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When Is Enough, Enough?

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

My grandmom will be 92 next month. Until last year, she lived in Florida by herself and drove. She went to church, shopped, was in 2 red-hat societies and went to the pool every day.

Then she got heart surgery and everything changed. She fell into dementia (from the anesthesia). At first it was horrifying - she thought little people were living under her house - said they had the same furniture. She was so scared. I went to visit her before my Disney World Half Marathon in January, 2013



She told me about her hallucinations. She knew they were not real, but they haunted her. I felt so bad. I didn't want her to be terrified.

In the next couple of months it got worse. She drove to her Doctor's office thinking she had an appointment, sat in the parking lot and then left. Thank God she told my dad - he flew down and took her to the Doctor's. He said she could no longer drive and needed to live in assisted living. My dad moved her into an assisted living home. Her dementia kicked in really fast. I flew down to see her and really thought she was going to pass away in front of me. She was moved to a nursing home. Now, I am told, she is doing "ok". She has full dementia but doesn't have the scary hallucinations any more. I called her the other day. She still knows who I am but talks about things that don't exist. I go along with whatever she says so she doesn't get stressed. I cry and am glad she can't see me crying. She laughs and I laugh (I have no idea why but am glad she is happy). Next month she will be 92 years old. She says if she had it to do again, she would not have had the heart surgery. I do not blame her. When is enough, enough??

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAMROCKY2K 7/23/2014 11:52PM

    There are good things on the horizon with Alzheimer's. They hope it is eradicated by 2020. I follow the news closely. I saw my grandmother go through what yours is going through right now. She was saving milk for "the children living downstairs". My mother has now been in care for over 5 years for the disease. She was good but got to where she was walking fast and fell often. Three weeks ago she fell and broke her hip. The physical therapy is not progressing cause she is not communicative. If she is not able to stand her unit will not allow her to stay. It's sad and frustrating. I am a few hours away from her but have 3 brothers near her and many nieces and nephews.
Hang in there!!

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FUSIONFITNESS3 7/23/2014 7:51PM

    emoticon

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CHEMCHIC2006 7/23/2014 2:21PM

    I'm so sorry to read about all the trials you and your family seem to be going through right now. You are such a strong person.. thinking of you and your family and hoping the best for you all.

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CHERRY666 7/23/2014 9:44AM

    I'm so sorry she, you and your family are going through this. I think my grandma is starting to get dementia (She's turning 88 this year) and it's worrying/scary to think about. It's like watching a fog pass over her. *big, big hugs to you*

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IFDEEVARUNS2 7/23/2014 9:35AM

    emoticon
I recall how difficult it was for my mother to decide on no more treatment. It's a great question. Thankfully my mother remained fairly lucid til the end.

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EDENZMOM 7/23/2014 8:32AM

    She is very fortunate to have an amazing family who is able to care for her! and to have seen your kids grow up into adulthood. that's incredible!!
Just remember the good times and keep doing what you're doing now with the support and the love. We went through it with my (late) grandmother, and she was so special to us, so strong, and the last few months were horrible. it's life, and we will all go through it unfortunately. Best of luck to us all!

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OVERWORKEDJANET 7/23/2014 6:40AM

    She is fortunate to have a caring family. Not much I could say except hang in there.

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/23/2014 12:16AM

    Very sad. You would think that they would have known the risk on an older person and not operated. I understand the crying on your part as I had a dear relative with similar.

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USMAWIFE 7/22/2014 11:42PM

    emoticon we went through that with my mother except she was living in the house with us

her last Christmas she got up at 3 am, got dressed, put on her jacket and sat at the table waiting to go to the doctor. My son woke us up and we went down and told her it was 3 am and Christmas and no doctors for a few days

it is really hard to deal with dimentia. my FIL also has it now and its just a matter of time

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MCFITZ2 7/22/2014 10:12PM

    I feel for all of you. You are doing all the right things by accepting her as she changes. The best you can do is keep in touch by phone and mail. Letters recalling things and possible photos. We all only have this moment and then it is gone and another takes it place. If you give joy, comfort, and love in the moments you connect you have given her everything she would want for those moments. emoticon Hugs

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SHOAPIE 7/22/2014 10:06PM

    emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 7/22/2014 9:53PM

    emoticon

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WATERMELLEN 7/22/2014 9:42PM

    Excellent question, and one that I expect many of us will be asking more and more often in the years to come.

And: you are doing all that you can to be a good daughter. So: as far as you go, definitely you are doing "enough"!!

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Update on my son's BF Mike...

Friday, July 18, 2014

I took my son to see his BF, Mike, today. While my son was visiting. the Dr came in and told Mike he has 3 tumors in his bone marrow.

The Doctor gave Mike two choices - another bone marrow transplant or a trial drug out of New York. Mike picked the trial because he read about someone who did it and survived. He got another test to see if he is eligible, we will know tomorrow.

Two days ago another hospital told him they could do nothing more.

Today he has a chance.

