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My Son's Dr Visit...

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Last night my son texted me and wanted to stop by my work today, then get subs at a place near our old house then take him to his Dr's appointment.
He said he didn't want us coming back with him at the Dr. We (my hubby, son and I) had extra time between the deli and the Dr so we took him to the grocery store. While in there, he said the kidney Dr told him to take would THINK that he would have picked it up when he told him to! Anyway, we bought that and other groceries for him. He stood and read every label and I could tell he is just not thinking quick. It took forever to get down three aisles. He wouldn't buy anything with sugar!

We then went to the Dr - our family Dr. My son went back by himself. After a while, they both came out. The Dr started to try to tell my husband and I a few things, then had all three of us go back to his office (there was someone else in the waiting room). The Dr is setting up an appointment for my son to see a gastroenterologist. He said his body is not absorbing nutrients. He said he told my son the only time he has seen this is with young girls with eating disorders. He said since my son told him he is eating a lot and not purging that he must have something else going on. My son is going to see the same gastroenterologist that my husband sees.

Tuesday I am going to take him to the kidney Dr for a follow up, and my family Dr is going to talk to the kidney Dr ahead of time.

I asked my son if he liked what the family Dr was doing, and he said he did and that the family Dr was going to get to the bottom of it.

I did observe that it took my son a long time to eat his lunch. He ate 1/2 of a chicken wrap. He then waiting a little while, then slowly at the rest. Before this happened, he always ate half, then wrapped the other half for another meal. I packed my lunch today and brought it with me (trader joe's greek salad, cottage cheese and a pack of pink salmon). The salmon was a double portion size. I ate half and gave the other half to my son. He ate it after we came out of the Dr's office. I brought up how I noticed he was eating slow. He said he didn't want to feel sick.

He wanted to stop at GNC on the way home. He picked up muscle milks. He drank 1/2 of a big one on the way home.

Tonight he is going to an ice hockey game. He asked my husband to go with him, my husband told him he already had plans. I was stunned. He has plans but I felt like my son was reaching out to him and his plans were not a big deal. I felt like yelling at him, but I didn't. When my son was with the Dr, my husband said he regretted saying that. My son hardly has energy to walk, we have no idea how he is going to make it tonight. My son told his girlfriend she could go so it was too late to change. Later, my husband asked when the next game was - he said Sunday. So, they are going to that one.

I did manage to get into work early and get to PT this morning. I bought a stick at the running store this afternoon to rub on my IT band and quad. Already used it once, boy is it sore!

I am so happy that tomorrow is FRIDAY!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 3/17/2013 8:20PM

    It sounds like he is burning more calories than he is taking in. This can make you feel woozy and nauseous. I hope he gets a doctor that knows about eating disorders. He may feel like giving up with that girlfriend! Sadly, he may feel it is the only way out of his situation with her.

I would tell her that your son is sick and for the time being, needs to be by himself. Do you think she wrecked the car on purpose, or had a flat on purpose. I have seen some women that think they have to be the center of attention, regardless of how the other person is feeling. They let them fend for themselves instead of trying to care for them physically.

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KAREN_NY 3/11/2013 1:50PM

    Catching up on your blogs and news since last week. There are some encouraging things here.
- He thinks he's eating a lot, but people with ED do think that. The fact that he's eating a little more is perhaps a sign of being more objective about it.
- It's also good that the dr. introduced the concept of an eating disorder, without hitting him over the head with it yet. Maybe that indicates that there is time to ease into treatment? (It's also possible that the dr. is just nonconfrontational, I suppose.)
- He. Reached. Out. That must do a mom's heart good.


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MAMMER3 3/9/2013 8:09PM

    I know someone who would get very sick when she ate and would have to eat very slow and very little. She found out that she had IBS and they gave her a diet of certain foods to eat and what will help absorb more nutrients etc.. I have to say you are an amazing role model with everything you have done for yourself and the knowledge you have about food and eating well you can teach him so much and really help him. It is a hard road not knowing etc.. but it looks like you are getting to the bottom of everything and bringing your family together in the mean time.

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KRISZTA11 3/9/2013 6:23AM

    I hope you'll find out what's going on with your son, and he gets adequate treatment and gets better!
Your son is lucky to have such wonderful, caring and supporting parents.

