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No Matter how you feel, Get up, dress up, show up, and Never give up!

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

This quote, one of my favorites got me out of bed today. "No Matter how you feel, Get up, dress up, show up, and Never give up!"

It got me to take a shower, put on nice clothes, do my hair and make-up, and make my breakfast.

So then I took the Bostons for a nice long walk around the marina and thought "I can do this today". I can find out what is now wrong health-wise with my son and face the day. He went into the hospital, all will be good in the world.

So I went to work to do what I had to, and found my husband wrestling a Christmas tree outside of the Elementary School. The holder had a leak, hence water - all over the inside foyer. Oh joy! Between all the headaches of the flood at the school and my son's illness/hospitalization my poor husband, as he put it, has reached the end of his rope. (Luckily no one saw him wrestling the tree). He told me if he disappears for a week don't worry, he will be back.
All I could think is "How can I do that?"

So I went into my poor, torn up office and completed what I need to. My son texted me that he didn't like the hospital food and asked me to bring him his favorites. He wanted Cool Ranch Doritos, Men's Health Nuts, and Costco Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. I told him I would be up when I was done working and I get a this text from him "OK, I will starve to death".

Now, I wanted to type "You already are" or "If you are really that hungry you will eat the hospital food", but I have learned that falls into what he wants. He is very manipulative. So, I ignored it.

When I was done with my work and ready to go to the hospital it was 12:30. I realized this is where I fell off the maintenance track last time. So, I ate the lunch I had packed before I went to the hospital. I am going to have to make a conscious effort to stay on track through this ordeal.

While I was sitting with my son, his new psychiatrist came in and asked to speak with me privately. My son seemed edgy about it, but, in the end gave permission. The psychiatrist tells me my son wasn't very honest with him, saying he wasn't having eating disorder issues right now. The Dr also told me he weighs less than the last time he went into the hospital, right before I took him to Rady Hospital in San Diego. I didn't ask for the number, it would have broken my heart, but I know it is under 100 lbs. He also told me my son is anemic and that is strange for a male. I googled anemic with anorexia, and they can go hand in hand, so I am not really sure why the pyschiatrist thought it was abnormal. It explains why my son is so cold all of the time. I told the psychiatrist my biggest fear is that the Doctors will let him go home. It was so hard to get him to go this time, I can't imagine him ever going back. The good news is that he is in a Delaware hospital, which works differently than where we live in Maryland. The psychiatrist has the authority to commit him indefinitely. He said it would be the last ditch effort to save him. That made me feel better, although it took everything I had during that meeting not to break down.

We are hoping he decides to go to a treatment center. My therapist suggested giving him a choice - psychiatric ward or the treatment center.

So, I went back for a while and watched my son sleep, finally got to have a really hard cry in my car on the way home, talked to my BFF from Texas (who just happened to call out of the blue) and then took the Bostons for another long walk.

My husband went to help a friend and then will be home a little later, so we will be having a chat.

This not giving up thing is really hard!

Added note: I am taking care of my son's Boston while he is in the hospital...she is 2 -- Roxy "tolerates" her!!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IFDEEVARUNS2 12/14/2013 6:39AM

    emoticon

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KRISZTA11 12/6/2013 3:59PM

    I hope he will stay long enough to improve his eating and his general health. It must be so hard... but you are doing great, however hard it is.
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SUNSHINE20113 12/6/2013 3:40PM

    Sometimes all you can do is take a day one minute at a time.

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CYCLINGSANDY 12/6/2013 10:41AM

    I totally agree about this not giving up stuff is HARD and I HATE it!
I was pleased to know your son was hospitalized as you were hoping he'd follow through.
Now I am praying for an extra measure of peace and grace to enter your world right now.
Thanks for your support and encouragement.

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BOILHAM 12/6/2013 10:06AM

    Glad the situation with your son is improving. That the doc has told you he can keep him hospitalized seems like very good news to me.
Take care and keep in touch.

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MWWENSIN 12/6/2013 9:48AM

    Good luck. Continue to be strong. I will keep praying. Glad he is at the hospital though.

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SABLENESS 12/5/2013 8:11PM

    Some goodies from Florida
emoticon emoticon and emoticon

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MBTEPP 12/5/2013 10:52AM

    As in a long distance race, there are ebb and flows in one's pace. Find your strong! Sometimes the distractions in other areas of our life are good. You can handle this. Thanks for posting. I think of your struggle, and pray often.

