RODERUNR   4,512
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Jiggly Bits ~

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Ok, so I hear-by declare that this will be the LAST summer I will feel self-conscious when I:

- put on shorts;
- wear a sleeveless shirt;
- wear a fitted tank-top;
- AND OH HEAVENS FORBID...squeeze into a bathingsuit!!!!!!!

My jiggly bits have seen the last of my summers.
It's time for them to retire ~ along with:

- my TIGHT size 16/18 pants,
- my plus size 2XL tops,
- my oversized t-shirts and leggings
- and that GOD AWFUL one-piece SKIRTED bathing suit!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS is "The" PLAN:

- stick to my low-carb way of life
- Eat ABSOLUTELY nothing that's white
- WALK, WALK, WALK every day during the week - at least 20min (it can be 10 at lunch break and 10 after dinner)
- bike ride with the kids (or without the kids) on weekends :)
- find an alternate outlet when my DH becomes stressful - walk away and do not reciprocate
And the hardest thing of all...
- Make time for ME - don't feel guilty and don't allow to be guilted when it's questioned!

Jiggly Bits...I'm giving you 9 months to slowly disappear! By May 1st, 2013, I want to see MUCH less of you!!! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RODERUNR 7/25/2012 8:14AM

    Ahhh, yes!! And bat wings too!! emoticon emoticon

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WOUBBIE 7/24/2012 3:29PM

to bat wings too! (I'm planning on making those an endangered species myself!)

I'm so happy to hear you actively planning for "Me Time!" You SO deserve it!


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-LINDA_S 7/24/2012 3:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ERICA428 7/24/2012 3:00PM

    Good Luck! Im rooting for you :) I havent worn shorts in years and Im hoping by next summer I can too! Lets not let weight hold us back from living our lives!

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TORAMPAUL 7/24/2012 2:55PM

    Sounds like you've got a good plan! Stick with it!

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MWHITE0527 7/24/2012 2:45PM

    Sounds awesome! Good luck!

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Success ~ recruited my BFF!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

This past weekend, I took a good long look at myself in the mirror...naked (ugh). Don't get me wrong, I do this on a daily basis but quickly turn my head and put my clothes on... BUT last Sunday, it was different! I critiqued, I turned, I lifted, I cried...and then I told myself that the party is over! I don't want to look like "that" in the mirror anymore!

Baby steps...

So I called up my BFF and finally fessed up to her. I told her my struggles and asked her for help. I couldn't believe how easily she jumped on the band wagon with me!! She's walking beside me for strength and support and it feels great! I need that...I don't get the same feeling of support from my DH...although he means well.

I think I'm on track and that makes me happy. It was time to finally look at my naked self...and I won't shy away from her again!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNITTERBUG1 7/5/2012 10:11PM

    CONGRATULATIONS for having the courage to face your demons head on, and for bravely opening up to your friend. Of COURSE she's on board and supportive...she's your BFF! She loves you and wants you to succeed and be healthy and be around for many many years. My BFF is the same way. She's always been thin, I've always been fat...but she is my biggest supporter when it comes to my weight loss.
So happy that you're feeling stronger and more motivated. When you start to lose that motivation, come back here and re-read all the supportive comments you have gotten. Then shut down that pity party and get moving! :)
Best of luck to you!!! I'm proud of your success!!!

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WOUBBIE 6/26/2012 11:24AM

    Give your BFF a big hug from me! Thanks, sister!

I am SO glad you reached out to her! Sometimes it's just so hard to ask for help, but then when you do you wonder why you waited so long!


(Wish they had an emote for the happy dance!)

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DREAVG 6/26/2012 10:34AM

    How lucky you are to have such a great friend. I hope you count that in your blessings.


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Baby steps

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I've forgotten what it's like to have the support of my Sparkfriends! Coming back and posting a blog was the best thing I could have done! It helps to know that I have support and knowing I'm not the only one in this vicious cycle...

It will take time to work through all the "stuff" that keeps the binge monster in my life - I know that...and thankfully, I have time. And unlike the past "ump-teen" times I've tried this weight-loss thing...this time, I'm taking baby steps...not leaps and bounds.

Today's baby-step - WATER...and lots of it :)


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOUBBIE 6/20/2012 6:22PM

    I missed you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

((( giant hugs and general rib crushings!!!)))

Comment edited on: 6/20/2012 6:24:22 PM

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ROJAKHAN 6/20/2012 10:48AM


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CONTENT226 6/20/2012 10:23AM

  Steady baby steps, one day at a time, moving forward always. emoticon

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EZRIN101 6/20/2012 9:46AM


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Through my tears...

Monday, June 18, 2012

Through my tears I sit here at my desk reading my previous posts. After months of avoiding all things "Spark" (not because of the people or my friends here but because of where I am in my life right now)...I finally clicked the link and logged on. I'm not promising success or failure...but I am willing to "hang out" again...

I am in a bad place - emotionally and physically. I've "successfully" gained back my weight and am now at my heaviest (again). I beat myself up daily, unintentionally...and it hurts.

