ROXYZMOM   85,177
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Ugh! What happened to ez Fridays??

Friday, June 07, 2013

Ugh!! What a week!

My son started the week with a stomach bug so is back to 121 lbs! I saw an employee mishandle a child so had to at that point gladly fire her, report her to child abuse, tell and cry with the parent ( the child was not hurt or upset but it was still disturbing), meet with the police and continue to cry for the child at home!

I want to retire and move far away with my husband who I have hardly seen I. 3 whole months!

On the up side, I am back on track with food! I am on day two thanks to KarenNY! I am getting my self back on track even while I feel lIke I am an arcade game - I am the target and all sorts of ammunition are hitting me. I am literally feeling like "what is possibly next going to go wrong"?

On the flip side I thank God I found out about this emplayee. She started while I was in California. I was supposed to have a new washer and dryer delivered and the truck broke down. I got to work at 11. I saw the teacher mishandle the child at 11:30. - so glad I saw it!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SABLENESS 6/26/2013 10:39AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Hope things have settled down a little by now.

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KAREN_NY 6/14/2013 2:44PM

    Hey darlin' -- I'm so sorry I didn't see your blog until today! I've been trying to check in, but the last week has been crazy (as we shared in the status feed). Keep taking care of you! :)

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HAKAPES 6/14/2013 3:50AM

    emoticon

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MAMMER3 6/11/2013 8:48PM

    Your an amazing person, love following your journey ups and downs. Just so you know no matter how hard you are making the right choices. Glad your back on track and feeling better. That woman should be punished and the kids are lucky you are behind them!!


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FUSIONFITNESS3 6/9/2013 2:07AM

    Thankful you dealt with the abusive employee in such a timely fashion. Not something we want to be involved in but sounds like you spared this child from what could have become a bad situation.

Sorry that you son is having another rough challenge.

I can well imagine you want to escape but glad that you are taking back some control by getting your eating under control. Hope you're still finding time for your runs again. Take care of yourself by making time for yourself to stay healthy.

Maria

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MJREIMERS 6/8/2013 8:39PM

    Rough day I'd say! However, you did the right thing for the child and parents. You are also doing the right thing for yourself in regards to your eating! Hang in there...it will get better!

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OWL_20 6/8/2013 6:25AM

    Glad you happened to be there, too! emoticon

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KRISZTA11 6/8/2013 6:06AM

    emoticon

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IMREITE 6/8/2013 1:33AM

    It is never fun dealing with unpleasant situations, but at least you were able to handle it before it got worse and someone got hurt.

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BEWELL48 6/7/2013 11:34PM

    Work is hard these days in almost all arenas! I am 'putting out fires all the time '. It is sooooo hard,! I am taking tomorrow off after working 11 days straight! My brain & body need a rest! Hope you can rest also!

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ROCKYCPA 6/7/2013 11:10PM

    Glad you caught the woman in action and took quick action.

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OPTIMIST1948 6/7/2013 9:23PM

    At least you did see and took quick action.

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Home, Roxy And Unsolicited Advice...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Roxy and I took the red eye from San Diego to Philly last night/this morning. One of my managers went into the hospital with chest pain yesterday. She has heart issues - she is only 47!

Anyway, Roxy got tons of compliments at the airport. She is a very calm, well mannered dog. Several observers commented on her calmness. I told them she is exercised everyday. That is key. She is also well trained and knows I am the boss. I read Cesar Milan's book and watched his shows all the time when Roxy was young. I also went to one of his seminars. I implemented what I learned. Because of that, I enjoy taking her almost everywhere with me and am so proud of her.

So, it has been a very, very long day. I got a lot done at work and planned on spending the evening with my husband. That was foiled when the fire alarm went off at our business. So my husband is still there at 10 PM while whatever is broken gets fixed.