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KIWIANN 12/5/2013 9:49AM

    You have so much going on in your life right now, but you are handling it with grace! Continuing to pray for you and your family! emoticon

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COFFEELS 12/4/2013 11:24PM

    thinking about you and hoping your son gets better soon. I hope you keep staying strong during this difficult time and that things get better soon. emoticon

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BEWELL48 12/4/2013 9:14PM

    My heart goes out to you during this difficult time!
emoticon
Do love your quote'

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LPRUNWALK 12/4/2013 8:55PM

    Isn't it amazing that your BFF just happened to call when you needed her? Little blessings like that happen when we are in the flow of life, doing what we need to do for others and for ourselves. You are getting your work done, caring and advocating for your son, your husband, and yourself. It's a lot. I will be thinking about you and wishing you strength and easier times ahead.
LP

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KAREN_NY 12/4/2013 8:33PM

    Sweetie, I'm afraid I have nothing to add except prayers and hugs. This is SO Freakin Hard. I know. Please know that you're loved and you're doing everything you can. He's got some hard work to do to... if he wants to. ((hugs))

PS - yeah, still mostly offline. PM me if you want to. :)

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5BADDOGS 12/4/2013 6:53PM

    Thoughts and prayers with you, your poor hubs, and your son... You are made of some pretty tough stuff - and I applaud you making time to take of some of your needs right now (like eating on schedule, and getting in some decompression walking). Its important not to get completely lost in all that is swirling around you right now. Be well.... *hugs*



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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 12/4/2013 6:13PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SPAMUNDY 12/4/2013 5:48PM

    emoticon You are amazing. Take care of yourself.

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SPEEDYDOG 12/4/2013 5:37PM

    Wow, you have lots of things going on and the weight of the world on shoulders. At least you are getting a little respite by walking your pups! Did you get another Boston?

Thanks, Bruce

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EDENZMOM 12/4/2013 5:19PM

    you're an amazing woman. check your inbox

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Blew A Fuse & Then Things Started Looking Up...

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

My phone rang and woke me at 6:29 am this morning. My ring tone is the Brady Bunch theme song, so I did wake with a jolt! My opening Director told me the fire alarm went off and I could hear it in the background. She didn't see a fire or smoke. My husband said it was probably set off by all the dust from the torn out drywall and ceiling tiles - but that was a guess so in 25 mins I was dressed and at the school ready to meet the firemen. They were not there, my Director had cancelled them. A fuse had blown in the room where the alarm went off because there was four huge fan blowers running.

I then walked around the school and almost cried. Drywall is torn out of the teachers' lounge, my toddler classroom, my office, the hallway and three bathrooms. My thoughts went back to when the school was built. And, I knew in two weeks it would be back to "normal".

I ran to Dunkin Donuts for a coffee and egg/cheese muffin and then quickly went through my pile of work for the day. My son asked me to take him to the hospital AFTER he put new speakers in his Mustang. My husband talked to our family Doctor this morning and found out that the Dr had put together a team of Doctors at a different hospital than my son had wanted to go to. I was excited about this development but worried my son would not want to go. I decided not to say anything and see what happened. I waited outside for 45 minutes for my son to finish with his car (I got a lot of Sparking done) and then he got his dog and hopped in the car. He said we had to hurry because the hospital had called and had a bed for him. Turns out that his best friend (the one fighting cancer for the third time) works in the pharmacy there! I had his dog so I dropped my son off at the main entrance. I think it may be easier for him to talk about his issues and be more open if I am not there so I found it a great excuse to leave. I said to call if he needed anything.

My son is still mad at my husband. He said he doesn't want his dad to visit him in the hospital. He doesn't have a good reason to be mad at his dad, and I am sure he will work it out as he goes. I don't think my husband cares if he doesn't see him right now, he is so frustrated with the whole thing.

So, thanks for all your prayers, it is helping! And, thank you for your continued support. When I signed up to SparkPeople close to 3 years ago I thought it would be totally focused on running and weight loss. I never, in a million years thought that it would involve all of this! It has helped me more than you could ever know.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDERGALE 12/5/2013 1:40AM

    I hope it all works out for you and your family.

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KAREN_NY 12/4/2013 3:49PM

    Thanks so much for sharing the encouraging news. :)

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TERI-RIFIC 12/4/2013 11:01AM

    I'm so happy for you that your son went to the hospital on his own. I'll continue to pray for all of you.

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KIWIANN 12/4/2013 10:26AM

    You certainly have more than enough excitement in your life right now!!
I am so happy that your son is finally getting the treatment he needs! emoticon emoticon

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SPAMUNDY 12/4/2013 9:13AM

    Glad to hear your son is getting the help he needs. emoticon

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ROXYZMOM 12/4/2013 8:03AM

    He is in a hospital - not well enough for in-patient care yet. This hospital has a psychiatric ward in it. So, we are starting here...

