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Sunday, March 17, 2013

So, I have gotten my son eating - slow and steady, most of the day. I am hoping he is not throwing it up. He is getting his endoscopy tomorrow - so, ironically, he has to fast today. He can only have clear fluids and has to take 4 laxative pills at noon - not good for someone weighing 106 lbs!

I am going to dissolve his vitamin and potassium pills so he can still take them.
I bought him tons of jello, vitamin water, chicken and beef broth. This is crazy!

Oh -- and the ex-girlfriend is still texting, calling, and messenging him on facebook! He isn't answering her - she still won't let up.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANCESCANAZ 3/18/2013 11:13AM

    He is blessed to have you! emoticon

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MIRAGE727 3/18/2013 7:24AM

    Keeping your family in my prayers! Focus on the positive.

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NEWKATHYNOW 3/17/2013 8:45PM

    Let's pray this is the turning point. Good luck with the test/ I hope his ex gives up soon so you all can have some peace of mind while you go through all this. You remain in my prayers! emoticon

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KAREN_NY 3/17/2013 6:41PM

    Sounds like you're making the most of the clear liquids scenario. Praying for encouraging next steps tomorrow!

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FUSIONFITNESS3 3/17/2013 5:26PM

    Sounds like the ex was likely an unhealthy relationship to be in.
Glad he's eating something or at least getting a bit of nutrients through your care. Hope the endoscopy is the start of a healing process for him.

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/17/2013 10:42AM


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NELLJONES 3/17/2013 9:33AM

    Hopefully you'll have a better idea of what is going on after the test and will know what to do next.

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SCAREWALDORF 3/17/2013 8:52AM

    At least he is eating something now. Hopefully when the nutrients kick in and start to make him feel stronger, it'll give him something to hold on to and inspire him to work with you and not against you. xx

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It's Almost Too Much To Bare...

Friday, March 15, 2013

As the days go on, it is really hard for me to keep it together. I am literally watching my son shrivel away. It is so hard not to cry. I took him to breakfast at friendlys yesterday. A tear fell from my eye, he saw it and said "cut it out - i cant eat anymore". I wiped it and started eating so he went back to eating. I have no appetite but am eating so he eats. Yesterday he ate 1000 calories! I can see his shoulder blade lines through his tshirt and sweatshirt! We went home and booked an appointment with a lawyer to write up his will. We got all the necessary info ready. I hoped that would spark something in his brain to say "hey, maybe I need help."

Today was worse for me. I went to work and my husband stayed with him. He was the lucky one that got to take him to the lawyer's office. She felt sp bad for him she took 40% off the price!

I hybernated in my office today. My other son popped in and we had a long talk. He thinks my son will snap out of it, I had to tell him the harsh realty. I have had to call all my relatives over the past two weeks and tell them. If anyone asks how he is I start crying and say "not good." th poor staff at PT hot to be wondering what is wrong with me. I cried quietly on the eliptical and when I had to tell a new therapist why I have to answer my cell if it tings during my session. At some point, I am going to go talk to a therapist.

We do have a plan in place with the doctors. Monday my son is getting an endoscopy by the GI Dr. He also ordered a lot of bloodwork. The kidney dr is keeping an eye on his kidneys. They have to rule out that it isn't nothing else, but, I have now been with him four days and I know the signs. If all tests come back negative, I have an appointment for him with a dietitian/eating disorder specialist. I have another call out to someone else - hoping to get an appointment sooner. Tuesday or Wednesday he goes back to the family doctor who is going to be very blunt with my son. We have rears he'd treatment centers and Monday will get preapproval from insurance so we will be ready to send him.

Please pray that he asks for help and stops denying he has a problem. I pray everyday that he says he needs help. He is 106 lbs now and I really feel that his life is in total jeopardy. I have really appreciated all your support and prayers over the past 6 weeks. I am sorry if I can't answer you all the time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 3/17/2013 8:30PM

    I have seen shows on Dr. Phil about girls that are anorexic or bulimic or both. I don't know if you could view some of his shows on it and find a good treatment center. One place had a very good success rate. I hardly ever watch him any more. You and your husband are doing your best. It isn't anything that you have done to cause this.