In the mean time, my mom called me to discuss their house hunting. My parents sold their house in Rehoboth a lot sooner than they thought they would and have no place up North to live. They stayed at my house last night with my husband. My dad proceeds to get on the phone and tell me he went through my pantry looking for coffee and inventoried the food in my pantry! He said 90% of the food is unhealthy and he would be fat of he lived here. Now, the ironic part is that he is VERY overweight! So, because of my 109 lb mom, his pantry is loaded with all fat free, etc stuff - but something is amiss if he is the heaviest by far out of all of us! Obviously, I didn't say that to him but it is true! He blamed my pantry on my son's bulemia and anorexia
and my son hasn't lived at home in 1 1/2 years! And I have been gone for 3 weeks and didn't even know what was in there!! I told him my husband can buy and eat what he wants in his own home. He said my husband will need to put a lock on his food if my son lives here! My dad doesn't understand that my son needs oil and regular foods - not fat free. Obviously, my husband is now furious and said my parents don't need to stay at our house. I am ticked too. We are both 50 years old - not 2!

Of course I went into the pantry to see what he is talking about. We have healthy cereals, oatmeals, protein powder, poptarts, teas, progressive soups, tons of tuns and salmon, fruit, nuts, pastas, beans, and dog food. 1 shelf has cake and brownie and baking stuff if I have company and one shelf has crackers, pretzels, chocolate covered pretzels, Doritos, popcorn and fig newtons. The nutritionist would be fine with my son eating the things in my pantry except the popcorn.

I am so annoyed right now I could scream!

Anyone else have a family member like that??

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KICKINGKILOS 6/2/2013 9:35AM

    Iam glad Roxy is huge hit :)
My dad has tooo been behaving awkwardly specially since the last couple of months. I feel worried and guilty--guilty as I have limited my talks with him. I miss the times I could talk to him easily!
I feel ya.

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KIMPY225 5/31/2013 3:57PM

    yay Philly - I live right by the city!

People always blame something or someone whenever they can - sorry about that!

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INFLATED 5/31/2013 2:38AM

    For me, it was my Mom and how I did my housekeeping. My sister is much better at keeping a clean house, but when Mom would come to visit, I would call my sister and tell her to get ready for a white glove inspection. Both of us would change the sheets on all of our beds, but when Mom arrived, she would pull the sheets off the beds and wash them and remake the beds.

I realized it was her and not me and let her work, lol.

Your Dad may be acting out because he has no control over the situation. When one of us got hurt, my Dad would just cuss and swear. He was angry because one of us was hurt and it was beyond his control. It scared me worse hearing him swear, than the actual injury did.

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KAREN_NY 5/30/2013 3:09PM

    I've watched my ex make observations to his grown daughters (my stepdaughters) about their pantries, homes, child-rearing habits, etc. Similar to the way his mother tried to do, I might add. I've decided that they do it as a way of inserting themselves into their lives, because they don't know how else to do it, especially when they don't see them often.
Their "contributions" get edgy because they are anxious about it in the first place. The irony is that it's all very alienating. When his mother died, the family gathered around to profess their love and mourning, but it was a love bourn out of duty, not affection. They all bonded over stories of what a pain she was. That's sad, because her former loving nature was lost to their memories. :(

Contrast this with my mom, who just likes to complain, and is more comfortable with others' failures than with their successes. sigh.

Bottom line - you know your pantry is fine, you know your son's (and dog's!) needs, and I hope you will find a way to let this be his problem, not yours.

How's that for more unsolicited advice? ;)

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CHERRY666 5/30/2013 12:05PM

    "He blamed my pantry on my son's bulemia and anorexia and my son hasn't lived at home in 1 1/2 years!"

That would make me SO angry! I can see why you feel like you could scream. He's sounds ignorant. (Why is it the people who are ignorant always seem to be the loudest and most insistent?) I agree with what another poster said about it sounding like he's grasping for straws -- looking for a simple answer to something he doesn't understand. Hopefully they find a new home soon!

*hug*

Edited to add: You know, my dad can be the same way (commenting on food like that), and funnily enough he's the heaviest out of all of us, too.


Comment edited on: 5/30/2013 12:06:30 PM

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IFDEEVARUNS2 5/30/2013 9:27AM

    I suspect most of us have a family member like that!
So glad you got compliments on Roxy - well earned, for sure.

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MAMMER3 5/30/2013 8:23AM

    I know how you feel, I am over 30 a married woman with 2 children and when I tell my mother I am going out with my friends she says and I quote. "Have fun dear just don't eat anything".