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EDENZMOM 12/4/2013 8:00AM

    I am so proud for you that he finally walked through those doors. This is the gateway and the beginning for him to a new and healthy lifestyle. We will all keep you guys in our thoughts and keep the positive flowing your way. This an in-patient clinic, right? I hope they connect with him and that you can relax through your holiday season and turn over a new leaf in the New Year.


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MWWENSIN 12/4/2013 6:29AM

    Above all, I'm glad your son went to the hospital. That is what he needs even if he doesn't realize it. I'll keep praying for you and your family.

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OVERWORKEDJANET 12/4/2013 6:10AM

    Man, that's a lot on your plate!
All the stuff at the school is just stuff. You know it will be fixed.
And your son, he has to fix himself.
I've been through it with other issues with a child. It's heartbreaking, not easy and they have to work from within to get it.
Keep your chin up.

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INFLATED 12/3/2013 10:45PM

    I thought you were angry-Blew a fuse, blew a gasket. I know this is hard right now, but that is a great blessing that the damages will be covered by the plumbing company.

My son overflowed the tub at our old house and Service Master came and dried out everything and dry walled the living room ceiling and repainted the room. There was about a 3 foot gash in the ceiling from water that came down from the bathroom upstairs.

I am glad you son is in the hospital. I went back to my last post on your blog and read forward. I will continue to pray for you all. It is good that cleaning is helping. I really like the racing medals area.

Take care of your marriage through all of these trials. You and your husband are under major stress with the damages at the school and with your son.

The picture of the river was beautiful! You need serene scenes like that to calm the mind.

The coffee that I spilled looked like ground coffee, but it was instant. No liquid involved but a big mess because it scattered when it hit the floor and it went under the stove.

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MBTEPP 12/3/2013 10:33PM

    So sorry to hear about your school. That kind of project can throw off all sorts of progress in other areas.

Glad to hear your son is headed in the right direction. Keep up the good work. It is paying off. Our children are an investment.

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SHAMROCKY2K 12/3/2013 8:20PM

    Keep being the rock!

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SABLENESS 12/3/2013 6:27PM

    There's a great verse in the Apocrypha where the second half goes like this: "it has not turned out as I expected." Says it all, does't it? Glad to hear son is in the hospital; hope this is the life-changing experience he needs. Bless you and husband. emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 12/3/2013 6:22PM

    emoticon

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Blew A Gasket!!

Monday, December 02, 2013

This morning I walked in to open the school (early childhood and elementary) at 6:15. My normal opener was on vacation. I walked into water almost everywhere! The hallway, my office, adult bathrooms, staff lounge, toddler room and PreK classroom! Parents with children start coming in at 6:30. I saw water pouring down from the ceiling! I ran and shut the water off and bolted up to the attic. A gasket attached to a pipe to the water heater had blown, The attic floor was soaked. I ran back down and called the plumber and then started moving furniture out of the most destroyed classroom. My teachers helped me get the hallway dry so no one would fall. The plumber came out within half and hour and fixed the gasket. My husband got in around 9:30 (had his phone off and missed my twenty calls!). Turns out it is the plumbing company's fault. They fixed it two weeks ago and didn't change the rotted gasket. Their insurance is paying for it. -- the cost will be in excess of $50,000.00!!

For six hours I used the wet dry vac, mopped, moved furniture, toys, did wash, shampooed carpets. I am exhausted! I think I might be getting too old for this! I did have several parents thank me for not closing. a water remediation company is still there (it's 10 PM) yanking out dry wall, ceiling tiles and carpets. It's a huge mess!

On the "up" side, my son said he will go to the hospital tomorrow after he puts new speakers in his car!! That boy is going to drive me nuts! Tonight I pray that he is okay until he gets there and that he has a major breakthrough while he is there and goes to a ED treatment center.

