Yesterday did not end well. My brother and I went to pick my son up at 7 PM. My son flew out the door and said he wasn't going back. He said people in the group had serious issues. One girl was talking about killing herself, another talked about sexual abuse and another about drinking alcohol and taking sleeping pills.
He had his phone out on the way home to my brothers trying to book a flight back to Maryland. After 1/2 hour we got him calmed down enough to talk. We got him to agree to go to a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders - waiting for her call back now. He was originally supposed to go to her first. We are hoping she can get him to go back.
The place he was at didn't warn me ahead of time. I called his main therapist there (he only saw for the first time yesterday). She said she didn't know. She said some people shared things in group yesterday that normally weren't shared. My son said all the staff was nice but he didn't like group. He also said he was bored. He brought home a workbook. I am going to see if I can start getting him to do it. I have to wonder if his feelings about gaining weight fall into this decision. I am not sure because we went out to eat after all this happened and he had two rolls with butter, mussels, cheese and fruit.
So, needless to say, I am back to very little sleep. I feel sick to my stomach and my nerves are on high alert again.
My son got out of the hospital yesterday and started intensive day treatment for his eating disorder today. I drop him off at 9 and pick him up at 7. He eats all meals and two snacks there. He eats his 9 pm snack with us. He has weekends off and also this Good Friday.
It is the first day I have had by myself in about one month! It feels very strange and as irritable as he has been, I miss him. After I dropped him off, I took care of work stuff over the phone and then went to Marshall's. I didn't bring many clothes to San Diego and the sweaters are too hot. I bought some shirts, a dress for Easter, a couple skirts and a jacket. I am a size 6 so somehow I am maintaining my weight. I do need to do some crunches, but I am not feeling it. I just like to run. I picked my son up a laundry basket and some bathroom supplies. Last night we went to Costco. He picked out good foods, some he would not have eaten before.
I have told him more than once how proud I am of his efforts. He went from 106 to 124 lbs in 5 days. It was all fluids - that is how dehydrated he was! Now he has to gain fat and muscle - that is going to be the tough part. At 124 he thinks he has a belly! He also keeps trying to measure himself. He puts his hands on his sides and touches his fingers together in front of his belly button. My brother figured it out. I have seen him do it twice and asked him what he is doing. The therapist said it is common.
He is going to get lots of attention while in treatment. My brother and I are going to a caregiver support meeting tomorrow night. My husband will go next week when we trade off. He is coming Friday night - we are going to do fun stuff with our son this weekend - thank God!
I set up am appointment with a therapist who works with parents of kids with eating disorders next Wednesday at home. I don't want to end up with any issues of what I had to go through the past month later.
Thanks again for you continued support and prayers. I really appreciate all of you!!!
Yesterday morning started with a 3 mile run up the California Coast. It was a great way to start the day. I then spent eleven hours straight at the hospital with my son. He is being very cooperative. I eat my meals when he eats his. He eats with the other patients with eating disorders. Hard to believe, but there are patients there way skinnier than him. He will stay there until he gets to 120 lbs and then he will switch to day treatment. He was 104 two days ago. He gets weighed every morning - they keep the number covered. They are counting all his calories and looking for that magic total so he gains (just like us with losing). I eat breakfast at my brothers; lunch and dinner at the hospital cafeteria. Yesterday I had a veggie burger and fruit cup for lunch, and salmon with potatoes and broccoli for dinner. It was pretty good.
I got a lot of walking in. The cafeteria is in another building and my son was allowed to walk 2 ten minute times yesterday. His heart rate is still low so he had to stay in bed the first day. He is a speed walker and I went with him around the floor he is staying on.
His creatin level is coming down but his BON is too high. It means his protein isn't breaking down right. He is still real dehydrated. They are concerned he is having muscle breakdown. They can't get a needle in him due to dehydration so he is drinking a lot. He had to wake up a lot last night to drink water.
This morning I am going to run with my brother then head back into the hospital. I am not sure when I will leave. My husband is going to fly out then I will head home for awhile. My son likes one of us to be here with him and I don't want to throw this all on my brother.
My son is doing great! This place is fantastic! He has 4 nurses, 2 doctors, a dietitian, a psychologist and a psychiatrist! He is talking to all of them. He is smiling, joking and laughing and his numbers are the best they have been since this all happened! And he gained two pounds this week while with me!
Turns out he had refeeding syndrome after the first hospital visit. He ate too much trying to gain the weight back and it threw all the nutrients out of whack and sped up his metabolism even more. They are going to slowly add calories each day so he can gain weight. When he hits 120 lbs (80% of his recommended weight) he can go to day treatment.
This place really knows there stuff and is very positive.
Thanks again for all your support and prayers!! They worked!!
So...my son and I made it to California - it was a very long day. Left our house at 7 AM, got here 13 hours later!
My son was not a joy to travel with. He gets cranky at me for everything. The Dr called me while we were in Atlanta and said his potassium had dropped again. I have had him eating more and more, so he has to be throwing up.
Today he gets admitted to the hospital. They will stabilize his nutrients and get him gaining weight. Turns out my brother knows the main benefactor of the hospital (which is strictly for eating disorders), so my son will be getting extra attention. The Dr told me that the bathroom will be locked so he has to tell them when he is going in and has to talk the whole time he is in there to someone who will be outside the door the whole time. He will be working with a whole team of specialists. When he is cleared from there, he will go in their outpatient program from 9 AM to 7 PM and stay with my brother.
Today I will be meeting with Drs and answering lots of questions. I am so worried about him staying in.
I got 5 hours sleep last night and couldn't sleep on the plane. I am also so stuffed from eating! The good news is he is eating more typed of foods again! Yesterday he actually ate bread with butter and real eggs (was getting egg whites or egg beaters). I still can't believe how much Splenda he uses in coffee and iced tea and he goes through at least 2 packs of sugarless gum a day. He drinks coke zero. I don't think that much artificial sweetener can be good for anyone!
I am so nervous about how this is going to go. My brother told him they are going to do lots of fun stuff after he gets out of the hospital. I hope it helps get him through it. The ex girlfriend wouldn't give him his garage door opener back and won't take her stuff back. Now she is saying they aren't broke up because he is sick and doesn't mean it. My husband is going to get his garage door opener from her while I am here. My son said it stressing him out. I am going to tell the Dr about it today. I am just hoping he doesn't end up calling her to get him out!
Anyway, sorry for rambling. This is just so much to go through. Six weeks later and I am still shocked that he is like this - so malnourished and close to death. It happened so fast.