They will never change I realized its how you react to them and how you feel afterwards that you can control. Your pantry sounds amazing your son will thrive if he lives with you again and just let it roll off of you!!

Rock on!

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KRISZTA11 5/30/2013 8:01AM

    Oh dear, this is right what you didn't need to hear right now. I wish they would be more understanding and supportive!
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By the way, your pantry sounds just fine : )

My mom used to give similar "advice" when my daughter had eating problems ( I mean totally non-constructive, blame-placing and hurtful remarks that made no sense whatsoever + detailed inventory of how worried and stressed SHE was). Huh.
I was sorry to hurt her because she meant well, but I just couldn't take it, on top of the problems. So I told her that this is my daughter's problem in the first place (as an almost grown up herself) and my problem in the second place (as I'm living with her and facing the problem every day) and I don't want her "advice" and don't want to hear about her feelings. I kept saying this and finally the message went through.

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SCAREWALDORF 5/30/2013 4:34AM

    I think we all have family members like that. Your dad PROBABLY means well, but hasn't thought about the effect his words would have on you. I hope they find somewhere to live soon.



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IMREITE 5/30/2013 1:15AM

    my inlawas have allergies and digestive issues so i dont comment on food in their house. when we get ther i pack my own heallthy snacks. and i focus on eating slowly and enjoying what i eat instead of stressing about it.

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NEWKATHYNOW 5/29/2013 11:53PM

    Yep and I am certain they are allotted one per family! My late husband's daughter who is now in her early 30s is a wonderful, strong personality who is also very opinionated. As I told him once after a very disturbing conversation with her years ago on the phone - "I am the adult here and in charge of my own life." In her case she is a control freak.
Your Dad sounds like he's reaching for straws. He's looking for an easy answer to something that he apparently doesn't understand. For your sake I hope they find a house immediately! Real estate is definitely picking up in our area. One of my friends put their farm on the market and sold it the very next morning! I still can't believe that!
Hang in there and I'll keep you in my prayers! emoticon

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Focusing On ME...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Today I woke up re-newed thanks in large part to my Sparkbuddies!

We got up and went to our favorite breakfast spot where I got steelcut oatmeal with walnuts and banana. I was filled at half (it was a big bowl). My son ate his usual egg whites, english, muffin and one chicken sausage. He did use a little strawberry jam today, ate the peppers out of the potatoes!

Anyway, we then went to the hospital for his ultrasound of his heart - he has a long qt. It's either genetic (his 2nd cousin has it really bad), or from his anorexia.

His next appointment wasn't until 12 (neurotherapy, lunch then nutritionist) so I planned on staying at the apartment and running. He asked me to go with him at 11:15.

Last week I would have went and skipped the running, thinking maybe I would squeeze it in later -yeah, right! Well, this chick is done with excuses - I threw on my running gear and headed out the door. I got an awesome 3 mile run in, along with a shower, convo with my hubby and walk with the dog,

Another thing I changed up is the car ride. My son likes listening to rap which I call crap! While running and enjoying my positively awesome upbeat music it occurred to me I could listen to it in the car and waiting rooms with me earphones! What a difference it is making for me today!
Yayyy!,

Thanks guys!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMMER3 5/28/2013 8:51PM

    You are there for your son all the time, you can be there for yourself now also! Enjoy the runs, enjoy the music it doesn't take much to improve your mood and outlook. And remember you always have us if you need support, or even just a turn down the crap and turn up the good vibrations :)

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FRANCESCANAZ 5/28/2013 7:57PM

    Keep doing for you mi amiga. You need to bless yourself to be a blessing to others. emoticon

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OPTIMIST1948 5/27/2013 7:08AM

    I get by with a little help from my friends. Sounds like you got some good advice today!

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INFLATED 5/25/2013 9:35PM

    You did very well and it is funny how things like listening to your music while waiting come to us. My son said I was stressed. My feet hurt all day which made my hips hurt. I was wearing penny loafers and really have to have a shoe with a good arch-support. These are K-Mart $9.99 loafers.