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GETNHEALTHY45 3/8/2013 6:40PM

    I don't know if you realize what an inspiration you are to those of us just getting into the healthy stealth mode. You are going through a really tough time, and you are treating yourself with exercise and healthy habits. That is so awesome. I'm looking forward to being in your shoes some day.

Keep up the great work!

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FITFOODIE806 3/7/2013 7:53PM

    I know you didn't ask for advice, so I apologize if I'm stepping out of bounds. I'd look into seeing a doctor that has experience or specializes with eating disorders. His behaviors from this blog and from others make it sound like it would be worth checking out. And if its totally off base, then you can move forward without any questions in the back of your mind.

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/7/2013 5:24PM


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SABLENESS 3/7/2013 4:44PM

    Sounds like things are slowly turning around with your son. At least you know he got some decent food in him today. Continuing prayers....

I too am VERY glad tomorrow's Friday!

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NEWKATHYNOW 3/7/2013 4:19PM

    It sounds like encouraging news that he is listening to the Dr. Will keep you all in my prayers! emoticon

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    Sometimes hearing things from someone other than your parent really hits home. I hope that the dr's are able to help your son. You are doing so fantastic at remaining strong.

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SATCHMO99 3/7/2013 4:12PM

    It sure sounds like your son has an eating disorder, and the Dr was stereotyping by saying young girls, it is something that boys do also succumb to.

Eating slowly is one of the classic signs, too.

Examining every label for sugar - why did he need to? Unless he has been told medically to avoid sugar?

I hope you are successful with the doctors. Is it possible to talk to the doctor separately and explore the possibility of anorexia?

My niece suffered from that, and had to be hospitalised (sectioned) for a few months. She, her father and her sister went through family counselling. Her mother's death triggered it, and they were all grieving.

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EDENZMOM 3/7/2013 4:10PM

    You're a fantastic mom, and I'm so happy for you that the lines of communication are reforming between your son and you/your husband!

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Catching Up...

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

This week I am shuffling along. My last PT before my eval is tomorrow. They have added a lot more exercises for me to do and I have had my IT band and quad massaged every time I go. My knee still makes a gross crunching sound when I walk upstairs, in fact, now the other one has started! My fiftieth birthday is coming up - I guess my body knows it. I decided to get a shot in the knee that is hurting me. I hate shots but I really have to get back to running. I have a HM in mid May and I want to start training. Plus, with all the stress about my son, I need to run.

I finally saw my son today (he needed money)! I took him to a Japanese restaurant for lunch. He had sushi, I had chicken and broccoli.
He is going back to the family Dr tomorrow. He tested false positive for Lyme disease and his EVB was positive. He had mono a long time ago. Not sure if that is affecting it. The Dr also has all the tests from the hospital. My son promised to tell us what the dr reports. Of course, he wants to go by himself!

I didn't get on him about being rude the past week, but, did mention that he should call his dad and at least talk sports.

My husband's esophagus was constricted (he has acid reflux) and he had to get outpatient surgery today. Yes, my family is falling apart! This is the third time he has had it done! I worked out of the house after I picked him up. Got quite a lot of work done. It has been raining and very windy all day so Roxy didn't get her walks in. She doesn't like going out when it's like this. It is supposed to be very windy tonight - doubt I will get much sleep. I have to get up early and go in - my assistant's son got admitted to the hospital today because he has a bowel blockage from the stomach bug! I have to cover her!

I am still not eating a heck of a lot - I have no appetite. I am drinking lots of water. So, it is one thing after another...


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANCESCANAZ 3/7/2013 11:34AM

    Run girl run! emoticon Hope things get better FAST!

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GETNHEALTHY45 3/7/2013 8:08AM

    That's great that you connected with your son and good news about the negative Lupus results. I had fatigue which went away by itself (and tested positive for EBV). If you've ever had Mono, you'll test positive, but they can tell by about four different markers if it is active again. I never had mono, but they say over 90% of adults have the virus (most without symptoms). I hope this helps. The good thing is that it went away without treatment.

Your doing great handling all of this. Keep sparking!

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KICKINGKILOS 3/7/2013 7:56AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EDENZMOM 3/6/2013 9:39PM

    You sound like you have lot on your plate! I need to give you a Supermom Award for the last week! You deserve it.
All the best to you and your family!!

