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Trying To Get It All Done...

Monday, April 08, 2013

I have been very busy! I only got two runs in last week. I did get into PT twice. I did get lots of walks in with Roxy and have been eating right. I had an eval Friday and my strength and flexibility measurements have improved considerably.

Friday I head back to California for two weeks. I am taking Roxy with me this time. My husband rented an apartment for us so we will be out of my brother's way. We are going to use aerobeds and a folding table and chairs to eat at. It's going to be quite primitive but it will work. The complex has a fitness center, pool and lots of activities. It is pet friendly so Roxy should be happy. My son still wants to live out there. This should give him the opportunity to start making friends. We rented it for three months so we will see what happens.

My son is getting neurotherapy 4 days per week. He sits in front of a computer screen for two hours per day with a one hour break in between. He presses a button whenever he sees a blue light while electrodes are attached to his head. Sounds pretty boring but he is doing it. He now has one week done - 9 to go. I pray that he doesn't give up. He also sees a therapist once per week. I asked my husband to change that to 3 times per week. He will also start seeing a nutritionist this week. I want to make sure he understands how important this all is to his body.

My husband will fly home next Monday so we can have the weekend together. We are planning to go to Temecula on a wine tasting tour. We talk and text throughout the day. I have crammed a month of work (home and business) into two weeks! I have been going nonstop. I spent Saturday pouring through all the medical bills and insurance claims. I wrote them all on a spread sheet and paid all that were through the whole insurance process. I am so thankful that I chose the lower deductible! My son's first hospital visit took care of it. Today I am working on stuff for our mortgage refinance. We started it right before we knew we would be going back and forth to California. Bad timing! When I get back to California I won't have much to do so I will have more time to run and work out. It's strange going from one extreme to the other.

I thank God that we have the means to be able to do all of this!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRENCHTOSD 4/13/2013 4:21PM

    Wow - this is crazy stuff going on with you. I can walk on the beach anytime or eat or whatever you want to do. I may not have a car. I hope we can both just walk and sit and vent. I can't wait...

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OPTIMIST1948 4/11/2013 5:23PM

    You'll. Like having yourown space more than being in your brothers hair.

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INFLATED 4/10/2013 4:16AM

    My secret to handling stress is to compartmentalize each task. I am doing spreadsheets of our receipts and check registers. The printer wouldn't print items I had typed in red, so I changed them all to green, and it worked. Hubby gets paid today, but right now money is tight and I don't want to have to run out to buy ink cartridges.

I admire you for all that you get done. You have a lot on your shoulders so schedule in some "me time." It is important for you to take care of yourself while you go through all of this.

The girlfriend sounds like a manipulator.

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EDENZMOM 4/9/2013 8:36AM

    You are indeed very fortunate!! Keep doing what youre doing! Glad Roxy will be with you for the next 2 weeks.

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NEWKATHYNOW 4/9/2013 12:59AM

    Sounds like things are really falling into place! Does Roxy travel well? Still have you all in my prayers! emoticon

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FRANCESCANAZ 4/8/2013 7:15PM

    Amen! By the way is roxy a dog and if so what kind? emoticon

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KAREN_NY 4/8/2013 4:31PM

    The apartment sounds like a great idea, and so does finding your blessings. A little running, a little Roxy, and yes, having the means to get the care you all need.
Safe travels -- literally and metaphorically!
K:)

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TRICIAE2 4/8/2013 1:53PM

    emoticon

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SCAREWALDORF 4/8/2013 11:53AM

    emoticon

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CHEMCHIC2006 4/8/2013 10:49AM

    Just keep on keeping on. One day this will all be in the past. emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 4/8/2013 10:19AM

    emoticon

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STRIVER57 4/8/2013 8:10AM

    sounds like progress continues. and yes, you are fortunate. and deserve it!


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MJRVIC2000 4/8/2013 8:09AM

    Make a difference for Jesus each day and give Him all the glory! God Bless YOU! Vic.

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Getting there, one day at a time....

Thursday, April 04, 2013

I managed to get to PT yesterday. I have three left - will be done next Thursday. I run almost everyday. I am on a training plan for the Delaware HM in mid May. My hips feel a lot looser when I run and my leg doesn't hurt anymore. My knee pinches a little. I definitely have improved. It is so good to be running again!!

My son really liked the therapist. He admitted to purging at the first session! He is going to do neurotherapy for the next ten weeks. He goes five days a week. My husband and I are going to take turns going out two weeks at a time. We will overlap so we see eachother. After a month, we will see how my son is doing - we may see how he does on his own for a week. He thinks he is ok to do it by himself now but we aren't comfortable with it. My brother is out there, but he is going through his own stuff with his divorce so we are not throwing this at him.