I hope you are having a great week!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWKATHYNOW 12/5/2013 11:05PM

    I can't believe this! My Dad just had the same type of thing on a much smaller scale. His dishwasher broke and shot water all over the kitchen. We were mopping up lots of water. So today I took him dishwasher shopping!
You had a huge disaster! It's unfortunate that it happened from their negligence but thank God they have insurance!
Hope it all works out soon. You know I still have you and yours in my prayers! emoticon

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KAREN_NY 12/4/2013 3:46PM

    Wow... that's a "Monday" if ever I heard one!! Look at you though... handling it. You've become a master coper. :)

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EDENZMOM 12/3/2013 10:25AM

    What a crazy way to start the week, especially after a long weekend. I hope the rest of your week is much calmer, without surprises.
Did the speakers get installed? did your son honour his promise?
I hope all is well, and wishing you a better day today.
xo

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KIWIANN 12/3/2013 10:10AM

    WOW!!! That is certainly a rude awaking for a Monday after Thanksgiving break!! Your school community - parents, teachers and children are blessed to have you! I hope that today is a more peaceful day for you and that the repairs are completed both quickly and well. And hopefully your son will follow through with his promise to go to the doctor today. Praying for that breakthrough he so desperately needs, and for your peace of mind. emoticon

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MLH148 12/3/2013 7:16AM

    You made me smile this AM ( and I needed it). How often is a story titled "blown gasket" about a real blown gasket? Think of all the great NEAT minutes you got!
Seriously, you went way above and beyond and your parents are truly lucky to have you.
Hope everything is on the way to better, including the boy.

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STRIVERONE 12/3/2013 12:03AM

    I'm glad to hear that your son is seeing a glimmer of light. You paint a dire picture of his situation.

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WONDERGALE 12/2/2013 11:38PM

    Oh Wow! I hope they get it cleaned up quick!

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SHARON10002 12/2/2013 11:28PM

    Oh my gosh! I guess the "silver lining" in all of this is that the plumbing company will have to pay to repair it as a result of their mistake. You deserve an award! emoticon You could have completed our whole trip with your efforts today! emoticon Hope that made you smile - just a little. . . emoticon



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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 12/2/2013 10:59PM

    Water is relentless!
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GRANDMABABA 12/2/2013 10:25PM

    I pray t,he rest of this week will be much better for you!

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SUGAR0814 12/2/2013 10:10PM

    O wow! What a way to start your day! I'm exhausted from reading. I can imagine all the water, the moving of furniture, & cleaning involved! You get a gold star today! Great job! emoticon

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Update on My Son...

Friday, November 29, 2013

I know many of you have been praying for my son.

Tuesday's blood work didn't come back good. His creatinine level was at 6. This is a sign of major kidney problems. My son used to panic when it hit 3, now he thinks the lab messed up. So, he went back for a retest this morning - yes, he procrastinated! He is ignoring the Dr's request to go to the hospital. The Dr told my husband if his lab work comes back the same today he is going to demand admittance.

He is not speaking to my husband because my husband told him he needs to go in to treatment and we will not be helping with his car insurance bill next month unless he is in treatment for his eating disorder. My two sons are now not speaking over an Xbox purchase -- and his brother's patience is worn out!

I took him out to lunch and mentioned a medication he could take for his OCD which is the root of his problems. His response "I told you not to talk about it". Mine "too bad, you need to know what will help".

He changed the subject. I just keep throwing things in here and there!

On the up side, he ate half a large Philly Cheesesteak and lot of fries. It's the most I have seen him eat in a long time.

So, we are still on limbo!

Thanks again for your concern, prayers and support!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN_NY 12/4/2013 3:44PM

    Thinking of you and praying for your health and his.

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WONDERGALE 12/2/2013 11:46PM

    Kidney problems are nothing to play with. The doctors kept calling my brother in law to come in because his tests showed he needed treatment for his kidneys. He ignored the doctors. He went to the hospital one night for a totally unrelated problem and almost died. His kidneys failed him and he went into a coma. He's alright now, but will be on dialysis for the rest of his life. Ask your son how he feels about dialysis? Praying for you and your family.

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KAYWEB555 12/2/2013 8:50AM

    Knowing what is best for you doesn't always mean that we can see it. Just like those of us that need and know that we need to lose weight for a healthy body, we continue to feed our inner child.
My prayers continue to come your way, hoping that once he gets the blood report and it is still to high he will consent to being admitted for help. May God walk with you during this difficult time .

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SPAMUNDY 11/30/2013 9:28AM

    I'm glad you got him to eat, it'll keep him going for a little while. He will be in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon

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MWWENSIN 11/30/2013 8:34AM

    This is a problem that has been going on for a long time so it's not going to go away soon. I'm glad he has previously shown some signs of improvement. I'll keep praying for you and your family.

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OVERWORKEDJANET 11/30/2013 6:23AM

    Tough spot to be in. Good luck. I know it hurts.

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LIZALOT 11/30/2013 6:02AM

    hugs from here. you are doing all you can, and i so hope he realises this and accepts he needs treatment.