When I was away from SP, I felt myself falling down so I tried to pick myself up with a low carb diet - and then when I couldn't stay away from my carbs anymore, I even tried Weight-watchers... but it just wouldn't stick...

My binge monster is back. I don't know how to make him leave. Maybe I just don't WANT him to leave. I had someone tell me recently that if I really wanted to lose weight, I would do anything possible to make it happen! I DO want to lose badly it why can't I friggin' do this???

Sorry to vent...after reading my blogs over the past year, that's all I seem to do. Vent & cry...


I do miss blogging though... and I'll be logging in tomorrow

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALISHAB3 6/19/2012 10:35AM

    I am so sorry that your binge monster has taken up residence again. I have had a lot of success with two podcasts: 1. Inside Out Weight Loss (especially the first 18 episodes, you can just scroll down Renee Stephens' website.) or you can buy the book, but the podcasts are free. This one helped me give up 'beating myself up' and helped me to make peace with food. 2. Sandra Ahten's The Reasonable Diet podcast was how I got started. It helped me let go of my all or nothing thinking.

I'm not perfect. My diet is not perfect. My weight is not perfect, but I don't have to hate myself anymore, which is a great relief. I hope that you feel better soon, I also hope that these suggestions can help. emoticon

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TUCKERKT 6/19/2012 9:46AM

    Welcome back! If you don't stumble you will never know how strong you really are. I have been fighting and gaining ground on my emotions, to get kick in the butt and then I feel all of this work was pointless. But I have learned each time I get knocked back I get up a lot quicker than the last time, because I AM STRONGER than I know, and one day I will BELIEVE it. Hang in there and take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Just because there is set backs doesn't mean you can't find the courage to fight through it again. One day I hope it gets easier for both of US!

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GRATEFUL_BEING 6/18/2012 10:02PM

  Stop beating yourself up. I'm proud of you for coming back. The first step is hard especially when a person has to repeat it often I have a lot of experience with that! I offer you a helping hand to hold you up. I have no words of wisdom as I too struggle, but we are in this together. Together we are stronger. Hang it there. I believe in you.

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BLUE42DOWN 6/18/2012 6:01PM


Something about the binge monster - it's a trick to think he's really about food. Binging isn't about hunger. Binging isn't about loving food. To tackle him means digging past the piles of food and finding out what drives him. Food is merely the outer layer, the mask he wears.

It could be a feeling that you can't have something, can't have what you want, somewhere else in your life - and so the binge monster says "Oh, yeah? Well we can have as much food as we want and no one can stop us."

It is subconscious. If you knew WHY you were binging, you could be facing that issue directly rather than hiding from it without even knowing it was there. For some people it might take actual counseling to help uncover the binge monster's hidden cache of reasons binging is protecting you. If that's not available to you, sometimes journaling can help make common points stand out.

Journaling would mean keeping track of any sorts of things that occur through each day - who you see, who you talk to on the phone, where you go, your general mood / state of mind. (Not just on binge days, but every day so you start to see a pattern of when you do well and when you have trouble.) It can also include specifics about the binge - the date and time, where you were, what happened in the time before the binge, any emotions you remember feeling or emotions you "should" have been feeling given the situation and didn't.

Perhaps you can even look back at the blogs here again and remember some of that, but what you'd want in this journal is to dig deeper. A binge might be an attempt to forget something else by overwhelming your memory with this new thing and to subdue emotions by bringing in guilt and shame in their place - so it might be very hard to peel away the mask.


Venting and crying that much just speaks to how much inner pain needs release. Don't feel you have to magically sprinkle happy dust on yourself in order to blog something.

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NAYPOOIE 6/18/2012 4:46PM

    Might I suggest you try Atkins instead of Dukan. My understanding is that Dukan is low fat/low carb, and frankly, that's starvation.

Limiting fat isn't necessary with low carb, and it's much harder than just eating the fat that comes with your food. Eating the fat leads to a more satisfying meal, as well as helping you get into fat burning mode.

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Day 2 ~ Valentine treats ~

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Another test of strength...Valentines Day! So far, so good!

Why is it necessary to spend money on chocolates and heart shaped cookies, muffins, cakes and candy on Valentines day? Why can't we just enjoy the hand-made cards from our kids and a gesture of love and respect from our signification other?? Who wrote the "rules" when it comes to this day of love?

There are temptations all around me work, people have baked heart-shaped cookies and red sprinkled truffles...the food court is full of red balloons and Valentine "specials"...the shop windows are plastered with red hearts, cupids and beautifully decorated candy displays... I just can't get away from it!!

I will be happy to celebrate this "special" day with my family - at home - passing around hand-made cards during a home-made, healthy dinner - after which, playing a board game and watching some TV.

There will be no sweets involved in our Valentines Day ~ sharing the love of family is "sweet" enough...

Here's to Day 2~

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FARIS71 2/14/2012 1:57PM

    Amen! Sweet stuff is everywhere!

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