I am getting caught up and then moving ahead at work before I head back out to California next Friday. Today I get my hair done and am seeing a therapist in the afternoon to help me help my son and make sure I don't get PTSD from this nightmare! This weekend I am going to clean my house. It doesn't need much but I always find it destressing to clean and dusting hasn't been done in a three weeks.

I am also planning on getting outside and running 6.5 miles this weekend.

It's getting better every day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SABLENESS 4/7/2013 6:50PM

    You're doing the best you can in a really tough situation. Prayers continuing for you and your family; these things affect everybody. Give Roxy an extra petting from your Sparkfriends; she surely knows things are hard right now.

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NEWKATHYNOW 4/6/2013 8:48PM

    emoticon emoticon God bless!

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MAMMER3 4/5/2013 10:20AM

    It is getting better everyday and it will continue to. I am glad you are going to see someone for yourself you are there for everyone its good you are being there for yourself a bit. It will only make you stranger and in a better position for your family. Love reading your blog you and your family deserve nothing but the best!! emoticon

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LYNNWILK2 4/5/2013 3:51AM

    Sounds like your son is making progress. SO thankful he is in a place with a person he feels so comfortable with.
AND way to go you for taking such good care of yourself while you are going back and forth to be with your son... you are a courageous and wonderful woman! Bravo you.

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INFLATED 4/4/2013 9:33PM

    I really appreciate you sharing this with us. Our trials can bless someone else if we share how we coped with them. I think you are wise to go to a therapist yourself. Stuff like this wears you on the inside and people can't see that.

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FUSIONFITNESS3 4/4/2013 9:09PM

    Though I haven't been around too much the last couple of weeks I've been thinking about you and your son's health. Finally have some time to get caught up a bit. Sounds like you are aware and making wise choices about what to do to keep yourself healthy both physically and emotionally during such a difficult experience. I'm thankful that you have been led to a treatment center which is prooving to be effective for your son.
Giving thanks that Jesus is carrying you through these challenging days. May you continue to feel his daily presence giving you strength, peace and hope. Continuing to pray for you all.

Maria

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STRIVER57 4/4/2013 4:39PM

    that all sounds pretty promising... the direction is good, even if setbacks might occur. i wish i found cleaning destressing -- or is it something you taught yourself today?


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DAZZEEDOO 4/4/2013 1:59PM

    Glad to hear your son is doing better, and that You are taking preventative steps to help You stay strong.
emoticon

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KAREN_NY 4/4/2013 1:56PM

    Can I just say.... "EXCELLENT!!" ? !!!!!!! :)
Thank you for sharing the uplifting update.


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CHERRY666 4/4/2013 11:59AM

    You are one tough cookie! I hope you know that.

I'm glad your son likes his new therapist, and I hope the therapist you see is helpful.

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EDENZMOM 4/4/2013 10:47AM

    You're such a toughie. So strong, and still managing to care for yourself and the home.
Keep up the great mommy-work, and cuddle Roxy a bit more than usual :)

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 4/4/2013 9:51AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SCAREWALDORF 4/4/2013 8:06AM

    So glad to hear that your son has hit it off with the therapist and you are getting some sort of normal back. xoxo

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MYBULLDOGS 4/4/2013 8:05AM

    emoticon

i have not gained a pound in over a year.

i gave up sugar and grain products and lost 44 pounds at age 61.

my sister lost 105 pounds at age 63 by walking 15000 steps a day and has not gained a pound back either in over a year

emoticon

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JGRAY76 4/4/2013 8:02AM

    Sounds like you have a lot going on. Take care of yourself so you are strong enough to lend support to others

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Quick Update...

Monday, April 01, 2013

My husband flew in to San Diego Friday. We went sight seeing Saturday and Sunday. My son uses a template to make sure he was eating all the food groups for breakfast, lunch and dinner and two food groups for his three snacks. He is loving the nutrition side of it and is eating very well. This morning he actually ordered an egg white omelet with broccoli, feta cheese, spinach and onion with an English muffin and fresh fruit cup!

He still doesn't want to go to the 10 hr day treatment center for eating disorders. He wants to go to a therapist 1 on 1. We found a place that does neurotherapy. My husband is going to take my son to check it out tomorrow. (I came home to Maryland tonight).