Hubby almost fell over today. He was going to the bathroom from the bed and when he went to go around the corner of the bed, he went sideways. He was able to put the knee of bad leg up on the bed and stop his fall. This is so scary for me.

They gave me no instructions on how to bathe him, he is not allowed to shower and I couldn't get him in and out of the tub. I will look up sponge bathing tonight and make a list of what I need. No church tomorrow. I have to ice his foot every 20 minutes if he is not in bed, tomorrow is the last day for that. If I need to go anywhere, I give him a pill and put him in the bed and he sleeps while I am gone. My son took me grocery shopping today and we plan to have a cookout Memorial Day. Hubby won't be going outside due to being unstable on his crutches.

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NEWKATHYNOW 5/23/2013 10:07PM

    I just got caught up on all your blogs. Boy, you have really been through it! You are strong and have your head in the game. This turning point may be the key to handling everything. You remain in my prayers! Stay strong! God bless.

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CAROLCRC 5/23/2013 8:26AM

    Glad you are feeling more upbeat!

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FITFOODIE806 5/23/2013 7:42AM

    So good to hear!

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FRENCHTOSD 5/23/2013 5:38AM

    So glad to read this. I hope we can meet tomorrow but if not - your new photo is rocking!

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BOILHAM 5/22/2013 8:22PM

    I'm so glad you had a better day today. Stay the course.
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KAREN_NY 5/22/2013 5:15PM

    Excellent!!

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 5/22/2013 3:52PM

    emoticon

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2BEHEALTHY2014 5/22/2013 3:51PM

    Good for you!

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SCAREWALDORF 5/22/2013 3:44PM

    Glad to hear you're feeling more in control of everything. xoxo

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KRISZTA11 5/22/2013 3:43PM

    These are very positive changes!
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Reflection At 50...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

My 50th birthday was not what I had ever planned it to be.

I find myself the furthest point across the country from my home, husband, youngest son, friends and a job that I love. I miss "my life" but am here to try to save my older son's life from anorexia.
So, my life is literally shoved to the side. There is never a thank you or hint of gratitude - it is a thankless job. Most of the time he is mad at me for nagging him about food. Some days it looks like we are going to win the battle, the next day (or hour) we are losing the battle.

One good thing about birthdays is that it gives you a moment to reflect on where you have been and where you are going. It is not always the most positive reflection, especially if done honestly. But, most of the time it reminds you of who you are and that driving spirit within you that never gives up.

In my case, it was a year of conquering my first Half Marathon plus two more! I completed seven 5ks as well! And, my business held strong through another year of a seemingly endless recession. I maintained the weight I had lost for most of the year...

With all of my son's health issues the past 3 1/2 months I lost myself. I don't like the person I have become. I am sad most of the time and walk on egg shells. I am scared he is going to die and I miss my husband and my life. I am angry at my son for continuing to kill his body. My husband and I have supported him in every way possible through hospitals, therapists, nutritionists, covering bills, taking care of his house, and being with him all the time.

But this week as I reflect on the past year I realized I am pretty much at the end of trying. My son ate real good for 1 1/2 weeks and gained 8 pounds. Now he is restricting food again and losing weight. There is no excuse at this point. He still wants to move out to California. I told him I am not co-signing any lease until I am comfortable he has beat anorexia. This week I am seriously considering packing up, returning the rental car and heading home.

Yesterday as I walked Roxy I thought about my running career. We eat out at restaurants all the time, so naturally, I gained weight. With his appointments, I haven't run every day. Some days I don't run because I am just too sad. Last night, I considered stopping running all together. I am 50 years old - maybe I should give up. I was really feeling defeated, and, yes, sorry for myself.

But, as I walked, I realized I was doing what my son was doing - blaming someone else and not taking responsibility for myself. He is not eating more because I am, so, why am I? And, why am I not standing up for myself? Maybe if I do, he will. There is an anger building inside me that I realized I can use to pull me out of this rut. And I knew I couldn't use my age as an excuse! I have Sparkfriends older than me running everyday - and farther!