Thanks for your prayers and support.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IFDEEVARUNS2 7/23/2014 9:36AM

    emoticon

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FUSIONFITNESS3 7/20/2014 11:13PM

    Continuing to pray.

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MBTEPP 7/20/2014 10:18PM

    Praying for healing.

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WATERMELLEN 7/19/2014 11:04AM

    Tough tough choice -- hope that it helps.

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TERI-RIFIC 7/19/2014 6:18AM

    I hope the news continues to be positive.

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PRESBESS 7/19/2014 1:14AM

    I am praying for his healing. God is a healer.

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SHAMROCKY2K 7/19/2014 12:07AM

    Thank goodness for more chances.

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USMAWIFE 7/18/2014 11:38PM

    Praying that is can get the trial

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/18/2014 10:48PM

    Yes, he does have chance. Treatments vary from place to place. Have been through this with dear ones.

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Prayers Needed...

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Please pray for my son's BFF Mike who is fighting cancer. He is at Univ of Penn. He has had a 103/104 fever for one month. It's serious.
Thank you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABAJEAN 7/18/2014 10:44PM

    praying !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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OVERWORKEDJANET 7/18/2014 8:14PM

    Good thoughts for the families.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 7/18/2014 2:20PM

    emoticon

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MBTEPP 7/18/2014 7:16AM

    Praying hard. Stay strong. emoticon

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PRESBESS 7/17/2014 10:35AM

    Praying now.

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USMAWIFE 7/17/2014 8:59AM

    sending prayers.. emoticon

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KIWIANN 7/17/2014 8:58AM

    emoticon emoticon

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TERI-RIFIC 7/17/2014 6:40AM

    Yes. emoticon

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MWWENSIN 7/17/2014 12:44AM

    I'm praying

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SWEDE_SU 7/17/2014 12:35AM

    sending healing thoughts and white light…

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FUSIONFITNESS3 7/17/2014 12:03AM

    Keeping him, his family, and your son in prayer.

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WATERMELLEN 7/16/2014 10:07PM

    Sending healing thoughts . . .

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/16/2014 9:53PM

    Will do. Very sad.

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MAMA2FOURKIDDOS 7/16/2014 9:46PM

    Done. emoticon

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I am seriously not making this stuff up...

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I know this is the internet, and I am starting to wonder if you guys are taking me seriously....

My son suffered (still sort of is) from anorexia, his BFF (age 26) is dying from cancer, my husband had prostrate cancer (I think we beat that), my Aunt has parkinsons, my grandmom has dementia and now today my BFF tells me she has been diagnosed with Lupus! Her mom is dying and her dad is going to jail for espionage.

Ugh!!!! Just for the record -- I am not making this stuff up!! Really!!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IFDEEVARUNS2 7/23/2014 9:36AM

    Life is always stranger than fiction. Sadly. emoticon

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MWWENSIN 7/17/2014 12:52AM

    When it rains it pours. I'll keep praying for you.

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OVERWORKEDJANET 7/16/2014 8:55PM

    Hey, you living my life?
Hugs and good wishes.

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WATERMELLEN 7/16/2014 7:07PM

    Oh dear. Overwhelming. Waaaay too much to deal with. I am so sorry.

All these people in your life with problems are lucky to have you supporting them.

But: I'm hoping that you have a source of support too.

And of course you do have US.

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FUSIONFITNESS3 7/16/2014 5:57PM

    emoticon emoticon Sending some emoticon your way! emoticon No doubt you can use some.


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EDENZMOM 7/16/2014 3:28PM

    that is crazy!!
I hope everything works out for your loved ones.
take care of yourself


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WONDERGALE 7/16/2014 12:24PM

    I am so sorry for all that you are going through and you still find the time to go to your fellow Spark friends pages and encourage them. You truly are an inspiration. emoticon

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KIWIANN 7/16/2014 8:55AM

    emoticon You certainly have more than the average burden in life. You and your loved ones are among my daily prayer intentions. I hope that you are always able to find the support that you need to bear it all with grace and peace! emoticon

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KRISZTA11 7/16/2014 4:57AM

    emoticon
Bad thing seem to happen in clusters.
I heard about similar repetitions from quite a few of my friends. Nothing for years, then all of a sudden an entire series...
Hold on, this must come to an end and an event free period of life must start sooner or later.
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SHAMROCKY2K 7/15/2014 11:53PM

    I knew most of that. emoticon You appear to be a strong positive person and I am sure you lighten the days for those affected.


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SHERYLP461 7/15/2014 11:20PM

    Oh my gosh, how horrible for you and them of course!

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/15/2014 11:14PM

    Fact is always stranger than fiction, so I never would doubt you for a minute. Sounds like my life; I've lost so many of all ages these past few years. Sorry to hear so many are ill in your life. It's sad and draining. Take care of yourself to handle the stress better.

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 7/15/2014 9:50PM

    Wow!

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USMAWIFE 7/15/2014 9:45PM

    emoticon I so believe you are not making it up.

My life is a nightmare and people think I am making it up.. WOuld not want anyone to deal with some of the stuff I am

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What I Have Been Up To This Summer...