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BOILHAM 3/6/2013 8:49PM

    emoticon Hope things get better all around.

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/6/2013 8:31PM


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Mama Bear Is Taking Charge - Slowly But Surely...

Monday, March 04, 2013

I have dived into a plan to help my son. He really looks up to and has a great relationship with my brother. My brother (who lives in california) has called him and begun talks which will lead up to what is bothering him. I also talked to my sister n law. We went over everything and she called her son.
My nephew started calling my son tonight. My son didn't answer but i know he will call him back. My nephew is six months older than my son and they have always discussed "girl" issues.

So, that is my current plan. My son needs to talk out what is bothering him. I am trying to provide the ears to do that.

I also needed to take care of my poor husband. He is so upset and heartbroken. I texted his best friend and told him what was up and asked him to take my husband out for a drink. They need to chat.

Yeah, as one of my SparkBuddies put it - I am the Mama Bear...gotta look out for the family! Thank God for friends and family!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KICKINGKILOS 3/7/2013 7:55AM

    emoticon I'm praying and I hope all will be well soon!

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SABLENESS 3/7/2013 6:39AM

    It does indeed take a village. I hope your son can feel the care and support of his family.

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NEWKATHYNOW 3/6/2013 7:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAREN_NY 3/6/2013 3:14PM

    Yes, how wonderful to be able to call in the troops (or the ... what do you call a group of bears?... )! I'm behind on the website, but thinking of you. :)

ps... i looked that up. it's a "sloth" or a "sleuth". how about that. Good sleuthing!

Comment edited on: 3/6/2013 3:15:57 PM

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    Good work! Be strong and patient. emoticon

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FRANCESCANAZ 3/5/2013 8:08PM

    Way to go Mama bear, now...go do something great for YOU. emoticon

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DETERMINED_SOUL 3/5/2013 10:52AM

    You are such a strong woman and very inspiring. Being able to ask for help and know whom to ask in each situation is the definition of a great wife and mother. :) emoticon

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CHERRY666 3/5/2013 9:18AM

    You are an amazing woman. *hug*

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GAILRUU 3/5/2013 7:59AM

    Hoping and praying for you!

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SCAREWALDORF 3/5/2013 3:17AM

    Good work! Just make sure you're also taking care of yourself, k? xoxo

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FITFOODIE806 3/4/2013 11:04PM

    Good for you mama bear! Someday he will thank you for all this. You are amazing.

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EDENZMOM 3/4/2013 9:24PM

    So great to see you're being super proactive. Big strength and big hugs

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Getting' My Mojo Back...

Saturday, March 02, 2013

Thank you for all your prayers. I had my day of sadness and despair - wasn't able to eat a thing all day either. I know a lot of you eat more when stressed - I am the opposite. I was thinking my son must be the same way.

Anyway, through your ideas and suggestions on an ED website, I "regrouped" this morning and decided to be in charge. My husband and I are going to hire an Intervention Specialist to help us help our son. We have located a really good treatment center when he is ready. We aren't going to bug him, but will text time to time.

And, I am going to get back to my own stuff. Today we are going to check out a new gym near our house. I am now allowed to use an eliptical. Running has always been my greatest stress reliever and I need to get back to it. I also just bought the DVD "Spirit of the Marathon" as suggested by a Sparkfriend a while back. I think this is the perfect time to watch it, since I am going through "one" right now!

Thanks again for your support!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDENZMOM 3/4/2013 8:05AM

    I really like the idea of an intervention.
I'm not sure how it works in the US, but from years of working as a paramedic, if there's a patient who we believe is a threat to themselves, and does not want to go to a hospital, then we can get the police involved to have them removed and assessed for treatment. I think a lawyer would be your next best move, and definitely a proactive approach. Anorexia/bulimia is a psychological disorder, and might have to be assessed by force. It may turn into a disaster of verbal abuse, but he will definitely thank you after you overcome this hurdle.
best of luck, and we are always here if you need to talk.
Stay strong momma!

