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It's A Beautiful Start To The Week...

Monday, August 09, 2010

Itís a brand new day and despite the somewhat cloudy skies and bad attitude of others, I will not allow this to affect my brand new day. I had a much better time than I anticipated at the pool party. I stayed in the pool for a bit and really tried to get the kinks out of my hip by doing scissors in the deep end. We had grilled shishkabobs on the the grill and greenbean/tomato/potato salad vinaigrette style. We had that along with some delicious grilled shrimp.

Yesterday I was mindful of my eating. For lunch I practiced moderation and had hot dogs and mac & cheese with lima beans. Em and I enjoyed our lunch together. Yesterday morning I went to the store and bought some Ragu spaghetti sauce (chunky vegetable) at the store along with ground beef, carrots w/dip and low-cal popsicles. I cooked the meat and added it and a can of shrooms to the sauce and served with whole wheat whole grain pasta.

In the evening DH and I had a long talk about us. It would appear that we are both on different pages of different books in different libraries. I felt stronger than I had felt in some time. I have d/l'ed the Love Dare app for my iPhone. I will try and start doing that as a last ditch effort. Baby steps...

Now the best part of yesterday was my WI. This is what my scale read last Sunday:


This is what it read yesterday:


I was oh so happy to see the numbers go down within a week. After swimming at the pool, I am revisiting the idea of getting a membership to the gym that has a pool. I'm going to be signing up next month for Pampered Chef and start getting some $$ saved. I'm happy to say that it's now sunny outside. emoticon WOOHOO! Gray skies have gone away for the afternoon and there's less than 4 hours left in the day.

I am moving in the direction of my greatest dreams and defeat is NOT an option! LET'S DO THIS!!!! emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNWATERWOMAN 8/11/2010 5:43PM

    Glad that you had a good weight loss. I hope that you and hubby can work through things. Love ya, Dawn

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AMYISSUCCEEDING 8/10/2010 10:38AM

    Congratulations on the weight loss. Love your positive attitude. Have a wonderful day and let do this together.
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DJS-DEBBIE 8/10/2010 7:19AM

    Good for you, Simone! Let me know when you are doing Pampered Chef. I buy from them sometimes and I'd love to buy from someone I know!

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MELISSAJUSTINA 8/10/2010 6:47AM

    Congrats on the weight loss, thats fantastic!!! Keep up the great work...If you just keep working at it and make right decision about food and exercise, those pounds will be melting off!

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DEVORA4 8/9/2010 10:39PM

  emoticonbut you MUST stick with it

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HEATHERL219 8/9/2010 10:07PM

    emoticon emoticon

I know what you mean about being on different pages of different books in different libraries...been there myself. I wish you the best of luck with everything!

Congrats on the loss! That's awesome, and I'm glad you had a better time than anticipated at the pool party!! :)

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BARBIE042 8/9/2010 3:54PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 8/9/2010 3:48PM

    Listen to that attitude! Go get 'em!!! emoticon

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LESLIES537 8/9/2010 3:12PM

    WOOHOO!! I love the end to this blog..."Defeat is NOT an option." emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TEMPERANCE88 8/9/2010 1:40PM

    Good for you girl! It sounds like you're doing well, and I'm glad to hear that. Keep up the good work. You're a warrior!

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CAROLX914 8/9/2010 1:31PM

    GO SIMONE, Im so proud of you!

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Feeling Like A Failure But Looking Hopefully To The Future...

Saturday, August 07, 2010

This morning I am feeling like a failure. I am depressed over my marriage and realizing how close I am to my weight from 3 1/2 years ago. I am disgusted with myself for getting to this point. I can feel the extra weight in the smallest and the biggest things. Of course this adds to my depression.

Today we are going to a belated bday celebration. I am absolutely dreading it. It's a pool party. I really don't feel comfortable in my own skin and I know I will need to go in the water with DD. My"swimsuit" will consist of my long biker shorts and an extremely baggy t-shirt.

I have vowed to myself that at this time next year I will NOT be feeling this way. I will be fit. I will be happy. But most importantly I will win this struggle. I have reached bottom-feeling at my lowest point in some time. So my last promise to myself and for my daughter is to be down 100 lbs by this time next year. I just can't keep feeling like this and keep doing what I've been doing. If I keep doing what I've been doing, I'll keep getting what I've gotten.