I will be praying for you, dear heart, your son and your family. Keep with your routines as much as possible, they do help.

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OOLALA53 3/17/2013 12:51PM

    Your son may not be able to comprehend his own situation because of lack of food. I don't know whether he has the legal right to refuse treatment, but he may not, and the medical community can step in.

I hope you can have the faith that each person is living out his own destiny, and we may not understand the big picture. Even as you take whatever steps you choose to, e emoticon verything will unfold as it is really needed for all concerned.

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MAMMER3 3/17/2013 12:33PM

    Cry whenever you want, talk to anyone you want!! You are an amazing person and mother, keep us updated it will get better.

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KANOE10 3/16/2013 9:10AM

    I will pray for you and your son. Hugs. I hope he gets treatment that helps him.

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GAILRUU 3/16/2013 8:56AM

    Has he seen a psychiatrist yet? I will pray for you.

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NEWKATHYNOW 3/15/2013 11:15PM

    You are in our thoughts and prayers. I just hope you can feel the support we are all sending your way. emoticon

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MAGGIENCALI 3/15/2013 8:41PM

    Sending hugs and prayers your way. emoticon emoticon

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FITFOODIE806 3/15/2013 8:15PM

    No need to answer. You are in my daily prayers.

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EDENZMOM 3/15/2013 6:35PM

    Giant hugs

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/15/2013 5:33PM

    I am so very sorry.

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CHERRY666 3/15/2013 3:41PM


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KAREN_NY 3/15/2013 3:32PM

    Don't worry about us, girl - you've got enough! Just know that even when you're not checking in, we're thinking of you.

Don't worry about those tears either -- cry when you can, because there are reasons we cry in distress; let yourself do that. See a counselor or therapist if it helps of course-- and they can be very helpful-- but crying isn't a symptom-- it's part of coping. :)

Praying for his wellness and your peace of mind.

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SCAREWALDORF 3/15/2013 3:29PM

    I can't imagine what you're going through. I will pray for you and your family. xoxo

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Hard But Productive Day..,

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Yesterday was a productive day. My husband spoke to the Dr and told him our suspicions. The Dr asked why we didn't say anything before. That got me mad! I have been telling his assistant and got cited the HEPA law!
Anyway, he jumped right on it and spoke with the kidney and GI doctor (who is also my husband's Doctor.

I took my son to the kidney Dr. He is now 106 lbs! He is getting more bloodwork for him Thursday. Then to his first visit with GI Doctor. He is also getting bloodwork for him Thursday and a scope of his colon and stomach Monday . My son said the Dr is looking for a couple diseases. I wish I could've gone back with him.

Our family Dr is getting preapproval for an intreatment facility
For eating disorders do all will be ready if that's what the tests show and he agrees to go.

I appreciated the time I had with my son yesterday despite the stress and his
moodiness. Last night he wanted to stay at his house, we worried but let him go. He will be back tonite. Today I will immerse myself in work, go to PT and run when I get home.

Thanks for all you prayers - they are helping!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANCESCANAZ 3/18/2013 11:15AM

    I'll keep praying amiga. emoticon

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DETERMINED_SOUL 3/14/2013 7:13PM

    I am happy to heart that things seem to be going a bit more smoothly for you

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FUSIONFITNESS3 3/13/2013 9:37PM

    Been a bit disconnected lately, so just went back to catch up with a few of your last blogs.
Thankful to hear about today's progress, however, slow it may seem. Praying the doctor/s will recieve the wisdom and insight needed to get your son onto the road of recovery. Praying your son wil be open to advice given him in regards to recovery, as well. May our God be your source of strength, courage and hope during this difficult time.

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NEWKATHYNOW 3/13/2013 1:44PM

    That's some serious progress! Thank heaven! I understand your closeness so well, as that is how our family interacts. The support and strength you both give and draw from each other is a priceless entity.
You all remain in our thoughts and prayers.

