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ROGUE_RUNNER's Recent Blog Entries

Motivator of the day?? You shouldn't have *blush*

Saturday, August 03, 2013

Hello Sparkies!

I rolled over this morning in my bed ... groggy...and grabbed my phone as I do just about every morning ... "What exciting things happened while I slept???"

Normally the answer is ... nothing.

But not today! I awake to find a ton of spark notifications ... why??? Apparently I have been named Motivator of the Day! Woohooo!

First ... thank you all for your comments and messages. It means the world to me.

I honestly havent been very active on Spark lately. In the past, it has been my only hope to take the weight off...I needed the support! This time around - I needed to find the inspiration within myself - and I have. That doesn't mean I dont LOVE SparkPeople...I really do! I still recommend it to everyone I meet who needs support in losing the weight and getting healthy! I still want to start bloggging again because I love it.

I'm back down to 234 lbs. I am running 3 miles three days a week on my lunches and doing Jillian Michaels "Making the Cut" with a friend 5 days a week after work.

Somehow .. I found Adrienne the Athlete. Im not sure I ever knew she existed. I mean, I played sports in high school but I would never have considered myself an athlete even then. I was always the "power" player ... never the fast player. I thought that in order to be a runner you had to win races. Winning races took being fast. Boy was I ever wrong.

I have just started putting one foot in front of the other and BAM ... there she was. Adrienne the athlete runner :) Yep...Adrienne the 234 lb athlete runner.

Could I really dream of a 10K? Could I dream of a half? Could I dare to dream of running a Marathon??? Impossible? Maybe not. Im running 5Ks 3 times a week on my lunch breaks. Why not a marathon?

Here is something that you get when the weight starts coming off. Yes, smaller clothes. Yes, more confidence. Yes, health.

But the most powerful thing of all is that you get to dream again.

What dreams have you lost or let go because the weight is holding you back? Because YOU hold you back? Do it for the dream.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANKLY5 1/1/2014 9:17AM

    congratulations. I hope that you get active on Sparks again in 2014

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BETHSWORLD 8/7/2013 2:33PM

    So glad you are doing so well! Running 3 miles...that's amazing! I can't even run a mile :-)....So glad to hear from you!!

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 8/5/2013 6:37PM

    emoticon So good to hear from you. WTG on the running.

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MJ7DM33 8/3/2013 11:19AM

  emoticon Great blog! emoticon

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JPRSAVETTE 8/3/2013 10:11AM

    congrats on being motivator of the day!!!!!!!!!!!

my biggest problem is that i can no longer blame stuff on my weight........i have taken the weight i must address the issue of what holds me back now.......time to apply the same principles that took the weight off to getting my life in order............#1 DO anything..........but take action

today i will do something........i will do it for the dream

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Don't cry over spilled doughnuts ... or something like that.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Yesterday ... I had a literal emotional breakdown over a doughnut.

Most of you are not surprised by this. If you have read any of my blogs you know that I am pretty transparent about my struggles with food.

Others might think I'm being ridiculous. That's okay, you are welcome to your own opinions, but before you judge - take some time to get to know me and you will realize that I'm a pretty level-headed girl and (even though I might be a little dramatic at times) I am really doing my best to work my way through this weight loss journey in the most healthy way possible - and that means that I have to get to the bottom of the WHY of my issues and not just the WHAT...

The WHAT is pretty obvious. I have issues. Everyone can see it. Unlike some other addictions - I can't hide in the dark, or in the privacy of my own home, or in a bar somewhere. My addiction is blaring loud and clear for everyone to see and to judge. They say that the first step in breaking any addiction is to acknowledge that you have a problem...

Well, Ive done that - 3 different times. Yes, I have lost over 70 lbs on 2 different occasions - and here I am again, back to getting those same 70 lbs off again. I wont quit ... I will keep fighting for my life. It may be shameful - but I can deal with that too. So...again I say - the WHAT is obvious - I can deal with the WHAT.

However, if I want to keep the weight off this time - or any time ... I MUST find the WHY. I have been unable to accomplish this goal so far.

Why? Why does throwing a doughnut in the trash send me into a puddle of tears at my cubicle desk (of all places)?

Why do I equate eating at home (instead of eating out) with some sort of punishment?

Why do I feel like my weight is validation of the person I am inside?

If you've come accross this blog and you have had these same questions ... or if you have never asked yourself "Why?" - then just know that you will have to ask yourself these questions ... if you are an addict, or else you will never win.

On a side note - I ran 2 miles yesterday.

I never thought I would be a runner - I certainly never thought I would be a runner at 250 lbs. Just goes to show that the mind is a powerful thing - and your body can do more than you think it can. ;o)

Have a great week Sparkers!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANKLY5 5/11/2013 2:50PM

    PS I know that my addiction is to Sugar and white carbs not food in general.
Sugar is my drug. We can't hide our bodies so true, but who thinks twice about offering us our drug of choice. Not many. Or indulging in front of us, or advertising on TV in Mags and all over the grocery store. Every "event" My drug is easy to get and easy to find someone to share it with. I hate my drug.
Today you gave me reason to try again to leave it alone.
Thank you, I needed that

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FRANKLY5 5/11/2013 2:45PM

    I have always been ( since seeing your for the first time on Spark) and still am a huge fan of yours. No pun intended. You are going to make it. I just know it.
Dang it is a hard journey though isn't it?
I go crazy having a good week, month or year just to sabotage myself and have to start over or nearly over again.

This time my goal is small. I believe in baby steps. 7 pounds in 7 weeks to reach 215 by the fourth of July 2013. Wish me luck.
And a great big hug and a good luck to you

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 4/23/2013 10:24PM

    WTG on the running! Praying you find out your why. emoticon

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ONTHEPATH2 4/23/2013 1:50PM

    thanks for the smile! I know the donut thing..... I can relate. Now, ask me how I feel throwing the celery in the trash? Not one tear, not one shred of emotion. If you figure out what that is about, let me know please?