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EDENZMOM 3/4/2013 7:55AM

    hang in there, you'll all pull through this.
You definitely need a good doc that you can rely on to get the proper tests done to figure out what is wrong. keep us updated, we are all sending positive energy
--sorry, this comment was for the feb 27th blog, my corresponding comment is above --

Comment edited on: 3/4/2013 8:06:03 AM

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FRANCESCANAZ 3/3/2013 5:53PM

    Hang in there mama. emoticon

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GETNHEALTHY45 3/3/2013 5:38PM

    Wow! My heart weeps for you. I have a similar story about my son, although it's a different issue, and he is currently in a treatment center right now. We've been through hell for the last 7 months - him in and out of the hospital and me fearing for his life. The bright side is that there is treatment for your son, too. (That's sounds too much like a platitude...)

Beyond that, all I can say is to take it one day at a time, lean on your support, your faith, and take all the help that is offered. And please continue to take care of yourself because he needs you to be healthy, too. I am so glad that you can write about all of this, and that there are so many Sparkers that are so supportive. It's about more than weight loss - it's about life - and improving it, and sometimes just getting through it together.

Hold onto those rays of hope. The sunrise may not be far behind...

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FAIRLIGHT914 3/3/2013 12:47PM

    You Got this! emoticon emoticon

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REMEMBER2BME 3/3/2013 8:22AM

    Outstanding blog. Wonderful of you to take charge of what you can. Outstanding!

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KAREN_NY 3/3/2013 7:56AM

    I've often said that the charge forward is really all about stamina - and you've got it in spades!! Truly admiring you,


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CASEYTALK 3/3/2013 7:55AM

    Grant me the strength to change the things I can change.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Grant me the wisdom to know the difference.

You seem to be living these wise words, even under such deeply painful circumstances. You are inspiring. Thank you.

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SABLENESS 3/2/2013 7:16PM

    emoticonIt helps to have a plan in place.

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SCAREWALDORF 3/2/2013 4:55PM


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NEWKATHYNOW 3/2/2013 3:48PM

    Will keep you in my prayers. You're on the right track! emoticon

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DETERMINED_SOUL 3/2/2013 11:25AM

    I too, am one who doesn't eat when stressed. I am sending my prayers and hugs your way. You are going through a lot right now and from the sounds of it, that video may help. You are on a good path to recovery.

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MAGGIENCALI 3/2/2013 10:47AM

    I have been watching Spirit of the Marathon lately for motivation and inspiration too. emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 3/2/2013 10:21AM


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AZMOMXTWO 3/2/2013 9:56AM

  keep moving forward

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Very Bad Day...

Friday, March 01, 2013

I am not doing well at all. All my son's tests came back negative. He is totally denying anorexia/bullimia. But, we are fairly certain that is what it is. He is down to 110 lbs. he checked himself out of the hospital this afternoon. I told his girlfriend he needed to stay there - she gave him a ride home (he is too weak to drive or even walk that far). He is barely speaking to me (answers texts with one word) and will not speak at all to husband. When the Dr asked my son last night if he ever threw up food my son looked the Dr in the eye and said "no". My husband said that was not true and now my son won't speak to him. My husband is completely crushed, but I am so proud of him. It had to be said.

My husband and I called a support line. We can hire a lawyer to prove my son isn't thinking correctly and make him go to a treatment center. My son was talking about going to John Hopkins next. I researched and they have an eating disorder clinic. They can't see my son unless he approves, but if he is down there at least we will have a head start.

Me? I have been crying all day. I had a hard time keeping it in during my mammogram this morning and didn't go to work. I can't handle them questioning me right now. I am going to go in tomorrow when no one is there.
I also am having a real hard time researching eating disorders. Most info is directed at females or losing weight. My Facebook, Spark, apps - everything on losing weight! No wonder many people are underweight and having issues!

I feel like my son is going to die and I can't stop it! I never thought I would have to think about him on life support, talk to him about a will, where to bury is too much!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAILRUU 3/4/2013 8:04AM

    I hope things are better for you. I did say a prayer.

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FRANCESCANAZ 3/3/2013 5:56PM

    Pobrecita! I am so sorry for what you are enduring. I know how helpless you feel. I also have an adult child who is killing themselves slowly and it is hard to watch. As parents we should have a lot more rights to protect our adult children when they can no longer take care of themselves. It is such a feeling of helplessness. Thank God you have your husband. Stay strong.