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KAREN_NY 3/13/2013 10:53AM

    If (and I realize this is a big IF) your son will agree, he can sign paperwork that allows you to communicate directly with the dr. office. HIPAA isn't just to lock down patient info, but does allow the patient to indicate who can be involved in the information for his care. There might be something that limits an office clerk's access to information, as implementation varies from state to state, but I'm guessing that wasn't the case here.

I love how you appreciate your time together - that is so important to his knowing you're supportive even when you disagree with his own approach. You don't even have to say it - it'll show. :) And I love that you get to do PT and a run today!!!

Praying that the outcomes improve each day.

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/13/2013 10:24AM


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EDENZMOM 3/13/2013 8:04AM

    You and your husband sound like you're on the right track with all of this, and I'm so glad that you got to the doctor ahead of time with the warning. All of this will just get better from here. Keep positive!

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FITFOODIE806 3/13/2013 7:42AM

    You continue to impress me with your strength and grace. Many hugs and prayers.

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EVIE4NOW 3/13/2013 7:30AM

  hoping it all turns out well... am sure the gf is not helping matters... from the last blog she sounds like a clinger and is an "all me" type person. he doesn't need the stress. stress can do funny things to your body and mind. good luck to all of you.

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The Girlfriend is Making My Son Worse...

Monday, March 11, 2013 day was going very well. I got in a little 2.4 mile run this morning. It was great weather and I really enjoyed it. I ran a flat route and my knee and leg felt fine. I am going to increase it to 3 miles tomorrow and see how it does.

I took my son and my assistant to Fogo de chou for dinner in Baltimore. My husband took my sick son to a flyers game. I came home and was relaxing while watching Revenge when my husband texted that he heard my son tell his girlfriend (over the phone) that he wanted her to get her stuff out of his house tomorrow and they were done.

Around 11 tonight my phone rang and it was his girlfriend. I didn't answer it. She left a message that she wanted to know what was going on, no one was answering their phone and she had a flat tire. I called my husband. He said she was nonstop calling and texting both my son and husband. They had to leave the game early because my son was dizzy and not feeling well. He was going to stay at my house but decided to go home because he didn't know if his girlfriend would steal stuff.

Anyway, I texted her and told her he needed rest and would talk to her in the morning. She then started sending all these texts to me about how she wrecked her car, he needs to tell her he is tired himself, and on and on. And even after I told her how sick he feels and my husband is taking care of him she still showed up at his house! At this moment my husband is trying to talk some sense into her. My son should be asleep and, is instead dealing with this.
This is nuts! And none of us needs this right now! My son said she is psycho.

I am trying to get him to go to John Hopkins now. He wants to get a specialist first - but he needs to go in now. He said he is very dizzy again and I am so worried.

Sorry if this didn't make a lot of sense - I am trying to make sense of it myself!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMMER3 3/14/2013 8:04PM

    It is amazing how much people can affect other people, I completely agree that she is making him worse. You just have to be strong and keep her away from him and the more he pushes her away the more power he will feel and maybe get him to take better care of himself. He needs all the strength he can get and so do you guys. I am glad your husband was with him at least he had the extra person to help him. He is a lucky kid to have both of you and I know it will work out. Sometimes faith is all you have to rely on. Your amazing!! emoticon

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NEWKATHYNOW 3/12/2013 11:18PM

    It sounds like your son is making the right steps. Now if the girlfriend willl just leave you all alone you could make some real progress, You are all still in my thoughts and prayers. God bless!

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DETERMINED_SOUL 3/12/2013 9:49PM

    Sorry to hear all that is going on. It is hard on a family when they are dealing with an ailment and others who are suppose to be supportive and close just don't care. I hope that your son gets the help needs and that girl can get her stuff without causing too much chaos around your son. He sounds like he really needs rest. Take care..hugs.

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GAILRUU 3/12/2013 9:49AM

    Can you change your phone number?