Monday, July 14, 2014

I have been staying in my calorie range most days this summer. I started a salad/lunch streak about a month and a half ago. I eat a salad everyday for lunch. I pack one for work, and if I go out to a restaurant for lunch I order one. I am picky about what type of salad I order.

What I have found over the years is that I LOVE dinner. My new take is to eat oatmeal for breakfast most days (I need to get my cholesterol down), a salad for lunch and a healthy dinner. I have not been hungry in-between meals with my new plan. I do drink a lot of water throughout the day.

I have been hanging out with my neighbors a lot this summer. Here is a picture (taken by the younger generation) of a neighbor, me and my mom.
The "kids" couldn't believe that us "old" folk would hop on, let ride an ATV!
My dad is standing behind my mom trying to get her to hop off - she did not. It was a lot of fun!



I have also been enjoying our boats. After the Kevin James show in AC (yes, he was very funny), my husband, Roxy and I went on an overnight trip on the Sassafras in Maryland. I did a lot of fishing and napping. It was very nice.

We have been enjoying our pontoon boat. I love this picture of Roxy - I wondered what was going through her mind...



Roxy and I have also enjoyed floating on tubes in the river. It is so relaxing! I read an entire Prevention magazine while tanning in my tube last weekend! Ahhh!

My husband and I loved Salsa lessons. We still practice and will pick up on them again in the fall. It is the fastest 45 minute workout I have ever experienced. I highly recommend it!

I have been cooking a lot of dinners at home. Our kids have all moved out so I have been playing romantic music and lighting candles. My hubby seems to like all the attention. emoticon

Finally, you may remember that we had several evaluations at the school. We moved way up on the "STAR" ladder, I am now planning a party! Right now I think it is going to be at a horse race track in the form of a BBQ with my favorite DJ. Much reason for celebration and I want it to be "fun".

I have just started planning my younger son (23) going away party for his new journey with the National Guard. He is going to boot camp Sept 3rd then to military school for 6 months. I may see him over Christmas. My husband and I will go to his boot camp graduation in Missouri.

Yes, there is a lot going on. It is all positive and so much better than last summer! My older son is still thin, but not skeletal. Most days he eats pretty good. He eats a lot of foods he wouldn't have looked at last year. He isn't miserable or cranky and goes to the gym three times a week - he is working on getting muscle back. He is getting there. The only drawback, which is huge, is that my son is losing his BFF, age 26, to cancer. His BFF has been fighting cancer for 7 years. Literally, fighting. He is a great kid, and it is not fair. And, it worries me. My son talks about it a little bit. I told him I would pay for a therapist if he wanted to talk to someone. As I re-read this, I think I will be more persistent about him going.

I will leave you this beautiful picture of the Super Moon, Friday night, over the river in front of my house. I left the shade in my room open. The moon flows down the river - it looked like it was day out all night!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDERGALE 7/16/2014 12:31PM

    Looks like that ATV ride was fun! If dogs could talk. Great pictures! I'm sorry about your sons friend.

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FUSIONFITNESS3 7/15/2014 8:44PM

    Love that super moon shot!!!

So glad to read about all the positive events and fun you're experiencing this summer. You deserve that after the last year plus....

Love the shot of Roxy too.

Floating tubes in the river sounds heavenly. Especially right now as we are experiencing some extremely hot temperatures for us up here.

Thanks for posting.



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JEWELS571 7/15/2014 12:43PM

    Cancer sucks :( Glad that your summer is going well though!

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TERI-RIFIC 7/15/2014 5:48AM

    What a great summer you're having. It proves you can have a life and have fun and still eat healthy. Wonderful pictures. The moon pic is spectacular. I wish your son well in boot camp and I hope your other son continues to do well and is able to deal with his friend's illness. It's hard. My Dad died when I was 17 and I was mad at God for about 5 years.

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KRISZTA11 7/15/2014 3:05AM

    I'm so happy for you!
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I loved your blog, it is really uplifting to hear you have such a wonderful, active and fun summer.
The ATV picture is very cool!
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SWEDE_SU 7/15/2014 12:26AM

    thank you for sharing your summer experiences - i love the image of you and roxy in the inner tube, reading the magazine! i'm another oatmeal for breakfast enthusiast - it really sticks, and as a vegan, salads are part of every day too.

so sorry to hear about your son's friend - that has to be difficult, and especially when your son seems to be recovering from a difficult time, too.

love the final pic of the moon - wouldn't you know it was cloudy here, so i missed it! thanks for sharing. emoticon

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SHAMROCKY2K 7/15/2014 12:13AM

    Great moon picture! I noticed the moon being big but missed the story about it until afterwards.
I am an oatmeal enthusiast too. Usually put in peanut butter, a fruit or 2 and top it with a couple of dark chocolate chips. (It's REALLY good with a bit of bacon too.. but that was overkill on a regular basis.)

Great blog!

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 7/14/2014 10:48PM

    I'm sorry to hear about your son's friend. That's tough.

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