So, today after an early breakfast where my son, once again didn't talk to me, I laced my new, hot purple (with bright neon laces), Brooks Ravenna 4s and headed out for the 5 mile run I planned to do on my 50th birthday. I listened to my positive music and paid attention to my body, my breathing and how good it felt.

Today is a new day, this is a brand new year for me. I am going to take back control of myself and create a new plan, just for me. I will not quit. No more excuses, I can do this!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATCHMEGO! 5/28/2013 5:52AM

    I love your attitude, especially the part about using the anger to propel you forward. We can't control anyone's behavior except our own.

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Oh, and emoticon !

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KAREN_NY 5/22/2013 5:13PM

    My dear Sparkfriend, I hope this gets 1001 likes! Your honesty is compelling, and I keep you & your family in my prayers. Run on, girl!

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FUSIONFITNESS3 5/22/2013 4:38PM

    I don't think any of us anticipate celebrating milestone birthdays while dealing with some of life's most difficult struggles. It is so difficult to watch our loved ones self destruct when we so badly want what's better for them. So sorry to hear that your son appears to be regressing after some significant gains. Continuing to pray for you all.

I am so thankful that despite the difficult situation you have been able to reflect and discover the need to take care of you too. Finding yourself in the midst of this hurt and pain isn't easy but I know you are a determined woman and can find the strength to move forward despite the choices your son is making.

Here's to your 5 km run in celebration of your 50th. Belated birthday greetings!

Maria

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FRANCESCANAZ 5/22/2013 11:00AM

    I wish I was there right now to give you a big "mama" hug! God bless you amiga. I feel your pain and helplessness. No one ever told us that being a mom could be so full of sorrow and defeat. I commend you on all that you have done. I am in a similar situation and you are right, you have to take care of you first and foremost, so run amiga, run like you are twenty and don't ever stop! emoticon

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CAROLCRC 5/22/2013 8:11AM

    Those 'landmark' birthdays do make us stop and take stock of where we are an where we are going, don't they?

Remember that you are as valuable a person as your son is, and carve out the time to take care of yourself. Besides, you'll be setting a healthy example, and it will make you feel much better both physically and emotionally.

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OWL_20 5/22/2013 6:48AM

    Sorry to hear about your son and anorexia. You can be there for kids and guide them, but they have to live their own life--and it's so very hard to watch sometimes. The bright point is that you laced up those shoes and got out there. You can do this. A million emoticon .

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CHANGINGHORSES 5/22/2013 6:36AM

    Great Blog! I love your introspection and determination. I will also turn 50 this year and I can relate a lot.
I'm sorry that you are having these struggles and I hope that you continue to take care of yourself. It is very tough watching a loved one struggle when we know there is a way out. It is difficult and painful to let them go when we believe the struggle will continue and likely get worse. I hope that you all find the strength to make it through.
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KRISZTA11 5/22/2013 4:00AM

    Happy 50th Birthday!

It is so hard to support an adult who doesn't want to be helped.
It is hard enough with children too, but there at least you have the power to make decisions for them in their best interest.
Take good care of yourself in this difficult situation,
you need all the strength and positive energy in the world!
I'm glad you found joy in running on your 50th birthday, in your lovely new running shoes.

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DOUGDC 5/21/2013 11:08PM

    Great attitude to take into your birthday, and the second half of your first century.

Please remember that you are not responsible for your son's condition. You are his mother and have an interest, certainly. But, as you are doubtless aware, it is up to him to get better. Or not. Are you getting the help you need? A frighteningly difficult position for you. But you cannot help others if you are not taking care of yourself.

With warmest sympathy...

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GETSTRONGRRR 5/21/2013 9:02PM

    That's a tough thing to go through on any birthday.

you're doing the right thing....keep taking care of yourself while you try to take care of him.

Stay strong!

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FITFOODIE806 5/21/2013 7:34PM

    This makes me cry and cry. Good and sad tears. I am so sort for the horrible pain you've been through and continue to deal with. Yet I am so happy and inspired by your positive outlook. I can only hope to be so strong at 50. I hope this yer turns around and is full of bright moments and happy miles.