It's time to make some serious changes in my approach to my weight loss AND life journey. I know that God will be with me and I pray that, you, my Spark family will be here for me as well.

Here's to taking that first step towards a brighter & healthier future... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ONEKIDSMOM 8/8/2010 8:49PM

    The deal with feelings is that they ARE temporary. You may be feeling low right now, but you are also feeling resolution. You can do this, and I'm over here in the cheering section wishing you well on the journey!

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 8/8/2010 7:26PM

    I'm sorry that you're feeling low. I'm cheering for you my friend. Love, Dawn

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MGRIFFITH32 8/7/2010 9:10PM

    I wish I was there to give you a hug and say that though you feel crappy (I get it) you won't be anymore miraculous or amazing a year from now when you're 100 pounds lighter. You'll be hot and that is, well, hot, but you are AMAZING.

Right. Now.

:)

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TEENY_BIKINI 8/7/2010 9:06PM

    I am so so so sorry you are feeling this way. You have accomplished so much and I have no doubt you can do or conquer anything. Your friends are with you and you are strong and can battle like a warrior - I just know it.

Sending big hugs you.

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SUZIAND 8/7/2010 9:42AM

    Of course your spark family will be with you...every step of the way. We all understand how you are feeling....and the struggle. It is not easy...but it is definitely something you have the strength to do.

Make yourself the priority. Your family will understand. You have got to put yourself "first" right now. 100 pounds is a big goal ... but I believe you can do it. And just as important as the weight loss... focus on loving yourself. That number on the scale doesn't define who we are. Who you really are.. is a wonderful, talented, beautiful woman who needs to see herself like everyone else does! :)

Love ya,
Suz : )

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JETSOX 8/7/2010 9:28AM

    Oh, honey...I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy. But you know you have it in you...you've done it before and you can CERTAINLY do it again. You have tried a bunch of different approaches...which one works the best? Which one can you stick with? Decide what you're gonna do and get to it!!
I totally totally totally understand how you feel about the party today, and I feel for you. But let everyone there see you, and next year when you're 100 lbs lighter, they will be AMAZED!!!
I am here for you, S. I know you haven't been happy in your marriage for quite some time, but your focus and energy needs to be on yourself right now. I hate hearing how down you are. Regroup, refocus, and get yourself in a place where you have a plan that you can stick to. And don't overdo it...be realistic and don't push yourself too hard--you'll only burn out.
I'm going to call you this week (BTW, I saw that I missed your call the other day...sorry!). Hang in there and take the weekend to get your plan down on paper. You have a ton of friends here and a ton of resources and support at your fingertips. DO IT.

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PSFITMOMMY413 8/7/2010 9:26AM

    Stop making excuses and letting life get in the way and just do it. Have someone that is in your real (non-spark) life be there to motivate and encourage you, but mainly to hold you accountable. Losing 100 pounds is doable; I've done it, but you can't just keep wishing for it. Start getting serious about your health.

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MELISSAJUSTINA 8/7/2010 9:20AM

    Lets start today!!! Get on track ,eat healthy and get those exercise minutes in! You can do it, I know you can. You are a strong woman!!! Do it for your daughter, you need to be there for her!!!!

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FITGRL124 8/7/2010 9:07AM

    Oh dear Simone - I feel your pain. But - I agree with Delrio...let's make TODAY the first day of a new journey!!

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Comment edited on: 8/7/2010 9:07:34 AM

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DELRIO1 8/7/2010 9:03AM

    Let's make today the first day of the new journey towards your happiness!

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Baby Step Three...

Monday, August 02, 2010

As I mentioned, I purchased a new scale. For those who like to live in the dark, we now have glow in the dark scale that brings you to the light!



I have to say I was quite alright with that number during the day. I mean, no it's not the best combo of numbers but it wasn't upsetting me or getting me down. Then last night I started thinking emoticon What a disaster that was! I was 343 when I joined WW in 2007. So my mind starts calculating.... emoticon That means I've gained 80 lbs of the 120 I had lost emoticon

Oh well....moving onward...Today is Baby Step 3 day. I came across a Spark article and I am going to model this blog somewhat after it.

