RMARSH07   8,774
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11/12/12 I Looked Better Fat

Monday, November 12, 2012

It's been a while since I was active in Spar People. I have continued on my weight lose goal. I am now at 53 lbs and my next goal is 60 by Christmas. I don't think I will have a problem with making the goal. I don't eat as healthy as I was eating when I was active in Spark. My calories are low, but before I was more cautious of balancing my carbs, protein and fat.

I am blogging because I am upset about the weight loss and what it looks like on me. My top portion looks great, but from the waist down it's absolutely HORRIFYING. My stomach is a ton of loose skin and I have started to get the loose skin on my thighs between my legs. I LOOKED BETTER FAT! I know I am healthier, I know I have more energy, I know I will live longer.

I am going to be one of the people that will need to have plastic surgery at some point. Problem is...who the heck can afford 20-30K to have a tummy tuck and thigh surgery? I was afraid of this when I started the weight lose journey because I knew there would be no way for me to afford to pay for the surgery. I will continue on and since I haven't been exercising at all, I will get back on track with that and try to target some of the areas where I have the most loose skin.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYPIXEL 11/12/2012 10:25PM

    I have the mushroom-top of excess skin that flaps over the top of my jeans, no matter how much trying to tuck it in I do. Just remember... your body will, in time, readjust your skin to fit you again. It takes a while for it to happen, but it does in fact happen. I know this because there used to be an awful lot more of me than there is right now, and while it's taken a while for it to go away, the excess skin has slowly disappeared. :)

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OFFANDAWAY 11/12/2012 5:11PM

    The one blog I read, Runs for Cookies, had her skin removal surgery paid for by her insurance company. Not that this is a choice for everyone, but in case you're curious, you can read more here: http://www.runsforcookies.com/p/pla

She's also a Sparker. Her user name is SlimKatie. Good luck!

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MIDROAD 11/12/2012 3:55PM

    Even people who have been slim all their life, get saggy baggy skin, it's a great equalizer..... emoticon

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MIRAGE727 11/12/2012 3:44PM

    I have to chime in. At 62, and after a 95 pound weight loss, I won't lie. I was wondering what was going to happen. My arms still have a slight bat wing excess, and I still have some loose stomach skin. But it has become better as I exercise and run. The most important thing I focus on though is the fact that I've added years to my life! This is a lifestyle. I embrace it and i will continue to exercise & run for the rest of my life! It's all about the quality of life!

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MJZHERE 11/12/2012 3:37PM

  In clothes I look a lot better - and no one sees those thighs in my hot new jeans. Also I intentionally make myself look away from "the issues" when I look in the mirror and concentrate on the package (hey, I even talk to myself outloud saying "you look good, girl" because I promised myself I was going to do this once I lost the weight no matter what my mind said). Put on the jeans, cover up those upper arms and away I go!

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WILLOWBROOK5 11/12/2012 3:03PM

    I think this is an issue for a lot of us who had a good deal of weight to lose. I am not thrilled with sagging skin but it does seem to be improving a bit with continued exercise. Not great, but I did it to myself and all I have is this body to last me for as long as I can keep it going. And since I also ruined my knees with my excess weight, the lighter I can be, the longer I can put off knee replacement and the better my recovery will be if that time comes. I had a health situation come up at the beginning of this year, requiring visits to various doctors and outpatient surgery. I have to say, even though I was still considered obese at that time, it was great not having my weight be a part of the problem or a factor complicating my treatment and recovery. In fact, while in pre-op, the nicest thing all the very nice medical professionals said to me was when the anesthesiologist told me, "You're healthy and we're not going to have any excitement today." That is what I want in my life more than a flawless body or even one without the battle scars I have given it over the years. Health, strength, resilience, long life. Here is hoping the same for you!

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62NVON 11/12/2012 2:55PM

    I have some skin issues too, but I definitely didn't look better fat. I'm older, so it's definitely harder for my skin to spring back. I've been at maintenance weight for 2 years now, and it has gotten better over time.

