Tuesday, February 11, 2014
I called my Aunt on the way to work to see if she ate and took her meds. I have called every morning since I got home. It's the only thing I can think of to help. I hate the fact that no one is there for her and my uncle. My aunt said this lady, Pam, who I met, is telling them not to move, she will move and take care of them. Pam's boyfriend has a drug problem and I think she is trying to take advantage of my aunt and uncle who are in their 80's. I am ready to go back down and punch her out! I told Pam the doctor said they need to be in assistant living. Since Pam has no place to live she said she will move into their house and take care of them. I was so upset when my aunt told me! They are so vulnerable! I called my aunt's son and he called Pam then told me she will back off. I have such a hard time with people like that.
Today I once again stayed in my calorie range. I had a big, juicy Honeybell orange from my Florida trip, a super green salad, complete with kale, peppers and onion for lunch, and my gotta have everyday break stone cottage cheese.
I had tilapia, green Chilis and tomato and cheese tortellinis out to cook for dinner, and I got over ruled by my son and husband to go to a local Italian Place -- I think my husband didn't feel like fish. I ended up with lobster ravioli - changed the cream sauce to spicy marinara and had a house salad with balsamic on the side. Still ended up in calorie range.
I came home and baked 2 dozen cookies for the school bake sale. I am not a baker so I am very proud to say they all came out perfect :)
I wanted to try the t25 with my husband. He did it right before i came home from work - I told him I wanted to try it with him today!! So, it didn't happen today. I don't know why he did that. I have to tell everybody "hold on, this is a priority". I used to do this, not sure why I am not right now. I am going to focus on why so I can change it. Best I can guess right now is I am trying to make everybody else happy. If this keeps going they won't be happy because I won't be happy!!
I gotta get my mojo back on the treadmill!
Feel free to whip my butt in the comment section!!
Saturday, February 08, 2014
I haven't forgot you guys!
I had to fly to Dallas for four days to check on my Aunt who has Parkinson's. It has affected her swallowing and she stopped going to therapy for it (doesn't want to ride in the car with my uncle). We got her in to the Doctor yesterday and she is down to 97 pounds. Of course, she got a huge lecture from me! They won't move near a relative (everyone is offering and begging). They are in their 80s and change is hard.
I leave tomorrow so today I am purée ing different soups and putting them in individual freezer containers. Her daughter will fly in Thursday and we will workbon at least getting them into assisted living.
Monday, February 03, 2014
One year ago today, my nightmare began. A nightmare that would plummet me to a dark, dark place I had never been -- and never want to go to again. I found out my 24 year old son was dying - from anorexia.
It is certainly a year I will never, ever forget. It was a year of begging go to an anorexic hospital, arriving at one in San Diego, walking the floor of an anorexic hospital and seeing the most malnourished, skinniest but still alive possible people ever, and realizing my son was one of them.
A year of begging him to eat, wondering if he had severe kidney damage, trying to stay patient through all his negativity and stupid choices because his brain had totally shrunk due to malnourishment.
A year of planning his viewing and funeral - does he want to be buried or cremated? Taking him to a lawyer to write his will. He's 24 - a mother should not have to think about this! How will I be at his funeral?? I bought a black dress for his funeral.
Staying strong and positive...who else is going to? If I am not, he will give up.
A year of being his advocate...constantly calling his doctors, cornering psychiatrists at hospitals, educating friends and his brother so they "tolerate" him and his eating habits "picking tiny bits of food, cutting food into tiny bits, eating with his fingers and not talking at all while he eats, going to the bathroom - is he throwing up his dinner?". Following him constantly to the bathroom, knowing he was constantly throwing up in the shower...how many showers can he take in one day??
Yes, it was a year of shear hell. A year of reading any book on anorexia I could get my hands on - the ones where the anorexic didn't die at the end. $30,000. on one dropped him the second we moved back east, an apartment in San Diego twice as expensive as home far away from my husband.
But, there were some positives -- a brother in California going through a painful divorce and alienation from his children who tried to help, tons of runs on the beach, a great nutritionist for my son (she was also an anorexic), quality time with my son - car ride to Vegas - with Roxy - included!
And then we came home and it went backward. But, in December, at the brink of death, and a kidney thought to be totally damaged, a psychiatrist in the hospital said something that finally clicked "it's harder to do what you are doing than to let go". And then my son let go.
Today he found out his blood work came back normal...ironically to the exact day one year ago this nightmare began. He still has a long way to go but is so much better than he was.
My point in sharing this with you - this diet thing can go either way. Balance is so important.
Respect your body and yourself. And - watch your children. We are not only their greatest role model, but their greatest advocate. My son was heavy in high school, lost weight by cutting fat and eating half and then kept going when he got to his ideal weight. He is now obsessed with the scale and we are trying to reprogram him. It is a challenge against media posted everywhere!!
Please be aware! I would not wish my 2013 on anyone!!
Saturday, February 01, 2014
A couple of Sparkers asked about veggie cheese. I have used this brand for as long as I can remember.
It comes in all different flavors. I especially like pepperjack and provolone and their parmesan cheese.
You can find it in the vegetable section of most grocery stores.
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