thing at a time, and.... hopefully be "home" for Thanksgiving!!
Thank you all for all your prayers, and positive thoughts during this time! Will keep you all posted!
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Ok, so after taking a bit of a break from SparkPeople, I feel like I am not SOOOO obsessive with it, and can get down to focusing on other business....
So, now to update you all:
WE ARE PLANNING TO MOVE BACK TO THE STATES!!! And I am totally BEYOND excited! After much prayer, we totally feel that this is the right decision. My husband and I are totally at peace. We have no idea how all the details will work out, and it seems so complicated and difficult, but we are trusting in the One who holds ALL things in His hands!
Have you ever gotten something you thought you had always wanted, or something you "asked" for, and it just NOT turn out to be what you wanted??? That is EXACTLY how coming to Germany has been for me. I had ALWAYS dreamed of living in a foreign country, even more specifically - GERMANY! So, when my husband started talking seriously about moving here to be close to his family, I totally jumped on the bandwagon!
We were promised this from his family:
* a job with the family biz (BMW, Ford, and Suzuki dealership, working for his aunt and uncle)
* a car
* a free apartment (a family-own apartment above the family biz)
* even our GAS for our car, since the family owns a gas station too.
It sounded so good! Moving to Germany is super easy too, when you are married to a German. You just walk into the immigration offices here, fill out a quick form, pay something like €35, and BAMM!! You got yourself a Visa to live here! Not like immigration to the States, which costs about $1,000 in multiple different forms, and takes about 6 months to be approved.
Anyway, our moved here seemed so easy. We had everything handed to us. Yet, before we even got here, we BOTH really had some doubts, my husband even MORE than me! But by the time he expressed them to me, it was too late. It was 2 weeks before our flights were to leave, we had sold our house, our car, EVERYTHING! And we had already shipped the things we meant to keep to Germany. Try reversing that.
So we went ahead and moved. But I have to say, the 4.5 years we have been here have been FULL of turmoil - VERY strained family relationships, horrible working conditions with his aunt and uncle which = total job stress, financial issues, everything. We had a falling out with his parents in the first year we lived here which got so bad, that I couldn't even be in the SAME ROOM as his mother, she was just absolutely hostile to me! His aunt and uncle are HORRIBLE managers and HORRIBLE people to work for, and it's been nothing but stress working for them. It's been a very difficult 4 years. Only a few months after we got here, my husband was already talking about going back.
But we have stuck it out. Honestly, I didn't want to leave Germany. I really love it here. I love where we live, and I love running out here in the country. I love being able to be submersed in a different culture and learn the language. I love that I can speak German now.
But while Germany is nice and all, Jan and I are ready to come "home!" He even says that. He loved living in the States, and he felt more at home there than he does here. And if you compare my family with his???????? Yeah, MY FAMILY, ANY DAY!! I have an AWESOME family who love him and except him just the way he is (unlike his mother with me.) And my family is just, well, AWESOME! Did I mention they are AWESOME? My 3 sisters and I, even though we have lived pretty far away from each other as adults, are all very close, and we LOVE getting together! They are just AWESOME! Yes, my extended family is pretty AWESOME!
So, as of now, we will be taking the necessary steps to head back. We are meeting with the real estate agent tomorrow to put our house up for sale. We are starting to apply for all of Jan's permanent residency junk. And we are moving forward!!
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR MY PLANS NOW:
First, I am gonna nix the vegetable garden. I just don't have the time, and it seems useless if we are going to be selling the house. The patch of yard that I have cleared for my vegetable garden will look much nicer with grass growing on it, so I will be planting grass there for now.... Makes me a little sad, but I want everything to look it's best.
Secondly, I will still be finishing up my schooling here in Germany. I want my CERTIFICATE!! We take our written final in May, like I said before, and our practical final in October. So, we are planning anytime around finishing that to return to the States, dependent upon when the house sells, of course.
Thirdly, I will still be studying toward my ACE Fitness Certification as a personal trainer, and coming over in July to visit, if all goes well.
Fourthly, my races - now, more than EVER, I want to do that marathon in October, the mountain trail one!! So, I definitely don't wanna leave until I conquer that mountain! I will, hopefully, be proceeding forward with all my races as planned.
So, there you have my update, Sparkers! I have some other updates to come, but those will have to be on another day....
Happy Sparking, everyone! Happy and safe running to all!!
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