As MKELLY says, strength training is very helpful in minimizing it.

CATMAGNET... I feel like you... When I'm dressed, I'm smokin' hot! =)

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CATMAGNET 11/12/2012 2:19PM

    I definitely have my saggy baggy elephant days myself, but I also know that once I get my clothes on, I'm a knockout. I'm also much more fit than I've ever been in my life, and am the most confident I've ever been. I think those things definitely outweight some stretch marks, some saggy skin and some cellulite. Those things just remind me of where I don't ever want to be again.

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MKELLY72 11/12/2012 2:12PM

    I have had trouble dealing with that issue too. Over time, however, I have either become more accepting of myself or I have improved the appearance of my legs/ tummy with continued strength training. I don't train hard or anything, but I think it has helped. It's still not perfect, but I feel like it's better.
Good luck, and no matter what you are doing good things for yourself by eating healthy!

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9/24/12 Gone Couponing

Sunday, September 23, 2012

I haven't been active onsite for about three weeks. I am sticking to the program EXCEPT little to no exercise. I have met my 40 Lbs goal before the 10/12 goal date. I went for almost three weeks and didn't lose a lb. Then BAM 4 lbs in a week.

The size 28's are still sitting on top of the bed in the spare bedroom. I am pretty close to getting rid of them. The mental hang up is going, but it's still scary.

I visited the Spark Savings site and it motivated me to start couponing. My family says I am going to need a 12 step program. Couponing is proof I have an addictive personality. I have only been doing it for three weeks, but I think about it allll the time. I plan out my trips, check prices and I have a COUPON BINDER. I'm not sure why it's so interesting to me. I like figuring out how to get something for really cheap (things we need). I don't have a lot of space for stock piling, so extra toothpaste, shampoo, toilet paper, paper towels and cleaning products have been my focus. We used to buy these items at COSTCO.

I had really gotten into cooking before I started couponing, but I haven't been cooking as much and my family has commented. Eating things cooked at home are so much better for you. My whole family benefits. This weekend I bought Healthy Choice frozen dinners for my lunch at work so that I don't have to fix a lunch each day. Bagels for breakfast, frozen dinner for lunch with some yogurt, snack of almonds and then left overs from what ever we have cooked for dinner. I think this is me spanking myself for focusing too much on coupons and not enough on eating healthy.

Work is crazy stressful. I had two employees quit, so now I spend 20 hours a week recruiting and interviewing. This is soo miserable. Anyone every interviewed someone that has been out of work for a while and you can tell they are desperate to get back to work, but they just don't have the skills of experience you are looking for. Having to sit there and tell them that they don't have the skills I am looking for, it's miserable. I had to do that twice last week. I thought one of them (a man) was going to cry. After that one, I wanted to go home and cry.

I haven't gotten on my bike in almost three weeks. The weather is great, just being lazy. It's 30 minutes. It's such a short time period that my family doesn't even know I'm gone. Put in my ear buds and it's done before I even get started. I need to create a streak for exercise, I need to create a streak for exercise, I need to create a streak for exercise.

I feel like a kid in school where the teacher makes you write something 100 times because you misbehaved. Signing off....yes I'm going for a ride. I guess I have to blog to guilt myself into doing something I know is good for me.


What will I do when I'm at My Goal Weight 09/04/12

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

So Spark Coach asked that we blog about why werewolf want to lose weight. I know a short term goal is to be able to fly without a seatbelt extender. When you are really overweight flying is painful. Literally. If you don't sit by someone you know that will not say anything if you lift the arm between you seat and theirs you are pinched between the seats. The people at the check in desk intentionally place the obese next to people they think will not be offended by this. Then there is the whole asking for the seat belt extender. The stewardess never knows where it is. They really try to be discreet when they give it to you, but there is no way to do this without it being noticed. I can't wait till I get on a plane and the seat belt fits!

I have already noticed some of this, but having the energy to do things I wouldn't do. My husband and I have talked about going to the Grand Canyon, but he says it's too much walking and I couldn't do it. Right now he is right. No way I could walk miles down and then back up...just call the morgue now I would die.