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MAGGIENCALI 3/11/2013 11:30PM


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KAREN_NY 3/11/2013 1:54PM

    Ohhh. I'm sorry I didn't read this one first. I hope that by now there is some more good news from Johns Hopkins!!! (((HUGS)))

It's probably good that the unsupportive girlfriend is on her way out, but he might need some help drawing a firm line. Changing locks, etc. My heart aches for him and for your family today.

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KICKINGKILOS 3/11/2013 10:55AM

    so sorry about all of this. I hope it gets ok soon.

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EDENZMOM 3/11/2013 8:31AM

    I completely understand. It's not fun when one party is done and the other is not, it brings out desperation in a weird way, and causes some to do seemingly psycho things. I'm so glad that's he's allowing himself to lean on you guys. You provide such a stable post for him, and that's an amazing attribute as parents to contribute to adult children (I recognise it, as I have it as well). Great parenting, and great stress-relief! yay to the run!... but you ran this morning and you're not exhausted from the Daylight Savings? my 6am was significantly harder this morning than usual. I hope you have a fantastic day today!

Comment edited on: 3/11/2013 8:58:04 AM

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GETNHEALTHY45 3/11/2013 8:27AM


I feel for you! Hang in there! It's so awesome that he has you guys to be there for him and he's letting you. Stick together and it will work out!


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FRANCESCANAZ 3/11/2013 8:00AM

    It wouldn't make much sense except for the fact that our 24 yr. old son has had his share of "Psycho girlfriends" and they do like to TEXT! One girl texted him over 70 times in one day! He needs to lose her and quick.

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BEWELL48 3/11/2013 5:43AM

    Sorry you are having these concerns! Hope it sorts out soon! emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/11/2013 12:37AM


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My Son's Dr Visit...

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Last night my son texted me and wanted to stop by my work today, then get subs at a place near our old house then take him to his Dr's appointment.
He said he didn't want us coming back with him at the Dr. We (my hubby, son and I) had extra time between the deli and the Dr so we took him to the grocery store. While in there, he said the kidney Dr told him to take would THINK that he would have picked it up when he told him to! Anyway, we bought that and other groceries for him. He stood and read every label and I could tell he is just not thinking quick. It took forever to get down three aisles. He wouldn't buy anything with sugar!

We then went to the Dr - our family Dr. My son went back by himself. After a while, they both came out. The Dr started to try to tell my husband and I a few things, then had all three of us go back to his office (there was someone else in the waiting room). The Dr is setting up an appointment for my son to see a gastroenterologist. He said his body is not absorbing nutrients. He said he told my son the only time he has seen this is with young girls with eating disorders. He said since my son told him he is eating a lot and not purging that he must have something else going on. My son is going to see the same gastroenterologist that my husband sees.

Tuesday I am going to take him to the kidney Dr for a follow up, and my family Dr is going to talk to the kidney Dr ahead of time.

I asked my son if he liked what the family Dr was doing, and he said he did and that the family Dr was going to get to the bottom of it.

I did observe that it took my son a long time to eat his lunch. He ate 1/2 of a chicken wrap. He then waiting a little while, then slowly at the rest. Before this happened, he always ate half, then wrapped the other half for another meal. I packed my lunch today and brought it with me (trader joe's greek salad, cottage cheese and a pack of pink salmon). The salmon was a double portion size. I ate half and gave the other half to my son. He ate it after we came out of the Dr's office. I brought up how I noticed he was eating slow. He said he didn't want to feel sick.

He wanted to stop at GNC on the way home. He picked up muscle milks. He drank 1/2 of a big one on the way home.

Tonight he is going to an ice hockey game. He asked my husband to go with him, my husband told him he already had plans. I was stunned. He has plans but I felt like my son was reaching out to him and his plans were not a big deal. I felt like yelling at him, but I didn't. When my son was with the Dr, my husband said he regretted saying that. My son hardly has energy to walk, we have no idea how he is going to make it tonight. My son told his girlfriend she could go so it was too late to change. Later, my husband asked when the next game was - he said Sunday. So, they are going to that one.