My husband took my son to get blood work today to make sure his body chemistry was on track. He said my son now weighs 133 lbs!! He is up 29 lbs in a week and a half! My husband said my son kept eating good after he saw that weight. Yayyyy! My son is supposed to weigh 149 lbs. I told my husband it is his turn to keep it going in that direction.

I am welcoming this break. I have never gone through anything like that before and never want to again. Every one in the hospital kept remarking on how strong I was. But, I really wasn't. I had to put up a front to get him through it. Have you ever read Footprints In The Sand? Jesus was carrying me through. Wednesday I am going to meet with a Eating Disorder therapist for parents. I don't want to end up with PTSD or a breakdown.

Anyway, I have my Roxy back and I am going to enjoy this positive moment in time.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. It has helped my family tremendously.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETNHEALTHY45 4/5/2013 7:20AM

    I am so glad that things are looking up! You ARE strong!

emoticon emoticon

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INFLATED 4/4/2013 9:27PM

    I am so glad to read about your son's improvement and that you are back home where you can unwind for awhile. Yes, Jesus carries us and will until we go home to be with Him.

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GAILRUU 4/4/2013 9:38AM

    What good news! I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers.

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FRANCESCANAZ 4/2/2013 3:56PM

    Being able to put up a good front shows you are indeed a very strong woman. Praying for continued healing. emoticon

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NEWKATHYNOW 4/2/2013 3:54PM

    This is such great news! That's wonderful! I'm glad your son is doing so well and putting his weight back on. I'm sure Roxy was glad to see you too! emoticon

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FITFOODIE806 4/2/2013 1:33PM

    Continued thoughts and prayers.

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52WEEKSLAURA 4/2/2013 12:48PM

    Your family are in my prayers! I'm so happy to be reading this 'good news' from you. Roxie is your rock today enjoy 'your time'!

You are such an inspiration even in these moments you are lifted up! God's glory is really shining through you emoticon

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WANT2FEELPRETTY 4/2/2013 11:36AM

    So glad things are turning around.

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KAREN_NY 4/2/2013 10:52AM

    I love that besides being the mom your son needs, you are taking care of you too. That IS strength, darlin'. ((hugs))


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CHEMCHIC2006 4/2/2013 8:01AM

    emoticon So so glad things are looking up! You ARE strong, remember that. Good luck with your therapist.. I'm sure it will help you a great deal. Wishing you and your family all the best!

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PMRUNNER 4/2/2013 5:33AM

    hugs!

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STRIVER57 4/2/2013 2:08AM

    what Catherine said. i see this crisis burst into view when i was off spark feeling sorry for myself for my broken kneecap. during which time i translated a long article about anorexia ... I am so glad to hear that it is starting to go better ... and that you are home with Roxy for an interval of relative peace. hugs & luck.

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SHAMROCKY2K 4/2/2013 1:50AM

    Times like this you find out who you really are. Therapy for you is a smart idea. I know how tough the after affects from these tramas can be as a caregiver.
emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 4/2/2013 12:56AM

    I'm so glad to hear this news!

You are strong. Strong doesn't mean it is easy. It means you do it anyway.
emoticon

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A Step Backward...

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Yesterday did not end well. My brother and I went to pick my son up at 7 PM. My son flew out the door and said he wasn't going back. He said people in the group had serious issues. One girl was talking about killing herself, another talked about sexual abuse and another about drinking alcohol and taking sleeping pills.

He had his phone out on the way home to my brothers trying to book a flight back to Maryland. After 1/2 hour we got him calmed down enough to talk. We got him to agree to go to a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders - waiting for her call back now. He was originally supposed to go to her first. We are hoping she can get him to go back.

The place he was at didn't warn me ahead of time. I called his main therapist there (he only saw for the first time yesterday). She said she didn't know. She said some people shared things in group yesterday that normally weren't shared. My son said all the staff was nice but he didn't like group. He also said he was bored. He brought home a workbook. I am going to see if I can start getting him to do it. I have to wonder if his feelings about gaining weight fall into this decision. I am not sure because we went out to eat after all this happened and he had two rolls with butter, mussels, cheese and fruit.