I was raised by a handy man so I am not afraid of tackling home projects. I just don't have the strength of stamina to finish. We live in a fixer up house that needs a lot of work. There are plenty of projects. These days with the Internet you can watch a video on doing just about everything.

I like to travel, but between flying and not being able to walk very far it's not easy to do right now. So more travel would definitely be something I would do.

I think I also want to be less uptight. I worry so much about looking dumb that I am reluctant to participate in things that look like they are a lot of fun. I took a cruise once and wouldn't get up with the rest of my group for a dance lesson. Then later during the trip I was pushed into playing air guitar and all I could think about was how stupid the fat girl looked. I want to be able to be silly and not worry about looking dumb. I feel like I have been an adult since I was 8. I was always a serious child and I was always taking care of my siblings.

I think that's enough for now. it's a little to deep into the emotions for me. Good therapy, but enough for now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MNNICE 9/5/2012 1:36PM

    Keep reaching for those goals, and little by little you will find yourself doing things you couldn't or wouldn't. Enjoy and celebrate every small milestone you reach, and don't compare yourself to anyone else! Concentrate on just being a better YOU and with SP you might even surprise yourself at what you find deep inside that you didn't know existed! Hang in there always!

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    Loved your blog.... that is so true about feeling like you just look silly,,,, I never really thought about it but I too have had some of those feelings. I hate how big I feel in booths at restaurants and your stomack goes all the way to the table and you can't move over to slide around. Also on roller coaster rides and the bar comes down from above and you are TOTALLY squished !! I too look forward to that ! I am going to add you as afriend , ,, hope you don't mind !

we can do this


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MKELLY72 9/5/2012 10:04AM

    I love all of your goals! They are so real and obviously meaningful to you. The mention of being able to do something silly and not feel "dumb" really rings with me. I was always so afraid of that too, and I longed to be that carefree woman who just has fun...and that has happened for me. It's a really freeing experience. You will get there-it just takes small progress every day, week, etc, and you are doing that!

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MBGUYER 9/4/2012 9:30PM

  It is nice to look forward to all of the things we can do when we are at our goal weight and goal fitness levels -- but I like to look forward to some of the smaller things that are closer to where I am now. You mentioned being able to finish a project at home, or walk more.

We can do it!!

Have a good one!

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Am I Brave Enough To Get Rid of My Size 28 Clothes?

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Today I went through every closet, every drawer and anything size 28 or 26 I tried on and none of them fit. I made a huge pile of clothes that will be taken to Resale shop I found recently that specializes in Women Plus Size Clothes.

I did find a lot of size 22-24 that fit or were a little loose. I now have a new wardrobe that should last me till I get into 18-20. Uhhhh my hands are shaking typing size 18-20. is it possible that I can actually be a size 20-22 by my Birthday in February? I am also really nervous to think about getting rid of the size 26-28 clothes. When you are that size finding professional clothes that fit a 5'-3" woman is tough.

Okay, I'm going to say it...what if I gain it all back like I have so many times before. So many times have I lost close to 30 lbs to quit and gain it all back in a year. I feel different, but I've said that before, I've said this is a lifestyle change before.

I have learned how to cook healthy (still learning) and I am doing 100X more cooking.
I plan meals for the week and cook at least two things that I can warm up
I now do the grocery shopping so that I control what comes into the house
My grocery cart is 1/3 full of produce
I only eat out with my husband 1X every couple weeks
I take my lunch and snacks almost every day.
I have spent a lot of researching and trying healthy substitutes for things I love to eat.
I now eat at least 3 servings of fruits or veggies
I watch my sodium and look at my feet to notice the impact when I have had too much.
I have now been on this program for about 75 days. Never stuck with anything past 45days
I consistently drink 8 glasses of water or more. Never ever did I do this for even 2 days
I can allow my self a splurge but eat less than half of what I would have
I think before I put food in my mouth...maybe too much
I can pretty easily walk past the candy jars and sweets at work (because if I really need it I have a stash of 150 calorie treats in my desk drawer)
I use my sleep apnea CPAC as much as I can. Got through the whole night last night!
I track my food everyday

I haven't lost any weight in two weeks. 32 lbs, 14.5 inches. I am afraid this is all I will lose, but that's the negative head speak that I am still working on. Every time I blog It causes me to really be honest with myself and notice the real changes I have made. I have seen so many people who have successfully done this through Spark. It doesn't happen in a day. I expect the majority of this weight to take a couple of years.