What is my wellness vision? Where do I envision myself 3-5 years from now? Set 3 month & weekly goals based on my wellness vision. They need to Specific, Measurable, Action-based, Realistic and Time-oriented.

~I worked on my vision collage earlier this winter. But I know that it has made its way to the back of my room instead of the front of my sight. I want to be fit and tone. I want to be able to keep up with Emma outdoors. I want to be able to go hiking, ride a bike, go kayaking and many other things without being breathless. I want to be eating tons of fruits & veggies while setting a good example for my family.

~Three to five years from right now I envision myself working with young children and helping them to see the fun in exercising. I see myself helping postpartum Moms with depression by using exercise. I envision myself being able to fit into ďthatĒ dress, wearing that swimsuit on the beach, doing double takes in the mirrors and firming up what I have.

I want to live longer, climb the stairs without getting winded, walk and then run a 5K, have more energy and feel and be stronger. I really want to be able to go to one of the local amusement parks and feel comfortable getting on a roller coaster. I want to walk into a room and feel like people are staring at me because I look stunning & sexy, not because I am obese. I want to go back to when people ask me ďdid you lose weight?Ē

6 month goal:
Career-Start Classes

3 month goal:
Health/Fitness-Lose 20 lbs

Weekly goals:
~Finance: Save $$ for my Emergency Fund/reread & relisten to Financial Peace University
~Health/Fitness-Exercise 5 days a week mixing up cardio and strength training,
~Career-Research degree programs that would be covered by work

Lately Iíve had many reminders that tomorrow can be taken away from us in a heart beat. Iíve also learned that I need to be kinder than necessary for everyoneís facing some sort of battle. My personal life feels as though itís in an upheaval but I am determined that I will not allow it to affect me in a negative way any longer. Iíve spent way too much time doing this. I am moving in the direction of my greatest dreams and defeat is NOT an option!


Here is my why. My reason for continuing on this journey. Emma makes it all worthwhile for me. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that I am here with her for as long as possible. I want to be a good example to my child who is the light of my life! emoticon

By the way I did come out of the dark with the scale and into the light...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PINKNFITCARLA 8/8/2010 2:02PM

    Believe in those dreams and amazing things will happen. I'm up for running/walking any time you want! You still have a great buddy and friend in me :-)

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DJS-DEBBIE 8/4/2010 1:06AM

    You can do this, Simone, for yourself and your beautiful daughter!
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FITGRL124 8/3/2010 6:54PM

    Look at you go - these are awesome reasons and you will do this! Your daughter is gorgeous! emoticon

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DALMOMOF3 8/3/2010 2:51PM

    Im proud of you simone, sorry you are having personal issues, you and i are so much alike. Beautiful picture of your daughter and good thing you have a nice pedicure, you can see it in the picutre lol!!! You can do this, we both can. Hugs

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JETSOX 8/3/2010 11:22AM

    I love your goals, Simone!! I love your vision and your determination!!
And...I love your toenail polish!! Hee hee. (really, I do)

You can do anything you truly put your mind to........DO IT!!!

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MELISSAJUSTINA 8/3/2010 7:17AM

    You can do this!!! All those baby steps and one day at a time! You got this girl!

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DETERMINEDAGAIN 8/3/2010 12:12AM

    I'm so happy for you that you are moving in the right direction. You have wonderful resolve and I know you will accomplish this!

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DIFROMWYOMING 8/2/2010 11:45PM

    Wonderful goals and what a beautiful reason!
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LOOZINITNOW 8/2/2010 8:19PM

    You are going to make those dreams a reality!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYCOCONUT 8/2/2010 7:29PM

    Look at you go! Those are great goals. Good Luck emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUSTWANTTOLOOSE 8/2/2010 4:21PM

   
I have never thought of them as "wellness" goals but it does make sense. Awesome goals! You can do it, believe in yourself! emoticon

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LESLIES537 8/2/2010 3:58PM

    LOVE your wellness vision! YOU CAN DO THIS!! emoticon

~p.s. Emma is a doll!! So pretty, just like her momma! emoticon

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VICIOUS421 8/2/2010 3:38PM

    You are going to do great and you have the best reasons of all, I see it when I look into that beautiful little girl's eyes!!!!!!

