Wednesday, December 04, 2013
This quote, one of my favorites got me out of bed today. "No Matter how you feel, Get up, dress up, show up, and Never give up!"
It got me to take a shower, put on nice clothes, do my hair and make-up, and make my breakfast.
So then I took the Bostons for a nice long walk around the marina and thought "I can do this today". I can find out what is now wrong health-wise with my son and face the day. He went into the hospital, all will be good in the world.
So I went to work to do what I had to, and found my husband wrestling a Christmas tree outside of the Elementary School. The holder had a leak, hence water - all over the inside foyer. Oh joy! Between all the headaches of the flood at the school and my son's illness/hospitalization my poor husband, as he put it, has reached the end of his rope. (Luckily no one saw him wrestling the tree). He told me if he disappears for a week don't worry, he will be back.
All I could think is "How can I do that?"
So I went into my poor, torn up office and completed what I need to. My son texted me that he didn't like the hospital food and asked me to bring him his favorites. He wanted Cool Ranch Doritos, Men's Health Nuts, and Costco Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. I told him I would be up when I was done working and I get a this text from him "OK, I will starve to death".
Now, I wanted to type "You already are" or "If you are really that hungry you will eat the hospital food", but I have learned that falls into what he wants. He is very manipulative. So, I ignored it.
When I was done with my work and ready to go to the hospital it was 12:30. I realized this is where I fell off the maintenance track last time. So, I ate the lunch I had packed before I went to the hospital. I am going to have to make a conscious effort to stay on track through this ordeal.
While I was sitting with my son, his new psychiatrist came in and asked to speak with me privately. My son seemed edgy about it, but, in the end gave permission. The psychiatrist tells me my son wasn't very honest with him, saying he wasn't having eating disorder issues right now. The Dr also told me he weighs less than the last time he went into the hospital, right before I took him to Rady Hospital in San Diego. I didn't ask for the number, it would have broken my heart, but I know it is under 100 lbs. He also told me my son is anemic and that is strange for a male. I googled anemic with anorexia, and they can go hand in hand, so I am not really sure why the pyschiatrist thought it was abnormal. It explains why my son is so cold all of the time. I told the psychiatrist my biggest fear is that the Doctors will let him go home. It was so hard to get him to go this time, I can't imagine him ever going back. The good news is that he is in a Delaware hospital, which works differently than where we live in Maryland. The psychiatrist has the authority to commit him indefinitely. He said it would be the last ditch effort to save him. That made me feel better, although it took everything I had during that meeting not to break down.
We are hoping he decides to go to a treatment center. My therapist suggested giving him a choice - psychiatric ward or the treatment center.
So, I went back for a while and watched my son sleep, finally got to have a really hard cry in my car on the way home, talked to my BFF from Texas (who just happened to call out of the blue) and then took the Bostons for another long walk.
My husband went to help a friend and then will be home a little later, so we will be having a chat.
This not giving up thing is really hard!
Added note: I am taking care of my son's Boston while he is in the hospital...she is 2 -- Roxy "tolerates" her!!
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
My phone rang and woke me at 6:29 am this morning. My ring tone is the Brady Bunch theme song, so I did wake with a jolt! My opening Director told me the fire alarm went off and I could hear it in the background. She didn't see a fire or smoke. My husband said it was probably set off by all the dust from the torn out drywall and ceiling tiles - but that was a guess so in 25 mins I was dressed and at the school ready to meet the firemen. They were not there, my Director had cancelled them. A fuse had blown in the room where the alarm went off because there was four huge fan blowers running.
I then walked around the school and almost cried. Drywall is torn out of the teachers' lounge, my toddler classroom, my office, the hallway and three bathrooms. My thoughts went back to when the school was built. And, I knew in two weeks it would be back to "normal".
I ran to Dunkin Donuts for a coffee and egg/cheese muffin and then quickly went through my pile of work for the day. My son asked me to take him to the hospital AFTER he put new speakers in his Mustang. My husband talked to our family Doctor this morning and found out that the Dr had put together a team of Doctors at a different hospital than my son had wanted to go to. I was excited about this development but worried my son would not want to go. I decided not to say anything and see what happened. I waited outside for 45 minutes for my son to finish with his car (I got a lot of Sparking done) and then he got his dog and hopped in the car. He said we had to hurry because the hospital had called and had a bed for him. Turns out that his best friend (the one fighting cancer for the third time) works in the pharmacy there! I had his dog so I dropped my son off at the main entrance. I think it may be easier for him to talk about his issues and be more open if I am not there so I found it a great excuse to leave. I said to call if he needed anything.
My son is still mad at my husband. He said he doesn't want his dad to visit him in the hospital. He doesn't have a good reason to be mad at his dad, and I am sure he will work it out as he goes. I don't think my husband cares if he doesn't see him right now, he is so frustrated with the whole thing.
So, thanks for all your prayers, it is helping! And, thank you for your continued support. When I signed up to SparkPeople close to 3 years ago I thought it would be totally focused on running and weight loss. I never, in a million years thought that it would involve all of this! It has helped me more than you could ever know.
Monday, December 02, 2013
This morning I walked in to open the school (early childhood and elementary) at 6:15. My normal opener was on vacation. I walked into water almost everywhere! The hallway, my office, adult bathrooms, staff lounge, toddler room and PreK classroom! Parents with children start coming in at 6:30. I saw water pouring down from the ceiling! I ran and shut the water off and bolted up to the attic. A gasket attached to a pipe to the water heater had blown, The attic floor was soaked. I ran back down and called the plumber and then started moving furniture out of the most destroyed classroom. My teachers helped me get the hallway dry so no one would fall. The plumber came out within half and hour and fixed the gasket. My husband got in around 9:30 (had his phone off and missed my twenty calls!). Turns out it is the plumbing company's fault. They fixed it two weeks ago and didn't change the rotted gasket. Their insurance is paying for it. -- the cost will be in excess of $50,000.00!!
For six hours I used the wet dry vac, mopped, moved furniture, toys, did wash, shampooed carpets. I am exhausted! I think I might be getting too old for this! I did have several parents thank me for not closing. a water remediation company is still there (it's 10 PM) yanking out dry wall, ceiling tiles and carpets. It's a huge mess!
On the "up" side, my son said he will go to the hospital tomorrow after he puts new speakers in his car!! That boy is going to drive me nuts! Tonight I pray that he is okay until he gets there and that he has a major breakthrough while he is there and goes to a ED treatment center.
I hope you are having a great week!
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