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SCAREWALDORF 3/2/2013 4:55PM

    Have just logged onto Sparkpeople and seen this blog. I am so sorry that you're going through this. Bulimia is an absolute b**** and it's hard to beat, but with loving parents like you and your husband, he'll make it through. It takes patience, but you'll all get there in the end.


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MAGGIENCALI 3/2/2013 10:45AM

    I am so sorry for you and what you must be going through. I can't imagine how difficult and painful this must be. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon

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CHERRY666 3/2/2013 9:46AM

    I'm so sorry your son, you and your family are going through this. Just so you know, I had severe bulimia when I was younger, but over time I overcame it. . . It's possible. (And, really, it had absolutely nothing to do with wanting to be thin or anything like that. I just didn't know how to deal with my emotions and that was a way to suppress them temporarily. I don't know if that's what is going on with your son -- we're all different -- I'm just saying my story.)


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KICKINGKILOS 3/2/2013 8:07AM

    Hey--I'm so sorry to hear about this! I'm going to say special prayers for your boy and I''m sorry that you are going through such a challenging time.
Life can be hard at times--I know its easier said but keep the faith and stay strong for your son. I'm really going to be praying.

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FUSIONFITNESS3 3/2/2013 2:30AM

    I am so sorry to read about the challenges you are facing with your son's health over the last month. It sounds like you and your husband have a very good idea about what his health problems are stemming from. Unfortunately, we see anorexia/bulimia as a female disorder but that is fast changing with more males being diagnosed now too. It is so tough to see our loved ones struggle and my heart goes out to you. Know that you are in my prayers. I prayer that God will be your and your husband's source of peace, hope and courage during this difficult time. I pray for your son that he will be given wisdom to make the right choices to get the medical help he needs. Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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JESSICAMAE83 3/2/2013 1:00AM

    I am sorry you are going through this. I will pray for you and your family and hopefully your son can get the help that he needs. No one should have to bury their own child.

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FRENCHTOSD 3/1/2013 11:30PM

    You and your family are in my prayers. What a difficult time you are having. I'm so glad to hear that both you and your husband are not in denial and I'm so sorry your son is. He must be terrified. Tell him to kick out the bad thoughts when they come and focus on his dreams and plans. Stay strong and don't give up. He's mad at you because he knows you are right.

I hope for some positive news and I'm so glad you are posting. This is why Spark People is here. XO Sharon

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CASEYTALK 3/1/2013 11:07PM

    I cannot begin to know the hell you are living through. Your son doesn't admit it to himself, but he needs you now. Please remember to take care of yourself so you can take care of him.

If it is too hard to face in its entirety, maybe it will help to focus on one step at a time? You are doing the right next step -- focus on getting him into treatment.

We are all here for you!


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NEWKATHYNOW 3/1/2013 9:05PM

    I am so sorry to read what you're going through. I will keep you and all your family in my thoughts and prayers. It's much more stressful to be the one doing the worrying because you feel so helpless watching what you can't control. I pray your son will go to John Hopkins and accept the help they can give him. emoticon

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TWINZMOM7 3/1/2013 8:19PM

  I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts.

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ONEKIDSMOM 3/1/2013 7:07PM

    Thoughts and prayers are with you. My flippant status about "forever" was pretty much my jaded view that even if we were out of current areas of conflict, our men and women would be serving "somewhere" around the globe, as they are still in Germany, Japan, Korea, etc. When compared to your concerns for your son's health, this pales.

So hugs, thoughts and prayers, my dear. So sorry for your pain and anguish... a mom feels it more for her children than even for herself.

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SOSHIV2011 3/1/2013 6:05PM

  PRAY. Hang in there. There is divine will in everything. WE do not have controls (though we would like to think that everything is in OUR control). PRAY.
When we think of "our" is not really "our" child at all...they are souls assigned to us. Though we think and get attached to the beings thinking they are "ours".
Have faith that nothing, absolutely NOTHING is going to happen to your son.

Do EVERYthing in your power. Make all attempts. Talk to your son. THEN LET GO.


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ANGIE121 3/1/2013 5:34PM

    I am so sorry you are going thru this ....I cant imagine your fear ....I will pray for your son, I wish there was something i could say to make it better! I am a mom so, can relate there....and I would be very scared....God bless you and your family

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