I did manage to get into work early and get to PT this morning. I bought a stick at the running store this afternoon to rub on my IT band and quad. Already used it once, boy is it sore!

I am so happy that tomorrow is FRIDAY!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 3/17/2013 8:20PM

    It sounds like he is burning more calories than he is taking in. This can make you feel woozy and nauseous. I hope he gets a doctor that knows about eating disorders. He may feel like giving up with that girlfriend! Sadly, he may feel it is the only way out of his situation with her.

I would tell her that your son is sick and for the time being, needs to be by himself. Do you think she wrecked the car on purpose, or had a flat on purpose. I have seen some women that think they have to be the center of attention, regardless of how the other person is feeling. They let them fend for themselves instead of trying to care for them physically.

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KAREN_NY 3/11/2013 1:50PM

    Catching up on your blogs and news since last week. There are some encouraging things here.
- He thinks he's eating a lot, but people with ED do think that. The fact that he's eating a little more is perhaps a sign of being more objective about it.
- It's also good that the dr. introduced the concept of an eating disorder, without hitting him over the head with it yet. Maybe that indicates that there is time to ease into treatment? (It's also possible that the dr. is just nonconfrontational, I suppose.)
- He. Reached. Out. That must do a mom's heart good.


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MAMMER3 3/9/2013 8:09PM

    I know someone who would get very sick when she ate and would have to eat very slow and very little. She found out that she had IBS and they gave her a diet of certain foods to eat and what will help absorb more nutrients etc.. I have to say you are an amazing role model with everything you have done for yourself and the knowledge you have about food and eating well you can teach him so much and really help him. It is a hard road not knowing etc.. but it looks like you are getting to the bottom of everything and bringing your family together in the mean time.

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KRISZTA11 3/9/2013 6:23AM

    I hope you'll find out what's going on with your son, and he gets adequate treatment and gets better!
Your son is lucky to have such wonderful, caring and supporting parents.

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GETNHEALTHY45 3/8/2013 6:40PM

    I don't know if you realize what an inspiration you are to those of us just getting into the healthy stealth mode. You are going through a really tough time, and you are treating yourself with exercise and healthy habits. That is so awesome. I'm looking forward to being in your shoes some day.

Keep up the great work!

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FITFOODIE806 3/7/2013 7:53PM

    I know you didn't ask for advice, so I apologize if I'm stepping out of bounds. I'd look into seeing a doctor that has experience or specializes with eating disorders. His behaviors from this blog and from others make it sound like it would be worth checking out. And if its totally off base, then you can move forward without any questions in the back of your mind.

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/7/2013 5:24PM


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SABLENESS 3/7/2013 4:44PM

    Sounds like things are slowly turning around with your son. At least you know he got some decent food in him today. Continuing prayers....

I too am VERY glad tomorrow's Friday!

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NEWKATHYNOW 3/7/2013 4:19PM

    It sounds like encouraging news that he is listening to the Dr. Will keep you all in my prayers! emoticon

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    Sometimes hearing things from someone other than your parent really hits home. I hope that the dr's are able to help your son. You are doing so fantastic at remaining strong.

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SATCHMO99 3/7/2013 4:12PM

    It sure sounds like your son has an eating disorder, and the Dr was stereotyping by saying young girls, it is something that boys do also succumb to.

Eating slowly is one of the classic signs, too.

Examining every label for sugar - why did he need to? Unless he has been told medically to avoid sugar?

I hope you are successful with the doctors. Is it possible to talk to the doctor separately and explore the possibility of anorexia?

My niece suffered from that, and had to be hospitalised (sectioned) for a few months. She, her father and her sister went through family counselling. Her mother's death triggered it, and they were all grieving.

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EDENZMOM 3/7/2013 4:10PM

    You're a fantastic mom, and I'm so happy for you that the lines of communication are reforming between your son and you/your husband!

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