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CASTIRONLADY 11/29/2013 9:10PM

    I am praying for all your family healing and comfort.

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REBBLTX 11/29/2013 8:25PM

    Here is a link for resources here on sparkpeople:

http://www.spar
kpeople.com/resource/health_a-z
_detail.asp?AZ=32

I hope you'll be able to find some help there :)

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FIT4MEIN2013 11/29/2013 7:54PM

    Prayer said!

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CHUBBY_MOM 11/29/2013 7:15PM

    Thinking of you and your family! emoticon

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SHERYLP461 11/29/2013 5:30PM

    I hope he comes to a realization before much longer.

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TERI-RIFIC 11/29/2013 4:19PM

    You have my continued prayers.One of the best quotes I've ever read on parenthood is: "Once you become a parent your heart goes walking around outside your body for the rest of your life." Hang in there and I'm glad there was some good news that your son did eat. emoticon

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KRISZTA11 11/29/2013 4:11PM

    emoticon

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CYCLINGSANDY 11/29/2013 3:28PM

    High creative levels showed my hubby's kidney failure before they completely shut down. It is sad to know he does not have to be sick. I am praying he gets admitted to get some help.
May God give you peace and wisdom in the midst of this storm.

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MBTEPP 11/29/2013 3:22PM

    Keep hangin' in there. Use whatever leverage you can to get him motivated in the right direction. Something will click, and when it does, you will be there to support him 100%. My prayers are with you. Stay strong.

emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 11/29/2013 2:57PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PEZMOM1 11/29/2013 2:32PM

    Praying for your son and the rest of the family.

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FIRECOM 11/29/2013 2:27PM

    I am in a terminal cancer condition right now so I think I understand some of the frustration he is going through.

My prayers are coming his way. Hang in there Mom.

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Another Week In Review...

Monday, November 25, 2013

I did great last week with my food and portion control. I made a couple new spark cookbook recipes. I brought samples into work. I didn't do as good with fitness minutes which is why I lost 1 pound.

I have been going through boxes I never unPacked since I moved three years ago. I am giving stuff away like crazy. I did find a tennis bracelet and two diamond rings I had hidden.

My bathroom and guest bathroom drawers are now all lined and organized. I found a $100 gift certificate to brookstone and ordered a mini fridge for my bathroom coffee bar (I have a coffee bar in my bathroom - yeah, I am spoiled!)

I finished going through my closet and have three big bags ready for good will.
I took tons of stuff to work for whoever wants it - most is gone.

I find cleaning very de-stressing. It's such a great feeling to me.
My son's bloodwork is up a little bit and he is going to the Dr every week. My doctor is still pushing my son to go to an ED treatment center. I pray he will decide to go.

Thank you very much for your prayers and support. It means the world to me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CKTALL 11/29/2013 3:15PM

    Stay the course with your son

He will thank you in the end

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SABLENESS 11/27/2013 7:59PM

    Add bookshelves and you'd have my ideal bathroom! Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.

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CYCLINGSANDY 11/27/2013 5:00PM

    Glad you gave this update on your son. He has been on my mind several times at random times of my days. I am still praying God changes his motivation to go to that ED center.

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SUNSHINE20113 11/27/2013 3:07PM

    It sounds like you are finding some amazing things!

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NEWKATHYNOW 11/26/2013 11:24PM

    Such a relief to hear you had a better week. I'm still cleaning out things too. It makes me feel so much better. I understand it is supposed to help ease depression as well. Have a great Thanksgiving and enjoy yourself!

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MWWENSIN 11/26/2013 5:25PM

    Glad to hear your week went well.

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SPARKLED146 11/26/2013 4:30PM

    It's inspiring to read about your cleaning! I must do the same!

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MBTEPP 11/26/2013 11:41AM

    Baby steps. Your son is making progress. Your clensing your soul and doing a darn good job. Keep the faith. Ive been there.

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KIMPY225 11/26/2013 11:39AM

    That is great you did some unpacking! Hopefully it did help you de-stress a little bit!

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IFDEEVARUNS2 11/26/2013 7:55AM

    You are a declutter demon! I should take lessons.
Glad to hear your son is relatively stable. emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 11/25/2013 11:38PM

    emoticon

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COFFEELS 11/25/2013 11:23PM

    It pays to clean! emoticon Hope you have a good week.

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KALISWALKER 11/25/2013 10:27PM

    LOL so we are both trying new recipes and unpacking treasures. Takes time and commitment to get it done.

Hope the blood work is good!

Have another good week.

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