Thursday, November 29, 2012
The last couple of evenings I have been mindlessly nibbling . . whilst getting the kids dinner ready. I try reflecting - Am I hungry? What sounds good? the answers are vague.
I ended up having my dinner, rather than wait for my husband.
I think that what I was feeling was fatigue and low energy associated with the long hot (39C, or 102F) day.
When my husband got home I told him that some days I am not going to wait for him for dinner. If I am to be truly intuitive, I need to have more control over when I eat - and since hubby has not been getting home until 7.30 then he puts the kids to bed, we were not eating until after 8pm. I will wait if I can - but if I can't I will eat.
After dinner we always have a hot drink and a 'little sweetie' - normally a museli bar with a drizzle of chocolate on it, but sometimes a row of chocolate, or a cookie or two. Anyway, two nights ago I thought, actually I want some fruit - and last night I thought, actually I don't want anything. What? That has never happened. When I was tracking I was always tallying up what I had eaten in the day to see if I could have chocolate & a museli bar or just the bar. I never stopped to think whether I really wanted it.
I weighed in today. I decided to weigh monthly, and since we have friends coming over for dinner tonight, I thought I would weigh in today. (No point after a slightly bigger, and slightly more sodium containing meal). No change. That's right. No change to my weight. Its funny that I don't really feel anything about that, its more just an observation. I think I am actually getting to the point where I don't need the scale to validate my behaviours. I feel good, and my clothes fit, and when I look in the mirror I like what I see.
At the pool yesterday (first time for the summer), I could not help looking at some of the other bodies there. Some looked really fit, some not so much - it was not until I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror in the change room that I realised that the mental picture I had of myself was much less flattering than the truth.
Of course, December will be a challenging month for my intuitive eating. I just need to keep practicing these skills, and I will be fine.
Monday, November 26, 2012
On the weekend, we stayed with my parents. A great weekend. Lots of mountain biking, including one with my husband whilst the kids were with their grandparents.
Mum and Dad love to have family to stay, and it often involves presenting cakes, chocolates, biscuits, etc for our enjoyment.
Sunday afternoon we have a fresh & tasty barbecue lunch, which was lovely. Then mum produced a 'Boston Bun' to have with a cup of tea afterwards. I love Boston bun (a bun with sultanas in it, iced with a kind of fake creamy icing and sprinkled with coconut - spread with butter of course). So I took a slice whilst the tea was being made. I really enjoyed it, especially as I was hungry after a challenging MT bike ride. There were a few slices left on the platter.
Anyway - Mum got distracted making the tea, and one of the kids needed attention, and then my sister was leaving. In the confusion, my sister's dog jumped up on the table and stole a piece of bun. Boston Bun! Criminal dog!
Anyway - growled at the dog, said goodbye to my sister then cleared the table.
And there I am looking very closely at the remaining pieces of bun to see if there was any evidence that the dog had touched them. Did I tell you that I love Boston Bun? I really think that the dog just got one piece and did not touch the others.
WHAT? What am I thinking? That it might be worth getting dog germs in order to have one more piece of delicious Boston Bun. (I can't believe that I am admitting this)
Then I remembered the Intuitive Eating philosophy. I can eat anything I want - right? So if I really want a Boston Bun, I can go down to the shop right now, or tomorrow, or every day for the next 3 weeks and buy a whole Boston Bun all to myself, and not share it with anyone - certainly not my sister's naughty dog.
This is exactly what Intuitive Eating is talking about - that is not the last piece of Boston Bun in the world (if it was, I would have eaten it) - so let go of the 'last meal' mentality, and throw the bun in the rubbish.
I am certainly not giving it to the dog,
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Many of you know that I have been nibbling around the edges (pun intended) of the Intuitive Eating philosophy. Today I have to tell you that I am about to plunge head first in - on the basis of an interview I just heard.
Being interviewed is Elyse Resch, one of the authors of the Intuitive Eating book.
I don't want to tempt anyone away from their current eating system - if tracking and following the SP principles is working for you, you should continue.
What I found was that I was not feeling good about my relationship with food. It was becoming obsessive - and I was going through a control/out of control cycle. This interview really hit a cord (or several) with me.
What did she have to say that caught my attention?
* That some people develop disordered eating after being on a diet. (The regular binges that have only started since I lost weight)
* There are 'white knucklers' - those who appear on the outside to have it all together. They eat well, they exercise regularly . . . . but they are 'white knuckling it' - on edge the whole time. (Ring any bells? Maintaining for 12 months, but still bingeing on breakfast cereal every week or so)
* That research demonstrates that toddlers naturally practice intuitive eating - it is a skill we are born with that we lose through conditioning (I see this with my kids - do you want another pancake? no . . . can I have an apple?)
* The analogy of the french fries - if we tell ourselves that we can have fries anytime we wish, then once they go cold, or after we've had a few, we will stop - it is the mentality that we aren't allowed to have it, so we should gobble them all up, even the burnt, cold, greasy ones.
* The fact that every body has its own natural size - and that trying to maintain weight below that may lead to feelings of deprivation. (This is HUGE for me - I am currently 58kg, a weight I have not been for about 15+ years. In 2005 when I travelled around Australia for a year I lost weight to 64kg - and maintained it until I got pregnant in 2007. This was my initial goal - but SP made me see I could lose more than that. Is it possible I can be just as happy, healthy, fit etc at 64kg (a BMI of 21.6) as I can at 58 (a BMI of 19.6)?)
So, I am going to step away from the scale - put maintenance on the back burner. Focus on what is really important to me. Feeling good in myself, feeling fit and strong, being good to myself, focusing on the important things in life.
Oh, and buy the book!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I am moving towards trust. I am moving towards intuition.
I don't want to follow any principles imposed by others - even the Intuitive Eating principles.
I just want to follow myself.
Fuel my body. Enjoy the eating experience. Be mindful of a focus on health. Learn to listen to my body, and what it needs. Know that I will have 'good' days and 'bad' days. Bad days are not to be a trigger for guilt - what a wasted emotion that is! Just try to better understand myself instead.
This will involve a wobbly period.
I would say I am not in touch with my health & my body. I can not tell you how many times I have spoken to someone who says 'Have you got a cold?' - and I have thought 'Me? No. Well, actually now you mention it, my nose is a bit stuffy". Or I go to the doctor with a complaint, and they ask me about various other symptoms I have - and I am always responding 'Not that I have noticed. Oh, maybe a little bit. Actually, now you mention it . . '.
So my focus will be on me - but not how I look, or whether I can afford to have another piece of cake or not . . . . but on how I am feeling. What makes me feel good, and what makes me feel not so good. Not just food and exercise - but all facets of my life. Sleep, love, family, laughter, friendships, culture, community, creativity and learning.
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