So, needless to say, I am back to very little sleep. I feel sick to my stomach and my nerves are on high alert again.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN_NY 3/30/2013 8:50PM

    Just catching up, and hoping that the last couple of days have been better. I'm sure he doesn't want to identify with people whom he thinks have bigger problems, and the stress of his changing body makes that kind of thing even harder. Praying for you,
K:)

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DETERMINED_SOUL 3/30/2013 2:26PM

    emoticon Hang in there. I am sure it is tough, I am seeing this very similar to my journey. When I started my weight loss journey, here on Sparks, people were talking about some of the feelings they were having. It was scary, not necessarily that I was having the same feelings and it was time for me to face them, but sometimes it was "I do not want to face my issues because I do not want to start getting those feelings". It is tough when we start on any new journey in our life where we have to face our own issues and begin to deal with them. It can definitely be overwhelming for the person having them and the people around who are looking on with love and wanting to help, but unsure how to. I think your plans are going in the right direction and you are doing the best you can. You are a great mother who is supportive and loves her son very much. Things will start to get better, I can see it.:)

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SCAREWALDORF 3/30/2013 7:05AM

    I agree with a lot of the other posters. Your son needs to understand that he almost died, so even though he may feel other peoples issues are greater than his, he actually is in the same position as them. He needs to be in group to understand his whys!

By the by, I think you're doing an amazing job, and I wish you had been my mother when I "clicked". Hold on. xoxo

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FITFORMYFAMILY 3/29/2013 9:59PM

    I'm so sorry for the sad news. :( I really hope the specialized psychiatrist can be more helpful!

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SABLENESS 3/28/2013 4:43PM

    He was nearly at death's door and doesn't have deep issues, too? It's very painful to face reality sometimes. You're doing what you can. Sorry he got off to a bad start with the group. Prayers for you and family in this on-going journey. There are bound to be some rough places. emoticon

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CHEMCHIC2006 3/28/2013 4:00PM

    I'm so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately.. I think he doesn't realize how serious his own issues are. Life or death kind of situation.. he needs to be there as much as the others. Stay strong! He needs you! emoticon

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INFLATED 3/28/2013 1:40PM

    You should tell your son that often times the way we ate relates to deeper issues and we have to dig them out and deal with them before we stop repeating the problems with the way we eat.

I am sure he didn't want to hear what doesn't relate to him. In a sense though, isn't that what Spark People is about, we learn to deal with the whys of why we are overweight?

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KICKINGKILOS 3/28/2013 10:20AM

    :( Iam so sorry to read about this! emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/28/2013 9:46AM

    I am so sorry.
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Still Rolling...

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

My son got out of the hospital yesterday and started intensive day treatment for his eating disorder today. I drop him off at 9 and pick him up at 7. He eats all meals and two snacks there. He eats his 9 pm snack with us. He has weekends off and also this Good Friday.

It is the first day I have had by myself in about one month! It feels very strange and as irritable as he has been, I miss him. After I dropped him off, I took care of work stuff over the phone and then went to Marshall's. I didn't bring many clothes to San Diego and the sweaters are too hot. I bought some shirts, a dress for Easter, a couple skirts and a jacket. I am a size 6 so somehow I am maintaining my weight. I do need to do some crunches, but I am not feeling it. I just like to run. I picked my son up a laundry basket and some bathroom supplies. Last night we went to Costco. He picked out good foods, some he would not have eaten before.

I have told him more than once how proud I am of his efforts. He went from 106 to 124 lbs in 5 days. It was all fluids - that is how dehydrated he was! Now he has to gain fat and muscle - that is going to be the tough part. At 124 he thinks he has a belly! He also keeps trying to measure himself. He puts his hands on his sides and touches his fingers together in front of his belly button. My brother figured it out. I have seen him do it twice and asked him what he is doing. The therapist said it is common.

He is going to get lots of attention while in treatment. My brother and I are going to a caregiver support meeting tomorrow night. My husband will go next week when we trade off. He is coming Friday night - we are going to do fun stuff with our son this weekend - thank God!

I set up am appointment with a therapist who works with parents of kids with eating disorders next Wednesday at home. I don't want to end up with any issues of what I had to go through the past month later.

Thanks again for you continued support and prayers. I really appreciate all of you!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN_NY 3/30/2013 8:48PM

    Agreeing with Scarewaldorf... the caregiving support is important and more helpful that you'll realize. Breathe when you can.

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FRANCESCANAZ 3/29/2013 7:35AM

    emoticon

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INFLATED 3/28/2013 1:35PM

    I wouldn't know where to start if it was one of my kids. May God guide you through all of this and may you know that He will sustain you through it all.

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NEWKATHYNOW 3/28/2013 8:48AM

    emoticon and prayers. I hope you have a blessed Easter.

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FITFOODIE806 3/28/2013 8:37AM

    Great news. You are so smart to be open and talk about this.

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SCAREWALDORF 3/28/2013 4:25AM

    Caregiving meetings are very important, make sure you go. You need as much support as he does. xoxo

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/27/2013 7:35PM

    emoticon

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