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BOILHAM 5/21/2013 6:56PM

    It is so difficult when our grown children are in trouble and we know the way out for them. Just because we know the solution does not mean they will listen. They are their own individual selves and it sure is hard to stop trying to help when they are so determined to hurt themselves.
I had to give up and let go once, so I kind of understand your situation.
Good luck. Keep taking care of yourself.
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INFLATED 5/21/2013 4:03PM

    Happy Birthday!!

I have found when it comes down to it, that we can only be responsible for ourselves. We can't fix others.

I think you and your husband have done a tremendous job of trying to help your son.

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SALTYCHOCOLATE 5/21/2013 3:25PM

    Will keep you and your son in my prayers. Anorexia is very difficult and many people don't realize that the disease isn't limited to girls and women. I'm so glad you went for a run, and so glad you are taking control of your life. Hugs and prayers for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KIMPY225 5/21/2013 3:00PM

    You are a magnificent person. I am glad you are doing something for you despite all you are giving to your son and to others. Keep moving forward!

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WANT2FEELPRETTY 5/21/2013 3:00PM

    Happy Birthday! He will appreciate everything when all is said and done. It's tough being a parent at times. emoticon

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ONMYMEDS 5/21/2013 2:50PM

    Good for YOU!!.

No matter what the relationship may be, sibling, spouse, child, there IS a limit to how much you can help when they aren't doing their part. Isn't that one of the biggest lessons we learn at Spark, to take control of our OWN lives?

I wish you well.

And Happy Birthday!! 50 is a great age to be (at least I think it is, it was so long ago and my memory isn't what it used to be).

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EDENZMOM 5/21/2013 2:42PM

    Beyond words.
I am so proud of you.
You are quite the strong woman, and a warrior.
Happy 50th birthday. You are an inspiration to many of us.
Sending endless hugs today :)
xoxo

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IFDEEVARUNS2 5/21/2013 2:41PM

    Wishing you a happy successful year! And keep running - I started at 60.
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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 5/21/2013 2:32PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DASHKATH 5/21/2013 2:29PM

  Not sure if you will find this useful but there is a blog I have been following called Burp 'n Slurp. The girl writing it does a weekly recap about her eating disorder days.

http://www.burpandslur
p.com/weekend-ed-series/
>May God bless you on your journey.

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USMAWIFE 5/21/2013 2:20PM

    emoticon emoticon What a hard place to be with your son. Saying prayers that he overcomes this eating disorder and your family can be whole again

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Running Keeps Me Sane...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I got a nice 3.7 mile run in this morning. I am trying to figure out how to schedule it in before it gets too hot.

My son needs to eat breakfast at 7:30. Breakfast is his biggest meal. He never ate breakfast before this - even when he was little it was such a struggle! Now it is his favorite meal, so we go out every morning to one of his three favorite restaurants. I bought food items to make breakfast here - he loves jalapeņos so I have those, eggs, feta cheese, and steak in the fridge - ready to cook. He still wants to go out instead! So I end up eating it for my lunch while he is at therapy!

Anyway, I get up at 6, take Roxy out for her walk, then get ready and am out the door at 7:30. I eat a light breakfast out with him, then run when we get back to the apartment. It's been real hot here (90's) since I came back, so if I don't get out then it doesn't happen. I am focusing on running every morning now so I should be ok. After I run I hop in the hot tub then the pool. It is a nice reward.

I am eating more so my son eats more. I am hitting close to 2000 cals per day ( I am used to 1200 - 1500). He eats more when I eat more, so I have to right now. I am going to up my miles. My mom (a runner) said when I get to ten miles it won't affect me. Right now I have a gut and it is uncomfortable.

Running is so good for my spirit. My son is moody. His therapist told me to stay on him about eating (he has to finish 100% of his plate, eat 3000 + cals, not drink any beer, etc). I pick my battles. He is eating a lot more and foods he didn't eat before (potatoes, gravy, butter - yes, all the things most of us need to avoid!). And restaurant portions are so huge. One thing I do point out is for him not to eat half of anything. We are taught to do that - anorexics do that as a habit and cardinal rule. I told him that's why he has to eat more than half so he does.

