Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Well, my dear mother in law passed away during the night on Feb 18. I have not been on here since right before then. Sort of lost my focus, I guess. I'm very sad she is not with us anymore, but I am glad she is not suffering, either.
We joined Marathon Makeover - go from Couch Potato to Marathoner in 40 weeks. I would have NEVER believed I would be able to wog (walk/jog) 9 miles. Well, I've done it twice now, and will do it again this weekend. Marathon Makeover has plans for us to run a Half Marathon on June 25. That's 13.1 miles. That would warrant getting a tattoo, I think. :-)
A lot of my weight gain had to do with --- I NEVER WANTED TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE. Ever. Not for any reason. Hunger makes me uncomfortable, and stress makes me uncomfortable, pain makes me uncomfortable. I broke my tailbone a number of years ago, so I self medicated with food and beer. I also had a number of failed relationships. More self medicating. I was a single mom for 18 years. Self medicate, self medicate, self medicate. Before I knew it, I had gained 70 pounds. (sigh).
I really hope I am back on track now. The new food tracker makes it easier, for sure! I hope they get the iPad app to match the food tracker on the website. I hardly touch the computer since I got my iPad.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
My husband and I have finished the deck. All the old boards were discolored and some were even rotten in some places. We have a screened in area over the pool, which we also had rescreened this weekend. I usually eat a low carb diet, but I found that with the strenuous activity that we were experiencing with prying, lifting, sawing, moving and screwing down boards, we needed MANY more carbs to get this done. We ate what we wanted last week, which included baked fries and steak, an Amy's pizza, and (gulp) some beer after the second nights work. We finished Friday afternoon, with only one side of the deck to be finished, but it's the "easy" side, so the hard part is well over with. We have had people who have seen it say that it looks like two professional men did it, not a man and his wife. :-) WOOP WOOP!
AND, even after all the carb eating last week, I lost a pound!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I guess my MIL is still in surgery, my SIL hasn't called to say that she made it out ok.
I am still sticking to my diet plan. I am NOT going to cave in to fill the stress hole with food.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Looks like my MIL's mastectomy surgery is going to be this coming Tuesday, whether we like it or not. SIL made the decision without consulting my husband. MIL is in and out of lucidity, so I have no idea whether she knows what's coming. All I know is I would be wholly humiliated to wake up and discover my breast is gone and no one told me. I just hope nothing happens, because we are leaving for my father's 80th birthday next weekend. We have to hope whatever happens will be for the best.
On the upside, I've lost another pound!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
On Sep. 24 2008, my 81 year old MIL woke up and knew something was terribly wrong. She called my SIL, who found something was wrong, and had the ambulance take her to the hospital. Since they live in a rural area, it was 12 hours before surgery to correct the burst artery in my MIL's head happened. She is now 100% disabled and cannot communicate very well.
We found out yesterday that my MIL will have to have a mastectomy due to an autonomous tumor they found in her left breast has gotten bigger by 1cm in 4 months time. We think she retained a good bit of brain damage when she had a 3 hour seizure due to a morphine overdose by a nurse who did not see on her chart she was not have no more narcotics after a ventricular paratenial shunt that was put in a year and a half ago to drain cerebral spinal fluid that was not draining from her ventricals properly. We don't think she understands the gravity of this whole thing. All my MIL does is groan and grunt all day and night, and pull at the hand that doesn't work anymore. She comes in and out of lucidity, and has aphasia, which is frustrating for everyone, including my MIL. She went from completely independant before this happened to completely DEpendant two years ago. If she does not have this surgery, the tumor that will pop out of the skin and become a smelly sore that never heals. (ick)
It would be a no-brainer for someone who had their wits about them to have the surgery, but to have your child decide whether to chop off your breast, after everything that's happened.....It's bothering me that no one has attempted any sort of therapy with her to deal with her loss --- loss of independance, loss of communication, loss of a breast. That's a lot of loss. I would be heartbroken, crushed, horrified, depressed. maybe suicidal..... but none of us know if she feels any of that, because the aphasia does not permit her to communicate her feelings.
You know, we all wish we could just pass swiftly into the night when it's our time to go... no one deserves what essentially amounts to daily torture for our last days.
I pray when she does go that it will be easy for her.
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