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TEMPERANCE88 8/2/2010 3:06PM

    Very realistic goals. You can do it! Keep holding on to the dream.


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CATHY_G 8/2/2010 2:58PM

    Your goals sound great! I think having well thought out goals will make the journey easier, and you can measure success easier. I wish you great success on your journey.

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Baby Step Two

Sunday, August 01, 2010

So my first step last week was to exercise. I may not have done it perfectly but I did make an effort.

This morning I decided that in order to go forward I needed to get a scale. So off to Target I went in search of a brand new scale. I even picked the movie Finding Nemo. I got it for Em but it was also a reminder to me to "just keep swimming". Tomorrow I will post a blog with some pics. Don't think I cam do that with iPhone.

I have updated my numbers and my goals. I'm still moving forward and I'm taking no prisoners. I will not allow circumstances in my life to affect my journey. Enough of the emotional eating. This is MY weight loss journey and "I" am the one who's in control here. Can't let others control me. I WILL DO THIS!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITGRL124 8/2/2010 10:18AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

You can do it!! We're swimming together friend!! emoticon

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DEVORA4 8/1/2010 10:58PM

  Baby steps lead to big steps Just do it emoticon emoticondeb

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MELISSAJUSTINA 8/1/2010 9:58PM

    Awesome job on all the baby steps!!!!

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DETERMINEDAGAIN 8/1/2010 9:20PM

    Way to go on baby step two! Just remember not to become scale obsessed :)

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TEENY_BIKINI 8/1/2010 9:19PM

    I am proud of you for taking the first step. That is awesome. Let's rock August.

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LOOZINITNOW 8/1/2010 7:28PM

    Kudos to you for going and buying a new scale and updating your numbers. You are going to do this!

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PINKNFITCARLA 8/1/2010 4:26PM

    emoticon

Next weekend is the Caribou coffee get together. Think you can make this one?

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DJS-DEBBIE 8/1/2010 3:49PM

    Good for you!

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 8/1/2010 3:39PM

    emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYCOCONUT 8/1/2010 3:33PM

    Yes you are in control and you can & will succeed!!!
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KDEYOT35 8/1/2010 3:25PM

    Good for you!! YOU CAN DO THIS! And you definitely have the right mindset...you go girl!

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Smacked Into Reality By My Daughter & Friends...

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Ok it's the end of the week as well as the month. I have gotten in a bit of exercise while I've been off. My eating still needs some work. After reading my good friend's blog-JETSOX-I felt a Spark ignite and I know I'm going to keep on moving forward.

I have a new long term goal: a cruise fort 39th bday! I've never been on one. I am also considering venturing back into direct sales to make some extra $$$. I want to be able to start my emergency fund and put aside some for travel. I need to stop waiting to live.

This afternoon I had a dose of reality. Em fell & skinned both of her knees. I picked her up and carried her part way and I had to stop. I could feel the extra weight that's been creeping back up affecting my ability to act quickly. And that my friends was quite upsetting. So I plan to wake up early tomorrow morning and get in a good walk while the air is cool.

As many of you know, my daughter is a big part of my want. My health is being compromised. It's about getting serious and not making excuses. I WILL DO THIS emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABY_GIRL69 8/1/2010 1:10PM

    I too know that you have it in you as we all do. Baby steps, remember, change the mind, change the body. God bless & I pray the Baby is doing okay.

Dee

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DJS-DEBBIE 8/1/2010 7:10AM

    I know you can do it and so can I! New day, new week, new week, new month - new outlook!

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 8/1/2010 1:43AM

    emoticon

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CAROLX914 7/31/2010 11:42PM

    You are able to do it all.. congrats on finding your innerspark again..

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SUZIAND 7/31/2010 11:34PM

    Yes...friend....you WILL do this!! I have every ounce of faith in you!!! A daughter is an excellent source of inspiration!

Excellent thought on not waiting to live. I've kind of been thinking that way myself lately. : )


/hugs,
Suz : )

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