Anyway, quite frequently he says mean things - its not easy being the food police! I feel like i am walking on egg shells. I am told it's "normal" because he is malnourished and using his disease as power. This is what wears me down. I have put my entire life on hold, am away from my husband, home and friends and it is not appreciated. He was not raised this way and it should not be. It has my brother furious. There are lots of times where I want to say "screw it" and go home but when I am not here he drops a lot of weight - and fast. I can't wait until he is more even-keeled.

So that is why running is so important to me. Besides Roxy, it is the only thing I have out here, all the way across the country. I love to listen to my positive music as I run - it gives me a much deserved mental break.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWKATHYNOW 5/23/2013 9:56PM

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BOILHAM 5/17/2013 12:11PM

    You are such a good Mom! Yes, the running does help your well being immensely, so keep up the good work there too.
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HLTHYLIVN_BAM 5/16/2013 3:49PM

    While you are struggling, I find it inspirational that you are keeping strong for your son and reaching out to the community to support you. I'm happy to hear you have running and hope that it keeps you going. As many folks have said here, hopefully, your son will come out of this stronger too and recognize all that you have done for him.

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INFLATED 5/15/2013 5:17PM

    Frustration with yourself often comes out in anger. Your family is what is most important and you are taking care of things. I think you are doing a superb job.

I don't know what is happening with your work. I wouldn't lay any of that on your son.

Take care of yourself and run as you are able to. You don't have anything to prove to anyone. You have lost weight and know what to do. Right now, help you son if you can.

You are a wonderful mother! Hugs!

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IFDEEVARUNS2 5/15/2013 12:11PM

    You are doing awesome! emoticon

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KAREN_NY 5/15/2013 10:06AM

    I love & admire that through all of this you keep doing what works. You may not always feel like it, but you really are one tough cookie!
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Comment edited on: 5/15/2013 10:06:59 AM

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EDENZMOM 5/15/2013 9:41AM

    I appreciate you and everything that you're doing emoticon
You're a great mom, and I'm very hard on my own mother as well... but we do appreciate everything... even if we don't see it right away. Kids are as strong minded as the rest of us. He's tough because you're tough!
KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!

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PAMDAQTPI 5/15/2013 9:28AM

    That sounds so difficult.
I'm glad you have running, it's helped me through some stressful days.

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FITFOODIE806 5/15/2013 7:18AM

    I'm so so glad that you have running to help you through such a difficult time. I think he appreciates what you're doing,but just can't tell you that now. Someday he will understand what an in dibble mother you are.

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KRISZTA11 5/15/2013 6:47AM

    I'm glad running helps you tolerate this very difficult situation.
Managing you son's health is now a full time job for you, and it is so unfair that he doesn't appreciate it.
He can't appreciate your support now because he is struggling with his eating disorder, but once he will be healed he will know what you did for him.
Hugs, Kriszta


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STEVIEBEE569 5/15/2013 6:34AM

    Keep running Sista! I truly understand your title of your blog. Running helps me to keep some sort of control in my life, instead of snapping!

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ONEKIDSMOM 5/15/2013 6:25AM

    Sometimes running is the only thing that makes one feel that we're *doing* something, and we need to be *doing* something... it assuages the anxiety, and as you say... keeps us sane! Run and Spark on! emoticon

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MAGGIE101857 5/15/2013 6:20AM

    My heart goes out to you and your family; what a difficult position to be in. A Mom will go to any length to help our children and there will be many that will not understand or support you. Sending you hugs and keeping you in my prayers; keep running and taking care of yourself, as much as possible.

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OPTIMIST1948 5/15/2013 6:15AM

    Milk shakes? Smoothies made with full fat milk and an avocado and then loaded up with fruit? Plenty of good quality calories there and he can sip on a cup in between meals. I dont know anything, but I know its dark for you now, you are doing something positive with the stress (running) and your son needs you. God bless.

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SCAREWALDORF 5/15/2013 2:45AM

    If he puts on weight when you are around, then you are the biggest influence on him right now-kind of a compliment in a round about way. It is hard right now, but when he is better, he will see everything you have done for him.

Stay strong and keep running!
xoxo

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 5/15/2013 1:25AM

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