If I get rid of these clothes that is a sign of my commitment. Can I really do that? Can I say that I will never ever be a size 26-28 again? I'm afraid.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MKELLY72 9/2/2012 11:07PM

    From reading your list, I would have to say that you are ready! I was scared too when I did the same thing, but I did it, and I replaced things as necessary with resale shop items. I had so much fun doing it, and with each weeding (I started at a 22 and have now landed at 8!!!) it got less and less scary. You sound like you have really made the commitment. It was exhilarating when I made that purge, and I've never regretted it...this was the first time I'd been able to let them go too, even though I'd been through 20-40 pound losses before that and regained (cycled through that pattern about 5 or 6 times over a period of 15 years) I think it really helped to keep me determined to keep the promise to myself to keep progressing forward once I'd removed my "crutch" by getting rid of the big clothes for good. I saved one pair of jeans and one top- just to have that visual reminder ....it was also a cool thing to put them on once in a while as my journey progressed...made me feel so good.
Take the leap! You are ready!

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MNNICE 9/2/2012 12:05PM

    I say go for it! You are definitely making the lifestyle changes that will help keep those pounds off!

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LISABOULDER 9/1/2012 10:42PM

  You're doing all the right things. If you're not ready to donate the clothes yet, just bag them up and then maybe donate later. emoticon emoticon

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 9/1/2012 10:10PM


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HOTPINKCAMARO49 9/1/2012 10:09PM

  emoticon You go, girl! emoticon emoticon

Today is the 1st day of the rest of YOUR LIFE!

God Bless You!

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Progress Measured Without The Scale

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Spark Coach asked that I make a list of ways other that weight that I know I have made positive changes. (I love the Spark Guy!). I really didn't think I would come up with much, but surprisingly I came up with a lot more than I thought I would.

Things I can do that I couldn't have done 60 days ago.

1.). Ride my bike for one hour
2.) Walk up the stairs without holding the rail or stopping
3.). Say no to doughnuts, cake and walk by candy jars at work
4.). Cooked meals to feed my family healthy options that they love
5.). Having really good lunches at work that I bring from home
6.). Looked at my face and seen less wrinkles (I was dehydrated)
7.). Fit into my skinny jeans
8.). Stopped eating when I am full
9.). Allow myself a splurge but have smaller and less frequent splurges
10.). Fit into size 22 pants (I was a 28).
11.). Believe that I could do this for the rest of my life
12.). Motivate others
13.). add veggie to everything and it still taste great
14.). Diet and still like the food
15.). Choose my light options over the crazy fat options I was eating

So, I guess I have many more signs of progress than I thought I did. 30 lbs is a big deal, but when you have another 100 lbs to go it doesn't seem like such a big deal.

I think what has surprised me the most about writing this list is how many of them are mental changes. Changes to the way I look at food and how I now know more about healthier food choices.

Than you Spark and my Spark friends for being there during my journey.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MKELLY72 8/26/2012 11:32AM

    It is a big deal! You are doing great! This looks very much like a list I made along my journey, and that is exactly how I reduced my weight by 100 pounds! That's also how I have kept it off for 6 months. The slow and steady route really helps to prepare you for making these changes sustainable. You are rocking this thing!

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LADYPIXEL 8/25/2012 7:33PM

    You're doing phenomenally... and I have a list much like yours. I've gone down about 100 pounds from where I started, so I can tell you that you can, and will, do this! Just hang in there and keep at it!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOSE4LIFE47 8/25/2012 6:44PM

    Keep up the good work!

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