Kudos on the running! I wish I could run - walking a mile gives me pain, which brings me back to the donut, which is probably at the root of that pain..... hmmmmm.

Somedays I win, somedays the donut wins, but when I can look at that donut and see the pain, the shame I carry from being overweight, that donut doesn't stand a chance!

Never quit! emoticon

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KEEPTRYING4ME 4/23/2013 1:43PM

    PS I too have discovered that at 227 pounds I can run for two miles straight! I ran a mile at 260. NEVER knew my body could do that!

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KEEPTRYING4ME 4/23/2013 1:40PM

    Oh my GOSH, lol, you sound just like me! Are you sure we are not long lost sisters? You are so funny. Ranting and raving, and then all like, but I RAN! LOL, I do the same thing all the time. Don't you love being a woman? We just flip that fast.

Now about that donut. Girl you will never need to explain to me about donuts, or cake or cookies or well, anything delicious, I don't play favorites, I completely understand!

Some days we win, some days we lose, some days we learn... As long as I keep learning I'm ok with my feelings. I am learning to do deal with them when they arise, even if I cry. It is better to cry than eat the donut if you are not hungry or if it is going to cause guilt and pain later.

You are doing all the right things. Soon this mountain will be like a molehill, that you have threshed your way through. Only believe, only keep on keeping on!

You've got this girl!

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SOKPUPPIT6 4/23/2013 12:55PM

    I just got here. This is the first comment I've written on here, but I can definitely relate. It's great you are running! I usually walk. I hope to be able to run someday. Oh, my husband brought home doughnuts last weekend. He doesn't get it. emoticon

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I feel Pope-less

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Sorry...but I had to.

I am not Catholic - and I intend no disrespect at all! Actually, I feel the exact opposite. I find this Papal Conclave very intriguing! I spent part of my lunch today watching the Cardinals swear that they won't tell anyone who they voted for in a 'room' (if you can even call it that) where this exact ceremony has taken place for centuries!! How interesting!

Anyway...that is my current world news obsession - I'm pretty excited about it.

In good news! I actually don't feel hope-less today. I feel pretty strong. I am down 10 lbs from my "start-back" weight. My food and exercise is going really good. Im checking in on Spark - even though I am not fully back yet ... I am blogging again and that feels great! I really really missed it.

I would love to hear from everyone! Please let me know what is going on out there in Spark Land! I hope that even if we are Pope-less ... none of you are hopeless!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMARISK 4/1/2013 8:37AM

    Sorry I'm just seeing this blog. Congrats, girl! 10lbs is amazing!!! emoticon emoticon

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 3/15/2013 9:35AM

    emoticon What a strong start. Ten pounds is GREAT!

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MIBELLALUNA 3/14/2013 9:39PM

    Hey you! I thought I commented after I read this b ut I guess I vlogged instead! haha So good to hear your 2 cents!

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TRYINGTOLOSE64 3/12/2013 9:24PM

    Congrats on the weight loss!! I don't know about you but I'll be glad when they just go ahead and decide on a new Pope.

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No need to file a Missing Persons report

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Hello Spark Friends!

Sooo... I am still alive.

I know - everyone has been on the edge of their seats, waiting for me to post :) **sarcasm**

I bought an Ipad and haven't been able to post video blogs - which bums me out - but I KNOW I should be atleast writing. The truth is - I haven't been doing very good and I wanted to try to get back to some sort of commitment before I threw myself back in to the Spark world. ((I know that is a bad mentality - but it's just the way it is))

I've been doing a Biggest Loser challenge at my work and even though I'm not going to win the challenge, I have been doing pretty good. I've gotten my head on straight again and realizing that gaining all my weight back is just the reality that I live in. So, yes, that makes 3 times that I have lost 70 lbs or more and gained it all back :(

The first step is acceptance.

There ... first step completed.

I tracked my food yesterday. Step 2.

Im blogging again - Step 3.

Here is to my way back to being a healthy person. I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone...but ultimately this is about me - so, here I go again :) Join me if you wish.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 3/15/2013 9:34AM

    Welcome back!!! emoticon

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BETHSWORLD 3/9/2013 9:20AM

    I am just so glad you are back! Glad you got your head on straight LOL....just don't stop trying...that is the very worse thing you can do. I am you found your way back Sweetie!


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JUST2SWEET 3/5/2013 9:40PM

    Welcome back!

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ROGUE_RUNNER 3/5/2013 1:50PM

    Hey Lisa! I'm glad to be back too..thanks for not forgetting about me!

Laskie2 - You don't know me or anything about what I have been although I appreciate that you are trying to be an encouragment - please be more sensitive with your comments.

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MIBELLALUNA 3/5/2013 1:08PM

    HEY!!! Awesome to 'see' you again! Girl, don't I know the danger of drifting away. Likewise I hate to keep posting when I'm not getting ahead of the game but you are back and that is a good start right?! I can feel my thighs just ITCHING to pack on some poundage if I don't get moving again! :) WELCOME BACK!

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LASKIE2 3/5/2013 12:49PM

    Welcome back & try to stop Yo-yo dieting. Make it a Lifestyle change! emoticon

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The "backwards scissor": A Yoga story.

Saturday, June 02, 2012

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMARISK 7/9/2012 8:15AM

    It's so hard to go to the gym and not have those feelings of jealousy. I'm jealous because they're already where I wish I could be. I try to remind myself that they all started where I'm at now. Someday we'll be there too girl. We just have to keep pushing it and keep doing what we're going. Stay strong, my friend.

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